WW what do you think of all the topics on BW?

There aren't a lot of posts about BW on this forum.

 

well you do have to wonder why a WW is on this thread defending BW. Most BW hate the fact that WW are dating BM, even if the BW doesnt care for the BM.

NO one is here attacking BW, we are addressing issues very pertinent to the IR community, the hatred from the outside. If one would go to Blacknet.co.uk one would see the venom being spewed about IR couples and yet the same ones defending BW here dont see that attitude.

 

I notice a lot of posts by black men saying how disappointed they are with black women because they are ghetto, into the gangsta image etc., and I think of my BW friends and coworkers, and honestly none of them are like that and they are equally frustrated with this ghetto image. My BW friends and coworkers are professional women whose lifestyle is no different than mine or anyone else's. They are nothing like the black woman being constantly described on this board... yet I'm in no position to judge or condemn the black men who have shared their negative experience because it's their experiences, not mine. I just wish they did not project that experience on all black women because that's not fair.

 

moshivaka: NO one said All Black Women were like that. We are saying that there are very few women with good decent characters today for BM. There are also very few Black Men with good characters and decent behavior either. But it is very hard to find the good ones because they are so few and far between. Also the culture at large promotes the lowest type of men and women, of all races and so the masses of people are trying to emulate the most negative characters in society.

the white majority is having alot of these problems also but because of access to good education, economic opportunities and the lack a destructive element such as slavery on the White majority, gives them a better footing in society

no one is saying All black women here

 

You are right Tuckerreed, but read back to some of those posts, how they are worded.

You know though Tuckerreed, that's a question I've had on my mind for a while. You said that there are few women with decent characters out there. You know how they say that a good man is hard to find. I don't know if it's true, I've got a man and he's supposedly a good man but can be bad too. I honestly don't know anymore if I've got a good one... (we're having some big problems right now and I'm doing the best I can, well that's besides the point.) But, is it really true that a good woman is hard to find? It used to be just a good man. :?:

 

If you focus on statements where bm are more or less venting or getting
something off their chest regarding bw, it will seem that the bm on here have this animosity. I think the majority of bm on here don't really have a problem with bw. You can find praising statments as well about bw.
Because this is a message board it's not unusual for a thread to go on for days. I think it's useful to remember...if we were all sitting in a room
talking about this subject which is going on for days, the convo would be
less than a half hour (to this point). Reading words from a stranger can
have a "distorting" effect on the message the person is trying to get across. Making them seem "angry" when they are just trying to present a point, or making them seem "obsessed" when they just have a little bit more to say on the subject. We've all been in or witnessed conversations
which became heated not out of anger, but in both parties believing in
thier point and not backing down from it. I've been in many debates, usually involving some sort of political issue with friends of mine, and had things get loud, and maybe a little sarcastic even. People who are
around who don't know us might think of calling the cops. When the
debate is over, everybody goes back to normal like nothing happened.
Obviously the subject of bw does come up from time to time, but i feel
this is just as valid as any other subject and maybe more relevant depending on the purpose of the thread. Sometimes when discussing bm/ww ir it's necessary to draw a comparison between wm/bw which is the other side of the coin. If you think about it, regardless of subject matter (men/women, Democrats/Republicans, old/young,rich/poor etc.)people often
compare with and discuss the other side of the coin. When it comes to
ir, this often leads to discussion of the imbalances and double standards
within it. These double standards, I think, make up the bulk of statements toward bw that are being interpreted as negative. Ie: Bm
venting about how many bw and wm seem to have a hypocritical attitude
toward ir in general. When bm talk about this in a seemingly "angry"
it's more an expression of frustration towards certain behaviors or
sentiments rather than toward the bw herself. Now there may be a few
exceptions on here, but if you look at how many thousands of posts written year after year I don't think it's too bad. If there was a significant
"anti-bw" sentiment, there would be a lot more clear-cut hostility.

 

Well, I cant speak for most BM, Moshvichka. I can only speak for my experience and the experience of my peers and friends and family.

Yes, I would say that in this day and age, a good woman is a rare commodity. Just as many women say that a good man is hard to find. I find that character, morals, values, ethics, behavior is lacking in many people in our society today. Many people are materialistic and greedy, they desire to be self serving and self centered. They are less inclined to raise children and more inclined to try and make money. Behaviors such as horrible fowl language, violence, bitterness, selfishness, sexual immorality, immodesty, overindulgence, lack of thrift, vanity, hatred, gossip are becoming commonplace in todays society. And while men are guilty of all of these vices, women have inculcated these same problems into their lives as well.

In the US, it is quite hard to find a woman who is not into materialism, vanity, sexual immorality, gossip, self centeredness--what we called a decent, good woman a generation ago (our mothers and grandmothers). Women are using drugs at as high a rate as men, women are the fastest growing population of incarcerations of prisons in the last 10 years. Women are murdering their children, aborting their babies, forsaking domestic life for the material life at a fast pace today.

So, Yes, it is hard to find a good woman today--who doesnt already have kids by other men and doesnt believe in living together out of wedlock or sleeping together before marriage, or finding the allure of materialism not attractive.

I want to make it clear that I agree with women also, that the same is true with not finding good men. Black men make up jails and prisons population at a rate higher than they are in universities and colleges; there is still a 1 in 25 chance that a black will be murdered before 26 while the number is 1 in 150 for white men. The lack of jobs, the drug epidemic, the illegitimacy of children left by the black fathers, the growing gay and DL problem, AIDS, diabetes and heart disease and the lack of awareness for their civic and personal responsibility are all contributing factors to the loss of good BM.

and we will say, the loss of good BW and WW

 

I think shaft seems to get it more clearly. Some of the other posters are turning this conversation into a 'who's to blame more' discussion about black women and black men, and as far as I know, talking about our negative experiences with black women isn't 'bashing' (to those who need a dictionary, or need to learn how to read one) because if it is, then I guess I will 'bash' anyone and everyone, like I usually do from time to time.

OK then, let's talk about our bad experiences with white women then. Would that be 'bashing', or just discussing? :roll:

Maybe we should just let the white women in here 'bash' black men with their bad experiences too, in fact, some white women out there( if not many) have had similar experiences with black women, but for some reason, if they say anything about it, it's isn't 'bashing'...

but, what if black women were to come in here and defend black men by 'bashing' white men or white women with their experiences of racism? From my standpoint, it seems like they would be praised because they are black women :roll:...

but, I guess I get it. If we black men talk about something that the white women disagree with in regards to their individual experiences with black women, then it's 'bashing', other than that, it's not.

Nice to know how logic is used in a discussion like this.

 

Call me odd but i think some of the WW taking part in this conversation are shying away from certain issues to avoid being called "racist". I might sound odd but brothas, think of it and you'd see my point. However i would like to call for an end to all the BW topics. You never see WW create topics bashing WM so why should we be doing so? In my view, it seems like we're running to them by doing that and thats just what the racist WM wants to see. Im not saying WW should start to bash WM but please brothas, we need to stop with the BW threads and posts. I love white women but i certainly dont and will never say negative things so i can be accepted by them.

 

Criss you hit the nail on the head yet again,good post.

 

good point Cris, though i think that alot of the women who call themselves feminist are talking about the patriarchy and power, BM dont have the power nor are really apart of the Patriarchy which held white women down for thousands of years. So, it is rather strange that the WW are not addressing issues about WM. I think that it would be a way of showing solidarity with BM and BW alike. But if they are still building up the WM patriarchal structure by marrying and dating them, then they dont have much to protest and complain about (whether it be capitalism or socialism).

 

Thats excellent but you know, in the wake of all this, i just remember a line an old friend of mine back from New York told me regarding IR; Never expect total acceptance and acknowledgement from a WW as they dont understand a black man's pain. Now Chauncey, which as a matter of fact is his name, is a 27 year old man, black of course, whom i have known for a long time; we grew up together in Manhattan and he used to date WW before. But he doesnt anymore and is happily married to a Puerto Rican woman he met 2 years ago. His main reason for quitting WW was because to him, they had no perseverance, solidarity and sympathy for a BM. He said that when he dated WW, they used to promise him many things but let a rich WM come along, they'd turn heads again. He believes that a BM/WW relationship can never be lifelong because WW dont have that much diligence and perseverance.

He also said that WW think they can understand a BM's pain but only pretend and the fact that they have no minds of theirs and are scared of the white man pisses him off. To him, WW are the real reasons why BM/WW relationships wont last as according to him, WW are not loyal. The fact they are with you doesnt mean they are any less racist than a WM nor does it mean that they wont dump you and go back to a WM. It happened to him many times and has decided not to date WW anymore. For so many other reasons i have not much time to tell about.

Im not sure if i agree or not but i've pondered this for so long and seen that he might have a point. Tucker, i'd like your, and other brothas' opinions on this.

 

Maybe some of them would write racist comments, and don't know how to phrase them correctly.

1. Only certain posters create these topics. Most of them are lurkers.

2. Most of the threads in this site don't have anything to do with black women.

3. Sharing your experiences with others isn't 'bashing.' Yes, I was being very sarcastic in my reply, but that was for a reason.

 

I completely agree with MOST of what both of you said this time, which is why I was being so sarcastic before.

 

I don't mind someone venting every now and then. I'll admit there are some annoying BW out there. IMO its the ones who can't find a man because THEY have some sort of personal/psychological problem. The ones that would not know how to treat a good man if they found one. So there you go. You've heard it from me. They exist. But, I don't dwell on them. I got better things to do. I'll be damned if I'm gonna let people as pathetic as that throw me off my game.

What I am getting annoyed with is a couple of things:

1.
I don't think that Black women should be harrassed or profiled just because they are black and come onto this site. They might be trolls; They might not be. Give them a chance at least to express themselves before you assume that they have a hidden agenda. This has happened on other boards and on this one, e.g. the karmacoma/spellonu incident, and ClssySouthernBBW was the queen of this. I know karmacoma from another board and have had the same discussion with him that I've had with Sardonic. I also had the same discussion with Clssy. Its just unfair to BW and I can see why it WOULD make the ones that are pleasant angry.

2.
I really don't see why its necessary to discuss BW to the extent that we do on a board dedicated to BM/WW. It just seems to be a waste of time. Its almost like talking to your new woman about your ex all the time. Why? when you can spend the time getting to know your new woman.

3.
If you regularly - not once, not twice, but regularly - vent, call it like you see it, tell it like it is, complain about BW, it begins to look and feel like you are campaigning against them for whatever your reasons are. The same people, who complain about the media only showing negative stereotypes of black people and how it adversely affects the black community, turn around and publish negative stereotypes about black women.

 

I would have to agree with you Cris and your good friend Chauncey

 

Im glad you see it that way, Tuck. I mean, im not even sure if i agree with him or not but i've pondered it for some time now and discovered he may be right. Whenever a black man with a white wife is in trouble especially the famous ones, they tend to disengage themselves in what's happening and moreover, too many WW are getting caught up in the idea of avoiding the sterotype of "Once you go black, you never go back" that they're doing some really ridiculous things. They dont wanna be called "nigger lover" by the white man and do some things that makes me wanna go over and slap the hell out of the woman. Fine, no one expects you to totally forget WM but if you have to put solidarity on the line to please someone just because of your childishness, calls for some retrospective. You cant eat your cake and have it.

 

Although I am with you on all of this, let it be known that flipmode is a black woman (in case anyone hasn't noticed) and she isn't trolling, nor did other black women like Chilligirl, sistagirl, and EbonySunGoddess, and I haven't had any arguments with either one of these women, and I also stated that NOT ALL trolls are black women or white men, in fact, Sthrn was a white woman, and she was the worst troll we've had ever since.

And, to close, karmacoma was praised by porcelainsnowbird in her 'Diftingaway Refugees' thread as being 'cool as shit', when he was the ONLY one in here who disagreed with me about the way jaydun, flaminghetero, and black prince, exaggerate their claims about black women, so there you go.

By the way, criticizing Sanaa Lathan doesn't mean I have a problem with black women worldwide, and since she doesn't speak for all black women, I can't buy that theory.

 

You and you're friend are pretty much right,LaydeezmanCris. But I will say the majority of people will screw you over in a second. All I keep hearing on these boards is how do I find a white women? Alot of people on these boards should be asking,how do I meet a good/strong woman?A woman who can stand on her own when she is getting bs thrown at her. When it comes to these famous bm/ww couples the woman are usually fame seeking golddiggers. People have to know what they want and what they are getting in any relationship. Otherwise you will end up with people who will disappear when a bad situation appears.

 

Right on, jxsilicon.