Feeling Guilty About Attraction to White Women?

IHaveNoIdea said:
I'm somewhat new to interracial dating with the exception of a couple Hispanic women that I dated many years ago with nothing serious coming out of it. Anyway, I have always had an attraction for white women but never acted on it. I attribute this to my upbringing and having parents and family members that constantly reminded me that black people need to stick together.

I've noticed as the years go by that I am losing attraction towards black women, and it almost to the point where I rarely meet a black woman that can summon those feelings. I definitely can't see myself at this time in my life having a long term relationship with a black woman. I am not saying this to bash black women or put all of them in a negative light, I'm just being honest and stating my reality.

Although I am attracted to white women, a part of me feels guilty for having this attraction. Is this normal? Maybe I feel this way because I'm constantly being told there are lots of black women available for relationships, and that it is supposed to be easy pickings for someone like me. This might be the case but I don't want to end up settling for what I don't want in life which seems to be the path many people follow for sake of conformity. I just don't know. Have any of you guys gone through a period where you felt guilty for either wanting a relationship with a white women or being in one?
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By 2011, 130% of Black women will be single.




and guess what?




It's all your fault!!!!!
 
IHaveNoIdea said:
I'm somewhat new to interracial dating with the exception of a couple Hispanic women that I dated many years ago with nothing serious coming out of it. Anyway, I have always had an attraction for white women but never acted on it. I attribute this to my upbringing and having parents and family members that constantly reminded me that black people need to stick together.

I've noticed as the years go by that I am losing attraction towards black women, and it almost to the point where I rarely meet a black woman that can summon those feelings. I definitely can't see myself at this time in my life having a long term relationship with a black woman. I am not saying this to bash black women or put all of them in a negative light, I'm just being honest and stating my reality.

Although I am attracted to white women, a part of me feels guilty for having this attraction. Is this normal? Maybe I feel this way because I'm constantly being told there are lots of black women available for relationships, and that it is supposed to be easy pickings for someone like me. This might be the case but I don't want to end up settling for what I don't want in life which seems to be the path many people follow for sake of conformity. I just don't know. Have any of you guys gone through a period where you felt guilty for either wanting a relationship with a white women or being in one?
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You have to do what makes you happy. You don't live for anyone but yourself. If you feel guilty, then maybe you shouldn't date WW. I can understand the societal and family pressure, but if you care what others think, it'll continue to eat away at you.
 
You should only feel guilty if you're getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons. If you're getting into a relationship a WW because you feel like its gonna raise your social status or because you're trying to stick it to the man. Then I can see why you might feel guilty. Same goes for WW who only date BM to rebel against there parents, date BM because of some Mandingo fantasy etc etc. If you truly care/love someone, skin color should be the last thing to come in the picture. Me personally I dont have a preference (its all pink at the end of the day :)), if I find you attractive and we click, then grab on and hold on tight.
 
Kushton Slater said:
You should only feel guilty if you're getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons. If you're getting into a relationship a WW because you feel like its gonna raise your social status or because you're trying to stick it to the man. Then I can see why you might feel guilty. Same goes for WW who only date BM to rebel against there parents, date BM because of some Mandingo fantasy etc etc. If you truly care/love someone, skin color should be the last thing to come in the picture. Me personally I dont have a preference (its all pink at the end of the day :)), if I find you attractive and we click, then grab on and hold on tight.
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nicely stated:smt023
 
Kushton Slater said:
You should only feel guilty if you're getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons. If you're getting into a relationship a WW because you feel like its gonna raise your social status or because you're trying to stick it to the man. Then I can see why you might feel guilty. Same goes for WW who only date BM to rebel against there parents, date BM because of some Mandingo fantasy etc etc. If you truly care/love someone, skin color should be the last thing to come in the picture. Me personally I dont have a preference (its all pink at the end of the day :)), if I find you attractive and we click, then grab on and hold on tight.
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Yeah, what he said.

In the end, I've got too many actual important things to occupy my time and thoughts, to waste energy worrying about what other people think about who I date.

Likewise, I don't care who anyone else is dating. You do your thing, I'll do mine, and may we all be the happier for it, yes?
 
I'm curious do any of the guys have younger bw in your lives. Its just interesting to see how so many of you just have this I'm gonna do me fuck everyone attitude. Not saying you shouldn't just finding it interesting.
 
IHaveNoIdea said:
I'm somewhat new to interracial dating with the exception of a couple Hispanic women that I dated many years ago with nothing serious coming out of it. Anyway, I have always had an attraction for white women but never acted on it. I attribute this to my upbringing and having parents and family members that constantly reminded me that black people need to stick together.

I've noticed as the years go by that I am losing attraction towards black women, and it almost to the point where I rarely meet a black woman that can summon those feelings. I definitely can't see myself at this time in my life having a long term relationship with a black woman. I am not saying this to bash black women or put all of them in a negative light, I'm just being honest and stating my reality.

Although I am attracted to white women, a part of me feels guilty for having this attraction. Is this normal? Maybe I feel this way because I'm constantly being told there are lots of black women available for relationships, and that it is supposed to be easy pickings for someone like me. This might be the case but I don't want to end up settling for what I don't want in life which seems to be the path many people follow for sake of conformity. I just don't know. Have any of you guys gone through a period where you felt guilty for either wanting a relationship with a white women or being in one?
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I really wonder why this is, I'm sure that it can be explained psychologically. Why would this happen? From an evolutionary stand point, you should be attracted to most women who appear healthy and fertile and as though they would make good mothers and partners.
 
AfroLove said:
I really wonder why this is, I'm sure that it can be explained psychologically. Why would this happen? From an evolutionary stand point, you should be attracted to most women who appear healthy and fertile and as though they would make good mothers and partners.
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:smt018It's his business.

I bet there are PLENTY BW that aren't attracted to BM...but people like you won't DARE say shit about it to them.
 
flaminghetero said:
:smt018It's his business.

I bet there are PLENTY BW that aren't attracted to BM...but people like you won't DARE say shit about it to them.
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You know....I wouldn't either...but for *different* reasons, obviously...

I've given 'thumbs up' to BW/WM couples many times removed, and one BW/WM couple were good friends with me & Mellisa, as well as colleagues of mine..

Being that *I* happen to be born of an IR, I'd be a hypocrite to begrudge *anybody* else's *true* happiness..

As for what AfroLove apparently opines...


THAT'S between he and his God.


I now gracefully make my exodus permanently from this thread.


'Nuff Said!!!!










OpinionsCartoonStudios@Yahoo.Co.UK
 
AnMDBCartoon said:
You know....I wouldn't either...but for *different* reasons, obviously...

I've given 'thumbs up' to BW/WM couples many times removed, and one BW/WM couple were good friends with me & Mellisa, as well as colleagues of mine..

Being that *I* happen to be born of an IR, I'd be a hypocrite to begrudge *anybody* else's *true* happiness..

As for what AfroLove apparently opines...


THAT'S between he and his God.


I now gracefully make my exodus permanently from this thread.


'Nuff Said!!!!










OpinionsCartoonStudios@Yahoo.Co.UK
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:smt023

Good points from you as usual.
 
andrae09 said:
I'm curious do any of the guys have younger bw in your lives. Its just interesting to see how so many of you just have this I'm gonna do me fuck everyone attitude. Not saying you shouldn't just finding it interesting.
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"Fuck everyone" wasn't what I was saying, at least. The exact opposite, really.

I do have three neices, all in their teens. I have three sisters, and I have a mom that taught us all that in the end of the day, you need to live true to yourself. This is meant, whether you are generally worshipped or reviled by others: Regardless of what other people think, at the end of the day, you know if you've done right or wrong. And however it looks from the outside, if your life is really a lie or a cheat, it will bring you no real happiness, nor will you have any to give...

My mother and sisters are beautiful, confident women, and they are raising my neices with that same sense of innate self-worth. They do not need me to bring home somebody who looks like them, to know I think they are beautiful. My mom also raised us to believe that people are people -- that appearances ultimately are only skin deep, that qualities like kindness or intelligence or hatefulness or stupidity play no particular favorites when it comes to race.

So when I say you do your thing and I do mine, I'm not being dismissive. I'm actually reflecting the values I was raised with. Only your heart can tell you who to love, and you can only be true to your heart. I would never try to tell my neices anything different than that.
 
Cyrus said:
"Fuck everyone" wasn't what I was saying, at least. The exact opposite, really.

I do have three neices, all in their teens. I have three sisters, and I have a mom that taught us all that in the end of the day, you need to live true to yourself. This is meant, whether you are generally worshipped or reviled by others: Regardless of what other people think, at the end of the day, you know if you've done right or wrong. And however it looks from the outside, if your life is really a lie or a cheat, it will bring you no real happiness, nor will you have any to give...

My mother and sisters are beautiful, confident women, and they are raising my neices with that same sense of innate self-worth. They do not need me to bring home somebody who looks like them, to know I think they are beautiful. My mom also raised us to believe that people are people -- that appearances ultimately are only skin deep, that qualities like kindness or intelligence or hatefulness or stupidity play no particular favorites when it comes to race.

So when I say you do your thing and I do mine, I'm not being dismissive. I'm actually reflecting the values I was raised with. Only your heart can tell you who to love, and you can only be true to your heart. I would never try to tell my neices anything different than that.
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Co-sign. I like who I like. I don't need to feel guilty about a damn thing. I'm not gonna be PC to stoke anyone's ego. I do me, you do you. You can only follow your heart. Plus, my validation isn't needed from any group of women.
 
flaminghetero said:
Sure you can.
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Thank you!

AfroLove said:
I really wonder why this is, I'm sure that it can be explained psychologically. Why would this happen? From an evolutionary stand point, you should be attracted to most women who appear healthy and fertile and as though they would make good mothers and partners.
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I'm just curious, but why are you here?

Cyrus said:
"Fuck everyone" wasn't what I was saying, at least. The exact opposite, really.

I do have three neices, all in their teens. I have three sisters, and I have a mom that taught us all that in the end of the day, you need to live true to yourself. This is meant, whether you are generally worshipped or reviled by others: Regardless of what other people think, at the end of the day, you know if you've done right or wrong. And however it looks from the outside, if your life is really a lie or a cheat, it will bring you no real happiness, nor will you have any to give...

My mother and sisters are beautiful, confident women, and they are raising my neices with that same sense of innate self-worth. They do not need me to bring home somebody who looks like them, to know I think they are beautiful. My mom also raised us to believe that people are people -- that appearances ultimately are only skin deep, that qualities like kindness or intelligence or hatefulness or stupidity play no particular favorites when it comes to race.

So when I say you do your thing and I do mine, I'm not being dismissive. I'm actually reflecting the values I was raised with. Only your heart can tell you who to love, and you can only be true to your heart. I would never try to tell my neices anything different than that.
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Nice post....

I had a woman try and talk shit about my dating choices (Black men) and said that I date them cause I have low self esteem (usual racist stereotypical rhetoric bullshit). I attract White men too, I'm just not interested. I told her, White men don't mirror me and nor do I base my self esteem off of them.
 
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