Minnesota Interracial Dating/Marriage (article)

[7Seven]

Re: really now

So because I'm independent and have a great career and want a traditional houshold.. Funny how you assume traditionally means money.. But whatever.
Traditional household to me means the man is the head of the household. But I'm guessing you wont get that cause everything is about money right.
I have been in multiple relationships where i made more money than my man or husband. Big whoop. Money isn't what i am talking about. Having a man who is ambitious and successful in his career even if its general manager at a McDonald's the ambition is attractive to me. Being about something. Funny what assumptions do to you. Being an independent woman and having equal rights and paying a mans bills don't all have to go hand in hand. In today's society 99 % of the woman have to work then come home clean cook do laundry and take care of the kids. Where some of the men do not help in this when it comes to household duties.. The problem in America appears to be some obvious and i don't have to say what it is for anyone to have a clue. And this ac cross the board as i have dated all races creeds and cultures. This message board is a trip. People don't ask they just go off about nothing and anything. Ignorance is bliss. So independent career woman have to take care of there man. Id rather be a single happy independent career woman going on trips to Jamaica with my daughter then be with someone who would want to have any woman pay there bills.. Says a lot about you playas.

It is not anymore clear to me that you have no understanding of what it means to be independent. You see, you are only SELF-SUFFICIENT. Being self-sufficient has no correlation with independence. LOL. People habituate themselves to let things pass through their minds, as one may speak, rather than think of them. This is what you have here. You have no understanding of an self-suffient women VS an independent women. Thus, by use, you become satisfied merely with seeing what is said, without going any further.

What I see you by your explantion in your reply is self-sufficiency, not independence. A self-sufficient woman is also willing to provide for others and willing to succumb to others when appropriate. Also, she's willing to depend on others when independence isn't necessary, even though she could hold her own.

The so called 'independent women' (or man) can't do that, and is intimidated by the thought of the innate interdependency of humankind. I should know, I am one (the male version).

An independent person is very good at putting on a mature facade, and I think that's why it uncommon. You see, i'm able to recognize my flaws. What say you? Review and attention.

 

[7Seven]

Re: really now

So because I'm independent and have a great career and want a traditional houshold.. Funny how you assume traditionally means money.. But whatever.
Traditional household to me means the man is the head of the household. But I'm guessing you wont get that cause everything is about money right.
I have been in multiple relationships where i made more money than my man or husband. Big whoop. Money isn't what i am talking about. Having a man who is ambitious and successful in his career even if its general manager at a McDonald's the ambition is attractive to me. Being about something. Funny what assumptions do to you. Being an independent woman and having equal rights and paying a mans bills don't all have to go hand in hand. In today's society 99 % of the woman have to work then come home clean cook do laundry and take care of the kids. Where some of the men do not help in this when it comes to household duties.. The problem in America appears to be some obvious and i don't have to say what it is for anyone to have a clue. And this ac cross the board as i have dated all races creeds and cultures. This message board is a trip. People don't ask they just go off about nothing and anything. Ignorance is bliss. So independent career woman have to take care of there man. Id rather be a single happy independent career woman going on trips to Jamaica with my daughter then be with someone who would want to have any woman pay there bills.. Says a lot about you playas.

On another note......Everything is about money. It is the bottome line at the end that counts. This is how i see it. THE BOTTOM LINE.

 

[SardonicGenie]

Here's an article from the Star Tribune (Minneapolis) newspaper about BM/WF IR:

Three and a half years ago, I wrote a Single Life column that was headlined: "A black woman wonders: What's up with the Minnesota dating game?" Well, I'm still wondering.

In particular, I wondered what was up with all the couples comprising black men and white women. It seemed so predominant and a cause for concern. Now, census figures prove what I and many other black women in Minnesota -- single or married -- had figured out: Many black men here are not dating or marrying black women. Add that to the fact that men of other races don't seem interested in black women, either, and it's downright scary!

A front-page story in last Sunday's Star Tribune said "blacks and Asians in Minnesota are much likelier than their counterparts nationally to marry outside their own race."

No kidding!

The census data involving blacks is the most startling: Among married black men in Minnesota, 44 percent have wives who are not black; among married black women in the state, 14 percent have husbands who are not black. Nationally, the figures are 7 percent for men and 3 percent for women. So again I ask, what's up with this?

If 44 percent of married black men in Minnesota are going over to the white side, compared with only 14 percent of married black women, what does this mean?

It means a lot of lonely weekends for a lot of black women.

As I said in the previous column, I am not opposed to interracial dating and marriage. Not at all. But only if people date for the right reasons: compatibility, attraction, similar interests -- the reasons you would date anyone. But I've met quite a few black men -- and some white women -- who date only outside their race.

What's that about? Does it mean a kind of self-hatred, a discomfort around people who look like you? It seems fairly obvious that some brothers are looking only for a trophy, a hey-look-at-what-I've-got date. And my white sisters may be still acting out a rebelliousness that should have gone by the wayside in their teens, an in-your-face-mom-and-dad-and-society attitude.

But the census figures raise the question: Why is the interracial marriage scenario in Minnesota so one-sided? There are more women than men in the United States -- in the world, for that matter. So there is really no necessity for white men to deliberately seek out black women. Even after the married brothers -- 44 percent, remember -- have made a dent in the white female population, there are still plenty of white women to choose from.

That leaves a lot of black women alone.

It also explains the malevolent stares that couples made up of black men and white women sometimes receive from black women. That's not right; these couples may be together for all the right reasons, but it is understandable.

Brothers who date exclusively outside their race often justify their actions by saying black women are difficult, indifferent and hard to get along with. Did they ever stop to think it's a chicken-and-egg situation? Which came first, black women's supposed difficulty, or their often shabby treatment by black men who should cherish them?

The Kid Rasta 8)

Oh, please... not this kind of crap again. :roll:

Write to the author of the article and tell her that if she and many other black women didn't waste too much of their time writing and concocting stories and rumors like this, then they wouldn't have to worry about dying alone and miserable all the time.

 

[SardonicGenie]

They blame their lonely nights on the BM who date IR. I mean, who else do women blame their problems on? Of course it's men. It can, in no way possible, be women. Perhaps, these 'lonely women' should look at their-selves in the mirror, and say what is wrong with me, instead of putting the blame on men, particularly BM.

Maybe when hell freezes over...

 

[SardonicGenie]

Re: Thank you

I agree and besides who needs a man to be happy. If you are happy and confident in your life men will come. I have plenty of men trying to talk to me even a few who want relationships.. However i don't want just anyone.

Black woman need to stop sitting at home crying and winning being angry and get out there be successful happy and men will come flocking.
And if these stupid white woman would stop paying for men's bills and forgiving after her man has cheated on her over and over men would stop the games.. But i am opening a can of worms so ill stop now.

Too late... they got away!

But, you're right.

 

[SardonicGenie]

Re: Thank you

I agree and besides who needs a man to be happy. If you are happy and confident in your life men will come. I have plenty of men trying to talk to me even a few who want relationships.. However i don't want just anyone.

Black woman need to stop sitting at home crying and winning being angry and get out there be successful happy and men will come flocking.
And if these stupid white woman would stop paying for men's bills and forgiving after her man has cheated on her over and over men would stop the games.. But i am opening a can of worms so ill stop now.

:lol: Thank you! I saw this coming the whole time.

You prove my point. Women are stupid. But hey, if they want to continue to make pain and sorrow their foundation then that is on them. It is simple, these women are not attractive. Point black.

There are no white men coming to the rescue of these women either. Why? Why have an hooked up civic, when you have an exotic car, or maybe you are not that fancy and prefer the BMW M3. It is SIMPLE socialbiology really. Gotta love natural selection. But wait, I'm an angry, bitter, sexist pig for pointing it out. Right?

I do not know ANY attractive BW who limits her dating options to just BM. That is just moronic.

Smart women, bad choices?

And, you may be disappointed to know that America is full of black women who only want black men.

 

[SardonicGenie]

Re: wowsa

Men will only purse attractive women, personalty and all that other rubbish, is just that rubbish.

Not necessarily Seven. Well, not for me at least. As a matter of fact, i mostly overlook the very attractive women and instead focus on the ones who are maybe a bit lower in overall looks. I do notice the attractive women just like everyone else, but i won't pursue a girl just cause she's hot you know. Of course, she has to have some kind of attractiveness to her, but a really sweet girl with a big smile will win me over way before really good looks will. I don't think it's rubbish at all.

This is how you get the attention of all the more attractive ones.

 

[7Seven]

Re: Thank you

I agree and besides who needs a man to be happy. If you are happy and confident in your life men will come. I have plenty of men trying to talk to me even a few who want relationships.. However i don't want just anyone.

Black woman need to stop sitting at home crying and winning being angry and get out there be successful happy and men will come flocking.
And if these stupid white woman would stop paying for men's bills and forgiving after her man has cheated on her over and over men would stop the games.. But i am opening a can of worms so ill stop now.

:lol: Thank you! I saw this coming the whole time.

You prove my point. Women are stupid. But hey, if they want to continue to make pain and sorrow their foundation then that is on them. It is simple, these women are not attractive. Point black.

There are no white men coming to the rescue of these women either. Why? Why have an hooked up civic, when you have an exotic car, or maybe you are not that fancy and prefer the BMW M3. It is SIMPLE socialbiology really. Gotta love natural selection. But wait, I'm an angry, bitter, sexist pig for pointing it out. Right?

I do not know ANY attractive BW who limits her dating options to just BM. That is just moronic.

Smart women, bad choices?

And, you may be disappointed to know that America is full of black women who only want black men.

Yea, we all make bad choices, but a smart person learns from them. But, when will these women learn they are not independent? Again, by the very definition, women are in fact very dependent.

BW who only want BM? Maybe the unattractive ones? Besides, they ridicule us so much how could they ever want just BM?

 

[solar flair]

You know, I just noticed the source of the article...

You mean this bullshit was published in a city newspaper? The Minneapolis Star Tribune? That's incredible. It's even a little racist to print something like that...

 

[solar flair]

BW who only want BM? Maybe the unattractive ones? Besides, they ridicule us so much how could they ever want just BM?

I think it's pretty obvious that the vast majority of black women are interested primarily (but not exclusively) in black men.

The problem is, black women are no different from the rest of society: they're encouraged to think they're "better" than black men, know more than black men, and know black men better than they know themselves...

What's more, as in the rest of society, there's no taboo against showing hatred to a black man, not even the taboo of one's own conscience. So if they feel like it, they go for it -- even if the reason they feel like it is stupid, or selfish, or backward.

Thus the conflict...

---

I wouldn't be surprised if the birth rate among black people drops dramatically over the next few generations. As it is, most black women I know are having 1 child by a guy they then split with -- and no more. On top of that, there are *tons* of black women remaining single & childless, plus manless for loooong stretches of time...

All in all, I think what we're seeing is the dissolution of a culture...

 

[Lexington]

All in all, I think what we're seeing is the dissolution of a culture...

Absolutely. Although I completely understand the problems associated with women having children out of wedlock and continuing a cycle of pain and poverty for blacks when they do not procreate with the confines of marriage, I find it "extremely" interesting that there's no outcry or backlash from society against other minorities and whites who are doing the same thing. Our population is declining while everyone else's is on the incline...much of it through illegitimate births. It's just a matter of time now.....

 

[7Seven]

BW who only want BM? Maybe the unattractive ones? Besides, they ridicule us so much how could they ever want just BM?

I think it's pretty obvious that the vast majority of black women are interested primarily (but not exclusively) in black men.

The problem is, black women are no different from the rest of society: they're encouraged to think they're "better" than black men, know more than black men, and know black men better than they know themselves...

What's more, as in the rest of society, there's no taboo against showing hatred to a black man, not even the taboo of one's own conscience. So if they feel like it, they go for it -- even if the reason they feel like it is stupid, or selfish, or backward.

Thus the conflict...

---

I wouldn't be surprised if the birth rate among black people drops dramatically over the next few generations. As it is, most black women I know are having 1 child by a guy they then split with -- and no more. On top of that, there are *tons* of black women remaining single & childless, plus manless for loooong stretches of time...

All in all, I think what we're seeing is the dissolution of a culture...

Yea, you are completely right. To add on what you just said. Men are portrayed as moronic, inferior to women. How many times have one seen little comic antidotes, often portraying the man as stupid? I would laugh, but this mentality as 'women knows best,' is destructive to society. How can a women raise a boy to be a man, when she has no idea what a man is? These are 2 truths that no women would recognize. I see too many women telling men how to be men. They attack a man's pride, his honour, and question his masculinity. This is how women manipulate a man at will.

Again, these are all truths that nobody wants to recognize. This 'women knows best' has reduced the fatherly role to near dirt. To women of this generation, particularly in western society, a man has no place when raising a child, especially a boy. I'll be DAMNED before I let some female tell me how to raise a man. I have excellent lawyers who will see to it.

 

[roseveltfranklin]

BW who only want BM? Maybe the unattractive ones? Besides, they ridicule us so much how could they ever want just BM?

I think it's pretty obvious that the vast majority of black women are interested primarily (but not exclusively) in black men.

The problem is, black women are no different from the rest of society: they're encouraged to think they're "better" than black men, know more than black men, and know black men better than they know themselves...

What's more, as in the rest of society, there's no taboo against showing hatred to a black man, not even the taboo of one's own conscience. So if they feel like it, they go for it -- even if the reason they feel like it is stupid, or selfish, or backward.

Thus the conflict...

---

I wouldn't be surprised if the birth rate among black people drops dramatically over the next few generations. As it is, most black women I know are having 1 child by a guy they then split with -- and no more. On top of that, there are *tons* of black women remaining single & childless, plus manless for loooong stretches of time...

All in all, I think what we're seeing is the dissolution of a culture...

Yea, you are completely right. To add on what you just said. Men are portrayed as moronic, inferior to women. How many times have one seen little comic antidotes, often portraying the man as stupid? I would laugh, but this mentality as 'women knows best,' is destructive to society. How can a women raise a boy to be a man, when she has no idea what a man is? These are 2 truths that no women would recognize. I see too many women telling men how to be men. They attack a man's pride, his honour, and question his masculinity. This is how women manipulate a man at will.

Again, these are all truths that nobody wants to recognize. This 'women knows best' has reduced the fatherly role to near dirt. To women of this generation, particularly in western society, a man has no place when raising a child, especially a boy. I'll be DAMNED before I let some female tell me how to raise a man. I have excellent lawyers who will see to it.

My wife (im now divorced) started on me shortly after we were married. The first thing she did was attack my education constantly telling me that i had a "basket weaving" degree.... my first degree is a BS in communication.... even though she had not yet finished college.....something like her third attempt. Next she went after my choice of friends and a few hobbies I enjoyed, she said it was a "useless waste of time" as it turns out one of those "hobbies" pays me quite well. She said I made a poor choice in the car i bought, she said i was "stupid" for buying it.... several years later im driving the same dependable(paid for) car, while hers barely made it to three years. Throughout all of this she constantly voiced her view that i was not a "real" man. She gave regular commentary on what a real man was, what they did....etc..... i was just living in all this darkness until one day my father said to me....."son, dont spend the best years of your life trying to fix a problem you can never fix"
These days my Ex-wife is full of apologies and amazingly has no recollection of the horrible words she so frequently spoke to me; she says she just cant seem to find the right man....whatever that means....
The strangest thing looking back on all the drama, is how everyone assumed she was divorcing me... when they learned i divorced her they were completely shocked. i can only assume she told them the same evil things about me that she said to me.

Theres no doubt that some will read this and lable me a misogynist, or that i have "issues" with black women.... none of that is true. what ive said is what happened.... a clean condensed version.

It may or may not be relevant but.
she was from minnesota.

 

[SardonicGenie]

All in all, I think what we're seeing is the dissolution of a culture...

Absolutely. Although I completely understand the problems associated with women having children out of wedlock and continuing a cycle of pain and poverty for blacks when they do not procreate with the confines of marriage, I find it "extremely" interesting that there's no outcry or backlash from society against other minorities and whites who are doing the same thing. Our population is declining while everyone else's is on the incline...much of it through illegitimate births. It's just a matter of time now.....

This is something that I definitely have to nod my head in agreement with. Anytime you hear people blame a certain ethnicity for an overpopulation, welfare, crime, poverty, violence, and the like, that is destructive to society, it's always those damn 'coloreds!' :roll: Always the black people! The black people this, the black people that...

 

[SardonicGenie]

BW who only want BM? Maybe the unattractive ones? Besides, they ridicule us so much how could they ever want just BM?

I think it's pretty obvious that the vast majority of black women are interested primarily (but not exclusively) in black men.

The problem is, black women are no different from the rest of society: they're encouraged to think they're "better" than black men, know more than black men, and know black men better than they know themselves...

What's more, as in the rest of society, there's no taboo against showing hatred to a black man, not even the taboo of one's own conscience. So if they feel like it, they go for it -- even if the reason they feel like it is stupid, or selfish, or backward.

Thus the conflict...

---

I wouldn't be surprised if the birth rate among black people drops dramatically over the next few generations. As it is, most black women I know are having 1 child by a guy they then split with -- and no more. On top of that, there are *tons* of black women remaining single & childless, plus manless for loooong stretches of time...

All in all, I think what we're seeing is the dissolution of a culture...

Yea, you are completely right. To add on what you just said. Men are portrayed as moronic, inferior to women. How many times have one seen little comic antidotes, often portraying the man as stupid? I would laugh, but this mentality as 'women knows best,' is destructive to society. How can a women raise a boy to be a man, when she has no idea what a man is? These are 2 truths that no women would recognize. I see too many women telling men how to be men. They attack a man's pride, his honour, and question his masculinity. This is how women manipulate a man at will.

Again, these are all truths that nobody wants to recognize. This 'women knows best' has reduced the fatherly role to near dirt. To women of this generation, particularly in western society, a man has no place when raising a child, especially a boy. I'll be DAMNED before I let some female tell me how to raise a man. I have excellent lawyers who will see to it.

Would you say that the American media is becoming way too feminized? Everytime I watch TV these days (even though I don't like a lot of it) I can always find some angry, 'empowered' chick (mostly white) playing some star role in some hit action/drama show with a bunch of sissy, dependent men as bit players, and whenever it's a comedy, or a cartoon, or something with a man in the lead, he's always the typical buffoon that embarrasses the woman all the time, and then usually gets either yelled at by the woman, or smacked upside the head one or twice by the woman. The worst thing of all about this is the fact that there are people who are influenced by what they see in the media, whether they are aware of it or not.

 

[LUCIFERMORNINGSTAR]

Would you say that the American media is becoming way too feminized? Everytime I watch TV these days (even though I don't like a lot of it) I can always find some angry, 'empowered' chick (mostly white) playing some star role in some hit action/drama show with a bunch of sissy, dependent men as bit players, and whenever it's a comedy, or a cartoon, or something with a man in the lead, he's always the typical buffoon that embarrasses the woman all the time, and then usually gets either yelled at by the woman, or smacked upside the head one or twice by the woman. The worst thing of all about this is the fact that there are people who are influenced by what they see in the media, whether they are aware of it or not.[/quote]

Ahhh, SardonicGenie...the Force is strong in you.
:lol:
Let's see..."Everybody Loves Raymond" and other sitcoms of that ilk. Even the "Black" sitcoms do the same thing.

 

[SardonicGenie]

Re: Thank you

I agree and besides who needs a man to be happy. If you are happy and confident in your life men will come. I have plenty of men trying to talk to me even a few who want relationships.. However i don't want just anyone.

Black woman need to stop sitting at home crying and winning being angry and get out there be successful happy and men will come flocking.
And if these stupid white woman would stop paying for men's bills and forgiving after her man has cheated on her over and over men would stop the games.. But i am opening a can of worms so ill stop now.

:lol: Thank you! I saw this coming the whole time.

You prove my point. Women are stupid. But hey, if they want to continue to make pain and sorrow their foundation then that is on them. It is simple, these women are not attractive. Point black.

There are no white men coming to the rescue of these women either. Why? Why have an hooked up civic, when you have an exotic car, or maybe you are not that fancy and prefer the BMW M3. It is SIMPLE socialbiology really. Gotta love natural selection. But wait, I'm an angry, bitter, sexist pig for pointing it out. Right?

I do not know ANY attractive BW who limits her dating options to just BM. That is just moronic.

Smart women, bad choices?

And, you may be disappointed to know that America is full of black women who only want black men.

Yea, we all make bad choices, but a smart person learns from them. But, when will these women learn they are not independent? Again, by the very definition, women are in fact very dependent.

BW who only want BM? Maybe the unattractive ones? Besides, they ridicule us so much how could they ever want just BM?

Like I said, if you come to the USA one day, then you will disappointed. Whether they are hot or not, some of them still want a black man only. Maybe all of them are not foolish, Seven. Maybe it's just a personal preference, but you can't really say what it is for all of them. It all simply depends on who, but com' on, it's not like there aren't ANY happily engaged or married black women in the world, in fact, black women tend to stay married longer and be in much happier marriages than white women. I know I said that before, but I'm sayin' it again, because it's true.

And all the ones who bitch and cry about us 'no-good niggaz' and a 'shortage' or whatever, AREN'T any of those involved sistas that I mentioned.

 

[SardonicGenie]

Would you say that the American media is becoming way too feminized? Everytime I watch TV these days (even though I don't like a lot of it) I can always find some angry, 'empowered' chick (mostly white) playing some star role in some hit action/drama show with a bunch of sissy, dependent men as bit players, and whenever it's a comedy, or a cartoon, or something with a man in the lead, he's always the typical buffoon that embarrasses the woman all the time, and then usually gets either yelled at by the woman, or smacked upside the head one or twice by the woman. The worst thing of all about this is the fact that there are people who are influenced by what they see in the media, whether they are aware of it or not.

Ahhh, SardonicGenie...the Force is strong in you.
:lol:
Let's see..."Everybody Loves Raymond" and other sitcoms of that ilk. Even the "Black" sitcoms do the same thing.

Yeah, the black shows (BET and UPN) do the EXACT same thing. I must've forgotten those, LOL. :lol:

 

[fly girl]

double post edit

 

[fly girl]

Would you say that the American media is becoming way too feminized? Everytime I watch TV these days (even though I don't like a lot of it) I can always find some angry, 'empowered' chick (mostly white) playing some star role in some hit action/drama show with a bunch of sissy, dependent men as bit players, and whenever it's a comedy, or a cartoon, or something with a man in the lead, he's always the typical buffoon that embarrasses the woman all the time, and then usually gets either yelled at by the woman, or smacked upside the head one or twice by the woman. The worst thing of all about this is the fact that there are people who are influenced by what they see in the media, whether they are aware of it or not.
Ahhh, SardonicGenie...the Force is strong in you.
:lol:
Let's see..."Everybody Loves Raymond" and other sitcoms of that ilk. Even the "Black" sitcoms do the same thing.

The answer to part of this is so simply, I seriously cant believe when I hear this complaint.

The situation comedies you are so critical of are built from a MALE commedian, therefore he is the brunt of the joke. He also makes most of the money. Now, if you look at situation comedies built around female commedians (think Lucile Ball and Ellen Degeneres), you will find they play the bafoon and bear the brunt of the humor directed at them. They also make the most money.

Why dont you contemplate why more female commedians are not given their own sitcoms and allowed to make the same money as the men?