How often do women get approached really?

[Taye]

I mean there are beautiful/sexy women that say that guys NEVER approach them cause their too intimidating :roll: Then their are women that say guys NEVER STOP talking/cat calling/hollering at they ass all damn day :lol: So where in lies the truth? I personally notice that most dudes stare/make comments and stuff but the majority of dudes are not going to just go over and talk to a beautiful women regardless of the situation.

 

[tuckerreed]

interesting question, i would like to know that too, because I never tried to approach a woman on the street or at a club

 

[PearlGirl]

Well, I can only speak for myself here.

And really, I don't mean to sound full of myself... I'm just telling it the way I see it and the way I have experienced things.

I have noticed that generally speaking, it depends on how I'm feeling. If I'm feeling good about myself and am generally in a good mood, I get way more attention. If I'm blue or not in a great mood, I must really put out a "stay away from me" vibe!!!

It's funny because for the longest time I was only noticing the black men that "check me out"... but that's probably because I was checking them out too! But then my g-friends pointed out to me that white guys look too, but they sometimes aren't as obvious about it and I wasn't noticing them because I wasn't looking at them! So, I've started paying attention and in fact, WM also "check me out" and smile at me and make eye contact. Now - sometimes I just don't get why a guy is looking at me - depending on what I'm wearing or how I'm feeling. I actually sometimes think that maybe I have a big booger hanging out of my nose or something!! hahaha

Now in terms of actually being "approached", well, I don't go out to clubs all that much, so that might make it a little more difficult to "be approached" I would think. I have been approached just walking down the street a few times this summer and also at my gym - everytime by a black man - but that's probably because of the fact that I cracked a big smile indicating that I was interested. (Unfortunately they ALL turned out to be looooosers! boooo )

BUT, I also have a profile up on a dating site and although it is clearly indicated in my profile that I am looking for a BM - the white boys can't seem to read and message me ALL the time!!! (well, I get an average of 2 messages per day from WM.) Now, of course... it is MUCH easier to "approach" someone online than in person!

I would say that on average I actually get approached in person about once per month - really not that often. But then again, I am extremely picky about who I find hot and do not give many men the "ok" to approach me!! But I guess some just have NO fear of rejection and so they do it anyways! You gotta admire that!

 

[SardonicGenie]

In my opinion, it's half-and-half. Just ask a few more attractive women, and you'll see...

and, good luck on finding your Taye or Wesley, Pearl... :wink:

or, LL, or Lexington, or Shemar, or whoever else...

 

[PearlGirl]

In my opinion, it's half-and-half. Just ask a few more attractive women, and you'll see...

and, good luck on finding your Taye or Wesley, Pearl... :wink:

or, LL, or Lexington, or Shemar, or whoever else...

THANKS SardonicGenie!

I'm lookin' for my Lex, for sure!! (Only... one who isn't a porn star!!)

:lol:

 

[alessandra]

Personally, I cannot speak for how many black men approach me as there aren't many in my area but men in general.....OMG.....it's like mosquitos!!!! (No offence men I couldn't think of any other analogy)

When I am with a friend walking there is ALWAYS men whistling or following us in their cars. Last friday we were approached four times in 1 hour. Maybe it is because I am 18 and these guys are mostly 17-23......but I mean I get approached alot.

This will sound so bad but I am sure it wouldn't be difficult to be with a new guy every night or 2 a night.....( I am not a slut but its true)


When I was in Quebec, which has more African men, I was approached all the time.

My boyfriend actually approached me as I was walking by a gas station from the grocery store!!! (The whole encounter is in the how you met section)

LOL......I was kinda obvious with him though.....constantly starring...lol

but with other guys it wasnt like that lol........

so yeah theres my story

 

[Taye]

When I am with a friend walking there is ALWAYS men whistling or following us in their cars.

where do you live alessandra? lol why do you think you get this much attention? and not to sound mean or anything but do the guys just holla at any women they see walking bye artyman: ? also when I mean approach I mean guys that actually go up and talk to you with intent :wink:

 

[nilan]

Pearlgirl and alessandra,

Thanks for very much for sharing that info. with us......it was quite informing. It also proves a theory of mine about a woman's body language.......

To elaborate what I meant by that last statement, I am a guy and I sometimes get approached by women, but the number of times I am approached are NO WHERE NEAR the average pretty woman's encounters. (IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT I TELL YOU :wink: )On the other hand, I get positive body signals from women indicating the green light to approach them on a weekly (or bi-weekly) basis showing that women who like you will let you know by body language and few are aggressive enough to approach you.

Here is a perfect example: I was on the train coming home from work and a woman sat diagnally to my right. I would catch her looking at me every couple of minutes or so (I was looking at her also, but would look elsewhere when she looked at me) after about 5 minutes of laser eye tag, our eyes gazed at each other simultaneously. We gazed at each other for a whole ten seconds......CAN YOU SAY GREEN LIGHT :smt003 . It was odd though because she did not smile, and had a serious look on her face. She walked over to me and asked me my ethnicity. I told her my ethnicity and she says that for a man, I am very pretty. She gave me her number and we still talk on AOL once every blue moon. To make a long story short, she was not girlfreind material to say the least....

Anywho, I think it is safe to say that MOST women give you body language to show attraction, SOME don't because they are shy, and VERY FEW actually have the guts to walk up to you. The old laser eye tag is the X-factor. If they lock eyes with you, that's a green light.

 

[Moskvichka]

I have to agree, locking eyes would be a sure signal from a woman. I was once at a club and this man came in, he turned out to be Haitian but I thought he was African, well whatever he was hot and it was in a club so I gave him the sexiest stare I could master. He looked back at me like, I see you! Later, when I forgot all about him, he approached me on the dance floor and we danced and made out.

Women get approached I guess depending on where they live and what they do. If you're walking down the street in a city and look okay, of course there will be people acknowledging your beauty. Serious, professional men are not as likely to do that. At a happy hour after work - sure, a professional man can strike a conversation, but it won't be an "approach" necessarily, he's just enjoying talking to a pretty woman.

I don't agree that you can't meet your soulmate at a club (I did!) or that it has to be a "decent" setting for it to work. I once met a guy at Times Square in a very decent setting, at a cafe during the day (again, I gave him a dreamy stare from the cafe window). He was professional, educated, a handsome Frenchman of African origin - and he wanted sex or at least a blow job on the first date! That was when I swore off black men, yes I admit it. I said to myself that they just don't take white girls seriously. Later I got over it, but that story left a very bad taste in my mouth.

I feel that no matter how strikingly beautiful you are, it's not easy to meet the right person. You have to be compatible in so many ways! The hardest thing to do, but I feel it's the right approach, is to be ready for all possibilities, but keep a cool head when it comes to casual encounters. Often, men "holler" at you but they're not trying to bed you or marry you! They are just being men. Smile, take it as a compliment and keep your ass moving. But, if there's something more there, you feel it's a possibility - then do your woman thing, put your best personality on and charm the hell out of him!

 

[nilan]

I have to agree, locking eyes would be a sure signal from a woman. I was once at a club and this man came in, he turned out to be Haitian but I thought he was African, well whatever he was hot and it was in a club so I gave him the sexiest stare I could master. He looked back at me like, I see you! Later, when I forgot all about him, he approached me on the dance floor and we danced and made out.

Thanks for your response Moskvichka,
:? Interesting...I learn something new about women everyday. It is so odd how some women can seem (notice I said seem) to turn their emotions on and off like a button, but other women cannot.....

What I mean is (correct me if I am wrong) you said you found a guy attractive at a club and stared to get his attention. Yeaaaaahhh

You later completely forgot about him.
:shock: WHAT?

Then, when he approaches you, you dance and make out. :?

For you to go from liking the guy to completely forgetting about him, then back to making out seems like an emotional roller coaster.

This is one of the reasons why I am extremely selective and carefully screen all girls that I talk to. I don't want a girl who would just make out with a guy on the dance floor. (No offense Moskvichka ) I like it when I am getting approached by the more conservative type girls, but the filtering process is a bitch. You are right that people have to be compatible on many levels, and there are so many women in the world.....it is truly blissful, the possibilities and all.

 

[Moskvichka]

emotional roller coaster.

I'm not offended at all Nilan, that incident had nothing to do with EMOTIONS, really. It was a CLUB, I was 22 and we were both single living the single lifestyle. I have since got married and, well, I don't go to clubs and make out with people anymore! Take other people on this board, like Laydeezmancris, who admits to having had one-night stands and fuck buddies, but is now in love and happily engaged. He has passed one stage of his life and moved on to another! (Or is there a double-standard here, eh? ) I have nothing but love for Cris, because I feel that a woman has no right to blame a man for lack of commitment or for not taking her seriously if she CHOOSES to be intimate with him regardless! Here is a terrific thought about COMMITMENT:

You can’t have true commitment without responsibility- responsibility to the relationship, to one’s partner and too oneself. Responsibility means a lot of things. It means not promising more than you can emotionally deliver and it also means not holding back emotions you are capable of giving. Being responsible is a promise to stay sensitive to your partner’s feelings, and it is an implicit agreement not to run away just because you got scared.
Finally a realistic attitude is essential to commitment. To be committed to someone means being able to dispense with fantasy and see and accept your partner’s faults, weaknesses and imperfections.

ACTING OUT THE COMMITMENT DILEMMA

Everyone that has a conflict between freedom and commitment- and fails to understand how that conflict reveals itself in his or her life- runs the risk of sabotaging every single romantic relationship. If you don’t understand what you feel or how those feelings are affecting your behaviour, you will probably find yourself acting out you ambivalence.
This means that you will almost certainly find yourself in a series of relationships that never seem to work out.

THE MALE- FEMALE DIFFERENCE

Acting out commitment conflicts is just one more thing that men and women sometimes do differently.
“It takes two to dance”. A woman may feel more like a victim of a man with commitment problems than a perpetrator, but if she is involved with him, she is still dancing, and she is still participating. Her willingness to do so can reveal a great deal about her own issues with commitment.

Whether you are a man or a woman, unresolved commitment conflict reveals themselves in a myriad of ways. They are written in pour fantasies and in our expectations, in our dreams and in our nightmares, they show in the relationships we start and the relationships we avoid.

The reasons why so many of your relationships have failed aren’t out there somewhere in the ether; they are right here- within you. And chances are, unresolved commitment conflicts have a great deal to do with it.

 

[alessandra]

hey yeah....i live in a place with tourists so most people want a weekend thing.......and the partiers are mainly 17-23 as i stated above. We meet college or university students, construction workers, mechanics, musicians, actors, models, dancers (not kidding), BMXers, dirt bikers, basketball and hockey players,entrepreneurs, last weekend we met firefighters and landscapers......and the weekend before we met a guy who owned a restaurant and 1 pro and 1 amatuer skatboarder!!!!!! It is pretty cool the ppl who u can meet. We don't meet professionals but that doesnt matter....mostly athletes, performers, students, labourers or entrepreneurs. It's cool.....I actually prefer these men to professionals. My boyfriend is a poet......lol......it'ss cool. SO yeah theres my response....

 

[alessandra]

All the guys we encounter and chill with talk to us. We NEVER approach.....unless for me its a black man I cant stop staring I am too obvious......but last weekend we got ditched by some of our friends and i was yelling into the payphone and the two firefighters came up to us while i was yelling!!!!!!!!! It's ridiculous......the skateboarders we met while we were walking down the street...they had just gotten out when we walked by.....so yeah. (Just for clarification I do not do anything with these guys. I am in a committed happy relationship lol.....sorry just wanted to make sure).....We actually met a guy from Jamaica on Saturday...lol...he was cute(dont tell my bf)

 

[Seychelles]

Moskvichka, I greatly appreciated your post about commitment. It rings so much truth in it.
As for being approached, I don't know what relevance does this have, but I ...never get approached . Oh yes, once this year this guy just appeared out of the blue and followed me all the day home, scaring me to death.
I've been told I'm not "approachable".....what can I say, I know I'm not.

 

[Moskvichka]

Thanks Seychelles, and guess where I found that quote - at a forum for Other Women, Unfaithful Wives, etc - all wrong kinds of women. This post was shared by a former Unfaithful Wife (and she might have very well been the one who composed it, she's that bright). You might have read some old threads when I shared how I fell in love a few months ago and went through a hell of a struggle with myself to stay faithful. I did, and cut contact with the wannabe Other Man. But it was on that forum that this particular lady helped me with her advice. I later thanked her.

It's so easy to judge people in a certain situation when you're not in it. And then you find yourself torn... and your own mind laughs at you.

 

[Seychelles]

Thanks Seychelles, and guess where I found that quote - at a forum for Other Women, Unfaithful Wives, etc - all wrong kinds of women. This post was shared by a former Unfaithful Wife (and she might have very well been the one who composed it, she's that bright). You might have read some old threads when I shared how I fell in love a few months ago and went through a hell of a struggle with myself to stay faithful. I did, and cut contact with the wannabe Other Man. But it was on that forum that this particular lady helped me with her advice. I later thanked her.

It's so easy to judge people in a certain situation when you're not in it. And then you find yourself torn... and your own mind laughs at you.

I didn't know about this thing you went through......
I really think you can't be harsh when its about how people feel , there is no right or wrong , only what feels right for you.
I've seen how easy it is for people to judge you not only when they aren't in the situation, but even when they have been in the same situation !!! They so quickly forget that .
Another interesting thing that I see going on a lot lately, women who are in crap relationships, where the guy is near commanding them how to breath, who are so outspoken and loud in saying Oh that guy doesnt treat you right! for so minor and individual things it makes you laugh when you know they take crap daily and are even happy about it.....if i would accept close to anything just to be with a guy / a particular guy, I really wouldnt open my mouth to judge others and tell them whats right or wrong.

 

[SardonicGenie]

Here I am again, jumping in the middle of a thread.

Whether you are a man or a woman, unresolved commitment conflict reveals themselves in a myriad of ways. They are written in pour fantasies and in our expectations, in our dreams and in our nightmares, they show in the relationships we start and the relationships we avoid.



The reasons why so many of your relationships have failed aren't out there somewhere in the ether; they are right here-within you. And chances are, unresolved commitment conflicts have a great deal to do with it.

It's so easy to judge people in a certain situation when you're not in it. And then you find yourself torn... and your own mind laughs at you.

 

[Be-you-tiful86]

As some ladies have pointed out I also get more attention from men when I'm happy and/or involved with someone already.
When we're happy that feeling from the inside shows on the outside too and is quite appealing.
I can't really complain about the amount of approaches.It definitely does happen but it's not like I am busy day and night turning guys down.Lol