How to date on Great Britain or the UK....

redlolly said:
Maybe you're just really,really over-generalising? That's not a criticism by the eay, I'm just saying.
For what it's worth my man and I live in different countries, and we met in a different country again where I was on holiday.
Maybe it will work out for us & maybe not, but we are trying to make it work, because it's what we both want.
It's difficult, for sure, and there are challenges to be overcome, but it's not all bad. There are great parts about it too.
We communicate really well, because we have to. We both know our time together is precious, so we don't waste a single moment of it.
Time apart is time to think of ideas. Things we can do together, little gift ideas, things we want to talk about or say, stuff like that.
I have never known a more considerate, thoughtful man. It's because we have that time and space to think. It forces us to not take each other for granted.
Maybe things won't work out for us, who knows. It's difficult sometimes for sure. But definitely not impossible.

The other thing I wanted to say is the best advice I was ever given is that 90% of attractiveness is the vibe you give off.
If your attitude and demeanour are negative, then you will unavoidably give off a negative vibe which will make you seem unattractive to others & turn them off before you even meet them. If you think and act and behave in a positive manner, your mood and body language will be positive, and so will the vibe you give off.
That positive vibe will make you more attractive to others, for sure.

Sorry if all this seems a bit preachy, I really don't mean it too. Nor is it meant in any way as a criticism.
I just hate negativity & defeatism is all, because they turn into self-fulfiulling prophecy. You have much more influence over some of these situations than you realise, and the way you approach them can have a big effect on the outcome.
I am a positive, glass-half-full person it's true, but I am 100% British, just for the record.
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Yes,it does take work and effort once you got into the relationship. When I speak to a woman I don't dwell on negativity. I like the woman to make the first move because I know she wants to know me. I don't want to make that move myself since there is instant disapointment. I one time went to a club in London and there no bold women there. Despite that I love Europe more than the US.
 
Soulthinker said:
I like the woman to make the first move because I know she wants to know me. I don't want to make that move myself since there is instant disapointment.
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Don't you think she feels exactly the same way?
It's the gentlemanly thing for the guy to make the first move.
I don't think that has anything to do with nationality.
 
redlolly said:
You may find there are girls who will make the initial approach to you, but I'd say they will be a small minority. It's something I and my single friends would never do. You must make the first move. Be polite, friendly & non-threatening and she will most likely be so flattered you are half way there already.

I have lost count of the occasions where I'll see a nice looking guy who I know is interested (we can tell, you know) and be just waiting for him to come over and say hi. That's the biggest thing which separates the guys who are successful with women from those who are not, in my opinion.
Please... just come over and say hi :)
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So, is there a reason that you wouldn't make the first move if you saw someone that you were interested in? Is it a fear of rejection?
 
K said:
Quite interesting.

You may have a tough time getting advice on here given that there are those who seem to believe the best opportunities to find ww would be in the countries you mentioned. I think they would be quite surprised to find that a Black man would have any difficulty in finding love in those countries.

You may want to do a search and read the many threads on this site that are specifically about Black men and non-American women. Maybe you will find some helpful information there.
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Those threads always go sideways, though. It tends to end up being about how American women are awful, then it goes into how all women are awful. Some of those threads should be under lock and key!
 
Since1980 said:
Those threads always go sideways, though. It tends to end up being about how American women are awful, then it goes into how all women are awful. Some of those threads should be under lock and key!
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Well yes hon and this is an old thread revived as well.

And right on que we have ST on here going on.
 
Since1980 said:
Lol okay...but is there a reason why? I'm not being snarky; I'm genuinely curious as to the thought process behind that decision.
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Because girls are raised that boys are supposed to make the first move. Even though you all would like it to be different, it's the way women are raised, even younger ones.
 
redlolly said:
Don't you think she feels exactly the same way?
It's the gentlemanly thing for the guy to make the first move.
I don't think that has anything to do with nationality.
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thank you for confirming this! There have been countless threads/discussions about how foreign (as in not from USA) women are different and are more likely to be aggressive towards men. Some of us have said that the couple of guys who keep this myth going are off base. In most cultures, men are expected to make the first move. There are a couple who think that if they go to another country then suddenly there will be women all over them. (where's that eye rolling smiley??)
 
redlolly said:
You may find there are girls who will make the initial approach to you, but I'd say they will be a small minority. It's something I and my single friends would never do. You must make the first move. Be polite, friendly & non-threatening and she will most likely be so flattered you are half way there already.

I have lost count of the occasions where I'll see a nice looking guy who I know is interested (we can tell, you know) and be just waiting for him to come over and say hi. That's the biggest thing which separates the guys who are successful with women from those who are not, in my opinion.
Please... just come over and say hi :)
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Here you go.
 
K said:
Because girls are raised that boys are supposed to make the first move. Even though you all would like it to be different, it's the way women are raised, even younger ones.
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It is changing over time, though. That is one tradition that I am glad to see go the way of the dinosaur.
 
K said:
yes I know you are.....I've been trying myself.
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If it helps, think of it like this: men like being approached by women for the same reasons that women like being approached by men. As a man all things being equal, if woman A waits for me to come up to her but woman B is willing to actually approach me and show some interest, woman B is going to win out every single time. Men love that kind of attention, too.
 
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Since1980 said:
Lol okay...but is there a reason why? I'm not being snarky; I'm genuinely curious as to the thought process behind that decision.
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K said:
Because girls are raised that boys are supposed to make the first move. Even though you all would like it to be different, it's the way women are raised, even younger ones.
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Yes. it speaks to chivalry, etiquette and good manners. An indication that a guy has been brought up right, to respect and treat women decently.

K said:
thank you for confirming this! There have been countless threads/discussions about how foreign (as in not from USA) women are different and are more likely to be aggressive towards men. Some of us have said that the couple of guys who keep this myth going are off base. In most cultures, men are expected to make the first move. There are a couple who think that if they go to another country then suddenly there will be women all over them. (where's that eye rolling smiley??)
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It's definitely a myth, and definitely off-base. To the best of my knowledge outside of US/European cultures women are likely to be less aggressive toward men, not more.
 
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Since1980 said:
If it helps, think of it like this: men like being approached by women for the same reasons that women like being approached by men. As a man all things being equal, if woman A waits for me to come up to her but woman B is willing to actually approach me and show some interest, woman B is going to win out every single time. Men love that kind of attention, too.
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That's too much of an oversimplification. All things are NOT equal. No two women are alike, nor are two men. No man is like a woman, and no woman is like a man lol.

It's very easy to take the feminist argument to absolute logical conclusion and say that gender equality is a double-edged sword and blah-blah-blah. But that takes no account of morality or any differences between the sexes. Like it or not those differences exist, and do have an impact on our social interactions.

Anyway... this discussion has drifted off topic a bit I think. Bottom line, if you want to pull one of us British birds you're most likely gonna have to go over and talk to her :)
 
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Since1980 said:
If it helps, think of it like this: men like being approached by women for the same reasons that women like being approached by men. As a man all things being equal, if woman A waits for me to come up to her but woman B is willing to actually approach me and show some interest, woman B is going to win out every single time. Men love that kind of attention, too.
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I agree. Experience teaches us (men) that we need to be ready to approach, but I take no issue with a woman approaching. It is nice when it happens, but I definitely know to not expect it.
 
Since1980 said:
If it helps, think of it like this: men like being approached by women for the same reasons that women like being approached by men. As a man all things being equal, if woman A waits for me to come up to her but woman B is willing to actually approach me and show some interest, woman B is going to win out every single time. Men love that kind of attention, too.
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No question I do. Woman B knows what she wants instead of reading a man's mind. Plus,there would be a plus because the attention she brings to that man. If that man is too shy for that then something is wrong with him.
 
In Britain you see the bold women who can party like the men do. No doubt some are bold enough to find that guy at a club,consert,or pub.
 
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