American Black Men: USA or Foreign White Women

I don't know...but your ass has posted up here twice since then LOL

 

I feel a bromance brewing. :smt052

 

retort

in response to dialogue some pages back (this may get arduous):

i feel where all you cats are dropping knowledge from.

i am living in asia, beijing china to be exact. i have been living in china for almost 3 years there is a large “laowai” (chinese for “foreigner”)/expatriate community here. it consists of people mostly from european countries. before china, i lived in prague, czech republic. here is what i have come to learn:

i have met some righteous, cool women in both prague and in china and my travels in-between. and, i have met some not-so-good ones as well. as far as dating goes, you could end up with a lemon, no matter where she is from. it doesn’t matter, fellas. if one is consistently meeting women (or men) that aren’t measuring up, he/she needs to truly look within as to why (and own the reason(s)). when i was younger, i dated a woman from belarus who was a looker but i was incompatible with her, from the jump. different life directions, long story short. what did i do? you guessed it: i chose to keep on dating her - was fixated too much on her looks. things didn’t work out obviously. it was not a good look, but i had to take accountability on my side and make moves to where this wouldn’t happen again. there are features and characteristics on/in a woman that i am keen on and i could find them with women no matter where she is from. i don’t have a preference as to where she is from. i have always had an interest in women who are similar, yet different from me, no matter her skin color. it truly comes down to if we click and finish each other’s sentences, having that connection. in turn, she should not be fixated on you being black or trying out something different (though she likely was attracted to your physical attributes), if she is mature and has her wits about her.

can’t speak for the masses but in my humble opinion, it all comes down to how you present yourself. there is a substantial number of brethren here in china (from all over the world). there are cats that conduct themselves with class and integrity and in turn, they attract some lookers. conversely, there are some cats over here that are on that "nigga shit” and attract women that are similar in kind. disclaimer: just because a cat has a passport and is making moves, doesn’t automatically mean he is doing it. i met this cat from detroit over here in beijing (i grew up in the ‘d’ also, so we connected on that tip). one nite, i was politicking with this cat about traveling and he mentioned that he had a ‘dry run’ on women when he traveled to central europe. just from what i know about this cat, he is not very endearing and tactful and comes off a bit entitled. not knowing for a fact, but it could be concluded that he took said personality traits over to central europe, those women were repulsed, and shit didn’t pan out for him. from my experiences living in europe, you got to come (really) correct if you are checking the ladies over there. not to say that i have the magic potion, but from an observational standpoint, cats don’t be having their shit together most of the time when stepping to a lady. a woman of substance is not going to mess with a dusty-ass dude, no matter where that cat is from. again, checks and balances. if everything you are doing is balancing out, little things with more focus, you will grab somebody’s eye - trust.

moving abroad has been an opportunity to better understand myself and other areas of life i was not well-versed on prior, as a result maturing in untapped areas as a man. what you project is (oftentimes) what you will attract. if you are on your shit, you will attract women that are your cup of tea and exceptionally those that are not so much. know what piques your fancy, focus on that and go from there. in a city of 21 million people, that is one of the world’s most populated, a shortage of women is not/should not ever the problem. and, there are quality women in the midst of it all, so that is not an issue. there are substantial, open-minded, and well-rounded women in ‘jing that are looking for a standup man and skin color is not hardly a concern. if you reek being interesting, crossing paths with a quality woman will be the least of your worries, even if it is just on the friendship tip. living abroad, you come to appreciate the overlooked things in life that may have been overlooked before. for example, on the platonic tip, it is cool as hell to just have a cup of coffee or brunch with a down-to-earth woman from (insert foreign country here) and be schooled on how big this world really is - continues to amaze me day in, day out. women want to be around dudes that make them feel comfortable and radiate positivity.

people will tell you that they move abroad under the guise of personal improvement. but the reality of it, a lot of cats come over and get involved in that typical expatriate life - going to the bars (nothing wrong with stepping out from time to time. i am talking about it being the focal point of one’s free time), doing stupid shit (nothing wrong with that if that’s your bag, but again), and then later ponder why they’re majority meeting messy-ass women. in layman’s terms, these cats are not very well-rounded and aren’t putting themselves in more positions to meet and greet. my free time consists of working on languages, taking classes, fitness/running/cycling/hiking clubs, traveling/exploring, and so on. there is lots of stuff to do in beijing. by keeping your plate full, doing you, and enjoying your own company, you learn what is fact and fiction, weeding out bullshit/ters and attracting likeminded folk. most importantly, i am not trying to find a woman per se (prowl), but i am usually open and in a position to meet women to see where things may lead. i have been fortunate enough to have been attracting women who are parallel to me and what i am doing, which is something that has not happened overnight.

also, i would say getting older and having experiencing relationships that have not worked out and taking lessons from them and WITHOUT BITTERNESS, moving onward and upward from it have all helped put me in a better place as an individual. the symptoms of bitterness in an individual are obvious to onlookers more than we think and it doesn’t have to be voiced verbally. people will tend to shy away from that shit.

this all could be applied no matter where you are laying your head. i lived in denver, colorado before moving abroad and there was no shortage of great women. you had to screen out the not-so-good ones occasionally, but still.

a passport is a beautiful thing, fellas. it is indeed a (not “the”) key to a better you if you are wise about it. but there is more to it than that, a lot. from one real cat to the next, when you make moves, turn that swag down just a notch and be humble about it, be willing to learn and grow, and everything else will fall into place.

have vibed with a few folk on here at times. i don't post much on here due to connection issues. but, my goal is to.

 

LMAO!!

 

BRAVO!!

 

Excellent post!

 

well stated

 

Agreed. I think it's an awesome idea to spend time abroad. I'm actually planning to get my passport a lot more use starting in 2016

 

What language are you speaking? Yo GL is this your long lost son? lol
Well I respect your opinion even if I disagree.

 

lol

why? oh he's telling u guys to man-up to your actions and stop saying its must be them.

lol

 

He uses the same outdated early 90s vernacular you use mack. Guess I should take notes lol

 

and u should take notes cause everyone here see the bs u trying to put out.

 

So basically we all think the same way or its bs?
Fuck outta here with that. If said America has a culture that promotes violence and guns would you tell me look on the inside because maybe it comes down to how I am?
If I told you America has callous culture that allows tax payers to go hungry and without healthcare. Is it on me to look with in then too? Would I be wrong for saying that places like Finland and Canada offer better services because they actually give a shit about their people. They a completely different culture.
Nope I'm being bitter because I can't apparently have a really hard time getting the caliber of women I want so my views are bitter and have absolutely no merit.
Got it

 

absolutely, you can disagree. that’s kind of the idea!

to the brethren that said “owing up to our shit” - in short, that is what my note was implying. one can point blame for so long - shit gets kind of old, fam.

yes, to the brethren talking about getting the passport and making moves. yessir, living abroad can be a treat, again if you’re smart about it. there was this younger brethren from miami living over here i tried to tutelage and give advice to about how to get his and he was always on that “angry black man” shit. dude was always going out the world ass backwards. mainly, he had that sense of entitlement. and he just got deported because he couldn’t figure it out.

but what i am more curious about: what makes and how is my vernacular “outdated” and “90s-ish”? i am truly befuddled (not being confrontational). i was a young/teenage whippersnapper back then still learning the difference between “you were” and “you was” - so i haven’t the foggiest. you mentioned something about guns and violence in america vs free education in finland. again, clarify any misunderstandings about this - i am kind of the new kid on the block here.

but, speaking of guns and violence, i grew up in detroit in the midst of the crack takeoff, i was around all that shit. i grew up in the ‘d’ with telling me “you ain’t going to be shit.” saw many homies get carted off to prison for 25-30 years. buried cousins and homies trying to be about that life. shit was real, fam and really messed with me. getting a college degree and a passport? HA! let society tell it, you were reaching. making it out the 'hood to southfied (suburb 10 minutes right outside the ‘d') was more pragmatic and a milestone. shit was stacked against you, fam. it was harder than our finnish or canadian counterparts, but what could you do? sit there and talk about how much easier it is somewhere else or be proactive and get yours no matter how hard it is. the latter was always the better option. it was not easy - shit was always in my face and the other side was always tempting me. when you do get to where you want, can’t nobody take it from you, real rap. it’s your right to be mad and bitter all you want. when i was younger, i was mad all the time thinking life was unfair and being mad would be a band-aid to all my problems. i had to learn the one caveat to all that - no one honestly gives a shit about bellyaching. in the end, you will just be a bitter black man always complaining about the women you feel you deserve. but damn, on the strength - what is the pay off for that?

sidetone: i taught high school in one of the worse neighborhoods in denver before moving abroad. at first, they likely thought i was some uppity, unscathed brethren who couldn’t identify until i shared a few war stories of my own. i kept it 100% with my students at all times letting them know the struggle is indeed real out here. but, whenever they got down on themselves about how america/society was against them and that there weren’t any choices, i’d be their sounding board, their ear. immediately thereafter, much to their chagrin i would shut that negative shit down. "it isn't going to be easy, deal with it." "there are choices, look for them if you really want better.” they needed the help getting there, which i was beyond more than willing to give. i had carte blanche to say all this, because i (authentically) was feeling where they were coming from and was them once upon a time.

moreover, when cats are doing certain things a little better or different than me, it is always worth a listen, whether i have the ability to relate or not. evolution.

obviously, i don’t know your personal situation about anything so it’s totally illogical to say you are bitter and what you say has no merit. additionally, i can’t tell you what to do or how to handle yours. all i can do is show love, enlighten, and share.

i will ask - what kind of women “do you want?” you mentioned this in your retort.

again, all of this is coming from a place i am familiar with.

no diss fam, we all are going to make it if oh so inclined.

 

well stated. he uses the "outdated" statement to deflect and avoid.

he does it all the time. people try to tell him everyone can learn to do better but they have to be willing.

he get caught up with side issues.

 

It was joke old man. You are seriously on my dick these days. Lonely?

 

yeah right.

u will have to have a dick to ride.

 

Do I need to put you two in timeout?

 

oh behave yourself.
grrrr

 

Powerful and appreciated input. Thanks for your perspective.

I visited Beijing for a hot second. I loved, loved, loved Chiang Mai, Thailand - very laid back; I will probably move there.

The whole women thing you stated I find to be the case also although I too am not looking. Of course there are great women in the US and scrubs overseas.

My thoughts are the women overall in the US suck because the culture overall sucks. Taking a look at places like Denmark, Finland, Iceland to name a few the women are gorgeous (overall) and have a better (although not perfect) outlook on life in general. I think that has to do with the society they live in and how it supports it's citizens.

I find it interesting that you don't live in the US. That may speak directly to what I'm referring to (don't know since I don't know why you live overseas).