How do I get a white woman?

jaisee said:
Ok, maybe no picture.... that's cool. Here are my tips on how to get dates, but never find 'the one'.

The truth is a lot of the annoying cliche things that you hear are true. For example, 'swag'. A lot of men hear women mention Lil Wayne or 50 Cents 'swag' and try to emulate that. Swag to me means first finding yourself, second being comfortable with who you are, and finally being confident in yourself. Very cliche, I know... but hear me out. You want to attract women who are appropriate for your lifestyle. So if you project an image that is not you two things will happen. 1) You'll be exposed as fake, 2) You'll find yourself in frustrating situations with women who really are not a good match for you. The key here is confidence, people will pick up on that. Keep your head high, cause you're the shit. Have the mentality that if a woman turns you down, it's her loss not yours.

TRY not to take anything personal. Not rejection, not ridicule, nothing. If you approach a woman and she is not interested, it's merely a reflection of her own personal tastes. The common mistake that we make when rejected is to feel that we're not good enough for the other person, and then we begin to feel bad about ourselves. That is your ego at work. Don't let that happen... some people have in their mind so specific a description of the partner that they desire that they're blind to good men with good intentions, this is to their own disadvantage. As soon as you let rejection start to make you feel down about yourself, you begin to lose confidence and that is very easy to pick up on.

Paniro kinda touched on this earlier, but cast a wide net. Unless you're Irba Derba, the way dating works these days it's generally going to be an application process for men and a filtering process for women. Don't wait for the right one to come to you... that will happen either way. If you see someone that you like, approach her with confidence. Keep trying and keep trying and keep trying.... just don't take the rejection personal. If it starts to get to you and get you down, take a step back until you get your confidence back and get right back to it.

How do you approach women? Are you as stiff as a board? Are you robotic and calculated? Women are kinda like human beings too. Be flirtatious, charming, witty and funny... crack jokes (be appropriate and don't over-do it). Here's another mistake greenhorns make... be able to talk and keep up in the conversation. If you've just met someone, the last thing that you want is for them to become bored with you. You know when you talk to someone new and sometimes there's that moment of silence and you begin thinking to yourself "oh shit, I better come up with something to say".... then you say some witty shit like "So, whats your favorite color?" thinking she'll believe that you're interested in her likes and dislikes? Don't do that. Pay attention to her, if you see that she is tapping her foot to a song playing in the background, comment on that "Ok, I like your taste in music... I'm going to guess you also like <whatever>". Don't ask too many questions... it seems like you're trying too hard. "What do you do for fun?" "What's your favorite food?" "What do you do for work?" drop all of those. Keep your hands out of your pockets and don't cross your arms.... use hand gestures, but don't over-do it unless she's deaf and you're doing ASL. Uhm.... when you're ready to ask her out, don't say "Would you like to go to dinner with me?"... instead say "Cirque du Soleil is in town this week, I'd love to have your company to the show.... maybe after the show we can go back to my house and I can fingerbang you a little bit."

Oh, and don't be too complimentary... it comes across as disingenuous and also desperate. She is just as lucky to date you as you are to date her.

Most important thing. Tell pretty women they're smart, tell smart women they're pretty. Don't say anything to pretty & smart women, they've already heard it all.

Oh yeah, I don't know how many female friends you have, but make more.
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I have to spread the love before I rep Jaisee again.

If anyone is telling you to listen to PUA's, ignore them. By the time women are in your age range, they've heard *all* the lines and then some, and a guy approaching with one smells like an asshole from a mile away.
 
Cloudkicker said:
If you had a girlfriend for only two weeks you my friend are doing something wrong and either know it or don't know it. Why did she leave and how did you meet her?
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She left because I wanted her to. To be honest when we started going out, I barely knew the girl from work. This was several years ago now. And also she was fat and unattractive. But I let her seduce me one night when giving me a ride home. So I took her because at the time I never had a girl before and I wanted some dating experience. But I shouldn't have because after the second day of the relationship, she was a b!t@h! She would start arguments, yell, storm off on temper tantrums, and also tell me of how her best friend would always talk about me behind me back while smiling to my face. We even had an argument on my 21st birthday, because she was flirting with my friend and I didn't even get any that night. The whole time we were together, we only had sex two and a half times. She was moody and hypocritical. She was very sensitive but criticized me for my sensitivity. Anyway, at first she initially broke it off with me because she admitted we had some disagreements and too many arguments. However even after we were broken up, she still treated it like a relationship. She still flirted with me, kissed me, and I'm pretty sure we still slept together too. But the arguing and moodiness continued, and I was still pissed about her flirting with my friend, so then I told her that I strictly just wanted to be friends. But a few days after that we stopped speaking altogether.

I see your point and that makes sense now. It's actually been a few years since I've tried to talk to a woman in terms of anything past casual conversation. The reason I did that in high school and in my first years on my own is because I'm not too good at approaching a stranger that I don't know in public and trying to get their number. I tried that before and it didn't work out too well. So I'd mostly talk the girls I knew from work or school, because I knew them and had an excuse to talk to them. And there also seems to be alot of social stigma around men trying to "pick up" women in public. Up until about a year or two ago, I was young and naive and I did accidently reveal too much of myself. But now I know better and I don't talk about relationships or ask advice from anyone about relationships in real life, especially at work or school because I don't want to become "that guy" as I mentioned before.

I don't know about keeping my standards average, because why settle for someone who I don't want? I mean look at what happened when I did that before. Now as opposed to the past, in real life I don't talk about dating at all. I try not to even think about it, but it keeps coming back to my mind. Hopefully when I start school next month, I'll be too busy to think about not having a woman. Alot of ppl at my work always talk about their relationships and I try not to even listen, or just walk away. Some ppl have asked me if I'm seeing anyone, but I usually lie and tell them that I'm talking to someone or have some prospects so it doesn't sound like I'm the only one at the job who has no one.


Good point. But in high school my best friend and most of my friends since then were macks when it came to women. I tried to copy his style, but didn't work for me.


This is absolutely true. I've been to Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and South America, and in all of these places guys tell me if you're American, and specifically if you're African American, it's so easy to get girls. But like you said, everywhere you go you have to pursue.
 
QMark said:
She left because I wanted her to. To be honest when we started going out, I barely knew the girl from work. This was several years ago now. And also she was fat and unattractive. But I let her seduce me one night when giving me a ride home. So I took her because at the time I never had a girl before and I wanted some dating experience. But I shouldn't have because after the second day of the relationship, she was a b!t@h! She would start arguments, yell, storm off on temper tantrums, and also tell me of how her best friend would always talk about me behind me back while smiling to my face. We even had an argument on my 21st birthday, because she was flirting with my friend and I didn't even get any that night. The whole time we were together, we only had sex two and a half times. She was moody and hypocritical. She was very sensitive but criticized me for my sensitivity. Anyway, at first she initially broke it off with me because she admitted we had some disagreements and too many arguments. However even after we were broken up, she still treated it like a relationship. She still flirted with me, kissed me, and I'm pretty sure we still slept together too. But the arguing and moodiness continued, and I was still pissed about her flirting with my friend, so then I told her that I strictly just wanted to be friends. But a few days after that we stopped speaking altogether.

I see your point and that makes sense now. It's actually been a few years since I've tried to talk to a woman in terms of anything past casual conversation. The reason I did that in high school and in my first years on my own is because I'm not too good at approaching a stranger that I don't know in public and trying to get their number. I tried that before and it didn't work out too well. So I'd mostly talk the girls I knew from work or school, because I knew them and had an excuse to talk to them. And there also seems to be alot of social stigma around men trying to "pick up" women in public. Up until about a year or two ago, I was young and naive and I did accidently reveal too much of myself. But now I know better and I don't talk about relationships or ask advice from anyone about relationships in real life, especially at work or school because I don't want to become "that guy" as I mentioned before.

I don't know about keeping my standards average, because why settle for someone who I don't want? I mean look at what happened when I did that before. Now as opposed to the past, in real life I don't talk about dating at all. I try not to even think about it, but it keeps coming back to my mind. Hopefully when I start school next month, I'll be too busy to think about not having a woman. Alot of ppl at my work always talk about their relationships and I try not to even listen, or just walk away. Some ppl have asked me if I'm seeing anyone, but I usually lie and tell them that I'm talking to someone or have some prospects so it doesn't sound like I'm the only one at the job who has no one.


Good point. But in high school my best friend and most of my friends since then were macks when it came to women. I tried to copy his style, but didn't work for me.


This is absolutely true. I've been to Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and South America, and in all of these places guys tell me if you're American, and specifically if you're African American, it's so easy to get girls. But like you said, everywhere you go you have to pursue.
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Omg my ovaries hurt right now. Dude you gotten toughen up a little I'm not even a chick and you're turning me off. You might need to find a hobby and build some confidence first. Women smell weakness like a dog smells fear brotha.

#Oprahmoment
#realtalkakatarshi
 
karmacoma. said:
Is a message board the place to learn to do it?
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Sometimes it is easier than embarrassing yourself to friends by showing how not in the know you are. I had a gf who asked me if I had ever squirted......when I told her, she asked if I could teach her. :smt043 I was like hmmm.
 
JordanC said:
Sometimes it is easier than embarrassing yourself to friends by showing how not in the know you are. I had a gf who asked me if I had ever squirted......when I told her, she asked if I could teach her. :smt043 I was like hmmm.
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You can explain that, but ah..it's something she really needs to experience for herself LOL.

Women still dont talk too much about that among ourselves. For more than a decade I thought I didn't personally know any other women who could.
 
QMark said:
She left because I wanted her to. To be honest when we started going out, I barely knew the girl from work. This was several years ago now. And also she was fat and unattractive. But I let her seduce me one night when giving me a ride home.
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You didn't do anything wrong. It was an experience and while a crappy one hopefully you don't regret it because you learn from every experience.

Looks are a factor in dating...its your personality that determine if its a big factor or little one. That is why everyone is asking for a picture. Its a gauge to what were working with lol. I think this is the place to open-up so that you can be more successful. I dont think anyone is here to hurt you. not that I think :smt085

It's actually been a few years since I've tried to talk to a woman in terms of anything past casual conversation. The reason I did that in high school and in my first years on my own is because I'm not too good at approaching a stranger that I don't know in public and trying to get their number. I tried that before and it didn't work out too well. So I'd mostly talk the girls I knew from work or school, because I knew them and had an excuse to talk to them. And there also seems to be alot of social stigma around men trying to "pick up" women in public.
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If your up to it... go to a strip club every 2 weeks or month and if your worried about being notice go to one out of town and no not to look at tits. This is a place were women will come to you. Dont bother falling in love or blowing your paycheck...you need a maximum of 20 dollars (hey better than blowing it on a PUA or crappy date). Why a strip club? You don't need to be embarrass cause everyone is there to see the same thing. You will be interacting with pretty women and that fear will wear-off. Once you start talking to naked women...women with cloth on should be a breeze :smt067

You grew up not being socially interactive so you have to start changing and develop your social skills. Talk to women as you do guys..the only difference is women have different interest than guys. Start honing your social skills at work and school. Just smile and make eye contact, smell good. "TRUST ME SMELL GOOD":smt042

Wash your clothes with Tide and have a minimum of 3 good colognes

Say Hello or good bye to every one you interact with

Never wear a watch..ask for the time from strangers from guys and girls.

Ask about homework from classmates.

Have nice shoes..doesn't matter if you like sneakers, boots, flip-flops it is your foundation and women will look at it.. keep laces clean and so on.

Dont ask for her number ask for her email as it gives you time to think and respond.

As far as picking up women in public as a social stigma, forget about it. I remember in my psychology class 5 smoking hot students were asked to stand up in from of the class. They were all asked a series of questions. The question basically were geared to dating and out of 4 they said men never ask them out because they were too pretty and they feared rejection or thought they were with someone already. Women like to know they are good earth magnets to guys and girls so talk to them.

Up until about a year or two ago, I was young and naive and I did accidently reveal too much of myself. But now I know better and I don't talk about relationships or ask advice from anyone about relationships in real life, especially at work or school because I don't want to become "that guy" as I mentioned before.
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Yeah...any info about you at work is deadly.

I don't know about keeping my standards average, because why settle for someone who I don't want? I mean look at what happened when I did that before.
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As far as standards and above average...Always seek for the above average no doubt..but in the same retrospect why play a game on max difficulty. Try the game on the novice level as you say your experience is very minimal..then I will go up a few notches. Thats solely my opinion. I never said go below your average or someone you dont like. Next thing you know your with a nine and your self esteem will be put to test.

Hopefully when I start school next month, I'll be too busy to think about not having a woman. Alot of ppl at my work always talk about their relationships and I try not to even listen, or just walk away. Some ppl have asked me if I'm seeing anyone, but I usually lie and tell them that I'm talking to someone or have some prospects so it doesn't sound like I'm the only one at the job who has no one.
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What state are you in or city if you dont mind?

Funny at my job everyone thinks me being single is awesome. But thank god you dont date anyone at work as your sexual life, what you do and dont do would spread like wildfire. Best thing to say is im too busy to find a woman..or your focusing on school.

Good point. But in high school my best friend and most of my friends since then were macks when it came to women. I tried to copy his style, but didn't work for me.
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You have to find your own thing...but you need to really observe whats going on and copy what suits your personality.
 
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Another good option, instead of asking a woman for a number, offer yours. And don't stand there until she puts it in her phone. If you ask for a number, don't immediately put it in your phone and call to see if it's the right number.

That's creepy as hell, and puts the woman on the spot - not a good way to make her think well of you. Be easy.

And learn to flirt, which I think might be the core of your problem. I'm betting you've run across women who were giving you signals you didn't recognize, and that you just didn't flirt back because you haven't learned how to do so. The guys are probably much better to ask the specifics of *how* to flirt.
 
JordanC said:
Sometimes it is easier than embarrassing yourself to friends by showing how not in the know you are. I had a gf who asked me if I had ever squirted......when I told her, she asked if I could teach her. I was like hmmm.
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JordanC and squirting in the same sentence is unreal. :rolleyes:
 
The Dark Knight said:
Omg my ovaries hurt right now. Dude you gotten toughen up a little I'm not even a chick and you're turning me off. You might need to find a hobby and build some confidence first. Women smell weakness like a dog smells fear brotha.

#Oprahmoment
#realtalkakatarshi
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Ki$$ my @$$ then. Well if I'm turning you off I guess that means you're gay. I got hobbies and I got confidence, maybe not when it comes to women, but I got it. I was just responding to your post because you made some interesting points, but whatever.
 
I haven't read all the replies, but it's really hard out here in the single world. I mean some people love the freedom and having the option to date, fuck whoever and whenever they want. I personally hate it. Yeah, you meet different people and it's exciting, especially when it rains it pours, but the quality of some of these single people, sucks.

It's just a matter of taking risks and see where the gamble takes you.

Good luck to you.
 
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