Random Conversation 2.0

[RaiderLL]

I have no doubt she would, I just like to think ahead financially. Things are good today but doesn't mean they always will be and I think more about need than want. Even shit I want has some utility, like that dream machine the Tesla S. Yeah its a high ass price tag but you spend about 300 to 400 bucks on energy and it can't be charged at home. At least for that high price tag I save in other ways. I just don't get why jewelry means so damn much, it makes no sense. I'd rather her push for something expensive that makes sense and that we both get to use. I'd rather write a check to kill her student loans than the ring thing.

One of the biggest pieces of a successful relationship imo is recognizing that you don't need to agree with her in her idea that an engagement ring is important but you do need to respect the fact that it's important to her. If you love her (and want to spend your life with her), I guarantee you there's a compromise somewhere in the middle that would appease you both. I think it's so cool that you want to be prepared for the "what ifs" and "worst-cases" in life...but don't spend so much time worrying and preparing for life that you forget to actually live it. Balance is a beautiful thing my friend.

On a side note, I totally wanna go ring shopping with you! I'll be quiet the whole time if you just let me try on every ring you look at. I wear a 7, most display rings are a 7...it just makes sense to bring me

 

[FG]

Especially if the marriage ends up in divorce!

That was my first thought. But she was weird anyhow. She told me she, and her husband eat out every night (lives in NY) and didntnreally invest in their retirement, other than the pension our company provide and didn't contribute more than 4% to the 401K she got fired for not following our FDA policy, which is an sure thing to get you fired. Actually, the day after we hired her, my boss got an anonymous phone call from her prior job to not hire her and after she got fired from us 4 years ago, she has had several positions, getting fired from all. Her son dropped out of Yale to go to live on a kibbutz but came back home to mom when he realized how hard you had to work. The whole family was a mess. The daughter was the only one that made any sense, so hopefully it worked out.

This conversation prompted me to talk to my gf about her thoughts about engagement rings.
I told her I don't get it and really don't like the idea of spending thousands of dollars on jewelry. Well needless to say that shit did not go over well in the Knight household lol.
All she kept saying but its tradition its tradition. I would have been more open if she simply said it's just something she wanted but just saying it's tradition is lame. She made it clear no ring, no marriage. I don't want this to be a deal breaker but am I wrong for favoring financial responsibility. What if I lose my job then that's thousands of dollars that could have been spent on food and living expenses. It's not like a car that has utility or at the very least a vacation where its for both of us. I'm beginning to see this whole engagement ring thing is incredibly selfish on the female's part because there will never come a time where a woman can reciprocate in the same way. I seriously don't get it.

Absolutely nothing wrong with that, I'm with you 100% but you probably would have to meet in the middle on an issue like that when she is as hard on her stance as you are on yours. Your gf may be looking at your dream car as much as a waste of money as you look at that ring. And she has a point

 

[The Dark King]

One of the biggest pieces of a successful relationship imo is recognizing that you don't need to agree with her in her idea that an engagement ring is important but you do need to respect the fact that it's important to her. If you love her (and want to spend your life with her), I guarantee you there's a compromise somewhere in the middle that would appease you both. I think it's so cool that you want to be prepared for the "what ifs" and "worst-cases" in life...but don't spend so much time worrying and preparing for life that you forget to actually live it. Balance is a beautiful thing my friend.

On a side note, I totally wanna go ring shopping with you! I'll be quiet the whole time if you just let me try on every ring you look at. I wear a 7, most display rings are a 7...it just makes sense to bring me

She has little hands like you so that might help lol
And there really is no compromise either I spend the money or I gotta deal with a daily attitude lol

 

[RaiderLL]

She has little hands like you so that might help lol
And there really is no compromise either I spend the money or I gotta deal with a daily attitude lol

:smt043 I meant compromise on her idea of size/cost...not finding a way to compromise you out of having to get her a ring at all lol.

 

[Tamstrong]

70k on a wedding is down right irresponsible! I had a coworker who spent that on her daghters wedding a few years ago. I thought she was insane.in agree, a small intimate affair seems more memorable and appropriate anyhow.if I would have married, it would have been a few family/friends on a beautiful beech or something.

Yep. If I ever get married, small & intimate is what I want.

70,000 for a wedding is insane. I can't imagine how the money made any difference. Can't even remember who got married at the last wedding I went to. What a waste of money.

I can't imagine why spending that much makes a difference either.

70k would be better spent on something I can live in and/or drive at least there is some type of utility. My God people are just weird.

Live in, yes. I wouldn't spend 70k on a ride either.

I see where you coming from when you say it would have been better if she said it was just something that she wanted. Don't really see why it should be a deal breaker tho. If you did lose your job then wouldn't she have your back? If not then that should be the deal breaker.

Agreed. There's no reason it should be a deal breaker.

Lol@ it makes no sense. You right about that. I guess the difference is that I don't have the expectation of logic in relationships. (or when dealing with people at all for that matter.) I just see an area where I can compromise and another area where I cant, but Im no expert in the matter.

Amen. "Expert on the matter" or not, you have a great way of looking at it IMO.

One of the biggest pieces of a successful relationship imo is recognizing that you don't need to agree with her in her idea that an engagement ring is important but you do need to respect the fact that it's important to her. If you love her (and want to spend your life with her), I guarantee you there's a compromise somewhere in the middle that would appease you both. I think it's so cool that you want to be prepared for the "what ifs" and "worst-cases" in life...but don't spend so much time worrying and preparing for life that you forget to actually live it. Balance is a beautiful thing my friend.

Great points, Raider. Balance is indeed a beautiful thing.

That was my first thought. But she was weird anyhow. She told me she, and her husband eat out every night (lives in NY) and didntnreally invest in their retirement, other than the pension our company provide and didn't contribute more than 4% to the 401K she got fired for not following our FDA policy, which is an sure thing to get you fired. Actually, the day after we hired her, my boss got an anonymous phone call from her prior job to not hire her and after she got fired from us 4 years ago, she has had several positions, getting fired from all. Her son dropped out of Yale to go to live on a kibbutz but came back home to mom when he realized how hard you had to work. The whole family was a mess. The daughter was the only one that made any sense, so hopefully it worked out.



Absolutely nothing wrong with that, I'm with you 100% but you probably would have to meet in the middle on an issue like that when she is as hard on her stance as you are on yours. Your gf may be looking at your dream car as much as a waste of money as you look at that ring. And she has a point

Yep. One again, it's about balance & compromise.

 

[orejon4]

Just saw a great ku fung classic - "The Avenging Eagle" - with Ti Lung and Alexander Fu Sheng on the El Rey Network. I was almost expecting to hear Wu Tang Clan's latest in the background lol.

 

[The Dark King]

That was my first thought. But she was weird anyhow. She told me she, and her husband eat out every night (lives in NY) and didntnreally invest in their retirement, other than the pension our company provide and didn't contribute more than 4% to the 401K she got fired for not following our FDA policy, which is an sure thing to get you fired. Actually, the day after we hired her, my boss got an anonymous phone call from her prior job to not hire her and after she got fired from us 4 years ago, she has had several positions, getting fired from all. Her son dropped out of Yale to go to live on a kibbutz but came back home to mom when he realized how hard you had to work. The whole family was a mess. The daughter was the only one that made any sense, so hopefully it worked out.



Absolutely nothing wrong with that, I'm with you 100% but you probably would have to meet in the middle on an issue like that when she is as hard on her stance as you are on yours. Your gf may be looking at your dream car as much as a waste of money as you look at that ring. And she has a point

Um no the Tesla S is life and life is the Tesla S. I dare you to test drive it and tell me its a waste lol. And at least we can both use it

 

[archangel]

Um no the Tesla S is life and life is the Tesla S. I dare you to test drive it and tell me its a waste lol. And at least we can both use it

hmmm mpg is pretty high but I don't think it makes up for the price. It is like buying a brand new video game but knowing if you wait long enough the price will drop.

 

[The Dark King]

hmmm mpg is pretty high but I don't think it makes up for the price. It is like buying a brand new video game but knowing if you wait long enough the price will drop.

It has very little moving parts which means less need for repairs and it only 300 to 400 dollars a year in energy costs

 

[archangel]

I am now noticing how expensive it is to buy a freaking chair. I might try ebay.

 

[FG]

It has very little moving parts which means less need for repairs and it only 300 to 400 dollars a year in energy costs

Plus it devaluates the moment you leave the lot. No car is a good investment

OK rant on:
My sister boyfriend has now lived with me for 2 months while he is waiting for his Swedish visa. He is american and are marrying in with her if/when he get the visa. He has no job and lives with me for free. In have given him a list of tasks to do in return for free room, water, electricity and internet. So far only one has been done, he fixed my door jamb that was cracked to my garage. Tookm4 nights without a door to my garage. No other tasks completed. I asked him to change 10 outdated outlets, so far, not completed. Trmming off entrance to kitchen between tile and hardwood floors, not completed. Weatherstrip to my entrance, not completed. He started paining his bathroom 6 weeks ago. Only sanded and base painted it, nothing more.
He only comes out of his room to get food and make a complete mess in the kitchen. Leavesm dirty, and clean dishes in the sink for days and weeks withoutnremiving them. Dont clean countertops or anything else after done and cut things directly on my granite countertops. Leaves his laundry in for days and when I cook and give him food, he has not once said 'thank you'. Not once. When I tell him to use a cutting board or clean the kitchen after use, he responds with 'uhum'. He is fucking 42 years old! He had an interview for a job a week ago, missed it with an hour and insinuated it was my fault as I didn't drive him - I have a fucking job, not my responsibility to get him to his fucking interview. Doesn't shower everyday.
Yesterday, I had a few friends over for pizza and drinks and he helped himself to the food and wine without asking and then went to bed.
I'm so fucking irritated!!!!!!!!!! Argh!!!
If I was living for free in a strangers house, I would go out of my way to fund ways to contribute and keep things clean, but maybe that is just me. I love my sister, she is just as messy as him so that is fine, they get along well. But geeeezzuuuzzzz, he doesn't know me and shows zero respect for my home and what I do for him/my sister. Rant over

 

[4north1side2]

Plus it devaluates the moment you leave the lot. No car is a good investment

OK rant on:
My sister boyfriend has now lived with me for 2 months while he is waiting for his Swedish visa. He is american and are marrying in with her if/when he get the visa. He has no job and lives with me for free. In have given him a list of tasks to do in return for free room, water, electricity and internet. So far only one has been done, he fixed my door jamb that was cracked to my garage. Tookm4 nights without a door to my garage. No other tasks completed. I asked him to change 10 outdated outlets, so far, not completed. Trmming off entrance to kitchen between tile and hardwood floors, not completed. Weatherstrip to my entrance, not completed. He started paining his bathroom 6 weeks ago. Only sanded and base painted it, nothing more.
He only comes out of his room to get food and make a complete mess in the kitchen. Leavesm dirty, and clean dishes in the sink for days and weeks withoutnremiving them. Dont clean countertops or anything else after done and cut things directly on my granite countertops. Leaves his laundry in for days and when I cook and give him food, he has not once said 'thank you'. Not once. When I tell him to use a cutting board or clean the kitchen after use, he responds with 'uhum'. He is fucking 42 years old! He had an interview for a job a week ago, missed it with an hour and insinuated it was my fault as I didn't drive him - I have a fucking job, not my responsibility to get him to his fucking interview. Doesn't shower everyday.
Yesterday, I had a few friends over for pizza and drinks and he helped himself to the food and wine without asking and then went to bed.
I'm so fucking irritated!!!!!!!!!! Argh!!!
If I was living for free in a strangers house, I would go out of my way to fund ways to contribute and keep things clean, but maybe that is just me. I love my sister, she is just as messy as him so that is fine, they get along well. But geeeezzuuuzzzz, he doesn't know me and shows zero respect for my home and what I do for him/my sister. Rant over

And people say I'm far too nice, his lazy non contributing big baby ass gots to go. Your sister shouldn't marry that guy. If he's like that with you, he's going to be even worse with his sister. I made some major life changes and moved in with my cousin for 2 months, on top of paying him what an effencicy apartment averages around here, I still respected his house rules, cleaned up and helped out when I could.

 

[The Dark King]

And people say I'm far too nice, his lazy non contributing big baby ass gots to go. Your sister shouldn't marry that guy. If he's like that with you, he's going to be even worse with his sister. I made some major life changes and moved in with my cousin for 2 months, on top of paying him what an effencicy apartment averages around here, I still respected his house rules, cleaned up and helped out when I could.

Cosign but I wonder if dude is doing this shit cause she's a female.
I wish a negro would

 

[Cherok33]

FG, that fool needs to GO! Right now! Just get out!

 

[RaiderLL]

And people say I'm far too nice, his lazy non contributing big baby ass gots to go. Your sister shouldn't marry that guy. If he's like that with you, he's going to be even worse with his sister. I made some major life changes and moved in with my cousin for 2 months, on top of paying him what an effencicy apartment averages around here, I still respected his house rules, cleaned up and helped out when I could.

This.

FG are you comfortable speaking with your sister about his habits? Me and my little sister are bff's and I know it's difficult but I've had to have the come to Jesus meetings with her before about a few of her choices in men. As her sister, I think it's important that you look out for her and clue her in to what a douche this guy is. She may not listen but at least you can rest comfortably knowing you tried to warn her! Heck, have a sit down with him and let him know you expect for your house to be respected if he chooses to stay there.

So sorry you're dealing with this but if I were you I'd try to get through to either him or your sister. Whatever you're more comfortable with. Good luck gorgeous :freehug:

 

[SexyBaltimorean]

^^RaiderLL, great points. Sorry you're going through this, FG...

 

[lippy]

This conversation prompted me to talk to my gf about her thoughts about engagement rings.
I told her I don't get it and really don't like the idea of spending thousands of dollars on jewelry. Well needless to say that shit did not go over well in the Knight household lol.
All she kept saying but its tradition its tradition. I would have been more open if she simply said it's just something she wanted but just saying it's tradition is lame. She made it clear no ring, no marriage. I don't want this to be a deal breaker but am I wrong for favoring financial responsibility. What if I lose my job then that's thousands of dollars that could have been spent on food and living expenses. It's not like a car that has utility or at the very least a vacation where its for both of us. I'm beginning to see this whole engagement ring thing is incredibly selfish on the female's part because there will never come a time where a woman can reciprocate in the same way. I seriously don't get it.

Power tools
Sporting equipment
tesla

Women make financial concessions all the time by not objecting to the things men want to buy for themselves

Motorcycle
Boat
Jet skis
Long board

Just saying...that there are trade offs ...when the mid life crisis sets in for men the first thing they want is the car they could never afford...his wife looks at the ring on her finger and says...if it will make you happy honey go ahead and buy it...the kitchen remodel can wait

 

[lippy]

FG, that fool needs to GO! Right now! Just get out!

This^ I would have bounced his butt after the first week if he had not given me a timeline on each project request.

 

[Stizzy]

Power tools FUCK YEAH!!
Sporting equipment but it's for her too! Lol
tesla nah, CTS-V

Women make financial concessions all the time by not objecting to the things men want to buy for themselves

Motorcycle been there done that, might do it again lol
Boat not
Jet skis not
Long board not

Just saying...that there are trade offs ...when the mid life crisis sets in for men the first thing they want is the car they could never afford...DAMN, I hit that at 20 AND IM STILL IN IT!!! Lolhis wife looks at the ring on her finger and says...if it will make you happy honey go ahead and buy it...the kitchen remodel can waitFUCK NO!! Those power tools mentioned above will play a major role in this!!!!

Fixed^^^^^^^^^

 

[pettyofficerj]

I am now noticing how expensive it is to buy a freaking chair. I might try ebay.

Lol...u can afford it, young money