IR In Starbucks Blonde Roast Commercial

The Dark Knight said:
Thanks kid :D

I'm ok with me but it seems like others aren't sometimes lol.
Hey I have a personal question to ask.
Me and a friend got into a nasty argument about dating habits today. She basically said I need to get it together and settle down.
You ever get that pressure from friends and family? Seems like I'm hearing that more and more especially from friends who recently got married.
I don't know what it is but something that resonates to my very core tells me that's something that's not for me at least not now. Maybe at 40 but for now I enjoy being unattached. Is that selfish? Is that immature?
Just wondering if you ever get the same stuff thrown at you since I know you've been single for awhile.
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Tell your friend that "settle down" doesn't work on a time table - smh.
You cant force that shit.


Surely, you have dating issues to deal with - a lot of us do - but I am assuming you know what these are.
Being your age, doing what you do, no - its not selfish or immature. You are going to gradschool, focus on that.
Not saying that things can happen while you are in gradschool but you know it when you see it. I was in a relationship all the way through gradschool but its hard for a significant other if they dont have the same busy schedule and you should never be pressured into feeling bad about that. Never allow that! Ever. Too much work went into that and its something that will eventually be done with. If someone can not deal with that fact and not deal with the little time you will have during grad school, they are not supportive, if they cant see the big picture that you will eventually be done, forget about it.

I have never had pressure from friends or family (granted, I have mostly been in very long relationships) - perhaps from people that dont know me - being single by some people is weird - but unfortunately, sometimes focusing on your career may not be compatible w a relationship unless you find that one that is acutely aware.

You have plenty of time, dont worry about it. Just don't let time get away from you when you find that someone.
 
FG said:
Tell your friend that "settle down" doesn't work on a time table - smh.
You cant force that shit.


Surely, you have dating issues to deal with - a lot of us do - but I am assuming you know what these are.
Being your age, doing what you do, no - its not selfish or immature. You are going to gradschool, focus on that.
Not saying that things can happen while you are in gradschool but you know it when you see it. I was in a relationship all the way through gradschool but its hard for a significant other if they dont have the same busy schedule and you should never be pressured into feeling bad about that. Never allow that! Ever. Too much work went into that and its something that will eventually be done with. If someone can not deal with that fact and not deal with the little time you will have during grad school, they are not supportive, if they cant see the big picture that you will eventually be done, forget about it.

I have never had pressure from friends or family (granted, I have mostly been in very long relationships) - perhaps from people that dont know me - being single by some people is weird - but unfortunately, sometimes focusing on your career may not be compatible w a relationship unless you find that one that is acutely aware.

You have plenty of time, dont worry about it. Just don't let time get away from you when you find that someone.
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Thank you. I needed the pep talk.What's funny is most of my friends went to grad school and know the time constraints but everyone is so obsessed with age and doing things on a time table. It's like damn the universe will not implode if I have kids at 40 instead of 30 if at all.
People can be so weird sometimes.
 
The Dark Knight said:
Thank you. I needed the pep talk.What's funny is most of my friends went to grad school and know the time constraints but everyone is so obsessed with age and doing things on a time table. It's like damn the universe will not implode if I have kids at 40 instead of 30 if at all.
People can be so weird sometimes.
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Look, there is no shame in not having kids if you dont want to. I dont get that - just because you can, doesnt mean you should. Heck, many people who do, should not have them - at all!
Having kids at 40 today, is no anomaly - especially for men. You know there is no time table so just do you when it comes to that - get through gradschool and let the rest fall into place - Just be open when that woman comes along - you may not get a second chance at that.
If she is right, she will understand your time constraints while in gradschool..
 
FG said:
Look, there is no shame in not having kids if you dont want to. I dont get that - just because you can, doesnt mean you should. Heck, many people who do, should not have them - at all!
Having kids at 40 today, is no anomaly - especially for men. You know there is no time table so just do you when it comes to that - get through gradschool and let the rest fall into place - Just be open when that woman comes along - you may not get a second chance at that.
If she is right, she will understand your time constraints while in gradschool..
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True. I just don't have a moment to waste right now. Shit is insanely competitive and since I'm not in a top ten school I have to be in that top 1% of my class. That shit is no joke but hopefully when I'm done I can focus on that. Kind of wishing I hadn't spent so many years making music right now lol
 
The Dark Knight said:
True. I just don't have a moment to waste right now. Shit is insanely competitive and since I'm not in a top ten school I have to be in that top 1% of my class. That shit is no joke but hopefully when I'm done I can focus on that. Kind of wishing I hadn't spent so many years making music right now lol
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I dint go to grad school directly either - and I think that gives you and edge - your more driven than people that went directly. You will see that the people that drop out is never the people that came back after a few years. Its the people that went directly and probably just went through the motions and never reflected on it. You have. March on.

Not being in the top ten should not bother you, its less important in gradschool. Trust me on that. Nobody really looks at your GPA either in gradschool - its your project that count.
I had a GPA of 3.98 in gradschool and never was that EVER looked at, ever!!! - it was my projects and publications.
Make sure you get involved in as many projects you can handle - be very careful, dont overload (also look for projects that involve more than one professor - it can broaden you more than you imagine in terms of future publications) - and make sure they have an application to what you want to do specifically. Like I said before, If you can get involved in projects that entail management of some sort - if you can prove it on paper - its worth your extra time.
 
FG said:
I dint go to grad school directly either - and I think that gives you and edge - your more driven than people that went directly. You will see that the people that drop out is never the people that came back after a few years. Its the people that went directly and probably just went through the motions and never reflected on it. You have. March on.

Not being in the top ten should not bother you, its less important in gradschool. Trust me on that. Nobody really looks at your GPA either in gradschool - its your project that count.
I had a GPA of 3.98 in gradschool and never was that EVER looked at, ever!!! - it was my projects and publications.
Make sure you get involved in as many projects you can handle - be very careful, dont overload (also look for projects that involve more than one professor - it can broaden you more than you imagine in terms of future publications) - and make sure they have an application to what you want to do specifically. Like I said before, If you can get involved in projects that entail management of some sort - if you can prove it on paper - its worth your extra time.
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Damn FG I'm gonna need to start paying you. This is great info. Thanks kid :D
 
The Dark Knight said:
Damn FG I'm gonna need to start paying you. This is great info. Thanks kid :D
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No worries, I send the bill:-)

In essence, cross projects (more than one professor) will take a bit more work, but - that will spawn future publications in the future (never underestimate what can be done based on your work after you are done, more professors mean more graduate students using your work). Its like a contagious disease, the more you can affect, the more publications, the better - the more publications you will get. And that is what count once you graduate. And dont let your guard down, make sure you are aware of what work is being done based on your work so you dont get jiffed - it happens all the time. Dont trust the honor of anyone.

Also look into "impact factor" of journals, make sure you understand what journals expect and what counts for you - most graduate students get an understanding of this too late, make sure you understand this before you embark on projects. Research is not an end-all-be-all these days.

Once you have projects going, make sure you have an outline of what your next paper will need to be published, decide from there what you need to get done and work backwards to do the specific research - that way, you dont get stuck with 50% of your research not being published. Dont get stuck in an aimless random research loop - too may get stuck there.

This is on top of your big picture, which works differently, it may take you places you dont expect, be prepared for that. What I mentioned above is not the over all project, but the individual work within that project.
 
Went into Starbucks before class today. They actually have one on campus. Smdh. When I was walking in this really cute girl held the door for me. I was so taken aback by the" chivalry" lol I bought her coffee and mine. Her name is Allison and we're going out tonight. Update to follow.
 
The Dark Knight said:
Went into Starbucks before class today. They actually have one on campus. Smdh. When I was walking in this really cute girl held the door for me. I was so taken aback by the" chivalry" lol I bought her coffee and mine. Her name is Allison and we're going out tonight. Update to follow.
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Way to go, TDK! Taking wwbm.com from theory to practice. LOL!
 
The Dark Knight said:
Went into Starbucks before class today. They actually have one on campus. Smdh. When I was walking in this really cute girl held the door for me. I was so taken aback by the" chivalry" lol I bought her coffee and mine. Her name is Allison and we're going out tonight. Update to follow.
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good for you man! I wish you luck
 
The Dark Knight said:
Went into Starbucks before class today. They actually have one on campus. Smdh. When I was walking in this really cute girl held the door for me. I was so taken aback by the" chivalry" lol I bought her coffee and mine. Her name is Allison and we're going out tonight. Update to follow.
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Did she hold the door for you as you followed her into the store, or did she hold the door open and "usher" you into the store ahead of her? If it's the latter, that is a bit unusual, but not unheard of around here. If it was the former, that's just life as usual.
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
Did she hold the door for you as you followed her into the store, or did she hold the door open and "usher" you into the store ahead of her? If it's the latter, that is a bit unusual, but not unheard of around here. If it was the former, that's just life as usual.
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The latter. The first time I've ever seen a woman do that especially an attractive one her in NY. This is the kind of shit that goes a loooooooong way with a guy like me. I actually look forward to taking her out for a meal.
 
The Dark Knight said:
The latter. The first time I've ever seen a woman do that especially an attractive one her in NY. This is the kind of shit that goes a loooooooong way with a guy like me. I actually look forward to taking her out for a meal.
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Ok, that may be rare in NYC, but not so much here. It's not the norm, but I have seen it. People, in general, are pretty mannerly here.

As for the bolded part, why then, did you give me such a hard time when I said something like that goes a long way with me with a man??? Double standard! NOW you know why I like chivalry! It made you feel good when she opened the door for you. Like I said before, you won't find me battling a guy for a door handle. While I'm perfectly capable of opening it for myself, I love having it opened for me. Even if it's not a man I'm with - I like the respect and it makes me feel like a lady. Sometimes, the old school ways are still relevant and desirable.
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
Ok, that may be rare in NYC, but not so much here. It's not the norm, but I have seen it. People, in general, are pretty mannerly here.

As for the bolded part, why then, did you give me such a hard time when I said something like that goes a long way with me with a man??? Double standard! NOW you know why I like chivalry! It made you feel good when she opened the door for you. Like I said before, you won't find me battling a guy for a door handle. While I'm perfectly capable of opening it for myself, I love having it opened for me. Even if it's not a man I'm with - I like the respect and it makes me feel like a lady. Sometimes, the old school ways are still relevant and desirable.
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The difference is I don't require it or get annoyed when it doesn't happen. I just appreciate when it does.
 
orejon4 said:
I second TDK's motion.
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i'm jumping on this wagon

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Tonight was a lot of fun but it was totally a one and done. Nice girl but too young. I think my days of girls in their early 20s are over :-(
 
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