Feeling Guilty About Attraction to White Women?

Inner Beauty said:
Amen!

I'm tired of hearing it....
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I think people will say anything to devalue bm/non bw couples. Most of the time it has nothing to do with the woman being white. If she's non black and dating a black man she will be ridiculed. In this country, black men are by far the most hated group. So any non black woman that thinks about dating us will be stereotyped just like we are. I watched over the years how white dudes, Asian dudes, Indian dudes, and Latinos poison their women against us. They don't just want their women to avoid dating black men. They want their women to be repulsed by black men. It's whole lot of ww, Asian women, Latinas, and black women that embrace this way of thinking.

I don't think you or any other white woman here should take it personally when someone accuses you of having low self esteem. The truth is the insult is not directed toward you. It's actually directed toward black men and I'm going to try to my best to explain this to you. When you hear people say shit like "black men can only get fat and ugly white girls" or "the only way a black man can get a half decent looking white woman is if he's rich." Who do you think these people are trying to degrade? Basically, what they're implying is that black men are garbage and any woman that would date is also garbage. Plus they're also saying that the only way an attractive white woman would want one of us is if the black guy has money. Meaning the value he could possibly have is his money. From what I've seen a lot of white American women have brought into this way of thinking.
 
What I'm basically trying to say is that I don't give a fuck about what anybody thinks AAM, me, or who we decided to lay the pipe too. If I did pay attention to what this society thought about me I would have problem committed suicide by now. But being the real black man that I am I would never allow anything outside of myself to influence how I view myself. I don't doubt myself or my preference. I loved my white girlfriends and I felt proud to have them at my side. I never gave a fuck about who approved or disapproved.
 
Not sure that I agree with your premise. When you are a teenager, sowing your wild oats might be your main objective which makes you less selective about your choices. I'm past the teenage years and attraction isn't just about liking a woman's outer appearance anymore, it must include liking her disposition, demeanor, mannerisms, and mentality.
AfroLove said:
I really wonder why this is, I'm sure that it can be explained psychologically. Why would this happen? From an evolutionary stand point, you should be attracted to most women who appear healthy and fertile and as though they would make good mothers and partners.
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Trey1540 said:
I think people will say anything to devalue bm/non bw couples. Most of the time it has nothing to do with the woman being white. If she's non black and dating a black man she will be ridiculed. In this country, black men are by far the most hated group. So any non black woman that thinks about dating us will be stereotyped just like we are. I watched over the years how white dudes, Asian dudes, Indian dudes, and Latinos poison their women against us. They don't just want their women to avoid dating black men. They want their women to be repulsed by black men. It's whole lot of ww, Asian women, Latinas, and black women that embrace this way of thinking.

I don't think you or any other white woman here should take it personally when someone accuses you of having low self esteem. The truth is the insult is not directed toward you. It's actually directed toward black men and I'm going to try to my best to explain this to you. When you hear people say shit like "black men can only get fat and ugly white girls" or "the only way a black man can get a half decent looking white woman is if he's rich." Who do you think these people are trying to degrade? Basically, what they're implying is that black men are garbage and any woman that would date is also garbage. Plus they're also saying that the only way an attractive white woman would want one of us is if the black guy has money. Meaning the value he could possibly have is his money. From what I've seen a lot of white American women have brought into this way of thinking.
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You don't have to tell me, I know.

This was a White lady who said this and her son was married to a BW. I assume she was projecting her issues onto me.
 
I think it is more or less the type of black women that I have been meeting over the years.

Malik True said:

I agree but I don't believe for a minute the originator of this thread feels he losing his attraction to ALL BLACK women. Halle Berry is a beast as is Meagan Good. I'm personally attracted to WOMEN across all ethnicities...
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Thanks for offering much food for thought. I can tell you are one of the veterans of the forum.

desreveRsIgnitirW said:
I wont lie,I have felt guilty from time to time and for the same reason you stated. I too grew up in a family that stressed unity among eachother and I also realized on my own that we need to be more united when it comes to certain things.

As time went on I managed to balance my feelings,its part of what maturing as a BM is about. We gotta manage our emotions and use more rationale.

I know that we still live in this racist society and need to stick together but we should not let that need manifest into something that divides us from these beautiful WW.

So I am more than willing to unite with Black women and men when the times comes to move for a positive goal,but our unity should not manifest into a hatred of ALL white people.

So with that said brotha,I am more than willing to come together with you AND the Ww you may be with when the time comes.

When you see the lovely ladies that come to this site like LiquidSwords,Tarshi (and her twins),DayDream16,InnerBeauty,Whikle,Jennymich,Robina and the loads of other women,you will see that the ignorant actions of a few White and black people should not separate us from the lovely women and more I just mentioned.

P.S. Feel free to make friends with any of the ladies on this site,I think all but one will be warm to you. But please dont be more than friends with ThickShawty,she's ALL MINE.
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Inner Beauty said:
You don't have to tell me, I know.

This was a White lady who said this and her son was married to a BW. I assume she was projecting her issues onto me.
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The way the game is played is,its basically ok for a nonblack guy to be with a black woman but as soon as a black guy gets with a nonblack woman,its problems.

Its gotten to the point now where men who ARE NOT WHITE are trying to keep white women away from black men. The guy in this video is from some where on the asian continent and is hating on Ww preferring black men over them Asians.

[YOUTUBE]X8s8gfYkn6M[/YOUTUBE]
 
Trey1540 said:
I think people will say anything to devalue bm/non bw couples. Most of the time it has nothing to do with the woman being white. If she's non black and dating a black man she will be ridiculed. In this country, black men are by far the most hated group. So any non black woman that thinks about dating us will be stereotyped just like we are. I watched over the years how white dudes, Asian dudes, Indian dudes, and Latinos poison their women against us. They don't just want their women to avoid dating black men. They want their women to be repulsed by black men. It's whole lot of ww, Asian women, Latinas, and black women that embrace this way of thinking.

I don't think you or any other white woman here should take it personally when someone accuses you of having low self esteem. The truth is the insult is not directed toward you. It's actually directed toward black men and I'm going to try to my best to explain this to you. When you hear people say shit like "black men can only get fat and ugly white girls" or "the only way a black man can get a half decent looking white woman is if he's rich." Who do you think these people are trying to degrade? Basically, what they're implying is that black men are garbage and any woman that would date is also garbage. Plus they're also saying that the only way an attractive white woman would want one of us is if the black guy has money. Meaning the value he could possibly have is his money. From what I've seen a lot of white American women have brought into this way of thinking.
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I agree with your idea that these comments are directly tied to degrading BM as well, but I think that a huge part of the origination of these comments do in fact have to something to do with the women being white. In conversations I've had with non-black men since dating BM, once the topics change to my past dating history suddenly I am viewed as "damaged goods" because I have an attraction to black men. I was actually asked by a very good friend that if I did eventually marry a WM, was I worried that he would constantly be worried that I would cheat on him with BM.....as though its some addiction or terrible syndrome I need to "control".
I think that WW should take these comments extremely personally. It takes a strong woman (and man for that matter) to do something outside of the "social norms" for our own happiness. Therefore, when people degrade this strength by saying things like we're overweight, have low self-esteem, or we're trashy and that's why we date IR, this overshadows everything good about BM/WW relationships.
 
desreveRsIgnitirW said:
The way the game is played is,its basically ok for a nonblack guy to be with a black woman but as soon as a black guy gets with a nonblack woman,its problems.

Its gotten to the point now where men who ARE NOT WHITE are trying to keep white women away from black men. The guy in this video is from some where on the asian continent and is hating on Ww preferring black men over them Asians.

[YOUTUBE]X8s8gfYkn6M[/YOUTUBE]
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His viewpoints are asinine.
 
StephanieMarie said:
I agree with your idea that these comments are directly tied to degrading BM as well, but I think that a huge part of the origination of these comments do in fact have to something to do with the women being white. In conversations I've had with non-black men since dating BM, once the topics change to my past dating history suddenly I am viewed as "damaged goods" because I have an attraction to black men. I was actually asked by a very good friend that if I did eventually marry a WM, was I worried that he would constantly be worried that I would cheat on him with BM.....as though its some addiction or terrible syndrome I need to "control".
I think that WW should take these comments extremely personally. It takes a strong woman (and man for that matter) to do something outside of the "social norms" for our own happiness. Therefore, when people degrade this strength by saying things like we're overweight, have low self-esteem, or we're trashy and that's why we date IR, this overshadows everything good about BM/WW relationships.
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Amen Chica!

Glad to see you decided to post....:)
 
StephanieMarie said:
I agree with your idea that these comments are directly tied to degrading BM as well, but I think that a huge part of the origination of these comments do in fact have to something to do with the women being white. In conversations I've had with non-black men since dating BM, once the topics change to my past dating history suddenly I am viewed as "damaged goods" because I have an attraction to black men. I was actually asked by a very good friend that if I did eventually marry a WM, was I worried that he would constantly be worried that I would cheat on him with BM.....as though its some addiction or terrible syndrome I need to "control".
I think that WW should take these comments extremely personally. It takes a strong woman (and man for that matter) to do something outside of the "social norms" for our own happiness. Therefore, when people degrade this strength by saying things like we're overweight, have low self-esteem, or we're trashy and that's why we date IR, this overshadows everything good about BM/WW relationships.
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Hey Steph,glad you posted.

I agree with what you put in bold. If more WW thought like you,this world would be a better place.
 
Inner Beauty said:
You don't have to tell me, I know.

This was a White lady who said this and her son was married to a BW. I assume she was projecting her issues onto me.
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I know you're a very intelligent lady IB and I got the utmost respect for you.
StephanieMarie said:
I agree with your idea that these comments are directly tied to degrading BM as well, but I think that a huge part of the origination of these comments do in fact have to something to do with the women being white. In conversations I've had with non-black men since dating BM, once the topics change to my past dating history suddenly I am viewed as "damaged goods" because I have an attraction to black men. I was actually asked by a very good friend that if I did eventually marry a WM, was I worried that he would constantly be worried that I would cheat on him with BM.....as though its some addiction or terrible syndrome I need to "control".
I think that WW should take these comments extremely personally. It takes a strong woman (and man for that matter) to do something outside of the "social norms" for our own happiness. Therefore, when people degrade this strength by saying things like we're overweight, have low self-esteem, or we're trashy and that's why we date IR, this overshadows everything good about BM/WW relationships.
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They use that "damaged goods" and "tainted" lines to make you regret ever dating or wanting to date black guy. It's nothing more than insecurity and jealously. I don't think people realize how strong some WW have to be to date BM. My ex girlfriend go disowned by her family when they found we were messing around. They were disgusted by the idea of us being in a relationship. Through all of that bullshit she stuck by me. Even to this day she says she got Italian guys around her way calling her the nigger lover. What pisses me off is none of these non black dudes never approach the black man. They always go to the female and talk shit to her, which is a bitch move if you ask me.

I can't tell you what and what not to take personally. Just understand that I view those niggas as a bunch bitches that's not man enough to tell us stay away from white women. So they talk shit to you because they talking shit to us might have consequences. Basically, ya just caught in the middle. However, you're right, that's why I love, respect, and appreciate all the white women that stick by us. Being a black man is this country is hard and takes a lot of strength to walk in our shoes or stick by us.
 
Trey1540 said:
I know you're a very intelligent lady IB and I got the utmost respect for you.

They use that "damaged goods" and "tainted" lines to make you regret ever dating or wanting to date black guy. It's nothing more than insecurity and jealously. I don't think people realize how strong some WW have to be to date BM. My ex girlfriend go disowned by her family when they found we were messing around. They were disgusted by the idea of us being in a relationship. Through all of that bullshit she stuck by me. Even to this day she says she got Italian guys around her way calling her the nigger lover. What pisses me off is none of these non black dudes never approach the black man. They always go to the female and talk shit to her, which is a bitch move if you ask me.

I can't tell you what and what not to take personally. Just understand that I view those niggas as a bunch bitches that's not man enough to tell us stay away from white women. So they talk shit to you because they talking shit to us might have consequences. Basically, ya just caught in the middle. However, you're right, that's why I love, respect, and appreciate all the white women that stick by us. Being a black man is this country is hard and takes a lot of strength to walk in our shoes or stick by us.
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Thank you. That's very nice of you to say....

It is definitely hard to have to endure racist or prejudiced assholes, be it women or men who disagree with who you date. All we can do is keep on truckin'. We're always on the front lines when it comes to our unions. If you don't come across people you know talking shit, sometimes you find them in public. It sucks to have our characters (be it WW or BM) insulted, cause that's what they're doing.

Sad on many accounts....
 
Trey1540 said:
I know you're a very intelligent lady IB and I got the utmost respect for you.

They use that "damaged goods" and "tainted" lines to make you regret ever dating or wanting to date black guy. It's nothing more than insecurity and jealously. I don't think people realize how strong some WW have to be to date BM. My ex girlfriend go disowned by her family when they found we were messing around. They were disgusted by the idea of us being in a relationship. Through all of that bullshit she stuck by me. Even to this day she says she got Italian guys around her way calling her the nigger lover. What pisses me off is none of these non black dudes never approach the black man. They always go to the female and talk shit to her, which is a bitch move if you ask me.

I can't tell you what and what not to take personally. Just understand that I view those niggas as a bunch bitches that's not man enough to tell us stay away from white women. So they talk shit to you because they talking shit to us might have consequences. Basically, ya just caught in the middle. However, you're right, that's why I love, respect, and appreciate all the white women that stick by us. Being a black man is this country is hard and takes a lot of strength to walk in our shoes or stick by us.
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That's exactly the kind of thing I had going on for awhile. I had to end friendships over my relationships...not because I would ever choose a man over my friends, but because I couldn't in good conscience be friends with people that suddenly felt entitled to voicing their previously closeted racist remarks. IR dating can really show you things about people you never thought possible.

To the second quote: you can't find that strength many places!
 
StephanieMarie said:
That's exactly the kind of thing I had going on for awhile. I had to end friendships over my relationships...not because I would ever choose a man over my friends, but because I couldn't in good conscience be friends with people that suddenly felt entitled to voicing their previously closeted racist remarks. IR dating can really show you things about people you never thought possible.

To the second quote: you can't find that strength many places!
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Steph if thats you in your avatar you look good as hell!!
images
 
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