Man....
Hey Solar, man, you have finally given me the answer that I, as a black man, was looking for.
I have been trying to figure out for years how to nullify the racial equation in this racist, anti-black male, country. Sometimes, it seems that if you are a black man, no matter what you do, you will still not be able to live a full life, due to being black and male, that was why I was almost ready to give up on everything; even though I have no kids, have my own apartment, computer knowledge, and etc. It seems like the only thing people see is your skin color, and many of them treat you accordingly. I have no baggage whatsoever, and I still felt like a total loser; and it is all due to the way that black men are treated in this society. You can be a great black man, and most people will try their damnedest to overlook you; if they can.
This country can, and does, make a black man feel like total crap. When I first came to California, I was beaming with confidence, however, after experiencing a whole lot of racism from everybody, I felt like total crap. It was like I no longer knew who I was anymore. I felt like a loser; but when I first came out here, I was getting straight A's in school. When I wasn't aware of the racism in society, because I came from a place in VA where the city was basically majority black, so I experienced very little racism, I was outdoing most students in my classes; black, white, Asian, etc., I was able to focus with my whole mind; something that I haven't been able to do for years since then. Hell, I took Chinese and got an A in it both times.
As I started experiencing more racism, my focus on my studies came to a complete stop. I no longer cared how I did in school; because I didn't think getting an education would make me any more desirable in this racist society. It got to the point where I didn't care about anything anymore. We receive so much unwarranted, and unbridled hostility from this racist society, and the majority of the people in it, that it will choke the life out of any high-spirited black man, which was what I USED to be.
The outright nastiness that we get from people would sadden anyone in the same circumstance; because you will spend most of your life trying to understand why many people in this society hate you, and ONLY you, for nothing. I am telling you, a person has to be a black man, and particularly a young one, to see what black men are saying. We take a whole lotta crap from people; and if you aren't careful, all the hatred that your receive will make you sheepish, and cowardly. You begin to act like that because you truly begin to feel like you are less.
When you look around, the only thing you see is White men with women of every flavor; including black women. Whereas black men, even if you are good looking, most women will try their damnedest to overlook you; because to most women, the average black man is a broke ass man with no future. I always used to think that women truly wanted a good man. Man, I haven't been more mistaken. My biggest problem was that I was trying understand women with a male mind; which deals only in logic.
For the life of me, I could never understand why women love money so damn much. If you look at the average female, they will do almost anything for money, or a man with means. As a man that is hard to understand, because most men require very little to be happy. All of my friends are just happy tinkering around with their gadgets. Most men don't need much, that is what I have observed from just studying myself and others.
Women; however, are a totally different animal entirely. From what I have seen in women, they are attracted to shiny things, anything that shows wealth. I could never understand why a woman would hop in a car with a man she barely knows because his ride is tight. Or I could never understand how an attractive woman of color could wind up with some old white geezer. I also couldn't understand why white men are the most sought after men in this society. However, from what I have seen, many white men have always known the secret to success: MONEY.
I notice many white men don't play around when it comes to the cheddar. They know that the more money you get, the more women you get as well. That is why when I was working, I would see young white males preparing their 401 k plans. These cats know something that black men don't know; many of them know how to play the damn game. It works for them too; as every woman in this country's ideal man is a damn white one. Don't believe, look at the personals, almost all of the women are seeking white men.
As a black man, I find the personal on this site very insulting. Many of these white women are sexually attracted to black men, and probably always have been, but they ain't about to give up that white male security to be with one. Look at the ADS!! They are pathetic, and any black man with an ounce of self-respect would be disgusted by them; as well as the looks of many of the white women in them. Many of them look old and wrinkled, they are in their 40's, and many of their still married to their white hubbies. Who in the hell wants that mess? Not to mention, they just look disgusting. I don't want to see a naked pic of some wrinkled white woman's snatch. I'm cool on that.
I don't like the way many of these white women try to come to a black man when they are all old and over the hill. I don't like that mess at all. Don't come to us when all of your best years are behind you; and you can't even bear kids anymore, I don't want that.
From the looks of many white women's profiles on here, you can tell that many of them don't view the black man as a human being, much less, a damn equal. The fact that they think that black men would get a rise out of those gross ads is insulting in itself. Half of the profiles I don't even click on them, because they are gross. Almost every other one says Adult content. No, thanks, I don't want to see that mess.
However, I have been looking for an answer for years to how to effectively deal, and deal successfully, in a racist system where you are seen as almost completely undesirable; even though you could be a nice looking brother. Most women can even think you are handsome. However, unless you are a Boris Kudjoe clone, you can forget about trumping the racial equation with many women in this society.
Many of them will actually TRY to overlook you, it is nothing innocent about the way people treat you in American Society. They are trying their best not to even see you; especially women. They will only acknowledge you if you are so striking, or so loaded with money that they don't have a choice but to. However, the average black man who is trying to do the damn thing in American Society, and be regular can just forget it. I have seen that the hard way. Most women won't even acknowledge you at best, and many of them will literally RUN when they see you coming at worst.
It is not just a black woman thing either. That is how ALL women act upon the sight of a young black man. I experience it continuously; every damn day I go outside my front door. Honestly, they way people treat you, especially women, will turn you into a bitter man. You get tired of being treated like the damn Grinch who stole Christmas everyday. You find yourself looking around at guys of other races, and how the women treat them normally. While many women treat you like something to be feared.
I don't know how it is in New York Bruh, but I do see how many of these women act in the bay area. The irony of it, is that the bay area is full of interracial relationships, however, black men experience an alarming amount of prejudice out here. I used to think it was just me, but nah, it isn't. What I see is very real; and I was getting depressed over it, because I didn't know the strategy I needed to effectively deal with it. For a long time, I didn't think that there was anything I could do to deal with it. I have been in and out of school, because I didn't think having a degree would make my life and different than what it is now--which is treated like crap because you are a black man.
My dad keeps telling me that my life will change when I get my degree. However, I keep judging my present situation as the type of situation that will always be the way it is; regardless of what I do. However, maybe it will change my situation. Maybe it can open up doors for me that seemed totally closed now; and if that is the case, I am about to start going at getting my degree like there is no tomorrow.
Good idea bruh. That is why I love reading your posts, you are a very intelligent man. Everything that you write about comes from keen observation. Flaminghetero is too.
Thanks bruh.
Later
