Hi all!

Wow, thanks everyone for the greetings and compliments! It makes me feel much less anxious about coming in.

As for the guys in the girl's lockeroom, most of that isn't really what I'm looking for either; pretty much the best thread in there for me is the men in suits thread. I really, really love the way black guys look in suits, and can pretty much trace my fascination with good looking black guys back to when I was a kid and watched Detective Ed Green on Law and Order. Not that I hate big arms and defined abs, they're great and all, but they're not why I'm here or why I find myself attracted to black men personally.

I know a lot of my friends can certainly find black guys attractive too, or admit they seem nice and funny or anything else, but they just don't see them as potential dating partners. The same is true of white guys in most cases as well, so again it isn't usually racism. I think the best way I could put it is to imagine dating someone who doesn't speak the same language as you; you can often tell they're nice and cute and stuff, but for a lot of people that's a cultural gap you just can't get passed.

There is a bias towards high paying jobs, though. Like, I don't think my parents would care if I brought a white guy or a black guy home to meet them, but they'd definitely mind if he didn't have a good job or didn't at least seem to be headed there. That's something that most Chinese parents I know care a lot about.
 
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Jen, hang out and look at all the info outside of the locker rooms. Most people here are real people with flaws and interact well. occasionally some drama but not the norm..try it out and leave later if you aren't comfortable.
 
Welcome to the forum. The current set of active members should be more accepting than a past few.


*wonders if people will have a problem with the Asian women thread again*
 
Jenmonster said:
So I'm Jen, and it's probably worth noting that I'm Chinese, not white. I'm not sure if that's okay here; I tried finding a site that catered to asian women seeking black men, but that site doesn't exist, as far as I can tell! So here I am.

If this really isn't the place for me I can keep looking, but I'm not really finding a community for me. Either way, hello out there! :smt010
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black planet has quite a few Asian women on it, in the classifieds

i go there from time to time viewing Asian singles that like bm

i've been loving asian girls since i was 10 :smt026
 
Jenmonster said:
Well the first conclusion to jump to would be racism, but I don't think that's usually right (of course sometimes it is, as all groups have some people who are sometimes racist).

For me, the Chinese community I grew up with was very tightly knit. For example, my mother has lived for 30 years in the US now, and she has many "friends" at work who are not Chinese, but outside of work, she never spends time with these people; her real social circle outside of work consists of my dad (who is also Chinese), my sister and I (also Chinese, duh), and three friends who are all Chinese women.

This is really common, and part of the reason for it is that Chinese culture is just so different from American culture that many immigrants just never really adapt and stay nestled within the Chinese community. I've been to China many times, and even for me the culture shock is pretty huge.

So I'd say it's less racism and more just general xenophobia; most of my Chinese friends have formed a tight knit community that is kind of unwelcoming to outsiders of any kind, be they black or white or indian. Luckily for me my parents don't seem to mind the idea of me dating non-Chinese and non-Asian guys; they're okay with me exploring the outside world, they're just personally more comfortable staying inside the Chinese bubble (that's actually what we call it), and I think many girls, even younger ones like me, feel the same.
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I'm curious, are you a Cantonese or Mandarin speaker?
 
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