Latest Volleys in Interracial Dating "Wars"

[Hypestyle]

Writer Ernest Baker:
http://gawker.com/the-reality-of-dating-white-women-when-youre-black-1585401039
Excerpt:

Why do I date white women? Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout. The white men who can get past the mental anguish of my black penis tarnishing "their" women think I'm making some latent admission that their race has the most attractive women. White women range from those so intrigued by black men that it veers into fetish to those so reluctant to date black men that it feels more racist than preference-driven. These are generalizations, of course, but they are attitudes that I've personally encountered. Skepticism towards black men/white women relationships is a longstanding and well-documented part of our cultural fabric in America.
Most people have it wrong. I'm not a "black man" who "dates white women." I'm a person. I have my own unique experiences and some of them include having dated women who are white, but because interracial dating is such a historically tense and loaded subject, it's hardly ever looked at with any understanding or compassion for the people personally involved. The concept of a black man in a relationship with a white woman is a "thing" that people have an opinion on, and that opinion comes with an entire set of stereotypes, fueled by racist ideology, a complicated past, and sometimes even pop culture. Kanye West once rapped about how successful black men will "leave your ass for a white girl," and then put himself into that box by marrying a white woman, furthering the pervasiveness of flawed, generic ideas about interracial relationships.
That swath of generic ideas has an actual impact on culture and society, too. How many jokes have been made at Kim Kardashian's expense because of her history of dating black men? Twenty-two-year-old virgin psychopath Elliot Rodger just killed six people in California and left behind a paper trial of racially charged sentiments like, "How could an inferior, ugly black boy be able to get a white girl and not me?" The most visible criminal trial of the 20th century centered around a blonde white woman who was presumably murdered at the hands of her black husband, O.J. Simpson. White reaction to The Verdict may have been one of shock and rage, but it's also largely oblivious to the history of disenfranchisement, partially as it relates to interracial relationships, of blacks in this country.

Clutch Magazine's Britni Danielle offers a rebuttal:

http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2014...paign=newsflash-nobody-cares-date-white-girls

excerpt:

Bakers essay is long, rambling, and at times contradictory, but it boils down to this: he likes white women because they like him.
AND THAT’S PERFECTLY FINE.
Here’s the thing: When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s okay for people to have preferences. If you don’t like Black women, or Black men, or Latinas, or Asian men, cool, do you.
The problem comes in when a person throws entire swaths of people under the bus to justify their preferences (or worse, tries to convert others to their point of view), or in Bakers case, writes 2,600+ word diatribes trying to justify a preference that doesn’t need justifying in the first place.
Though Baker sets out to place the blame for the difficulty of his interracial dating “reality” on prejudice, it seems like he isn’t wholly comfortable in his choices and is looking outsource his ambivalence (or guilt?) to others.

 

[buglerroller]

I was just about to post this article, good read and for the most part reality of how it is.

 

[The Dark King]

I was just about to post this article, good read and for the most part reality of how it is.

cosign

 

[DonnyJ]

Britni Danielle calling you mofos out. Props.

 

[Smile02]

He seems to be apologizing to Black women Trying to prove something to them. He's wasting his time in my opinion. I truly believe that there is a very high proportion of Black women, that if they had more options open to them, they would never involve themselves romantically with Black men who have dated White women. It's just that the numbers and are not on their side, so they sometimes have to "settle" for Black men like me who enjoy both races.
I know that if Black women were not the furthest from the standard of beauty in the world and "pressed" many of them would not entertain me.
I think it's useful to be masculine and live our lives without apology and accept many BW are disappointed in us.
I also disagree with him that White men in power have considered interracial sex between BM and WW unacceptable. It depends on the social class of the woman. Throughout the Americas, WM have used poor WW to procreate with BM to bring forth a subserviant mulatto population that would be with whites within a few generations, Brazil in the aftermath of slavery, is a perfect example. European men have shipped their poorer WW around the world throughout their colonies specifically to procreate with Black men.
BM/WW relationships have often been promoted by WM to control BM and their resources and the biracial children used as buffers to the Black race. The idea of it being taboo is false in my mind.

 

[goodlove]

cosign

hhhmmm, i heard what the second article said before from someone else.
ghee , i wonder who said that shit

 

[flaminghetero]

He seems to be apologizing to Black women Trying to prove something to them. He's wasting his time in my opinion. I truly believe that there is a very high proportion of Black women, that if they had more options open to them, they would never involve themselves romantically with Black men who have dated White women. It's just that the numbers and are not on their side, so they sometimes have to "settle" for Black men like me who enjoy both races.
I know that if Black women were not the furthest from the standard of beauty in the world and "pressed" many of them would not entertain me.
I think it's useful to be masculine and live our lives without apology and accept many BW are disappointed in us.
I also disagree with him that White men in power have considered interracial sex between BM and WW unacceptable. It depends on the social class of the woman. Throughout the Americas, WM have used poor WW to procreate with BM to bring forth a subserviant mulatto population that would be with whites within a few generations, Brazil in the aftermath of slavery, is a perfect example. European men have shipped their poorer WW around the world throughout their colonies specifically to procreate with Black men.
BM/WW relationships have often been promoted by WM to control BM and their resources and the biracial children used as buffers to the Black race. The idea of it being taboo is false in my mind.

If BW are disappointed in us..then we should be disappointed in them.

Seems like they are reading from the same playbook as white males... by the way they complain about BM/WW but are happy enough to throw a party when it's WM/BW.

 

[goodlove]

If BW are disappointed in us..then we should be disappointed in them.

Seems like they are reading from the same playbook as white males... by the way they complain about BM/WW but are happy enough to throw a party when it's WM/BW.

this article was written by a bm. the 2nd is written by a bw. read the 2nd then you will see whats up

 

[AlmostThere]

this article was written by a bm.

Both articles illustrates what's wrong with continuously having this conversation for a BM. The one by the BM shows that no matter how articulate or well meaning you phrase it, nobody is interested in the actual truth or reason or even understanding. They just want you to shut your mouth and do as you're told (i.e. get a black woman, the darker the better, your own individual circumstances, choices, and preferences be damned.).

the 2nd is written by a bw. read the 2nd then you will see whats up

The second article is an example of the passive aggressive mind games that those who wish to control Black men play. If she doesn't care all she needed was two words (or even better none), but somehow not caring turns into a 350+ word essay, which spouts much of the same shaming rhetoric we have all heard numerous times while feigning to be indifferent.

 

[Beasty]

Both articles illustrates what's wrong with continuously having this conversation for a BM. The one by the BM shows that no matter how articulate or well meaning you phrase it, nobody is interested in the actual truth or reason or even understanding. They just want you to shut your mouth and do as you're told (i.e. get a black woman, the darker the better, your own individual circumstances, choices, and preferences be damned.).



The second article is an example of the passive aggressive mind games that those who wish to control Black men play. If she doesn't care all she needed was two words (or even better none), but somehow not caring turns into a 350+ word essay, which spouts much of the same shaming rhetoric we have all heard numerous times while feigning to be indifferent.

:smt023

 

[Gorath]

Both articles simply suggest that it is all right to date interracially. While I think the bm writer of the first article wrote this as a way of advertising the fact that he dates ww, it doesn't suggest that he wouldn't date a bw if he meets a bw that he finds attractive and interesting.


The second article by the bw is simply saying that it doesn't matter who a person dates, But, the underlying message she is conveying is that people should not turn their noses up at(or ignore) other people of other races because everyone has unique qualities that should be acknowledged and appreciated. I believe that she is aware that people have their preferences.

That is how I see what both of these articles mean.

 

[goodlove]

Both articles illustrates what's wrong with continuously having this conversation for a BM. The one by the BM shows that no matter how articulate or well meaning you phrase it, nobody is interested in the actual truth or reason or even understanding. They just want you to shut your mouth and do as you're told (i.e. get a black woman, the darker the better, your own individual circumstances, choices, and preferences be damned.).



The second article is an example of the passive aggressive mind games that those who wish to control Black men play. If she doesn't care all she needed was two words (or even better none), but somehow not caring turns into a 350+ word essay, which spouts much of the same shaming rhetoric we have all heard numerous times while feigning to be indifferent.

naw reread it. shes saying u have your preference to date ww..cool..just dont throw bw under the bus to justify dating ww.

 

[flaminghetero]

Both articles illustrates what's wrong with continuously having this conversation for a BM. The one by the BM shows that no matter how articulate or well meaning you phrase it, nobody is interested in the actual truth or reason or even understanding. They just want you to shut your mouth and do as you're told (i.e. get a black woman, the darker the better, your own individual circumstances, choices, and preferences be damned.).



The second article is an example of the passive aggressive mind games that those who wish to control Black men play. If she doesn't care all she needed was two words (or even better none), but somehow not caring turns into a 350+ word essay, which spouts much of the same shaming rhetoric we have all heard numerous times while feigning to be indifferent.

:smt038

 

[flaminghetero]

naw reread it. shes saying u have your preference to date ww..cool..just dont throw bw under the bus to justify dating ww.

Says the guy currently under the foot of a BW.:smt042

 

[goodlove]

Says the guy currently under the foot of a BW.:smt042

lol...coming from an illiterate and a bw-hater ....i laugh.

 

[flaminghetero]

lol...coming from an illiterate ....i laugh.

If you loved BW so much you wouldn't have your ass up in this motherfucker.

One day your ol' lady will find you on this site and that will be curtains for your behind.

She'll tear your ass up smoother than soft-serve Ice cream.:smt042

 

[goodlove]

If you loved BW so much you wouldn't have your ass up in this motherfucker.

One day your ol' lady will find you on this site and that will be curtains for your behind.

She'll tear your ass up smoother than soft-serve Ice cream.:smt042

that statement proves my point..thanks...any thinking man and woman can see my point and your bullshit.

if i was a ww...i wouldnt date your ass. why?

if you were able to get ur dick up long enuff to impregnate a woman...you would more likely to have a girl. would you hate her?
also why would a ww want to date a dude whose reason for dating ww is because he hate bw....no love for ww..just to spite bw.

 

[RicardoCooper]

Says the guy currently under the foot of a BW.:smt042

If you loved BW so much you wouldn't have your ass up in this motherfucker.

One day your ol' lady will find you on this site and that will be curtains for your behind.

She'll tear your ass up smoother than soft-serve Ice cream.:smt042

 

[Smile02]

If BW are disappointed in us..then we should be disappointed in them.

Seems like they are reading from the same playbook as white males... by the way they complain about BM/WW but are happy enough to throw a party when it's WM/BW.

I believe the reason why they throw a party over WM/BW relationships, is because BW's ego is on the floor. No woman in America has suffered for hundreds of years the brutality and dehumanization of her and her children, the way Black women have. Even when slavery ended BW would see their sons castrated and lynched or imprisoned unfairly. But BM and BW were a team, BM had her back.
Then in the 80s and 90s the elite decided a divide and conquer tactic. They decided to uplift BM and put them in adverts and on MTV dancing with White women, they promoted the BM as a sexually desirable partner, they put him on trend. But they did not do the same for the BW... she was left as an outsider while her men were offered the keys to the white kingdom. The men happily joined the main stream and left their mothers and sisters behind.
When you are an undervalued, ignored, marginalized outsider, called ugly, masculine, insulted for wearing a weave and contact lenses to try to fit in, you celebrate disproportionately whenever crumbs of acceptability are thrown your way. How Black women feel about their position as women in society can be judged by their high abortion rates compared to every other women they share a society with. Black women are committing suicide via their wombs, killing the future generation of women who will have to live in their shoes.

 

[flaminghetero]

:smt042