Politics of Love: Upcoming Black/Indian Romance Flick

LA said:
It's beyond rare to see a middle eastern person dating outside of their culture.
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I must admit a level of surprise that people here haven't experienced relationships with other "brown" people, and doubt that such relationships occur. As I reflected on why I seem to have such different experiences I wondered if it was a function of the age of the guys here, or exposure to other cultures. Like a lot of people on this site I have experienced relationships with people from many backgrounds, including WW, East Asians and Middle Easterners.

I have had many opportunities to engage women of other cultures as a result of educational pursuits, a culturally diverse circle of acquaintances, an innate interest in other cultures and travel. If we consider the increase in WWBM relationships, don't we believe that a significant aspect of this increase is based on increased contact with BM and exposure in workplaces and other areas? Doesn't this increase in contact allow WW to consider for themselves, outside of the stereotypes they may have heard, that BM may be eligible dating and marriage partners?

So, why should it be any different for other "brown" people to feel similarly, when given that opportunity, especially when these people are less affected by historical and generational racism against BM?
 
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swirlman07 said:
Well, I guess that my experiences are not typical then. I lived in the Midwest, in Illinois and Michigan. I dated several, five real relationships, Pakistani and Indian American ladies during the time I lived there. I met one lady through her brother, who was an engineer and worked with me. I met another through a mutual friend. I met another online, and so on. Many of these families still practiced arranged marriages. The engineer that I mentioned had an arranged marriage.

I knew of another Pakistani guy whose best friend in University was an African, and a fellow Muslim. He thought so highly of the African that he asked the guy to marry his sister, and they were married. When I lived in Florida a few years ago, I met a father and son who owned a very large contracting company. I surprised the son on one occasion by speaking a bit of Urdu, the native language of Pakistanis. He later showed me a picture of his nephews and nieces and told me that his sister was married to an African American.

My experience has been that the parents want their children to marry well. Many of the parents understand that the children want "love" marriages rather than "arranged" marriages. If the candidates for marriage chosen by their children are "good catches" they typically accept them. I was NEVER treated badly by Indian or Pakistani families or friends of the women I dated. I spent a lot of time in their communities at social gatherings, large dinner parties with many couples as guests, festive and religious occasions, Ramadan dinners, Indian Independence day festivals, musical concerts like Nasrut Ali Khan, a world famous Pakistani musician who collaborated with Peter Gabriel and other Western artists, as well as the typical dating fare that couples enjoy.

You also have to realize that many Asians live on their own, away from the influence of parents and often pursue relationships with whomever they choose. Interesting enough, for all of the "images" and portrayals of the meek and withdrawn Asian woman, you can find your share of true "party girls" who are Asian as well.

It may be a shock for some, but I often found it as easier to have a relationship with Asian women than White women.
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Same. Born and raised there.

Your experience are contrary to what a lot on here have experienced.
 
In academia it's not that rare, IMO. Postgrad, undergrad.
If you're some random trying to pull up on an Indian chick that can be a mixed bag, however.

2nd and 3rd generation Indians and Pakis in the U.S. have in many cases vastly different views on race and dating.

But if you're some busta thinking why isn't ol' girl digging my grille, expect to be dissed!!!:smt020

BTW, what the fuck is that movie about??

That trailer was like, HUH???
 
swirlman07 said:
I must admit a level of surprise that people here haven't experienced relationships with other "brown" people, and doubt that such relationships occur. As I reflected on why I seem to have such different experiences I wondered if it was a function of the age of the guys here, or exposure to other cultures. Like a lot of people on this site I have experienced relationships with people from many backgrounds, including WW, East Asians and Middle Easterners.

I have had many opportunities to engage women of other cultures as a result of educational pursuits, a culturally diverse circle of acquaintances, an innate interest in other cultures and travel. If we consider the increase in WWBM relationships, don't we believe that a significant aspect of this increase is based on increased contact with BM and exposure in workplaces and other areas? Doesn't this increase in contact allow WW to consider for themselves, outside of the stereotypes they may have heard, that BM may be eligible dating and marriage partners?

So, why should it be any different for other "brown" people to feel similarly, when given that opportunity, especially when these people are less affected by historical and generational racism against BM?
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i think one of the reasons this seems so unlikely within the indian culture...no matter how immersed they become in american business and interaction...the commitment to their heritage seems unwavering...leaving outsiders out of the realm of possibility...the family structure means everything in indian culture...my friend is divorced which is very rare...she worries that her divorce will effect how her daughter is selected as well as if her son will be considered viable...fortunately she still have very strong family ties in dubai and pakistan with noble professions...her children no matter how americanized will only marry within their culture/religion...her daughter looks like she could be a prada model and i was very curious if she dated outside...she is now in university and does not date but has has several meetings with indian men...something really funny is many indian women look at indian men as potential...i have seen several before/after pics...this is what he looked like when i first met him...this is what he looks like now...women accept men based on family wealth...occupation...earning potential...the rest they will work with...i am completely fascinated by the culture and could listen for hours to my friend's family stories...
 
lipstick said:
i think one of the reasons this seems so unlikely within the indian culture...no matter how immersed they become in american business and interaction...the commitment to their heritage seems unwavering...leaving outsiders out of the realm of possibility...the family structure means everything in indian culture...my friend is divorced which is very rare...she worries that her divorce will effect how her daughter is selected as well as if her son will be considered viable...fortunately she still have very strong family ties in dubai and pakistan with noble professions...her children no matter how americanized will only marry within their culture/religion...her daughter looks like she could be a prada model and i was very curious if she dated outside...she is now in university and does not date but has has several meetings with indian men...something really funny is many indian women look at indian men as potential...i have seen several before/after pics...this is what he looked like when i first met him...this is what he looks like now...women accept men based on family wealth...occupation...earning potential...the rest they will work with...i am completely fascinated by the culture and could listen for hours to my friend's family stories...
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No culture is monolithic. While I respect your friendship with the with the Indian woman, it's no indication of the thoughts, practices and beliefs of other, or even most Asian women, whether they are Indian or Pakistani. I know of several Asian marriages where the women are physicians, the high earners in the family, so the wealth or earning power of their spouses was not important. Perhaps, you are also aware of the Indian woman politician, who's married to a WM, recently in the news because her "secondary lover" outed her. These are just anecdotes but they indicate that Asians are not much different than the rest of society. They are just as affected by changes in their culture and Western culture. You are correct about the incidence of divorce being lower in those communities, but it's rising. The formerly lower rate of divorce, IMO, is more a reflection of the social mores in a male dominated culture. However, just as this changed in the U.S, so it's changing in the Asian community and divorce is on the rise as women fight for equality in marriages and consider their own happiness.

Attempting to paint the culture with a stereotypical view is as wrong as those who make assumptions about any other races or cultures. To assume otherwise is no different than a white woman meeting a well endowed black man as her first black lover and assuming that all black men are so endowed. One belief is as untrue as the other...

I have the benefit of having experienced the good, bad and ugly or their cultures rather than a perspective filtered through one person who admittedly holds feelings of guilt for her life choices. It would be very easy for someone is her situation to "uplift" the entire culture as a counterbalance for her own misgivings. I have lived in those communities in a very intimate way, with several different people, and have a real life perspective on the cultures. That's what I attempted to share in an effort to provide a balanced view of the reality of the culture.
 
andreboba said:
In academia it's not that rare, IMO. Postgrad, undergrad.
If you're some random trying to pull up on an Indian chick that can be a mixed bag, however.

2nd and 3rd generation Indians and Pakis in the U.S. have in many cases vastly different views on race and dating.

But if you're some busta thinking why isn't ol' girl digging my grille, expect to be dissed!!!:smt020

BTW, what the fuck is that movie about??

That trailer was like, HUH???
Click to expand...


I think that you are correct.
 
swirlman07 said:
No culture is monolithic. While I respect your friendship with the with the Indian woman, it's no indication of the thoughts, practices and beliefs of other, or even most Asian women, whether they are Indian or Pakistani. I know of several Asian marriages where the women are physicians, the high earners in the family, so the wealth or earning power of their spouses was not important. Perhaps, you are also aware of the Indian woman politician, who's married to a WM, recently in the news because her "secondary lover" outed her. These are just anecdotes but they indicate that Asians are not much different than the rest of society. They are just as affected by changes in their culture and Western culture. You are correct about the incidence of divorce being lower in those communities, but it's rising. The formerly lower rate of divorce, IMO, is more a reflection of the social mores in a male dominated culture. However, just as this changed in the U.S, so it's changing in the Asian community and divorce is on the rise as women fight for equality in marriages and consider their own happiness.

Attempting to paint the culture with a stereotypical view is as wrong as those who make assumptions about any other races or cultures. To assume otherwise is no different than a white woman meeting a well endowed black man as her first black lover and assuming that all black men are so endowed. One belief is as untrue as the other...

I have the benefit of having experienced the good, bad and ugly or their cultures rather than a perspective filtered through one person who admittedly holds feelings of guilt for her life choices. It would be very easy for someone is her situation to "uplift" the entire culture as a counterbalance for her own misgivings. I have lived in those communities in a very intimate way, with several different people, and have a real life perspective on the cultures. That's what I attempted to share in an effort to provide a balanced view of the reality of the culture.
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i'm sorry if i gave you the wrong impression...my friend and all of her close friends are well educated holding high earning jobs...they drip in designer clothes and shoes...drive mercedes and bmw...live in enormous homes...their kids go to private schools...they travel often...

i do understand what you mean as far as stereotypes...my experience/knowledge is limited...look at how far bm/ww IR has come...this could also be the future of asian cultures...thanks for sharing your experiences...
 
I dated an Indian guy when I did my post-doc. 1st generation immigrant, doing his grad work in Houston. I cant be the only one here?


swirlman07 said:
I must admit a level of surprise that people here haven't experienced relationships with other "brown" people, and doubt that such relationships occur. As I reflected on why I seem to have such different experiences I wondered if it was a function of the age of the guys here, or exposure to other cultures. Like a lot of people on this site I have experienced relationships with people from many backgrounds, including WW, East Asians and Middle Easterners.

I have had many opportunities to engage women of other cultures as a result of educational pursuits, a culturally diverse circle of acquaintances, an innate interest in other cultures and travel. If we consider the increase in WWBM relationships, don't we believe that a significant aspect of this increase is based on increased contact with BM and exposure in workplaces and other areas? Doesn't this increase in contact allow WW to consider for themselves, outside of the stereotypes they may have heard, that BM may be eligible dating and marriage partners?

So, why should it be any different for other "brown" people to feel similarly, when given that opportunity, especially when these people are less affected by historical and generational racism against BM?
Click to expand...
 
FG said:
I dated an Indian guy when I did my post-doc. 1st generation immigrant, doing his grad work in Houston. I cant be the only one here?
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Hooked up with an Indian girl in hs who dated one of my boys. She's married to another Indian investment banker though.
 
Excellent drop, BigBrotherWise.:smt024

People talk like BM/IW relationships are the 'pink unicorns' of male/female couplings!!lol
 
They're rare, so people may get the impression it's mere fantasy. But I do know Indian women personally who would consider keeping an open mind, despite their parents attitudes. I was helping out a friend of mine today regarding a paper she has to do. She's from South India and very sweet with her smile and long for desire. I actually conversed with her a lot about stuff and one thing we both brought up was relationships and I boldly asked her if she found me attractive and would she consider dating me? Her response was a bit of a surprise. She said, "Yes." She finds me funny. But at the same time, she still see me as like a brotherly figure, but slowly leaving that part away.

andreboba said:
Excellent drop, BigBrotherWise.:smt024

People talk like BM/IW relationships are the 'pink unicorns' of male/female couplings!!lol
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The movie along with Mississippi Masala and Bhaji On The Beach mentions the relationship of Brothers and West Indian woman.
 
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