Do I need to change my ways

glt1980 said:
Thank you for the advice that is kinda the plan I am on now though I will actually be 29 on Jan 1st. I have actually already have degrees in Finance and Economics, and an MBA from Kellogg School of Management. Well as for career well lets just say that I am one of the people making money in the markets now and once the economy finally turns around I will finally be able to realize my dream of starting and running my own investment firm. As for the workout habits well there is actually nothing better for improving your performance at when trading the markets than exercise according to most people, plus I really dont feel right when I dont exercise.
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Just don't take his loving and leaving advice. Bad karma, man.
 
Here is some advice from a fortysomething, take it or leave it:

I don't think you gave an age, but spend these years focusing on bettering yourself. Get your degree, establish a great career. Use the energy and time you would otherwise spend with women to create an uber-successful version of glt1980. Also, stay in the gym and keep yourself in great shape. Develop good workout habits that will stay with you for life.

Then, one day, you will find yourself fit, attractive, driving a sweet ride, successful and with bank, and women from 25-45 will want you. Just remember when you get there, don't committ yourself to the first one who comes along, no matter how much you like her. You will have to do some loving and leaving to make up for lost time, my man. Break a few hearts first
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What he said especially in the bold type and....

 It appears you are kinda square, when women see you are as dull as a butter knife they keep it moving. Women respond to men with a vibe an aura, there's a reason why assholes and arrogance gets a lot of pussy. Once you have "IT" going for you and women know you have "IT" what you get is what you almost never see now or rarely see it and that's catching a woman checking you out multiple times in a social atmosphere...

The IT factor is confidence, courage, assurance, boldness, mettle, poise, nerve, fortitude and toss in a bit of swagger and that = IT and pussy galore
 
No he is a white guy, we started at the firm at about the same time, but were in different areas. But became fast friends.

As for playing the field though I do plan on it, that doesnt mean that I am going to jump into bed with every woman that I can, because I am not that type of guy. As for breaking hearts just for the sake of doing it well I wouldnt do that either.

The fact though is that I am very limited in my dating and women experience. I spent most of my 20's on school and career. While most people my age were out dating and finding out the type of person that fit them I have yet to do that.

But right now I dont have to worry about any of that because finding one woman to go out with is difficult enough.

Oh and DI that movie you recommended "the secret" I watched it this weekend and it had many excellent points. Thank you for recommending it.
 
From my experience, if I'm dealing with a mature and intelligent man, the danger of a lot of hurt feelings is greatly minimized. I noticed that when a guy is interested in me but I don't return his call, or act evasive if he asks me out - a smart and intuitive guy will get the picture and leave me alone. Even if he's hurt he'll be a man about and it and move on, there are plenty of women out in the world and they keep making more.:D Morons, on the other hand, tend to harass me until I want to shoot myself, and they'll bitch and moan like you won't believe.

It's gotta be the same with women, am I right? A smart girl will probably take smart steps and try to protect her heart, while an idiot will attract all kinds of drama into her life and then cry and call all men jerks... You can't insure yourself against a broken heart, because hearts make their own decisions, but you can take pride in being somebody who acts honorably...

I hope that made sense.
 
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Moskvichka said:
I noticed that when a guy is interested in me but I don't return his call, or act evasive if he asks me out - a smart and intuitive guy will get the picture and leave me alone. Even if he's hurt he'll be a man about and it and move on, there are plenty of women out in the world and they keep making more.:D Morons, on the other hand, tend to harass me
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You have now spoken out of both sides of your mouth. You condemn my advice to not commit to the first woman who likes you, yet sit here and casually talk about ignoring the calls of interested guys, expecting them to "be a man and move on". If they pursue, they are morons according to you. Smacks of straight up hypocrisy and totally justifies the advice I gave.
 
Sir Nose said:
You have now spoken out of both sides of your mouth. You condemn my advice to not commit to the first woman who likes you, yet sit here and casually talk about ignoring the calls of interested guys, expecting them to "be a man and move on". If they pursue, they are morons according to you. Smacks of straight up hypocrisy and totally justifies the advice I gave.
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I'm not talking about you or your advice. I'm asking a question. I'm asking whether or not what I've observed with men, is also true with women from a man's standpoint. I reject men I'm not interested in very early on because I take people's feelings seriously and I won't lead somebody on if I'm not interested. I won't use somebody for a free date or a fun time, never have and never will. I appreciate the same done to me. I've had first dates after which I've never heard back from a guy, and I would prefer that a hundred times to being strung along if a guy is not really interested. You see?

Case on point: met a guy at the end of last year who was VERY interested, and I wasn't. We had one blind date. He then invited me to a New Year's party and was going to pay money (a lot of money) for me. I had no plans and could have gladly agreed, but I didn't because I don't do that type of s***t to people.
 
OF COURSE you don't commit to the first woman who likes you. You commit to a woman who makes you want to commit. So when someone has feelings for you that you can't reciprocate, you do the right thing by them, set them free, and move on... move the hell on...
 
Moskvichka said:
OF COURSE you don't commit to the first woman who likes you. You commit to a woman who makes you want to commit. So when someone has feelings for you that you can't reciprocate, you do the right thing by them, set them free, and move on... move the hell on...
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Cosign...damn girl, you said it!:smt038
 
glt1980 said:
Thank you for the advice that is kinda the plan I am on now though I will actually be 29 on Jan 1st. I have actually already have degrees in Finance and Economics, and an MBA from Kellogg School of Management. Well as for career well lets just say that I am one of the people making money in the markets now and once the economy finally turns around I will finally be able to realize my dream of starting and running my own investment firm. As for the workout habits well there is actually nothing better for improving your performance at when trading the markets than exercise according to most people, plus I really dont feel right when I dont exercise.
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All of the above is great, but it won't help you if women see you as "nice" and "sweet" and "safe". Those things = BORING which = PREDICTABLE which = ALWAYS A FRIEND. And you'll end up being the guy they call to help move the furniture or to talk with about how awful other men are and why they can't meet "someone nice like you". Ironic, huh?

Although women will SAY that's not true, look at what they DO and WHO they date. Don't be needy, don't be desperate and don't compliment/chase women without making sure that they've earned your attention. In short, be a bit more of a jerk. Not in an abusive way, but in a more challenging way.
 
All of the above is great, but it won't help you if women see you as "nice" and "sweet" and "safe". Those things = BORING which = PREDICTABLE which = ALWAYS A FRIEND. And you'll end up being the guy they call to help move the furniture or to talk with about how awful other men are and why they can't meet "someone nice like you". Ironic, huh?

Although women will SAY that's not true, look at what they DO and WHO they date. Don't be needy, don't be desperate and don't compliment/chase women without making sure that they've earned your attention. In short, be a bit more of a jerk. Not in an abusive way, but in a more challenging way.
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Dink, dink, dink! Hello, is anyone there??? Is anyone reading over here....
 
You just need your confidence back. You got knocked off your feet and lost some of your confidence. Women respond to confidence.

I was engaged to a wealthy man when I was about 21 or so. The first time I met him was at a party. He was with 2 very beautiful women. I couldnt figure it out because he wasnt very good looking, but damned if he wasnt the center of everyones attention. I decided right there and then that I had to have him, had to take him from those two girls. LOL

If you were my brother, I would set you up with my best looking girlfriends. Not as a romantic encounter, but just to take out and show off to get your confidence up. Nothing catches a womans attention than another pretty woman. Just walk into a room with a pretty woman and the other women will stare just as hard (if not harder) than the men.

Get yourself some beautiful friends to hang out with and watch how much it helps.
 
fly girl said:
Nothing catches a womans attention than another pretty woman. Just walk into a room with a pretty woman and the other women will stare just as hard (if not harder) than the men.
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:lol::lol::lol: Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode about that? When George carried around a picture of a really beautiful blonde (one of Jerry's dates), and when he was around a hot girl he'd get it out, give it a long gaze and say "She was my fiancee... she passed away." And then all the hot girls would get all intrigued.
 
Moskvichka, that episode of Seinfeld actually came on the other day.

quato102, you and true malik are right I know all my accomplishments wont help me find someone if they see me as all those things, but by the same token I am not doing those things to find someone either I am doing them for me. I know that women see me as all those things and I have had many of those talks with female friends about how awful their bfs are, and of course I have heard the why cant I find a guy like you line more times can count or stand.

Flygirl, well I wish I were your brother because I could surely use a confidence boost, it has been shaken I admit it. Thank you for the advice though, the only problem is that making friends with a beautiful woman is almost as hard as finding one to date. But is you know any that could use a good friend well then let me know.
 
Moskvichka said:
OF COURSE you don't commit to the first woman who likes you. You commit to a woman who makes you want to commit. So when someone has feelings for you that you can't reciprocate, you do the right thing by them, set them free, and move on... move the hell on...
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I am scratching my head to try and see how this isn't just a woman's way of saying, "love 'em and leave 'em" :smt017

For many it will take more than one date before you realize a person is not the right one. That doesn't mean you can't have (mutual) fun with that person as you make this discovery. Glt needs to do a lot of that...discovering, before he commits.
 
glt1980 said:
Flygirl, well I wish I were your brother because I could surely use a confidence boost, it has been shaken I admit it. Thank you for the advice though, the only problem is that making friends with a beautiful woman is almost as hard as finding one to date. But is you know any that could use a good friend well then let me know.
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You live in one of the most expensive areas of the US. There are so many young career women who can barely afford their morning wheaties let alone a dinner out. Dont you come across any women at all at work or when you are out getting lunch? Believe me when I tell you most would jump at the chance for some light chat, drinks or dinner (if you dont mind buying and it doesnt make you feel used).
 
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