Wow, I’ve been loosely following this forum over the last few months and always thought eventually I’ll chime in with my experiences but never got around to it. So, here I go. I’m going to apologize in advance for the length of this monster post as I’m not real good with being brief – especially on these types of topics.
I’m a Black American from L.A. and I’ve been living in Stuttgart, Germany since October 2009, so almost two years now. Why Germany? Well I met my fiancé online about five years ago (BlackPlanet…I know, don’t laugh!) The first year we were talking on the phone or emailing basically every day, the second year it continued but I finally flew to Germany a few times, flew her to L.A. twice and eventually the relationship progressed to the point where I made the decision to move there for a year or two, as the original plan was for her to move to California with me for the long-term assuming our relationship continued to work out
Also, she is Greek, not German although she has spent more than half her life living in Germany. For quite some time I had been very much open to living abroad. I had already done some traveling (Jamaica, throughout Mexico, Canada, Chile) but I had not yet been to Europe. I think I got a little burned out on L.A. life in particular being born and raised there and just kind of had an instinctual feeling I would enjoy living in another country. I just wasn’t sure which one. So, when things got serious with my girl, I decided to make that move.
I hope you don’t mind my addressing a few topics in a very broad, rambling way. It will probably be two posts.
My general impressions of German life
Coming from Southern California, the weather most definitely sucks. I didn’t realize how much it would actually affect me. It can be a downer to have gray skies much of the year. Either it’s raining, snowing or just cold…but almost always gray. I must say though this year hasn’t been that bad and lately it’s been pretty nice actually.
The food also sucks. Okay, ‘some’ German food is pretty good, so I should say the variety and quality of food sucks. Italian restaurants…terrible and bland, Mexican restaurants…a straight joke, it goes on and on. Too often, only in desperation I’ve found myself at Turkish doner shops..or…just cooking my own damn gumbo. There are a few decent spots – an Indian restaurant that was very good, but in general, Germany is not known for its international cuisine.
The people are rude and cold…in general. The pushing, the cutting in line, the lack of personal space, their unwillingness to greet strangers, much less with smile – all of this and more are smaller everyday things that make me not a big fan of everyday German life.
I have heard this is more a European cultural thing, but in quick trips to Paris and Strasbourg and Northern Italy I didn’t get this experience. I also felt those countries had more character, the people were more personable in general especially the Italians. Again, this is just my impression. There are indeed open and friendly Germans but I feel they are definitely in the minority. So, I’m a fan of Europe, not a fan of “Germany.”
Call me a creature of habit or just a spoiled American or maybe even ignorant because when I first got here I really had a difficult time accepting some of the everyday differences between American and European life; seemingly small things but annoying nonetheless such as almost everything being closed on Sundays, warm Soda, no ice, no air conditioning, uncomfortable beds, ugly expensive shoes and clothes in limited sizes, small living spaces and I already mentioned the lack of respect for personal space...a big pet peeve for me.
On a side note, I guess it was my naivety but I wasn’t prepared for the constant cold shoulder from Africans. I learned fast, quick and a hurry that they wanted nothing to do with a Black American cat except maybe the attempt to dress in hip-hop gear…(circa 1992).
Thoughts on racism
I know some are going to disagree with me, but I think anyone who comes here thinking Germany is this wonderfully open multicultural love fest they are severely fooling themselves. Aside from some of the neo Nazis in the eastern parts there is not much violent racism. But there is a subtle racism or perhaps a more accurate word would be an ‘ignorance’ or prejudice that is prevalent from my experiences.
I belong to an English speaking expatriate group here in Stuttgart and from time to time I meet up with them at some bar/lounge/restaurant or whatever event may be happening and over the last year or so I’ve gotten into some pretty interesting conversations. A lot of these people are not necessarily Americans as some may assume, they are from all over the world and they want to gather and speak english in a social setting: The group has people from Bagdad, London, Ireland, Australia, Netherlands, Russia, Brazil, so all over, even Germans. Some also have close familial ties to Germany – a lot of times this is their reason for being here in the first place.
Anyway, as you might imagine some interesting conversations can develop and being one of the very few black guys in the group, it seems I get the types of questions they’ve always wanted to ask a black person if they ever had a chance. As the hefeweizens continue to flow, the questions get deeper. Sometimes it’s pretty funny and at other times it gets tiring answering or defending against their stupid ass stereotypes of black people and our lives - the “hood”…”drive bys”…”hip-hop”…our sexual conquests, especially with white girls…big dick jokes and comments…Obama. Just last night I had to check this British guy about his welfare statistics – he basically implied that “the numbers” show poor black people as a burden to the American economy. Wow.
It’s shit like this that really challenges your discipline to not react exactly how they would expect! Instead, you have to remain calm and collected and fire on them in a different manner – The respect eventually comes but this type of thing gets tiring and I feel it is unique to being in Europe – these stereotypical perceptions of the U.S. and Black Americans.
I have gone to school almost my entire life with white students aside from college (Morehouse), I’ve certainly worked with a ton of them, plenty of friends, etc and never have I received as many ignorant ass questions I’ve gotten here in Germany.
In my Business English classes, most of my students are auto engineers or professionals in other industries and again I get similar types of questions from them too. Funny how they start off harmless and once we’ve become “close enough” the real questions begin.
My suggestion…come out and stay for one to three months and soak up the culture and daily lifestyle. Try to not act as a tourist but do the things you will be doing as a full-time resident – go to the store, try to get information for your career, interact with people, travel around locally. Whether or not you are going to be some great catch to German women is only one aspect of things (more on that in a minute), but from my perspective Germany is not necessarily the warm and fuzzy place for brothas that some will advertise it as, so watch out. It can be for some and others, well…it could really suck.
(continued on next post)
