What brings me here (this site, and life in general)...

I had a nice talk with him today. I asked if we can just call this what it is (friends with benefits) and move on.. Let him know about wanting true and lasting real love with a family, that I am starting to look elsewhere. He took it well, and said he could feel this coming on for awhile. We are gonna be friends for now, but prolly drift apart. I really needed to come to terms with what this is, and stop sugar-coating some f'd up sh**. Lust when disguised as love, makes a woman act, and think a lil' crazy sometimes.
 
GQ Brotha said:
LOL, that dude has a lot on his plate. Marriage, baby mama and now LadyJ. Don't know how he does it. :)

Heck 1 woman is good enough to deal with, unless a dude is a playa and not wanting a deep relationship anyway or a man just wants endless juggling and drama dealing with a whole bunch of women. :)

Any woman who respects herself would step back and ask herself, "what the fuck am I doing in this situation, am I not worth more than this"

To all the ladies, take if from a man, a dude will only treat you with the level of respect you demand from him.

If you are a piece of ass for him, he will take it, if you demand respect he will either come correct at you or move on to an easier woman. The choice is yours ladies.:)
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there you go...
 
LadyJ said:
Thanks for the welcome. Also appreciate the way you came at me.

I know how this sounds, believe me. He took a while getting to know me before we really started talking, I felt he cared. He was hilariously funny, sweet and looking more handsome to me by the day. Sex is good, but I don't want a relationship based on this. Honestly, his effort has been dwindling lately, and I'm starting to not feel easy about it... At this point, I feel it's time I wise up.
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This.

If you did have his baby, you'd just be third in a growing line of baby mommas. It's extremely unlikely he'd leave his wife, lose his house, pay alimony and child support just to shack up with you since he already gets the best parts of you now.

If you just want a sperm bank deposit, he's your man. Otherwise, he's a lying cheating dick who'd risk his wife's health just to get some on the side.

Welcome to the boards.
 
Athena said:
This.

If you did have his baby, you'd just be third in a growing line of baby mommas. It's extremely unlikely he'd leave his wife, lose his house, pay alimony and child support just to shack up with you since he already gets the best parts of you now.

If you just want a sperm bank deposit, he's your man. Otherwise, he's a lying cheating dick who'd risk his wife's health just to get some on the side.

Welcome to the boards.
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well stated
 
LadyJ said:
I had a nice talk with him today. I asked if we can just call this what it is (friends with benefits) and move on.. Let him know about wanting true and lasting real love with a family, that I am starting to look elsewhere. He took it well, and said he could feel this coming on for awhile. We are gonna be friends for now, but prolly drift apart. I really needed to come to terms with what this is, and stop sugar-coating some f'd up sh**. Lust when disguised as love, makes a woman act, and think a lil' crazy sometimes.
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Well glad you found your way here and we can help you confirm what you already probably know, that you deserve better from a man in your life.


Athena said:
This.

If you did have his baby, you'd just be third in a growing line of baby mommas. It's extremely unlikely he'd leave his wife, lose his house, pay alimony and child support just to shack up with you since he already gets the best parts of you now.

If you just want a sperm bank deposit, he's your man. Otherwise, he's a lying cheating dick who'd risk his wife's health just to get some on the side.

Welcome to the boards.
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Excellently summed up, better than Dr. Phil could Athena. :D
 
LadyJ said:
I had a nice talk with him today. I asked if we can just call this what it is (friends with benefits) and move on.. Let him know about wanting true and lasting real love with a family, that I am starting to look elsewhere. He took it well, and said he could feel this coming on for awhile. We are gonna be friends for now, but prolly drift apart. I really needed to come to terms with what this is, and stop sugar-coating some f'd up sh**. Lust when disguised as love, makes a woman act, and think a lil' crazy sometimes.
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Please you'll be back
 
LadyJ said:
Ok, ok, it'll be tough at first, so maybe just for the benefits. But my mindset has definitely changed. Also, after I start dating again, I just wont have the time for him anymore.
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LoL, I appreciate your honesty/candor
 
LadyJ said:
Ok, ok, it'll be tough at first, so maybe just for the benefits. But my mindset has definitely changed. Also, after I start dating again, I just wont have the time for him anymore.
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dear, you need to burn all bridges now :D no benefetis , nothig.. other way you wount stop this, because he will talk you in back
 
1) EVERYBODY :: Stop e-cockblocking that dude.

2) LadyJ:: No offense, but do you really need to come to a forum full of strangers to tell you who is and isn't Ok to have sex with? You know your situation with him and while you are struggling with it morally, you are not showing an ounce of strength or restraint even after your conversation with him. Also, you are not being very respectful to yourself or to his family. What do you really expect from us that you don't already know?

It's one thing when people come here asking for legit advice, but..... in this case?! Come on....

Anyways, welcome to the forums. Feel free to go post some pictures in the lingerie thread.
 
jaisee said:
1) EVERYBODY :: Stop e-cockblocking that dude.

2) LadyJ:: No offense, but do you really need to come to a forum full of strangers to tell you who is and isn't Ok to have sex with? You know your situation with him and while you are struggling with it morally, you are not showing an ounce of strength or restraint even after your conversation with him. Also, you are not being very respectful to yourself or to his family. What do you really expect from us that you don't already know?

It's one thing when people come here asking for legit advice, but..... in this case?! Come on....

Anyways, welcome to the forums. Feel free to go post some pictures in the lingerie thread.
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Way to refocus on what's important. Lol
 
jaisee said:
1) EVERYBODY :: Stop e-cockblocking that dude.

2) LadyJ:: No offense, but do you really need to come to a forum full of strangers to tell you who is and isn't Ok to have sex with? You know your situation with him and while you are struggling with it morally, you are not showing an ounce of strength or restraint even after your conversation with him. Also, you are not being very respectful to yourself or to his family. What do you really expect from us that you don't already know?

It's one thing when people come here asking for legit advice, but..... in this case?! Come on....

Anyways, welcome to the forums. Feel free to go post some pictures in the lingerie thread.
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Thanks for the welcome. I don't have any pictures in lingerie.. I came to this forum because I literally googled "white women with black men", because like I stated my goal is to understand and be understood. To tell you the truth, this is my first experience in a forum.. period., so I guess I'm not going about it the right way.... I have always been hesitant to jump in, because I thought I may be judged harshly. But now that I'm here, I might as well accept it, and I can handle... Look, if you take a look at my first post, it was that I wanted to join here, and thought it'd be best to tell of my current situation... The reason I started in the welcome center is just to break the ice.. I really wasn't looking for acceptance of my "scenario", but thought "I" would be accepted in general.. that's all.
 
LadyJ said:
Thanks for the welcome. I don't have any pictures in lingerie.. I came to this forum because I literally googled "white women with black men", because like I stated my goal is to understand and be understood. To tell you the truth, this is my first experience in a forum.. period., so I guess I'm not going about it the right way.... I have always been hesitant to jump in, because I thought I may be judged harshly. But now that I'm here, I might as well accept it, and I can handle... Look, if you take a look at my first post, it was that I wanted to join here, and thought it'd be best to tell of my current situation... The reason I started in the welcome center is just to break the ice.. I really wasn't looking for acceptance of my "scenario", but thought "I" would be accepted in general.. that's all.
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You are, welcome aboard. But don't post in lingerie lol.
 
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