Do white women prefer black men when they are older?

[goodlove8]

]Dude it's not that serious [/B]
First date with my girl was the BK Museum. We both liked it and it's only suggested donations so I paid 5 bucks for both of us. We walked around and talked for two hours. We were both hungry afterwards and we had a long lunch. It was a lot of fun probably dropped 50 on lunch. I didn't even kiss her after in fact didn't kiss her until date four I think. Was totally worth it. Probably spent 200 bucks before I kissed her. Money well spent, got the girl of my dreams.

Dude read what I responded to and then get back with me on that point. What she said was very insulting. Go back and read .


Now if you did that on the first date then you are cosigning what I'm saying. If a woman is digging you then you don't have to spend a lot of money...right?

 

[The Dark King]

Dude read what I responded to and then get back with me on that point. What she said was very insulting. Go back and read .


Now if you did that on the first date then you are cosigning what I'm saying. If a woman is digging you then you don't have to spend a lot of money...right?

You made it a point to say don't do it at all it must be earned

 

[goodlove8]

You made it a point to say don't do it at all it must be earned

Naw im saying don't go all out spending a lot of money .let her earn that shit. Don't open the safe and give her a steak dinner just cause she's a woman.

Let her earn it. What is she bringing to the table? Add and tits? That's it. All she got is a good bj? That's a jump-off or s booty call.


Go back and read about what I said about the woman I was with for 5-7 years. She got gifts and what-not cause she reciprocated.


Go back to the exchange student and see what I said. Go back and read about what I said about the one female I was with for a yearr (she as just a jump-off ... Could've git promoted to a gf but she showed to many bad signs).

Let them work....

 

[K]

Dude read what I responded to and then get back with me on that point. What she said was very insulting. Go back and read .


Now if you did that on the first date then you are cosigning what I'm saying. If a woman is digging you then you don't have to spend a lot of money...right?

What were you insulted by?

You love to go on and on about men spending money - you've done so for years on here now. Most have said it's not about the amount. Yet you continue to go on about it. Did someone take you for a lot of money or something? You sure are hot about the whole topic. It seems like something major must have happened to you for you to be so up in arms about it all.

Why does someone need to "earn" spending time with you to get to know you and for you to get to know them?

It really doesn't take spending any (or much) money. It might take some creativity though. I go places all the time and spend very little because I'm creative about what I do. TDK mentioned going to a museum. I am big on going to art shows and museums. They have free days or tend to be rather inexpensive. I like to walk around towns and sit at the water and talk. There are free music nights. There are all sorts of deals out there too. But it takes some effort and maybe a bit more thought than going to McDonalds. To me, it's not a big deal because I'm always looking for things to do anyway.

The funny thing is that you could actually spend less when being more thoughtful and creative than in going for drinks. I just don't understand why you would be wanting to do things differently than you would normally do. I don't typically go to McDonalds, so I'm not going to ask a man to go there for a date. Chances are, I wouldn't probably be going out with a man who likes to go to McDonalds, so he probably wouldn't be wanting to take me there for a date either.

The bottom line is that most on here (over and over again) have said it's not necessary to spend a lot of money (who knows what a lot is since you won't define that though) and yet you continue to post threads and go on about this.

 

[K]

Naw im saying don't go all out spending a lot of money .let her earn that shit. Don't open the safe and give her a steak dinner just cause she's a woman.

Let her earn it. What is she bringing to the table? Add and tits? That's it. All she got is a good bj? That's a jump-off or s booty call.


Go back and read about what I said about the woman I was with for 5-7 years. She got gifts and what-not cause she reciprocated.


Go back to the exchange student and see what I said. Go back and read about what I said about the one female I was with for a yearr (she as just a jump-off ... Could've git promoted to a gf but she showed to many bad signs).

Let them work....

Amazing! This really shows how little you think of women.

Geeze I go out with a girlfriend and will pickup the tab for lunch or dinner. I don't expect anything from her. WTF would I expect something from someone just because we went to have a meal.

I'm really missing something here.


TDK is obviously doing just fine following his own instincts with things.

 

[goodlove8]

]Well....I think it's interesting that TDK is in a relationship. So maybe he's onto something there, eh?

Based on many of the things you have posted, it seems to me that you don't have much faith in your ability to choose a good partner. [/B]

For some of us, buying a lunch or two isn't getting played. It's part of dating and getting to know people, and more importantly learning more about ourselves and what works and what doesn't for us. Dating is a process. It takes investing time, energy, and some money (no matter how small or big you do things). Personally, I have found trying to short cut things hasn't worked out too well. It's like we all want to do these interviews, testing, etc to prevent getting hurt. But the problem is you aren't going to get the good stuff until you are ready to open yourself up to it, which also means opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. To me, the possible pain or spending some money is worth the risk. I know 99.9% of the time it's not going to be something that works out. But that one time when it does....it makes it all worth it!

What were you insulted by?

You love to go on and on about men spending money - you've done so for years on here now. Most have said it's not about the amount. Yet you continue to go on about it. Did someone take you for a lot of money or something? You sure are hot about the whole topic. It seems like something major must have happened to you for you to be so up in arms about it all.

Why does someone need to "earn" spending time with you to get to know you and for you to get to know them?

It really doesn't take spending any (or much) money. It might take some creativity though. I go places all the time and spend very little because I'm creative about what I do. TDK mentioned going to a museum. I am big on going to art shows and museums. They have free days or tend to be rather inexpensive. I like to walk around towns and sit at the water and talk. There are free music nights. There are all sorts of deals out there too. But it takes some effort and maybe a bit more thought than going to McDonalds. To me, it's not a big deal because I'm always looking for things to do anyway.

The funny thing is that you could actually spend less when being more thoughtful and creative than in going for drinks. I just don't understand why you would be wanting to do things differently than you would normally do. I don't typically go to McDonalds, so I'm not going to ask a man to go there for a date. Chances are, I wouldn't probably be going out with a man who likes to go to McDonalds, so he probably wouldn't be wanting to take me there for a date either.

The bottom line is that most on here (over and over again) have said it's not necessary to spend a lot of money (who knows what a lot is since you won't define that though) and yet you continue to post threads and go on about this.

That.

You need to apologize asap

 

[The Dark King]

Amazing! This really shows how little you think of women.

Geeze I go out with a girlfriend and will pickup the tab for lunch or dinner. I don't expect anything from her. WTF would I expect something from someone just because we went to have a meal.

I'm really missing something here.


TDK is obviously doing just fine following his own instincts with things.

Ok in his defense treating a friend is not like treating a stranger you just met. Friends don't act entitled to your time and money the way a lot of women do on a date. A lot of these girls are out here looking for a free meal and some entertainment. Now here is where he and I disagree its ok to choose that route if you want to. This shit isn't formulaic it just isn't. Each relationship is unique and you won't succeed treating women like a uniform group. Yes there are a lot of similarities, like the need to feel comfortable and safe, being able to trust someone's word and actions. That's universal but my approach with my girlfriend won't work with most women I've encountered. I live in one of the most spoiled dating demographics on earth and to find a woman in NYC who is ok with and willing to work within a budget is as rare as a black hockey player. So i recognize my good luck because that's not always the case but one thing I noticed that differed in my behavior from the past is I was extremely clear I mean abc to a 3 year old clear on what I need to feel happy in a relationship. I gave her options, that's another thing women need options lots and lots of options to feel like they aren't being cornered. So since right now I am looking to put money together for other financial interests, I constantly tell her about my plan and what it takes to get there as well as let her know hey we can't do dinner out every week but you can pick any place you want to go once a month. So this month its the Symphony, next month the Color Purple. Women also need things to look forward to generally. Don't get me wrong its not all smooth sailing but it's far more healthy and loving than I could have ever dreamed.

 

[K]

That.

You need to apologize asap

I don't have anything to apologize for.

You have posted all sorts of things about how you need to make a woman "earn it" (earning getting a happy meal) and how you can't know for a certain amount of time and so forth. TDK straight up asked you how long and you were talking about a year and more. LOL I'm with TDK....it ain't that serious!

TDK did things the way he did and he's in a happy relationship. He was (and is) who he is, did things as he wanted to do them rather than some laid out formula that someone else tells him to do (who may or may not even be in a happy relationship ...although I can't imagine you are based on the majority of threads you start).

Seems to me he was and is being smart about it.

I find it quite amusing that you have the nerve to demand an apology yet you ride TDKs jock all over this site straight up attacking him. I realize you like to bitch at him all the time about anything and everything. But, given that he has what he wants, he'd be an idiot to follow the crap you are spewing.

You are very insulting to women in general with things you post and the assumptions you make. If you want to talk about apologies, maybe you should take a look at the stuff you post and apologize to the women on the site.

 

[K]

Ok in his defense treating a friend is not like treating a stranger you just met. Friends don't act entitled to your time and money the way a lot of women do on a date. A lot of these girls are out here looking for a free meal and some entertainment. Now here is where he and I disagree its ok to choose that route if you want to. This shit isn't formulaic it just isn't. Each relationship is unique and you won't succeed treating women like a uniform group. Yes there are a lot of similarities, like the need to feel comfortable and safe, being able to trust someone's word and actions. That's universal but my approach with my girlfriend won't work with most women I've encountered. I live in one of the most spoiled dating demographics on earth and to find a woman in NYC who is ok with and willing to work within a budget is as rare as a black hockey player. So i recognize my good luck because that's not always the case but one thing I noticed that differed in my behavior from the past is I was extremely clear I mean abc to a 3 year old clear on what I need to feel happy in a relationship. I gave her options, that's another thing women need options lots and lots of options to feel like they aren't being cornered. So since right now I am looking to put money together for other financial interests, I constantly tell her about my plan and what it takes to get there as well as let her know hey we can't do dinner out every week but you can pick any place you want to go once a month. So this month its the Symphony, next month the Color Purple. Women also need things to look forward to generally. Don't get me wrong its not all smooth sailing but it's far more healthy and loving than I could have ever dreamed.

I get what you are saying. He was talking about after a year (or more) and such. That's not a first date. I also get the whole thing about not going all out on a first date. I said stuff about that. I don't even want someone to do that. I'm sure you are aware that there are men who throw money to try to impress, even buy who/what they want.

I just think it's silly to think someone needs to PROVE it to you for a year or more before they have EARNED a happy meal. But again, whatever works for him.

I think you hit it on the head though. This is something I've been talking quite a bit with friends about. It's important to really spell out what works for you and how things work for you. Most people don't want to do that because they are so afraid of rejection. I think it's best to just say - this is what I need and want and see if that works for both people, maybe even negotiate so both are cool with things. It's not a perfect situation and things will shift and change. The key is to continue to communicate about it. It's all a process and not a one size fits all thing.

 

[The Dark King]

I get what you are saying. He was talking about after a year (or more) and such. That's not a first date. I also get the whole thing about not going all out on a first date. I said stuff about that. I don't even want someone to do that. I'm sure you are aware that there are men who throw money to try to impress, even buy who/what they want.

I just think it's silly to think someone needs to PROVE it to you for a year or more before they have EARNED a happy meal. But again, whatever works for him.

I think you hit it on the head though. This is something I've been talking quite a bit with friends about. It's important to really spell out what works for you and how things work for you. Most people don't want to do that because they are so afraid of rejection. I think it's best to just say - this is what I need and want and see if that works for both people, maybe even negotiate so both are cool with things. It's not a perfect situation and things will shift and change. The key is to continue to communicate about it. It's all a process and not a one size fits all thing.

I wouldn't be surprised if it did work for HIM. Water always finds it own level so it wouldn't surprise me if some women like the idea of "earning" it. I know for me personally its not going to get me what I want. I want partnership, I don't feel the need dominate or control I personally am never happy that way. It leaves one person being too needy for it be healthy and another person resentful that they have to be a parent to a grown person they are suppose to be equal with.

Yeah I use to be one of those guys trying to fit the mold, do what's expected. All that ever did for me was make me absolutely miserable, yeah I'd get laid which was ok but it never made up for the never ending arguing and like I said the feeling of resentment that often comes with acting instead of actually being yourself.

 

[K]

Friends don't act entitled to your time and money the way a lot of women do on a date. A lot of these girls are out here looking for a free meal and some entertainment.

This is why it's important to choose wisely and trust your instincts. It takes some time and it's not always right on. Maybe you need to talk to them a bit more up front and get a better idea of who they really are. I look at the ones that don't go well as learning experiences. But to get upset that you spent money to go out, to me that's just silly. Then you shouldn't be spending money you don't have, or you don't feel comfortable spending.

Again, this is why I think people should stick to doing things they would normally do (whether or not that person is with them) then it's not a big thing if it doesn't work out.

GL wants to argue but no one's on here promoting spending a bunch of money on dates.

 

[K]

I wouldn't be surprised if it did work for HIM. Water always finds it own level so it wouldn't surprise me if some women like the idea of "earning" it. I know for me personally its not going to get me what I want. I want partnership, I don't feel the need dominate or control I personally am never happy that way. It leaves one person being too needy for it be healthy and another person resentful that they have to be a parent to a grown person they are suppose to be equal with.

Yeah I use to be one of those guys trying to fit the mold, do what's expected. All that ever did for me was make me absolutely miserable, yeah I'd get laid which was ok but it never made up for the never ending arguing and like I said the feeling of resentment that often comes with acting instead of actually being yourself.

Interesting. Some really good points and insights here!

It's good you went through all that you did (even if it doesn't always seem like that) if it gets you to where you realize it's best to be you and that it's really about being with someone who appreciates you the way you are.

Thanks for sharing about it too. It's a good reminder that it really doesn't work to try to fit something you aren't.

 

[The Dark King]

Interesting. Some really good points and insights here!

It's good you went through all that you did (even if it doesn't always seem like that) if it gets you to where you realize it's best to be you and that it's really about being with someone who appreciates you the way you are.

Thanks for sharing about it too. It's a good reminder that it really doesn't work to try to fit something you aren't.

That's why I usually challenge the stuff Goodlove writes, younger eyes are watching. I wasted so many good years trying to live up to ideals that were never mine to begin with. This supposed "macking notes" approach doesn't work for me and honestly I'd like to see the kind of relationships it does work in. If I have to manipulate you to be around you then we aren't suppose to be with each other. I prefer not to treat my significant other as an enemy in need of conquering. I also recognize its up to me to pick partners like that instead of trying to approach every situation like its suppose to work.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

That's why I usually challenge the stuff Goodlove writes, younger eyes are watching. I wasted so many good years trying to live up to ideals that were never mine to begin with. This supposed "macking notes" approach doesn't work for me and honestly I'd like to see the kind of relationships it does work in. If I have to manipulate you to be around you then we aren't suppose to be with each other. I prefer not to treat my significant other as an enemy in need of conquering. I also recognize its up to me to pick partners like that instead of trying to approach every situation like its suppose to work.

Great points here

 

[goodlove8]

This is why it's important to choose wisely and trust your instincts. It takes some time and it's not always right on. Maybe you need to talk to them a bit more up front and get a better idea of who they really are. I look at the ones that don't go well as learning experiences. But to get upset that you spent money to go out, to me that's just silly. Then you shouldn't be spending money you don't have, or you don't feel comfortable spending.

Again, this is why I think people should stick to doing things they would normally do (whether or not that person is with them) then it's not a big thing if it doesn't work out.

GL wants to argue but no one's on here promoting spending a bunch of money on dates.

I was not arguing that. . That was you. If tdk was reading...I told him he and I was agreeing. Go back where I responded to the date you told me about with you and your woman and spending about 200 of a course of time . I said that from the jump because people would put you in the trick bag (try to take advantage of you). Also earn their position means check them out to see if they are worthy of your time as a gf/ bf. That's the purpose of dating if you want a relationship.

 

[goodlove8]

This is why it's important to choose wisely and trust your instincts. It takes some time and it's not always right on. Maybe you need to talk to them a bit more up front and get a better idea of who they really are. I look at the ones that don't go well as learning experiences. But to get upset that you spent money to go out, to me that's just silly. Then you shouldn't be spending money you don't have, or you don't feel comfortable spending.

Again, this is why I think people should stick to doing things they would normally do (whether or not that person is with them) then it's not a big thing if it doesn't work out.

GL wants to argue but no one's on here promoting spending a bunch of money on dates.

Here what I said. You got it all fucked up. I said the first few dates no need to spend a lot.

Also the happy meal statement , there's an lol... You are the one getting mad.

I said as far as gifts......I gave a scenario...read it. Jump-offs and booty calls don't get presents . I said 3 months you may or may not but don't an expensive gift.

Ok I'll do both. People are going to be pissed cause it's gonna get raw.

For the first few dates. It's drinks , renting a movie, picnic or something light (specifically on your wallet) until you have hit it for a while and she can get promoted to a happy meal (lol).


It really depends. Example, I dated an exchange student from Russia and I hit that a couple of times before I gave her a meal. I shortened the time from cause she was going back soon.

One female I dated for a year, I had hit that several times in a span of a month before she got a meal. I never bought her a gift cause I knew I was dumping her soon.

Some women aren't worthy of stuff cause some will just be a booty calls or , jump-offs .


You can half way tell.
As far as a gift , let's say Christmas or bday and you known her for about 3 months....don't give her shit or very little. maybe a shirt from target or something but don't go all out.

You can take her ass for a happy meall and tell her to eat it or starve.

If she really like you she would be happy with that.

 

[The Dark King]

Really ? Let's get real. You were the one I challenged about patriarchy and in the end you had no clue what it was until I told you.

You asked about a book to give to your girl and everyone else said give while I and chest I said don't. How did it turn out?

Are you the one made up data about as women age wm diss them and they turn to BM.
Actually , I challenged your shit.

It's nothing manipulative about not spending a bunch of money to impress a female and just talk to her. If you are spending a bunch of money then who is manipulating. The one spending or the one talking.


It's funny you are the one saying shit like I'm kissing ass but in reality it's you.

Im saying you don't need to spend money...you saying you do. So is it manipulating cause I'm saying you should not spend money and see the value in yourself.

See yourself as the prize.

The manipulation comes from setting up a tier system of approval setting benchmarks of worthiness. If I want to spend a bunch of money on a first date I will do so, a reasonable intelligent woman will not see this as a signal that she is now entitled to this level of outing every time we encounter. She will go with the flow because she enjoys your company. And the book thing worked out great, she loved the book SHE IS NOW MY GIRLFRIEND. So following my instinct and personal experience worked for me. Sorry in my opinion it isn't formulaic. A great woman doesn't require you to break the bank on her she knows that its your company that counts that we agree on. I just knew that with this particular woman I wasn't concerned with the money, I spent what I could afford and enjoyed myself.

 

[goodlove8]

The manipulation comes from setting up a tier system of approval setting benchmarks of worthiness. If I want to spend a bunch of money on a first date I will do so, a reasonable intelligent woman will not see this as a signal that she is now entitled to this level of outing every time we encounter. She will go with the flow because she enjoys your company. And the book thing worked out great, she loved the book SHE IS NOW MY GIRLFRIEND. So following my instinct and personal experience worked for me. Sorry in my opinion it isn't formulaic. A great woman doesn't require you to break the bank on her she knows that its your company that counts that we agree on. I just knew that with this particular woman I wasn't concerned with the money, I spent what I could afford and enjoyed myself.

You asked about it all . Go back and read. I didn't volunteer the info.


The tier comes from common sense. Example, would you really try to have an amber rose or a black Chyna as a gf. No. You would fuck em but not have them as a gf. When you have a gf (someone who is being committed to you) you are looking to see if she going to be your wife or life partner.

How are you manipulating her? If you don't want a serious relationship with her then why spend a bunch of cash on her.


As far as the first date , why I don't spend a bunch of money? It is a good way to weed out gold diggers and someone trying get a free meal. That's one.

Two , less pressure on you and her.

Three, I don't know this woman at all. Why should I spend a lot of money. If u are taking her out and you say we are going for coffee then how is that manipulating her

I didn't say anything about a formula or whatever. It's common sense. You check her out. You should consider yourself a good catch. Any woman should see you as a prize....you don't give prizes away.

Do you consider yourself a good catch

 

[goodlove8]

The manipulation comes from setting up a tier system of approval setting benchmarks of worthiness. If I want to spend a bunch of money on a first date I will do so, a reasonable intelligent woman will not see this as a signal that she is now entitled to this level of outing every time we encounter. She will go with the flow because she enjoys your company. And the book thing worked out great, she loved the book SHE IS NOW MY GIRLFRIEND. So following my instinct and personal experience worked for me. Sorry in my opinion it isn't formulaic. A great woman doesn't require you to break the bank on her she knows that its your company that counts that we agree on. I just knew that with this particular woman I wasn't concerned with the money, I spent what I could afford and enjoyed myself.

Another thing about the "tier" , some women that aren't like amber rose but str8 women sometime don't want a relationship but just have a dude that wants the can have just sex with. They call him "their friend". Fwb. ... Heard of that. Friends with benefits. So how are you manipulating them. If you're str8 up about your shit tgen they are cool with it.

You don't have to lie . You would be shocked at them being cool with it. Just say I'm not looking for a relationship now.

I never said "not follow your instinct. "

As far as the book ...you told a different story awhile back. You said things didn't work out.

The reason I told you to wait on the book because from what I remember you guys dated for about a month or two and the book was about 100-200. I said the idea was cool but just wait for a second . I also remember saying you are with her but just the little info I have tells me to wait. You came back later and said things didn't work out.

You asked . If you had to ask us then maybe you had some serious doubt about her. If there was no doubt then you would not had to ask.

I told you no for being concerned about you. Just because someone says no doesn't mean they hate you. A real friend will tell you "no."

 

[goodlove8]

]That's why I usually challenge the stuff Goodlove writes, younger eyes are watching. I wasted so many good years trying to live up to ideals that were never mine to begin with.[/B] This supposed "macking notes" approach doesn't work for me and honestly I'd like to see the kind of relationships it does work in. If I have to manipulate you to be around you then we aren't suppose to be with each other. I prefer not to treat my significant other as an enemy in need of conquering. I also recognize its up to me to pick partners like that instead of trying to approach every situation like its suppose to work.

You really want to talk about that or you do want to pass.