30+ and i've never had a girlfriend--

new birthday tomorrow, I'll probably look for some places to hang out, pending snowstorm notwithstanding... my lovelife needs a bailout.. :smt009
 
Hypestyle said:
I'm in the southeast michigan area, I consider myself in the market for a girlfriend, but, well, I tend to have a lot of anxiety in social situations, I was a "nerd" as a kid, girls weren't into me..
needing tips for meeting folks, trying to get out of depression, etc. :?
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It is not easy for everyone to go out and meet new people and be okay with themselves. There is something everyone is afraid of doing but there are things we find in ourselves to overcome the ones we are afraid of. JUST BE YOURSELF, the right person will come along and find you atttractive and want to be with you for you!! Until that day comes just do what you feel comfortable, dont worry that you are 30 and never dated, its better to not loved then be hurt in the long run. Wait for your special person, they will come to you:D
 
GirlieGirl74 said:
Hype,

When I read this, it just really broke my heart. It sounds as if you have just given up on ever finding a relationship. There is nothing wrong with being single if that is what you want, but from reading your posts, I don't think that is truly what you want. Anything worth having is hard work, and it's no different with relationships. I know that rejection hurts...I would venture to say that most of us have been there at some point in our lives. Not everyone that we are attracted to is going to be attracted to us, but I'm a firm believer that there is someone for everyone.

I hope that I'm not getting to personal, but I feel like that you may be your own worst enemy when it comes to dating. Do you feel that you have anything to offer to a woman?? I get the feeling from your posts that you don't think that you do. I hope that you tell me that I'm wrong in my observation. I think that guys that are in your situation are very critical of themselves. Have you ever seen a guy that's not that great looking with a beautiful woman and ask yourself 'how did that happen?' Most guys probably think that he must have money. Well, there are women that are like that, but not all of us are. I can find the simpliest things about a man sexy and they don't involve his physique. I love a great smile, caring eyes, a sense of humor, a way that he makes you feel like you are the only woman in the room....I could go on and on. I've meet people before that I thought they were absolutely gorgeous until they opened their mouth, and I've meet people that I wasn't physically attracted to that once I spent time with them and got to know them that I only had eyes for them.

Hype, you need to find whatever it is inside of you that would make any woman glad that she met you. Once you feel confident about that, I think that you'll see a change with the how the opposite sex responds to you. :wink:
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As a guy, I probably shouldn't admit this.......but I sure was touched by this post.

Hope other shy guys get to see it too at some point.......and also pick up a thing or two from it.

To Hypestyle: I think most everyone (even the not-so-positive ones) imparted some words of wisdom here. To the extent possible, try taking heed to what they said.......and be strong, Bruh!
 
If I can find love....you can too....it might not happen overnight but you will. Even supermodels and studs have to wait for love...the only difference is that while they are waiting on that special person...they are going through a bunch of relationships that lead to nowhere...while shy guys...guys that are just reserved...or even men that just happen to be a little bit too busy for a relationship...go home alone.
 
fromdc_withlove said:
As a guy, I probably shouldn't admit this.......but I sure was touched by this post.

Hope other shy guys get to see it too at some point.......and also pick up a thing or two from it.
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Thanks, fromdc_withlove. I was just telling Hype what was on my heart, and it makes me feel good to know that you were touched by it too. I appreciate your kind words. :smt058
 
GirlieGirl74 said:
Thanks, fromdc_withlove. I was just telling Hype what was on my heart, and it makes me feel good to know that you were touched by it too. I appreciate your kind words. :smt058
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I read your post and it made me cry. I feel like you can truly relate to Hype through some kind of experience in your life. I am happy, however, that you have found a positive way to overcome. I think we have all been there from time to time, feeling rejected, lost and lonely. Very good advice GG. We would all do better to follow!
To Hype:
When you least expect it, that someone will come along. I'm also single, but I believe if I'm truly happy with myself, someone will want to share that happiness with me. Keep your chin up!
 
Chat room

Anyone interested in going to the chat room for a casual conversation lol. I'm a blackman with question only a white woman can answer lol really:confused:!
 
Hypestyle said:
I'm in the southeast michigan area, I consider myself in the market for a girlfriend, but, well, I tend to have a lot of anxiety in social situations, I was a "nerd" as a kid, girls weren't into me..
needing tips for meeting folks, trying to get out of depression, etc. :?
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hey hype, i didn't have the time to read all the thread, but i think that some of the suggestions that guys gave u r quite good.
And hey, u should put your messenger here, or myspace if u have it. I made some friends like that! :)
And a "cultural" date like a museum is good for me! It makes u different from other guys :)
Good luck! :)
 
dont worry, im 14 and preggo. i had never had a bf before i met monte and look what happened! lol. u dont need previous experience for this type of thing. just be confident.
 
ronny said:
dont worry, im 14 and preggo. i had never had a bf before i met monte and look what happened! lol. u dont need previous experience for this type of thing. just be confident.
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:)

wow, um.. i'm not trying to get anybody pregnant, that's for sure.. :cool:

..Final Four weekend here in town... thousands of people coming from out of town, elsewhere... any number of special event parties & concerts going on.. lots of opportunities to meet & greet.. we'll see..
 
I haven't had a girlfriend either but not because I'm afraid to approach a woman (I am also introverted but I could if I really wanted to). I don't want a girlfriend. I like the freedom of not having to impress someone else, I can just be myself. I value solitude/privacy.

Edit: I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering from depression/social anxiety, that upsets me. I'd give you some advice if I were a professional but I'm not. Maybe you should consider seeing a counselor.
 
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For a person who is reticent it is going to be a real bummer. I'm a bit shy myself but open up when the event arises. I don't mind a girlfriend since being in solitude is just not good. Wished there are many more assertive WW. Seek a professional and hope you can get out of this black hole,pardon the pun.
 
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