Black women who interracial date?

[flaminghetero]

I really don't know why there seems to be some natural attraction between white women and black men.

My opinion is that black women and white men are the cornerstones of their respective "races". For white men, they hold political power, while black women pretty much own what we call "black culture". I think that black women are much more into "blackness" than black men as a whole. Most "black" movies are geared towards black women, as are black books. When going to a book store, the "African American lit" section (and maybe because of white racism too) is full of "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" romances.

Under this sort of cultural mindset, black men (particularly the "successful" ones) become trophies. And they hate to see white women with "their" trophies. Remember that lady who temporarily posted here and released the book "Black Women Need Love Too"? This is emblematic of that mindset of black men as trophies for "deserving" black women. They invent (or steal from white men) notions of racial purity, rebuilding the black family and community (nothing wrong with building the black family and community per se, but using it as an excuse to keep black men from dating outside their race is wrong as there are far greater reasons for the strife in the black community, but that is for a different post), and "black pride", and stuff as dumb as "So you think your mother is ugly?" to prevent it.

And because black women own "blackness" and revel in it much more, they close themselves off to white men because to them, it is a contradiction to be pro-black and to date/marry a white man at the same time. White men are much the same way as white men seemingly own "whiteness". When black women finally let go with their obsession with "blackness" (and white men "whiteness"), relationships will go up even more.

Complete horseshit.

If BW were so busy revelling in Blackness THEY'D BE EQUALLY CRITICAL OF BW THAT DATE WM as they are BM/WW.

C'mon now.

We ALL heard BW near and dear to us all the way to the complete stranger say:

"Chile imma' get me a white man so I can have purdy babies"

That's hardly revelling in black pride.

WM and BW are fucking like never before..you just don't see it because WM don't have to take them out in public in order to fuck them ..they can just screw them at work or on Campus.

At least WW don't sex men that are ashamed to be seen with them.

Park down the street and honk your horn at your white girlfriend and see if she runs behind your car like a dog.

I doubt it.

 

[havoc]

Apparently BM/WM relationships are more common. I think it has more to do with social taboos & social misconceptions than anything else. In addition to that, location might have quite a bit to do with it.

Taken from CNN:

Nearly three quarters of the 403,000 black-white couples in 2006 involved black husbands.

Census data showed 117,000 black wife-white husband couples in 2006, up from 95,000 in 2000.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/personal/08/06/interracial.dating.ap/index.html

 

[csbean]

re

I have two black female friends who date white men.

Some people make good points in this post, but I'm not particularly keen on the bm and ww who are patting each other on the back for being the more "desirable" individual of their race/sex. The insinuation of the desperate black woman who needs a black man because the white man is inferior is terribly racist. As is the ww as a trophy who shuns her own race to be with a bm.

Statements like this do nothing to help revolutionize race relations. It instead implies a desire to conquer one's oppressor only to become an oppressor oneself.

I hate meeting bm who desire to date ww as a means of "sticking it to the man."

 

[rinnaye]

I have two black female friends who date white men.

Some people make good points in this post, but I'm not particularly keen on the bm and ww who are patting each other on the back for being the more "desirable" individual of their race/sex. The insinuation of the desperate black woman who needs a black man because the white man is inferior is terribly racist. As is the ww as a trophy who shuns her own race to be with a bm.

Statements like this do nothing to help revolutionize race relations. It instead implies a desire to conquer one's oppressor only to become an oppressor oneself.

I hate meeting bm who desire to date ww as a means of "sticking it to the man."

Well, I didn't expect to be attacked for my statements, but if you look to the facts, and statistics, then you'll see they pretty much speak for themselves, in regards to my comments as to who may be the most desirable in our respective races, for if it were the other way around, then wouldn't there be more WM/BW relationships over WW/BM ones? No patting on the back required in order to reach my conclusion dear. :roll:

 

[Tinkerbell]

Well, I didn't expect to be attacked for my statements, but if you look to the facts, and statistics, then you'll see they pretty much speak for themselves, in regards to my comments as to who may be the most desirable in our respective races, for if it were the other way around, then wouldn't there be more WM/BW relationships over WW/BM ones? No patting on the back required in order to reach my conclusion dear. :roll:

For the record I didn't think it sounded at all like you were patting yourself on the back. I think if you were to study traditionally masculine traits/roles vs. traditionally feminine traits/roles you would probably find a lot of truth in your statements.

I have watched Black women treat white men and black men in ways I could NEVER treat a man. There has been a demanding, and very harsh tone, that I don't think they mean that way at all, and their men seem to know that, they're cool with it, but really the women seem more like the man in the relationship, I'm not talking about in an argument or something like that. I've known some white women who lean in that direction, but I have never seen them act that way in public to their men.

 

[Leksola]

It's not worth analyzing, people are entitled to do their own and more power to them. I wish I saw more bw with wm though it's not overly uncommon where I live.

I get extremely bored with any black men (well I'm not single anyway) who try to pick me up by dissing black women. Eugh. Instant turn off.

I believe in spreading positive vibes, not negative. If someone feels they have really been mistreated, well that's a story for a different day when we are close and in love. And even then, I don't want to hear him extrapolate it across every black woman.Admittedly I have lived in Denver for some time, and know the culture and dynamic in the states is different, but its not excuse in my book.

I have an awesome time in Africa with my boyfriends cousins, Aunties and friends and they are loving, opening and accepting and I'm glad even though he is with a white girl, he holds his respect for them high.

It's crucial, because if we have a daughter or even a son, I need to have good relationships and be comfortable with everybody so he can have strong, black female role models. Whichever way I look at it, I just can't provide that.

It makes me proud he is that way and I would think less of a man who couldn't do the same.

 

[Leksola]

I have two black female friends who date white men.

Some people make good points in this post, but I'm not particularly keen on the bm and ww who are patting each other on the back for being the more "desirable" individual of their race/sex. The insinuation of the desperate black woman who needs a black man because the white man is inferior is terribly racist. As is the ww as a trophy who shuns her own race to be with a bm.

Statements like this do nothing to help revolutionize race relations. It instead implies a desire to conquer one's oppressor only to become an oppressor oneself.

I hate meeting bm who desire to date ww as a means of "sticking it to the man."

Agreed.
I think we are on the same wave length.

 

[havoc]

I have two black female friends who date white men.

Some people make good points in this post, but I'm not particularly keen on the bm and ww who are patting each other on the back for being the more "desirable" individual of their race/sex. The insinuation of the desperate black woman who needs a black man because the white man is inferior is terribly racist. As is the ww as a trophy who shuns her own race to be with a bm.

Statements like this do nothing to help revolutionize race relations. It instead implies a desire to conquer one's oppressor only to become an oppressor oneself.

I hate meeting bm who desire to date ww as a means of "sticking it to the man."

SAY IT AGAIN!

 

[havoc]

Well, I didn't expect to be attacked for my statements, but if you look to the facts, and statistics, then you'll see they pretty much speak for themselves, in regards to my comments as to who may be the most desirable in our respective races, for if it were the other way around, then wouldn't there be more WM/BW relationships over WW/BM ones? No patting on the back required in order to reach my conclusion dear. :roll:

I didn't think you were being attacked as much as you were being called for an illogical fallacy. FYI, I'm not attacking you here, either.

The problem with your conclusion is that you made a statement that isn't backed up by "facts" or statistics. Just because some of us see more BM/WW relationships doesn't mean that BW are less desirable. There is no correlation between a black woman's attractiveness and a BM/WW relationship. There are a variety of social reasons that do more to speak to the discrepancy than your non sequitur logic. :smt009

For the record, there are more BM/BW relationships than there are BM/WM. By your logic, I should assume that WW are less attractive than BW because they aren't pulling BM like BW are.

 

[rinnaye]

For the record I didn't think it sounded at all like you were patting yourself on the back. I think if you were to study traditionally masculine traits/roles vs. traditionally feminine traits/roles you would probably find a lot of truth in your statements.

I have watched Black women treat white men and black men in ways I could NEVER treat a man. There has been a demanding, and very harsh tone, that I don't think they mean that way at all, and their men seem to know that, they're cool with it, but really the women seem more like the man in the relationship, I'm not talking about in an argument or something like that. I've known some white women who lean in that direction, but I have never seen them act that way in public to their men.

Thanks Friend!

Your posts are always so refreshing.

I didn't think you were being attacked as much as you were being called for an illogical fallacy. FYI, I'm not attacking you here, either.

The problem with your conclusion is that you made a statement that isn't backed up by "facts" or statistics. Just because some of us see more BM/WW relationships doesn't mean that BW are less desirable. There is no correlation between a black woman's attractiveness and a BM/WW relationship. There are a variety of social reasons that do more to speak to the discrepancy than your non sequitur logic. :smt009

Pfft!

Since when does an opinion(s) on a message board need to be backed up with statistical evidence? If you can't take hearing the many different opinions of others, then maybe this is not the place for you, because, that's what happens here, we give our opinions. Some may agree, and others may not. Oh well! So now, will you please enlighten us with a little proof to your claim, and back it up with "facts", regarding the "variety of social reasons" that does speak to this "discrepancy?" Or else you too may run the risk of using "non sequitur logic", or be guilty of having an "illogical fallacy" of your own.

Thanks.

 

[Leksola]

Rinnaye, you started it.

You said

if you look to the facts, and statistics.

I'll say it again, any man who can trash bw, or any whole group of people so readily, is a write off in my book.

I'm in the corner with havoc and cs.

How, as a white woman, can I expect to build strong relationships with black women- in order to give our children strong black female role models- cos lets face it, I can't do that- if my man was dismissive of them?

Tink, how can you make a conclusion based on some of your simply individual observations? Please don't come back and quote how many times you have seen it.

People are so diverse. Every single one deserves judgement on their own merits.

 

[malikom]

How, as a white woman, can I expect to build strong relationships with black women- in order to give our children strong black female role models

Why do your children need to have black female role models.I mean,shes just as much white,as she is black,right?Why not white female role models?

:smt043

 

[rinnaye]

Rinnaye, you started it.

You said

if you look to the facts, and statistics.

I'll say it again, any man who can trash bw, or any whole group of people so readily, is a write off in my book.

I'm in the corner with havoc and cs.

How, as a white woman, can I expect to build strong relationships with black women- in order to give our children strong black female role models- cos lets face it, I can't do that- if my man was dismissive of them?

Tink, how can you make a conclusion based on some of your simply individual observations? Please don't come back and quote how many times you have seen it.

People are so diverse. Every single one deserves judgement on their own merits.

IMO, I'd interpret a U.S. Census on interracial couples, showing a majority WW/BM pairing, as one way of looking to the facts, and statistics, but that's just me. I didn't know I was hoping to be in your book. :roll:

Why do your children need to have black female role models.I mean,shes just as much white,as she is black,right?Why not white female role models?

:smt043

:smt038

 

[scylla]

Rinnaye, you started it.

You said

if you look to the facts, and statistics.

I'll say it again, any man who can trash bw, or any whole group of people so readily, is a write off in my book.

I'm in the corner with havoc and cs.

How, as a white woman, can I expect to build strong relationships with black women- in order to give our children strong black female role models- cos lets face it, I can't do that- if my man was dismissive of them?

Tink, how can you make a conclusion based on some of your simply individual observations? Please don't come back and quote how many times you have seen it.

People are so diverse. Every single one deserves judgement on their own merits.

I'm joining you.. Somehow I figured people who dates, acts or lives in a multi-cultural/racial context would be less prejudice or less prone to judge..

 

[rinnaye]

I'm joining you.. Somehow I figured people who dates, acts or lives in a multi-cultural/racial context would be less prejudice or less prone to judge..

Oh yeah, just like gays figured the majority of blacks wouldn't vote for Prop 8 here in California, but to their surprise, and disappointment, we did overwhelmingly. It may seem a bit arrogant of you, or the others to believe that the rest of us should agree with your POV's.

 

[scylla]

Oh yeah, just like gays figured the majority of blacks wouldn't vote for Prop 8 here in California, but to their surprise, and disappointment, we did overwhelmingly. It may seem a bit arrogant of you, or the others to believe that the rest of us should agree with your POV's.

Yeah, i'm so arrogant, assuming people to be OPEN MINDED about race on an IR-forum. Bad me, baaad me. I can't believe how stupid I am sometimes, I lol @ me, lol!

 

[Leksola]

Why do your children need to have black female role models.I mean,shes just as much white,as she is black,right?Why not white female role models?

:smt043

Correct, they are just as much 'black' as white. So both are important. But obviously, I can be a white female role model.

Sorry, I thought that was self explanatory.

Having said that, though, society, rightly or wrongly, still ends up regarding them as black for the most part. And it is important they have black female role models.

I mean it more broadly as well- my man is from a different culture to me, a different country. It is extremely important to me that the children have experience of that culture, language which is part of who someone is from both a male or female perspective since males and females will traditionally 'hold' different components of that culture. Obviously I have learnt about it and also been accepted, but I'm not deluded enough to think that's the same thing as growing up in the bosom of it.

 

[Leksola]

IMO, I'd interpret a U.S. Census on interracial couples, showing a majority WW/BM pairing, as one way of looking to the facts, and statistics, but that's just me. I didn't know I was hoping to be in your book. :roll:



:smt038

I'm not referring to you specifically, obviously because i don't make my points of view personal.

I'm just confused about the rationality of an argument that says "look at the fact and statistics" and then "I don't need facts and statistics".

 

[Tinkerbell]

I have watched Black women treat white men and black men in ways I could NEVER treat a man. There has been a demanding, and very harsh tone, that I don't think they mean that way at all, and their men seem to know that, they're cool with it, but really the women seem more like the man in the relationship, I'm not talking about in an argument or something like that. I've known some white women who lean in that direction, but I have never seen them act that way in public to their men.

Tink, how can you make a conclusion based on some of your simply individual observations? Please don't come back and quote how many times you have seen it.

I was referring to a cultural difference in the black women seeming to be more in control and the men who are with them being cool with that, I did not say it was a good or a bad thing. Some people prefer it that way. I don't want to be in control, I've had to be for way to long, and I want a strong man in my life. That's my preference and something that draws me to the BM that I am currently seeing.

If we cannot make conclusions, based on our personal observations, then how do we ever make conclusions on anything?I also did not say ALL BW were like that, I stated a personal observance.

Oh yeah, just like gays figured the majority of blacks wouldn't vote for Prop 8 here in California, but to their surprise, and disappointment, we did overwhelmingly. It may seem a bit arrogant of you, or the others to believe that the rest of us should agree with your POV's.

Yeah, i'm so arrogant, assuming people to be OPEN MINDED about race on an IR-forum. Bad me, baaad me. I can't believe how stupid I am sometimes, I lol @ me, lol!

Why is it that anyone who has an opinion is suddenly "closed minded"? Really Scylla, you are entitled to any opinions you want, and maybe in Europe things are different, but I think Rinnaye and I were simply stating our opinion of what we see in our lives here in America. Stating truth, or even perceived truth about a certain cultural difference in a specific race is not racism.

If you think over baring women and matriarchal homes are healthy homes, then that's fine, I've seen to many failures in such homes, I don't personally agree, nor do I think that such women make good role modes Lek.

You know what, I'm through walking on eggs with some of you, trying not to offend you, if you get upset or offended at something I say, I'm no longer going to try to explain that it was not at all intentional, I don't have time to do that every time I have an opinion, I'll state my opinion, and you take take it or leave it.

 

[gladiator423]

For the record I didn't think it sounded at all like you were patting yourself on the back. I think if you were to study traditionally masculine traits/roles vs. traditionally feminine traits/roles you would probably find a lot of truth in your statements.

I have watched Black women treat white men and black men in ways I could NEVER treat a man. There has been a demanding, and very harsh tone, that I don't think they mean that way at all, and their men seem to know that, they're cool with it, but really the women seem more like the man in the relationship, I'm not talking about in an argument or something like that. I've known some white women who lean in that direction, but I have never seen them act that way in public to their men.

You have definitely hit the nail on the head with this one, at least with me.

I find feminity very, very sexy. Some white women have that down to an art. They are NOT push overs or SUBMISSIVE in any way but they do have that feminity down. It comes off as being natural with some of them.

For me at least, that has always been a MAJOR, MAJOR part of my attraction to some white women.