Is being a thickgirl a race thing?

[kenny_g]

This all proves my point about women with weight issues. The women here with weight issues get defensive, explaining their weight issues, making it acceptable to be overweight. They just do not do anything about it. But, I applaud the man who dates one, he is in for one hell of an emotional rollercoster ride. There are SO many issues with these women, what man would want to deal with it? If that makes me an wretch shallow pig, then so be it. I have the power to choose better! Do not try to make me feel bad because I have standards. STOP TRYING TO OPPRESS ME DAMNIT!

BM are not any more open minded then the next race of men. Anyone who believes that rubbish, is blinded by foolish ignorance. If MOST BM had the choice(choice=power). They will place higher standards on women. I could go into deep conception of the BM psyche, but most here would brush it off; because, it does not go with their preconceived perception of BM.

Again, I have no problem with men who want to date women that are overweight. I would never "make fun of" one who happens to date women that are overweight; but, do not tell that a women is not overweight, when she is overweight.

Then stop talking about it. Don't continue to post if you have no problen
because you should of stopped at there but you kept going and said some
ignorant, foul shit.

 

[fly girl]

I am simply voicing my observations. If I have offended anyone, this was not my intention. However, if you have been offended it may be because you did not understand what I have been saying. Also, maybe you haven't had some of the life experiences I have had.

P.S. To anyone I have snapped at in the past (7, MO) I deeply and sincerely apologize. Damn, you get ripped a new one for someone else's lack of comprehension.

Maybe "our comprehension" was clouded by all that colorful language you used to make your objective observation ( :roll: )? I know I have a difficult time seeing past all that hateful, degrating language.

 

[7Seven]

This all proves my point about women with weight issues. The women here with weight issues get defensive, explaining their weight issues, making it acceptable to be overweight. They just do not do anything about it. But, I applaud the man who dates one, he is in for one hell of an emotional rollercoster ride. There are SO many issues with these women, what man would want to deal with it? If that makes me an wretch shallow pig, then so be it. I have the power to choose better! Do not try to make me feel bad because I have standards. STOP TRYING TO OPPRESS ME DAMNIT!

BM are not any more open minded then the next race of men. Anyone who believes that rubbish, is blinded by foolish ignorance. If MOST BM had the choice(choice=power). They will place higher standards on women. I could go into deep conception of the BM psyche, but most here would brush it off; because, it does not go with their preconceived perception of BM.

Again, I have no problem with men who want to date women that are overweight. I would never "make fun of" one who happens to date women that are overweight; but, do not tell that a women is not overweight, when she is overweight.

Then stop talking about it. Don't continue to post if you have no problen
because you should of stopped at there but you kept going and said some
ignorant, foul shit.

What is ignorant about what I said? It was foul, maybe. It is obvious you do not agree with it. It is definitely not "foul shit."

 

[mosiah1]

Flygirl - I am sorry that you have had these life experiences. I would never wish such disrespect to anyone.

MO - Being your girl and all, I'm not concerned with me living a lonely life. I'm sorry if I have given you the impression that I am obsessively on guard towards bm wanting to date me simply because I am white or they believe they can get their middle-class ticket. If you honestly have not met men like this, I am a bit amazed. (But me being a "hood rat" and all, maybe it's the crowd I hang with. Ha! Ha!)

I am simply voicing my observations. If I have offended anyone, this was not my intention. However, if you have been offended it may be because you did not understand what I have been saying. Also, maybe you haven't had some of the life experiences I have had.

P.S. To anyone I have snapped at in the past (7, MO) I deeply and sincerely apologize. Damn, you get ripped a new one for someone else's lack of comprehension.

Lainarain, you don't have to apologize to anyone. We can agree to disagree without there being any hard feelings. I'm so used to getting into heated debates online that sometimes I forget that I should be more civil when arguing with a woman. I wasn't trying to belittle you and, for the record, I don't hate black women. Though I admit that I may be a little more attracted to white women, I haven't given up on the sistas. There are still some good ones out there, but I dislike others trying to tell me why I as a BM like WW.

As far as the guys weighing in on this topic are concerned, I think I have made myself so fucking clear that you can shave your whiskers while viewing this post. I repeat: I prefer slim (not starving) to athletically built WW. But fat women get slammed enough without you guys kicking them while they are down. I am not wearing blinders; you are damn right that there are some women out there who would be healthier if they lost a few pounds. My opinion differs, however, because I still wish them the best in their love lives. There are some guys out there who like big girls just like there's a guy currently on this site who admits that he's into pregnant women. More power to you all. I hope all of youse find the people you want and get what you deserve.

In closing, again lainarain, you have nothing at all to apologize for. I like your feistiness and you should keep being yourself on this site. Are we back to being friends now?
:smt056

 

[Iffy'swifey]

I've avoided posting on this thread (not because it's a non dick related thread) because I think most of it is very silly.

It really is different strokes for different folks, and if people haven't realised that then when will they? Yes, some people's preferences may shock or even alarm us (liking pregnant women for one!!) but the human race is so diverse that so will our choices be.

One person's trash is another person's treasure...so if a lot of men think that my figure is trash, I don't give a shit as I'm with a man who thinks it's treasure! I also think it's about being happy with yourself while being realistic. Some people are naturally built bigger (not fatter, but have a larger frame) so they're never going to have a figure like Kate Moss. Just as Kate Moss could never have a figure like Beyonce. Some people carry weight better than others, and some people naturally store it in certain areas (rather like a camel!) so it makes them look bigger than they are.

So long as a person is healthy, or actively seeking to get themselves healthy then I really don't think people should be pouring scorn on their figure. But equally, just because you're fat, that doesn't mean you're fair game to be ridiculed.

 

[lainarain]

MO - Thank you for your gentlemanly response. I have not been offended by anything anyone has written on this particular thread. I have been frustrated that my point has turned into an attack on women who have excess weight or less weight on them because of health concerns or simply a lapse in healthy living (something I can admit to). However, I may not to repeat what I apologized for. I NEVER apologized for what I said. I know that if the reader had read what I said and not jump to an emotional conclusion on what he/she thought I said there would be no such things thrown at me such as: ignorant, misogynistic, and judgmental. It's all good. We all have the right to form our own opinions. I make no excuses for the words I typed because I could give a shit what others interpreted it to be. I do not answer to anyone on this forum (except webmaster, to keep this site appropriate) except my god, God, Universe (haven't figured that out). I have peace in my soul.

I have apologized that my words have been misunderstood...but not by everyone so it makes we wonder how much responsibility other readers should be taking??? I have apologized for whatever role my God tells me I need to take in this matter. It's all a learning experience.

To all - However, this will be my last response to this particular thread. What Iffy has just typed, I agree with whole-heartedly, particularly:

"It really is different strokes for different folks, and if people haven't realised that then when will they? Yes, some people's preferences may shock or even alarm us (liking pregnant women for one!!) but the human race is so diverse that so will our choices"

Absolutely, been saying the same damn thing over and over again with responses back about health concerns can make you overweight or underweight. Or that society can contribute to overweight people feeling inadequate. All of those things SUCK! No one should have to deal with such unfortunate circumstances. However, they are off of the subject of what I originally posted.

Or that men are not allowed to choose whoever they see as beautiful? It's your choice not mine! I'm 5 feet fucking tall! I could give a shit if a man would not think I am beautiful because he likes em tall and stick-thin. I believe I am beautiful, my family and friends think I am beautiful, and a large majority of men like to tell me how beautiful I am. Like I've said, if the man you are with believes you are beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate - all the power to you. You have something that I am still searching for (and Mo, I will get).

So, if you choose to respond to this - go ahead, do what you want. I will not respond to what you have written if my response is the same as I have had like 40 posts ago. Thank you everyone for teaching me so much in such a small period of time.

 

[SardonicGenie]

I brought up this post because it is true most black men preference
in women is not as high as white men's preference. Thats why alot
of us date alot of big girls, whitegirls, asian girls, latin girls, skinny girls,
etc. You get 100 white men together with their woman, most of them
are going to be similar as oppose to 100 black men....Think about it.

I did "think about it." I do wonder why I often see ugly-ass, beat-up, nasty, trashy ww with (some) bm. (okay, they could be beautiful on the inside.) Unfortunately, these bm are w/ these ww simply because they are white. Just because you like white ladies, why do you have to lower your standards. Your choices may not be as diverse, but (if I was a man) I'd rather be picky and wake up alone rather than waking up to some fat, not thick, pasty-skinned, white girl with greasy, stringy hair.

Why shouldn't 7 hold out for his choice of beauty? (never thought I'd be your ally)

If there was ever any doubt that lainarain is actually a black woman, let them be erased now. Spoken like a true sista, lainarain!

I wish I had a dime for every white male comedian who starts off his skit by saying: "I want to thank all you black men for dating fat, ugly white women and taking them off our hands." This introduction is usually followed by a rowdy round of applause from some of the WM and BM in the audience. Some might say that what the comedian is saying is true, but the applause is usually thinly veiled disapproval of BM/WW relationships.

Who are we to judge people for their choices of mates? If that person chooses to date a malnourished waif or a fat tub of lard, it's that person's preference and theirs only. What if that BM were dating an overweight BW? Would people be as critical of him then as they would have been if he was with an obese WW? I've heard others criticize BM for dating so-called flat butt WW and others heckle BM for dating heavy set WW. And if a BM happens to date a shapely, gorgeous WW, then he's accused of being a sellout. If you are a BM dating a WW, you're damned no matter what you do.

Personally, I prefer slim (not starving) to athletically built WW. My fantasy WW as far as physicality would be one the type that you see working out at the local health clubs or professional cheerleaders. The reason why is because I believe in keeping my body in shape, too.

But if you're a BM dating a big WW, you should not be made to feel ashamed because of it. If anything, you should be respected for not dating women solely on outside beauty. If these BM are only dating fat WW just because they are white, the relationships wouldn't last as long as they usually do. So keep doing what you do and don't let others discourage you from being with whomever you desire.

Peace.

All of this makes sense, but no one is or was judging them in this conversation. Lain and I just acknowledged the fact that many black men DO date less than attractive white women simply because they're white, and not only do black women notice this, but so do other black men, white men and white women.

I know that not all black men are this way, but a lot of black men are. I'm not one of them.

Why are you worried about other guy's girls being unattractive in the first
place? Just asking. (To lainarain as well)

When did I say it was something for me to worry about? It's not good to be attracted to someone just because they're white, and that is what Lainarain and I agreed on. That's all.

Then stop mentioning it. That is how you make a person think you are
by being all up in it.

Just because I agreed with lainarain doesn't mean that I have to stop mentioning anything, understand?

 

[SardonicGenie]

From the gitgo, I agreed with the weight obsession here in America, and how it can affect people's lives, as well as the fact that you can find attractive people of all sizes, shapes, and colors, so, if you think about it, I actually agreed with Mosiah and Iffy the whole time, but I still agree with what lainarain said about the black men who only date and marry white women, only because they are white. If you refuse to believe this, then just like Seven and I think, YOU have a problem, especially if they are so many interracial sites (dating, porn, chat, etc.) out there to prove what we are saying. These black men have to set the standards that white women look for in them, but it can't be the other way around. :roll: How is that right exactly?

 

[kenny_g]

The women here look like football and hockey players. It is disgusting, then they wonder why men cheat on their fat arses.

That was ignorant. I didn't call weight bashing when I posted this thread
my man.

 

[kenny_g]

I've avoided posting on this thread (not because it's a non dick related thread) because I think most of it is very silly.

It really is different strokes for different folks, and if people haven't realised that then when will they? Yes, some people's preferences may shock or even alarm us (liking pregnant women for one!!) but the human race is so diverse that so will our choices be.

One person's trash is another person's treasure...so if a lot of men think that my figure is trash, I don't give a shit as I'm with a man who thinks it's treasure! I also think it's about being happy with yourself while being realistic. Some people are naturally built bigger (not fatter, but have a larger frame) so they're never going to have a figure like Kate Moss. Just as Kate Moss could never have a figure like Beyonce. Some people carry weight better than others, and some people naturally store it in certain areas (rather like a camel!) so it makes them look bigger than they are.

So long as a person is healthy, or actively seeking to get themselves healthy then I really don't think people should be pouring scorn on their figure. But equally, just because you're fat, that doesn't mean you're fair game to be ridiculed.

You couldn't say it ANY better Iffy'swifey...

 

[7Seven]

The women here look like football and hockey players. It is disgusting, then they wonder why men cheat on their fat arses.

That was ignorant. I didn't call weight bashing when I posted this thread
my man.

There was nothing ignorant about that statement. You only intercepted as ignorance, because you can not see past the obvious. If you understood, evolution and social biology, you may have understood what I was saying. Overweight women, for the most part(most=majority) is not attractive to men. PICK UP AN BOOK AND EDUCATE YOURSELF, DO NOT BE SO IGNORANT! For men knowledge=power! My friend!

 

[fly girl]

I know that if the reader had read what I said and not jump to an emotional conclusion on what he/she thought I said there would be no such things thrown at me such as: ignorant, misogynistic, and judgmental.

I will patiently try to explain this once more than leave it alone. People never want to own their own prejudices anyways.

When discribing the black men/white women unions in this thread, the only words used for black men where "less than desirable traits" (or was it characteristics?). Yet, when you go onto criticize women, you use much more flavorful language, one of the best indicators of a prejudice. Pasty skin, stringy greasy hair, tore up (or what ever else it was). Had you left it at saying they had less than desirable traits or something similar, I wouldnt have said a word.

You even went as far as to blame it on black women which was seriously foul. You may have overheard some women saying those things, but to bring it here then blame it on black women is just plain foul and suspect.

Brush it off as me being over emotional if it please you, but the truth is I got a good peep at your prejudices. At least now I know.

 

[fly girl]

PICK UP AN BOOK AND EDUCATE YOURSELF, DO NOT BE SO IGNORANT!

Come on now.

 

[7Seven]

PICK UP AN BOOK AND EDUCATE YOURSELF, DO NOT BE SO IGNORANT!

Come on now.

Are you poking at my grammar? DO YOU NOT KNOW ENGLISH GRAMMAR? DUMB ARSE AMERICANS!

 

[kenny_g]

The women here look like football and hockey players. It is disgusting, then they wonder why men cheat on their fat arses.

That was ignorant. I didn't call weight bashing when I posted this thread
my man.

There was nothing ignorant about that statement. You only intercepted as ignorance, because you can not see past the obvious. If you understood, evolution and social biology, you may have understood what I was saying. Overweight women, for the most part(most=majority) is not attractive to men. PICK UP AN BOOK AND EDUCATE YOURSELF, DO NOT BE SO IGNORANT! For men knowledge=power! My friend!

Oh so what your saying is if I call a fat lady who is being so nice to me a
fat ass football player Iam not in the wrong?
You always trying to spit knowledge but ruin it by adding.
Just out of curiousity does anybody ever tell you that
You dont know when to shut up?

 

[kenny_g]

PICK UP AN BOOK AND EDUCATE YOURSELF, DO NOT BE SO IGNORANT!

Come on now.

Are you poking at my grammar? DO YOU NOT KNOW ENGLISH GRAMMAR? DUMB ARSE AMERICANS!

That was ignorant right there!

 

[SardonicGenie]

I know that if the reader had read what I said and not jump to an emotional conclusion on what he/she thought I said there would be no such things thrown at me such as: ignorant, misogynistic, and judgmental.

I will patiently try to explain this once more than leave it alone. People never want to own their own prejudices anyways.

When discribing the black men/white women unions in this thread, the only words used for black men where "less than desirable traits" (or was it characteristics?). Yet, when you go onto criticize women, you use much more flavorful language, one of the best indicators of a prejudice. Pasty skin, stringy greasy hair, tore up (or what ever else it was). Had you left it at saying they had less than desirable traits or something similar, I wouldnt have said a word.

You even went as far as to blame it on black women which was seriously foul. You may have overheard some women saying those things, but to bring it here then blame it on black women is just plain foul and suspect.

Brush it off as me being over emotional if it please you, but the truth is I got a good peep at your prejudices. At least now I know.

She obviously didn't mean it that way...

and, when I agreed with her, it was only in relation to what she meant by black men who date white women only because they are white. That's it.

 

[staceybrewer]

I was watching that corny show elimidate (it was a long boring day for
me.) and I saw that the picker(wm) who had four girls(all ww) with him and he had to "elimidate" one and he got rid of the thick girl, because she was too big. First of all I saw her and to tell ya'll she wasn't that big
as they all made her out to be. They acted like she was big as a house.
This girl was thicky thick and fine. She had an ass and all.

hey, I am all with a white girl being a little bit on the heavy side or thick but not too much fat. I usually prefer the white girls with some booty on them. If I was on elimidate show as a black man I would have to choose white girls because on that show I see mainly pretty white girls. I would take the thick white chick over the skinny white chick any day. I would be afraid that when I make love to the skinny white chick and the sex would get hard and rough I'd be afraid that I would break in her in two or something like that. The thick white chick can handle a big black guy like me so I know that she can take several sessions of rough and hard sex.

And some big
ass titties. I said to myself that is why most big white girls go black.
and I said that because they were all very ignorant to that girl putting
it into her head that she had to be skinny to be beautiful.

There are some white men who like thick white chicks but those white men usually are on the heavy side themselves. I can hang with a skinny white chick but she has got to have some ass and titties on her.

And he was
putting it into her head she could never have someone like him being
"overwieght".
What is ya'll thoughts on this incident?

Have any of the ww on here that is a thick girl ever experienced
that kind of hating from white guys and skinny ww?

Is that one of the reasons, not the only reason
but one of the reasons why you chose to date
black men because alot of us are more accepting
of thick girls?

I think black men are used to seeing thick black girls so when they see a thick white girl they are more accepting of it because most black women are thick. Black men see inner beauty mostly and can see past the overweight issues, white men want their white women to look like barbie dolls or be perfectly skinny. And not many women look like a barbie doll so see themselves starving themselves thin to please their white men.

And to the guys have ya'll ever been in that
situation where a thick white girl that look good as
hell is being dissed by wm and skinny ww for being
"overweight"? and if so have you ever defended her?

Yeah I have defended the thick white girl that looked good because her white male friends where putting her down at a party so as a black man I defended her.

And lastly do you all think that it is a race thing
in terms of what race of men like big girls?

I don't think it is a race thing on what race of men like big girls. I like thick white girls with a few extra pounds on them but that is just me. I think it depends on the man.

To me it is. I believe most white men NOT ALL
but most white men not only don't like em thick
but puts them down for being thick.
Kirstie Ally is a perfect example of this; she was
on the david letterman show and said that
all men don't like big girls and was wondering
what kind of men is she talking about?

:roll:

Have you seen Kirstie Ally on the Oprah Winfrey Show? She lost a lot of weight and she looks thick but she still looks good. I would fuck the hell out of her in a second if she asked me to. Kirstie has a nice thick booty on her and some big ass titties. I would ride that woman like a madman in bed.

 

[staceybrewer]

I brought up this post because it is true most black men preference
in women is not as high as white men's preference. Thats why alot
of us date alot of big girls, whitegirls, asian girls, latin girls, skinny girls,
etc. You get 100 white men together with their woman, most of them
are going to be similar as oppose to 100 black men....Think about it.

I did "think about it." I do wonder why I often see ugly-ass, beat-up, nasty, trashy ww with (some) bm.

As a black male who has dated white women I have never dated any ugly-ass, beat-up, nasty white women. All the white women I have dated where nothing other than fine-looking beauty queens. I have never dated an ugly white woman in my entire life.

(okay, they could be beautiful on the inside.) Unfortunately, these bm are w/ these ww simply because they are white. Just because you like white ladies, why do you have to lower your standards.

I have never lowered my standards just because I like the white ladies. I not with a white lady just because she is white I am with them because I love being with them. I am with them because I like seeing her conduct herself as a lady.

Your choices may not be as diverse, but (if I was a man) I'd rather be picky and wake up alone rather than waking up to some fat, not thick, pasty-skinned, white girl with greasy, stringy hair.

I am very picky when it comes to white women. I have never chosen fat white women although I have some fat white women who are my friends I would never date a fat white woman.

Why shouldn't 7 hold out for his choice of beauty? (never thought I'd be your ally)

If there was ever any doubt that lainarain is actually a black woman, let them be erased now. Spoken like a true sista, lainarain!

I wish I had a dime for every white male comedian who starts off his skit by saying: "I want to thank all you black men for dating fat, ugly white women and taking them off our hands." This introduction is usually followed by a rowdy round of applause from some of the WM and BM in the audience. Some might say that what the comedian is saying is true, but the applause is usually thinly veiled disapproval of BM/WW relationships.

Usually a joke is a joke and I can take a joke about fat white women. I think it has to be based on loving one another in a relationship and not race.

Who are we to judge people for their choices of mates? If that person chooses to date a malnourished waif or a fat tub of lard, it's that person's preference and theirs only. What if that BM were dating an overweight BW? Would people be as critical of him then as they would have been if he was with an obese WW?

I think people would be more critical of him if he dated a fat white lady than if it was a fat black lady. I think it is more acceptable to see a black man with a fat black woman than it is a fat white woman because the majority of black women are fat. There are fat women of every race but I think the reason a lot of black women are fat is because of all the fried foods they eat.


I've heard others criticize BM for dating so-called flat butt WW and others heckle BM for dating heavy set WW. And if a BM happens to date a shapely, gorgeous WW, then he's accused of being a sellout. If you are a BM dating a WW, you're damned no matter what you do.

I agree with you there. I have dated shapely, curvy, gorgeous white women and some black women have called me a sell-out to my face. I think a black male is damned not matter what he does but why it is just with white women and not other races of women.

Personally, I prefer slim (not starving) to athletically built WW. My fantasy WW as far as physicality would be one the type that you see working out at the local health clubs or professional cheerleaders. The reason why is because I believe in keeping my body in shape, too.

But if you're a BM dating a big WW, you should not be made to feel ashamed because of it. If anything, you should be respected for not dating women solely on outside beauty. If these BM are only dating fat WW just because they are white, the relationships wouldn't last as long as they usually do. So keep doing what you do and don't let others discourage you from being with whomever you desire.

Peace.

All of this makes sense, but no one is or was judging them in this conversation. Lain and I just acknowledged the fact that many black men DO date less than attractive white women simply because they're white, and not only do black women notice this, but so do other black men, white men and white women.

I am one of the many black men who has dated only attractive white women and won't settle for less than that.

I know that not all black men are this way, but a lot of black men are. I'm not one of them.

Why are you worried about other guy's girls being unattractive in the first
place? Just asking. (To lainarain as well)

if the other guys girls is unattractive you don't have to worry about her cheating on you, and no man will want to take your girl away from you.

When did I say it was something for me to worry about? It's not good to be attracted to someone just because they're white, and that is what Lainarain and I agreed on. That's all.

I think attraction is based on what I see inside and not because they are white. A tanned white skin with a good shine to it is what attracts me initially but I am attracted to her personality and character as a lady.


Then stop mentioning it. That is how you make a person think you are
by being all up in it.

Just because I agreed with lainarain doesn't mean that I have to stop mentioning anything, understand?

 

[LA]

Wow! This 'quoting someone else's post' thing is getting way out of hand. Uhm, maybe ppl can post more replys that actually have something to do with the main point of the thread.??