P.T.S.S. Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome

[RaiderLL]

Of course wm get a first look at vs a bm. the major point is about choices. We know racism exist....no denying that. Just don't make it harder for yourself .

Bm need to go back and help. Stop letting drug dealers be the role models.

Also you guys seen the videos ... Black students attacking teachers....wtf

These kinds of comments irk me. Just because you saw a video of a black student being an idiot doesn't mean there aren't white kids doing the same damn thing. You think Americas media is going to run with that story though?? No. They'll run with the socially acceptable "black kids are thugs" story.

Of course our children shouldn't make things harder on themselves, but can you not see how many of them are conditioned to think that's all they can do? That's all they're worth, is a life of drug dealing until death comes calling? I feel like we have a responsibility to respect the true struggle of young (in particular) black people in this country by working to lift them above what society thinks their ceiling is, not by perpetuating the vision that social media portrays of them (which is what I feel we do when we make comments like the bolded one above).

I'm not knocking you or your other point. I agree bm have a huge role in this. You guys can relate and understand our kids in a way that I can't. I'll never raise my kids to use race as "an excuse" because I know they're better than that and I'll die trying to make them stronger and more courageous than that, but I'll be damned if I can't at least empathize with why some of these kids do what they do by taking an ill fated path.

 

[goodlove]

You need to go substitute for a day or two then come talk to me. Lol
Then you will be able to tell me about the turn over rate

These kinds of comments irk me. Just because you saw a video of a black student being an idiot doesn't mean there aren't white kids doing the same damn thing. You think Americas media is going to run with that story though?? No. They'll run with the socially acceptable "black kids are thugs" story.

Of course our children shouldn't make things harder on themselves, but can you not see how many of them are conditioned to think that's all they can do? That's all they're worth, is a life of drug dealing until death comes calling? I feel like we have a responsibility to respect the true struggle of young (in particular) black people in this country by working to lift them above what society thinks their ceiling is, not by perpetuating the vision that social media portrays of them (which is what I feel we do when we make comments like the bolded one above).

I'm not knocking you or your other point. I agree bm have a huge role in this. You guys can relate and understand our kids in a way that I can't. I'll never raise my kids to use race as "an excuse" because I know they're better than that and I'll die trying to make them stronger and more courageous than that, but I'll be damned if I can't at least empathize with why some of these kids do what they do by taking an ill fated path.

 

[RaiderLL]

You need to go substitute for a day or two then come talk to me. Lol
Then you will be able to tell me about the turn over rate

I deal with disrespectful youth every day, albeit through a different profession, but I can assure you it's not just black kids acting this way. Real talk GL, until we stop accepting the brainwashing attempts of American media, trying to show every day that blacks are the "issue", we can't begin to expect better from our kids.

 

[goodlove]

I deal with disrespectful youth every day, albeit through a different profession, but I can assure you it's not just black kids acting this way. Real talk GL, until we stop accepting the brainwashing attempts of American media, trying to show every day that blacks are the "issue", we can't begin to expect better from our kids.

No shit ...its not just black kids. Who the hell is accepting the brain washing. Again go in the classroom then talk to me. Dont go as a visitor ...go as a sub. Go to a poor high school. You will sing the "wtf" song. I'm in the education industry and was in the classroom for awhile.. All over and ive seen it

We need to stop dealing with people with fluffy gloves. When these kids are 1. Shown there are better things than dealing dope
2, kids need to respect the teacher
3, learn what's being taught
4. Parents need to get on the ball

Then they will be on the road. But people want to excuse bafoonery.... Like that girl who would give up the cell phone when told to do so or the kid going at the teacher with a chair or the student knocking out the sub. When you continue that then you can't succeed. Black kids are not afforded the room to do dumb stuff.
I worked in the Carolinas and ga and its no different from state to state... Kids are kids
I love those kids but damn this can't keep going

I hated to leave but the money wasn't there
I promise you kids are kids but there just being bad. Again ask why there's a high t/o rate?

50% by year 5 and 20% in year 1. There are a slew but....the classroom is raw

 

[RaiderLL]

No shit ...its not just black kids. Who the hell is accepting the brain washing. Again go in the classroom then talk to me. Dont go as a visitor ...go as a sub. Go to a poor high school. You will sing the "wtf" song. I'm in the education industry and was in the classroom for awhile.. All over and ive seen it

We need to stop dealing with people with fluffy gloves. When these kids are 1. Shown there are better things than dealing dope
2, kids need to respect the teacher
3, learn what's being taught
4. Parents need to get on the ball

Then they will be on the road. But people want to excuse bafoonery.... Like that girl who would give up the cell phone when told to do so or the kid going at the teacher with a chair or the student knocking out the sub. When you continue that then you can't succeed. Black kids are not afforded the room to do dumb stuff.
I worked in the Carolinas and ga and its no different from state to state... Kids are kids
I love those kids but damn this can't keep going

I hated to leave but the money wasn't there
I promise you kids are kids but there just being bad. Again ask why there's a high t/o rate?

50% by year 5 and 20% in year 1. There are a slew but....the classroom is raw

To your first point, I think when people throw out comments referencing anything the media shows as "typical black behavior", you're accepting the brainwashing. Jmo.

To the second point, you and I agree thoroughly. My point from the get go here is that I can understand why bm youth sometimes end up taking the wrong path. They're shown every.single.day that that's what's expected of them. They're conditioned by the media to essentially be criminals because ultimately, if theyre conditioned like white kids in this country (you can be anything you want to be), all of a sudden they pose a threat to the American white man. White America has gotten very good at keeping their competition conditioned to think they can't amount to anything. I'm sure I'll get flack here for these statements but it's how I feel so foh lol

 

[goodlove]

Oooooh I see what you are saying. I feel you

I stand corrected then

To your first point, I think when people throw out comments referencing anything the media shows as "typical black behavior", you're accepting the brainwashing. Jmo.

To the second point, you and I agree thoroughly. My point from the get go here is that I can understand why bm youth sometimes end up taking the wrong path. They're shown every.single.day that that's what's expected of them. They're conditioned by the media to essentially be criminals because ultimately, if theyre conditioned like white kids in this country (you can be anything you want to be), all of a sudden they pose a threat to the American white man. White America has gotten very good at keeping their competition conditioned to think they can't amount to anything. I'm sure I'll get flack here for these statements but it's how I feel so foh lol

 

[Ches]

Right, but even that person you're speaking of went the "easy route" early in life. I think the difference ultimately is perseverance. Sometimes one break can show a kid that things ARE possible and that life CAN be better. There'll always be punks who want something for nothing. I'm just saying for me, it's easy to understand why some of these kids choose the wrong path. The difficult part is showing these young bm that they DO matter and that their lives ARE worth something, even in a society that continuously tries to show them different. That's the struggle imo. Changing the perception of their reality.

It's easy for me to see it too and I think it's because of what's been modeled in front of them. It's what they see in the people they look up to, whether it's family, someone in the neighborhood, rap artists, etc.

As to your comment to GL about BM "posing a threat" do you personally know any white person that says or believes that? Just curious. I hear that thrown around a lot but I've yet to meet anyone who has that fear.

 

[Gorath]

To your first point, I think when people throw out comments referencing anything the media shows as "typical black behavior", you're accepting the brainwashing. Jmo.

To the second point, you and I agree thoroughly. My point from the get go here is that I can understand why bm youth sometimes end up taking the wrong path. They're shown every.single.day that that's what's expected of them. They're conditioned by the media to essentially be criminals because ultimately, if theyre conditioned like white kids in this country (you can be anything you want to be), all of a sudden they pose a threat to the American white man. White America has gotten very good at keeping their competition conditioned to think they can't amount to anything. I'm sure I'll get flack here for these statements but it's how I feel so foh lol

It's not just the media. Many times it's a family member who is leading a life of crime. Other times, it is an act of desperation because they have no money or a job to support themselves. Many times they end up quitting school to support themselves. Every day is filled with uncertainty. They're scared and angry. They do not care because they feel no one cares about them. Any or all of these things can be triggers.

 

[RaiderLL]

It's easy for me to see it too and I think it's because of what's been modeled in front of them. It's what they see in the people they look up to, whether it's family, someone in the neighborhood, rap artists, etc.

As to your comment to GL about BM "posing a threat" do you personally know any white person that says or believes that? Just curious. I hear that thrown around a lot but I've yet to meet anyone who has that fear.

I don't think it's necessarily what's personally modeled in front of them as I know many bm raised in amazing families who walked the wrong path at one point or another. That's where strength and perseverance comes in I think. Parents can do everything right and still have their child screw up. Conditioning plays a huge role with our black youth imo.

Ive heard wm make many comments about successful bm. Of course it's spinned by saying the bm are successful only because of the need for companies to "look pc with their hirings". It's never discussed as bm threatening white Americas power but imo that's what it boils down to. Look at the support Trump has garnered. That says everything we need to know about how white america really feels. The media (and all of their sheep) are literally railroading blacks daily in an effort to keep them from reaching their potential and if not because whites feel threatened, then why? Maybe there's 100 underlying reasons but I think the feeling of their "norm" being threatened is pretty high on that list.

 

[K]

I can tell you right now.....there are a small number of bm putting in work at the rec center teaching kids bball and that's cool but that's not going to be jack if they can't read.

My point is this they need to be strong in the reading and math so they can succeed. They really need it during the summer....the erosion if what they learn happens during the summer

I have to take issue with this line of thinking. While you may see a few doing things in a few specific places....every Black man I know....EVERY has done things to give back to youth. They have different ways of doing it but that's also a good thing. I think you have to meet kids where they are and do what you can to bring your strengths to them. Not ever kid will be motivated in the same ways.

When I read some of the things you post it sure sounds like your perspective is much of what the media spouts, like Black men aren't doing their share, aren't involved fathers, etc. But you are one who is, and I'm betting that many/most you know are as well. Men on this forum have talked about things they are involved in too. Again, I think we need to shift the way we all are talking and thinking about these things. Don't add to the propaganda.

 

[K]

Ok, but now take kids in a predominantly black community. You're saying most or none of them could find jobs, even low-paying ones? But putting jobs aside, what's to say they can't make more of an effort to do well in school? You and I have both talked at length to a member of this forum who came from a bad situation as a young man but climbed out of that. Big city, lots of crime, one-parent household, death of that parent at a young age, no support from the other parent.... What makes the difference between a kid like him and these 12-14 yr-old kids who think they're tough and their only aspiration is to be lazy but rich?

SMH

You really just don't get it! This is like saying well yes there are a lot of girls who have been molested and beaten all their life but look at the one who went through a lot of crap and rose above it. Ok and that's a GREAT thing, but that doesn't mean that many/most of the women who went through similar things didn't do so well.

There's a huge difference. White kids are taught things like:

It's OK to make mistakes.
You do something wrong, it's ok just do better next time.
Take chances.
If you work hard you will succeed.

and on and on it goes. And you know what? What they SEE around them is that these things are true.

Even Black kids who are told that will look around and see how untrue that is. Because reality is:

You make a mistake - you are going to jail and you are going to go there longer than the white kid doing the same thing with you.

You do something wrong....you are fucked. You already had the cards stacked against you and now you are really going to have it tough.

Taking chances often gets you in big trouble.

If you work hard, more often than not the white counterpart is still going to get the better position.


Your argument about doing well in school. Ok look at the statistics, what makes you think they aren't doing well in school? But let's go with the belief that they aren't. Children who are in a life of chronic poverty often paired with crisis are in a survival mode. Those who do not have good nourishment, stable home life, and a feeling of safety have a very difficult time focusing on learning. Not to mention that the systems they are involved in are completely set up for failure.

 

[K]

His making it through med school paled in comparison to the fact that he destroyed his career and two marriages by the time my son graduated high school. He wasn't exactly someone he bragged about then.

My son was a good kid because he's smart, got good grades, he was responsible, respected my rules and didn't expect anything to be handed to him.

Whether you believe it or not....there's still positives that your son got from his dad and all that he did. For one thing, his dad did all sorts of things to "destroy" relationships and career in his life, but guess what....he still came out on top. He was able to see that there are endless opportunities and choices in life. He could see that no matter how much you F up you still have choices and more chances. That's a VERY different reality than what Black kids are going to see.

 

[K]

You need to go substitute for a day or two then come talk to me. Lol
Then you will be able to tell me about the turn over rate

I think the issue with kids and how they are behaving at school is 4 fold:

1. The school system is antiquated and needs to be completely overhauled to better meet the needs of our children and our society.

2. The lack of support by and for families. We have become a society that does not place importance on family.

3. The media and the celebration of bad/horrible behavior.

4. The whole pc bullshit. There is no such thing as right and wrong. Boundaries, discipline, authority has all but disappeared.


It's overwhelming, frustrating, discouraging, etc. Very tough to be in any of it and not give up.

 

[K]

It's easy for me to see it too and I think it's because of what's been modeled in front of them. It's what they see in the people they look up to, whether it's family, someone in the neighborhood, rap artists, etc.

As to your comment to GL about BM "posing a threat" do you personally know any white person that says or believes that? Just curious. I hear that thrown around a lot but I've yet to meet anyone who has that fear.

Have you worked in a major corporation where Black men and white men worked at the same levels? I ask that because I have and the threat is very real. It also can be very much like school where the white kids are goofing around doing all sorts of shit and it's tolerated and joked about. But if the Black men are doing things remotely the same, it's an issue. And the energy completely changes when the Black men come in. The expectations are different. It's like they are just waiting for them to make any little mistake and hoping they do.

If they didn't pose a threat....why are the expectations and demands higher to get ahead than for those of their white counterparts for the exact same positions?

Have you never heard things said about successful Black men...such as....oh he must be dealing drugs, pimpin, a rapper, athlete...whatever? Couldn't be that he is really intelligent, exhausted every opportunity, and excelled in his field. It couldn't be that he is a really innovative man who has made tons of money legitimately.

 

[Ches]

Have you worked in a major corporation where Black men and white men worked at the same levels? I ask that because I have and the threat is very real. It also can be very much like school where the white kids are goofing around doing all sorts of shit and it's tolerated and joked about. But if the Black men are doing things remotely the same, it's an issue. And the energy completely changes when the Black men come in. The expectations are different. It's like they are just waiting for them to make any little mistake and hoping they do.

If they didn't pose a threat....why are the expectations and demands higher to get ahead than for those of their white counterparts for the exact same positions?

Have you never heard things said about successful Black men...such as....oh he must be dealing drugs, pimpin, a rapper, athlete...whatever? Couldn't be that he is really intelligent, exhausted every opportunity, and excelled in his field. It couldn't be that he is a really innovative man who has made tons of money legitimately.

Not in my experience.

 

[Ches]

Whether you believe it or not....there's still positives that your son got from his dad and all that he did. For one thing, his dad did all sorts of things to "destroy" relationships and career in his life, but guess what....he still came out on top. He was able to see that there are endless opportunities and choices in life. He could see that no matter how much you F up you still have choices and more chances. That's a VERY different reality than what Black kids are going to see.

My son was grown by the time those things became evident. My son spent most of the last 20 years thinking his dad was an asshole. Now he's just a rich one.

 

[Beasty]

My son was grown by the time those things became evident. My son spent most of the last 20 years thinking his dad was an asshole. Now he's just a rich one.

If everyone recongnizes you in your hometown because you look like your dad, it matters if he was a doctor or crack dealer.

Who your parents were and what they did has always mattered. The IRS and FBI won't even hire you if your dad was a felon.

 

[Ches]

If everyone recongnizes you in your hometown because you look like your dad, it matters if he was a doctor or crack dealer.

Who your parents were and what they did has always mattered. The IRS and FBI won't even hire you if your dad was a felon.

I get that but in my son's case no one in our hometown knows his dad. No one outside of my family.

 

[K]

I get that but in my son's case no one in our hometown knows his dad. No one outside of my family.

Ches...it's not about your son. It's about Black kids and how things are different for them. Do you really not think that your son has advantages that average Black children (boys especially) haven't been provided?

Part of the issue with it all is that people are not seeing past their own very limited view of their own family, neighborhood, etc. If you can't really understand and see the problems it makes it impossible to make any changes. And quite frankly, if you are really one who's interested in being in a relationship with a Black man, it seems like it would be important to do what you can to understand.

 

[The Dark King]

SMH

You really just don't get it! This is like saying well yes there are a lot of girls who have been molested and beaten all their life but look at the one who went through a lot of crap and rose above it. Ok and that's a GREAT thing, but that doesn't mean that many/most of the women who went through similar things didn't do so well.

There's a huge difference. White kids are taught things like:

It's OK to make mistakes.
You do something wrong, it's ok just do better next time.
Take chances.
If you work hard you will succeed.

and on and on it goes. And you know what? What they SEE around them is that these things are true.

Even Black kids who are told that will look around and see how untrue that is. Because reality is:

You make a mistake - you are going to jail and you are going to go there longer than the white kid doing the same thing with you.

You do something wrong....you are fucked. You already had the cards stacked against you and now you are really going to have it tough.

Taking chances often gets you in big trouble.

If you work hard, more often than not the white counterpart is still going to get the better position.


Your argument about doing well in school. Ok look at the statistics, what makes you think they aren't doing well in school? But let's go with the belief that they aren't. Children who are in a life of chronic poverty often paired with crisis are in a survival mode. Those who do not have good nourishment, stable home life, and a feeling of safety have a very difficult time focusing on learning. Not to mention that the systems they are involved in are completely set up for failure.

Whether you believe it or not....there's still positives that your son got from his dad and all that he did. For one thing, his dad did all sorts of things to "destroy" relationships and career in his life, but guess what....he still came out on top. He was able to see that there are endless opportunities and choices in life. He could see that no matter how much you F up you still have choices and more chances. That's a VERY different reality than what Black kids are going to see.

Have you worked in a major corporation where Black men and white men worked at the same levels? I ask that because I have and the threat is very real. It also can be very much like school where the white kids are goofing around doing all sorts of shit and it's tolerated and joked about. But if the Black men are doing things remotely the same, it's an issue. And the energy completely changes when the Black men come in. The expectations are different. It's like they are just waiting for them to make any little mistake and hoping they do.

If they didn't pose a threat....why are the expectations and demands higher to get ahead than for those of their white counterparts for the exact same positions?

Have you never heard things said about successful Black men...such as....oh he must be dealing drugs, pimpin, a rapper, athlete...whatever? Couldn't be that he is really intelligent, exhausted every opportunity, and excelled in his field. It couldn't be that he is a really innovative man who has made tons of money legitimately.

You saved me so much writing absolutely brilliant. Wish I could rep you.
Might I also add Ches using her son as a constant example is incredibly myopic even by sheltered white standards. And why do we use anomalies as thr norm? Yes some do rise above but like I said before instead of applauding the kid for running fast with concrete shoes can we please address the fact that so many kids have concrete shoes?
When you praise the lucky ones for getting out it makes those who don't responsible in way that's completely unfair and unreasonable.