what do white women love about black men?

[KnCA]

I'm sortof wondering how much of this has to do with generational/cultural stuff too.

I talked about how I was raised and how guys were as I was coming up. I'm 43. I remember my gf saying that she really thinks that much of it has to do with age and how differently people were raised at different times. To me it seems that the 40+ crowd (Mosk mentioned European men too - which I would push out to say men from outside the US even) are more apt to be those who always open doors, stand, help with a coat, maybe bring something for a date, call, and so on.

Obviously there are lots of exceptions. I've seen younger who are much better mannered than older and then some of the olders who have decided they won't do any of that any longer.

I agree it needs to be a natural thing. My boys open doors...because that's just how it's always been. if I'm with friends then I'll open the door for them. It's just a matter of manners and respect.

Just a thought.

 

[Serendipity]

Ok fair enough!

You've explained yourself all too very eloquently, but I'd still like to try and get further into your head, so that I can better understand a few more things regarding the complexities of the opposite sex. And I promise I won't scare off that easily. lol

With regards to the compliments I gave you, please know, they absolutely were all too sincere, and truly meant to be just that.

I'm glad you did not take offense to anything I said, and sure, I may have misinterpreted of some of the things you said, so please accept my apologies.

Thanks for your reply.

I don't offend easily. No apologies necessary its all good

Good to hear you don't scare off that easily ... that's a unique feature in a man - LOL *joking*

Get as far into my head as you'd like, lord knows there's a lot of empty space in there :smt043

 

[Serendipity]

I've never been much the type of guy to bring a girl flowers on a first date. Later in the relationship maybe, but on a first date I'm more likely to bring her a box of condoms to make sure she knows what my expectations are for the night.

I do open doors though. My parents didn't teach me much, but proper manners was one of the things that they did manage. That is also a lesson that I plan to teach my son(s)... so please teach your daughters some appreciation for at least the smallest semblance of chivalry.

I've learned a long time ago that we will never be able to fully understand the motives of women, so I find it best to just be yourself and do what you do. If you're a flowery kinda guy, bring her flowers. If you're a rude bastard, pull up in front of her house and honk the horn. You can only be Dr. Jeckyl for so long before Mr. Hyde stops in for a visit, anyways.

Well atleast you bring your own condoms .... what more can a girl ask for :smt043

Just busting your balls. Seriously though, I like a guy who makes his intentions known straight out so there's no guessing or misunderstanding. Directness is a feature I admire in a man. More power to ya jaisee.

 

[TheChosenOne]

I'm a charmer (or at least I try to be).

It might actually be easier to snag a 9 or 10 (in terms of looks) woman than a 6, 7 or 8 because the 9's and 10's don't generally get approached except by guys that are either super attractive with oversized egos or guys that are extremely wealthy....with oversized egos.

An average to good looking woman gets approached quite often relative to women that are in that rarified air of near perfection. They want a nice, charming, friendly and charismatic guy like anyone else but they usually deal with confident guys that are used to ALWAYS getting their way. There's a reason you see so many hot ladies with average dudes...it's not always just a money issue. Average women are not the only ones that want a well-balanced man.

 

[Serendipity]

I'm a charmer (or at least I try to be).

It might actually be easier to snag a 9 or 10 (in terms of looks) woman than a 6, 7 or 8 because the 9's and 10's don't generally get approached except by guys that are either super attractive with oversized egos or guys that are extremely wealthy....with oversized egos.

An average to good looking woman gets approached quite often relative to women that are in that rarified air of near perfection. They want a nice, charming, friendly and charismatic guy like anyone else but they usually deal with confident guys that are used to ALWAYS getting their way. There's a reason you see so many hot ladies with average dudes...it's not always just a money issue. Average women are not the only ones that want a well-balanced man.

I always thought "hot" women choose the "average" man because they want all the attention to be on them. But that's my own theory.

I think I'm an average to good looking woman and I rarely get approached. I was talking to a friend of mine and she's prettier than me, I think, and she said the same thing, she doesn't get approached but a mutual friend of ours, that IMO is not as pretty as she or me gets approached all the time.

I think more men are quicker to approach the ones on the lower end of the scale because they think she won't reject them as opposed to the ones higher up on the scale that they feel may be "out of their league".

 

[untitled1985]

I always thought "hot" women choose the "average" man because they want all the attention to be on them. But that's my own theory.

I think I'm an average to good looking woman and I rarely get approached. I was talking to a friend of mine and she's prettier than me, I think, and she said the same thing, she doesn't get approached but a mutual friend of ours, that IMO is not as pretty as she or me gets approached all the time.

I think more men are quicker to approach the ones on the lower end of the scale because they think she won't reject them as opposed to the ones higher up on the scale that they feel may be "out of their league".

eh, my ex was gorgeous and she always got approached like every day:smt102

 

[jaisee]

Wow you bring your own Condoms, you never fail to amaze me with your romantic dating techniques lol do you gift wrap them i wonder ?all that and opening doors personally though i think whoever gets to the door first shold open it for the other it should go both ways, so you dont look like you've lost the use of your arms no one wants a Boxing Helena type lol:smt080

So, what time are you picking me up again?

 

[Bug]

So, what time are you picking me up again?

Soon as i can afford that Jet i'll be winging my way to you

Damn though! cus i gotta find that half dead rich old man first, to be able to pay for the Jet:smt079 maybe a bit of Dominatrix tactic will get him to pop his clogs quicker, sit tight :yawinkle:

 

[jaisee]

Soon as i can afford that Jet i'll be winging my way to you

Damn though! cus i gotta find that half dead rich old man first, to be able to pay for the Jet:smt079 maybe a bit of Dominatrix tactic will get him to pop his clogs quicker, sit tight :yawinkle:

That's my girl! Make it happen! Buy me a yacht when you get here, eh?

 

[Bug]

That's my girl! Make it happen! Buy me a yacht when you get here, eh?

Off course first things on my list 1.... Jaisees Yaht 2...... Jaisees Doughnut

But better hold up your end of the bargain, i want that can of coke and gift wrapped condoms, dont you get all tight on me :lol:

 

[Tinkerbell]

An average to good looking woman gets approached quite often relative to women that are in that rarified air of near perfection.

Wow, so that explains the constant attention!! OK... I still don't know how to take the news... hhhmmmm.....

I think I'm an average to good looking woman and I rarely get approached. I was talking to a friend of mine and she's prettier than me, I think, and she said the same thing, she doesn't get approached but a mutual friend of ours, that IMO is not as pretty as she or me gets approached all the time.

I think more men are quicker to approach the ones on the lower end of the scale because they think she won't reject them as opposed to the ones higher up on the scale that they feel may be "out of their league".

So if this is the case how do you ever know he approached you because he really thought you were "all that" or you were "on the lower end"?

Cuz, me, I don't like the idea of being some deadbeat guys, second or third, or lower, choice due to his own low self esteem!

The real question for me then is what can I do to make myself appear to be "out of their league" so they will leave me alone?

 

[CarlosNevada]

I'm sortof wondering how much of this has to do with generational/cultural stuff too.

I talked about how I was raised and how guys were as I was coming up. I'm 43. I remember my gf saying that she really thinks that much of it has to do with age and how differently people were raised at different times. To me it seems that the 40+ crowd (Mosk mentioned European men too - which I would push out to say men from outside the US even) are more apt to be those who always open doors, stand, help with a coat, maybe bring something for a date, call, and so on.

Obviously there are lots of exceptions. I've seen younger who are much better mannered than older and then some of the olders who have decided they won't do any of that any longer.

I agree it needs to be a natural thing. My boys open doors...because that's just how it's always been. if I'm with friends then I'll open the door for them. It's just a matter of manners and respect.

Just a thought.

I think the dilemma of reading flirtations and the confusion that follows may be tied to generational differences. I completely understand every aspect of Rinnaye's viewpoint, as I am in my late 40's. We love WW, but can still remember a time when being too forward with WW who didn't welcome the overture was literally breaking the law --- or grounds for worse. So, we have progressed in the comfort and reality of our own attraction and are confident, but we are likely, at this point in our lives, to be men of some status and standing who do not want to make any woman uncomfortable with the outward manifestation of our true desires. Since this thread has evolved into something as amusing and confusing as Abott and Costello's old "Who's on First" routine, I suggest we use that comedic exchange (I hope even our European friends on here are are familiar with it) as inspiration for a baseball approach to cracking this flirtation code. In baseball, when a coach wants a player to bunt, swing away or steal, there is an initial sign that let's the player know that the real sign is on. If that first layer of the sign is off, every following cue or giration is absolutely meaningless. If the first sign is the alert for the player to pay attention for the real sign, then the "play" is on when the second sign is given. So, my dear and lovely WW, let's try having you give us those two levels of signs, hopefully neither of which should require you to step outside your personal comfort zones.
For example, smile and make eye contact as the first indication you are flirting, but don't expect us to approach unless we give a prolonged (3 seconds or so) second glance, wink, smile or commencement of idle conversation or some other second sign that you are open to our approaching you.
I appreciate Tinkerbell, I believe, telling us to read one level of body language alone, but some of us have been in situations where the body language is clear, according to even scientific studies, but the WW's acceptance of our "advance" did not follow.

 

[KnCA]

Tink ~

I have some friends that have the same experiences that you do. With all due respect...they are much more flirtatious than they may want to admit to themselves. They will often talk about just being friendly and not understanding why all these men are coming on to them. But they aren't really taking responsibility for how they come across. If you are coming from a place of being "taken" (since you are indeed involved) then men will rarely approach.

Truly, rarely will men approach unless women have been giving some pretty clear signals of some type. Well sometimes complete idiots will...but typically men will not.

 

[CarlosNevada]

KnCA:
I just know that you didn't take down the photo of those well-pedicured, beautiful feet!!!
Seeing those pretty feet is the reason half of us get up in the morning. . You should ask permission or take a vote before you do something drastic like that. It is one seductive eye, though.

 

[dossou]

Hi all
Respect is the word
I've learn one should never joke with his girlfriend most deeper secret and pryvacy to strenghten the relationship.
Words are keys to happiness or hell.
You all know this while making love to your mate.
It's in the act of making;here Love or other deeds in life which can keep you far azway or stay close to your mate.
With the Word or the Sound you can make your mate ,here ww reach the heaven.
I do think ww lobe bm because of care and attention dispated to them.
It's not a reaching -of -the -top -mountain -process, butsomething deeper.
First bm love ww before meeting feeling or seeing them.
They're prepared within.It's something carefully planned and deamed off, as if awomen was trying to become inpregnant .
Since the ww is a woman there's all sweetness and care which goes with the dating process
then basic requirement like purchase power, home income ,work, sex,leisure time arecommon place for our generation share thesame values .
During our grandgreat parent time these things were simply imposible.
So bm are readyto share love
Of course be they white men or whatever but society is hard of hear.
The blind color generation is the U.S similar to other counties of the world do not think in terms of color of skin.This mistake come from the past .
We need to correct it.
it's not a " promotion" or " upgrade" to date a ww .
Most sista here in Africa think "you are with you ww then you think you've achieve the highest goal"
I know this is too common place in the States.
This is wrong.
The sista are strange.It doesnot work for me or if you start talking in the street phone number and so on ...then you'll have the false number.
Or they're busy about nothing or short minded
Then you ask yourself "How to get out of here?"
So thereason ARE mostly cultural reason rather than economic reason

 

[KnCA]

KnCA:
I just know that you didn't take down the photo of those well-pedicured, beautiful feet!!!
Seeing those pretty feet is the reason half of us get up in the morning. . You should ask permission or take a vote before you do something drastic like that. It is one seductive eye, though.

Geeze what started out as a joke may haunt me forever!

seductive eye? ummm it's a smiling one...but ok.

 

[Bug]

Geeze what started out as a joke may haunt me forever!

seductive eye? ummm it's a smiling one...but ok.

I agree with Carlos its a very seductive eye, i like it though
The feet were a good avatar though but the eye is equal

 

[Serendipity]

Wow, so that explains the constant attention!! OK... I still don't know how to take the news... hhhmmmm.....



So if this is the case how do you ever know he approached you because he really thought you were "all that" or you were "on the lower end"?

Cuz, me, I don't like the idea of being some deadbeat guys, second or third, or lower, choice due to his own low self esteem!

The real question for me then is what can I do to make myself appear to be "out of their league" so they will leave me alone?

I wish I had your problem Tinkerbell. Men rarely if ever approach me and those that do I want to quickly unapproach - LOL

That was just my theory but who knows why a man approaches any woman. To answer your question I don't know why a guy approaches me; neither does any woman really. I'd like to think that its because he he thought I was attractive and wants to get to know me NOT because he thought I'm on the lower end of the totem pole and I wouldn't reject him.

Actually, and it shocked the hell out of me ... I was out shopping yesterday, crossing the street and this fine guy walking towards; made eye contact, smiled went on my way. Going back I ran into him again, he approached (I never had that happen out and about) ... long story short, we talked briefly, he took my number, said he'd call me that day (yesterday) and never did. Me like an idiot I didn't take his # and I'm still beating myself up over it.

But why in hell do men get the girls number and then never call them ?

 

[Serendipity]

eh, my ex was gorgeous and she always got approached like every day:smt102

That was just my theory I didn't say I was right. I guess I give off some "unapproachable" vibe then.

 

[untitled1985]

That was just my theory I didn't say I was right. I guess I give off some "unapproachable" vibe then.

ah but it could also depend on the demeanor not talking about you
, hell i don't even approach girls low self esteem. But if I ever get the guts to it would be a girl whose smiling seems like shes having a good day than someone with a pushed up mouth etc.