Seeing an Ex

At least now you know, so you can move forward with your new guy without complications from the old one. :smt023

 

He's a guy. He is wanting some booty. Come on its not rocket science

 

aaahhh yes, the five finger love-fest. gotcha

see statement above. does that cover it on another way of saying it tip

 

And I did tell the new guy that the ex asked me to lunch and I said no. New guy said that maybe in time he would be okay with us being friends, but not right now. So I will honor and respect that

 

I disagree.... also, if you keep a guy around as a security blanket, then its not healthy.

I believe you can be friends w Xs.. but only if both have no mental, emotional and physical connection and attraction. I think that is very possible if both are adult about it. Sometimes we are better off as friends. You can appreciate people for qualities they possess after you broke up and if the break-up was uneventful and no bad feelings linger and you allow a time to pass by - its very possible. Granted, it may not be possible for other reasons such as new bfs and gfs etc but that is another story.

Once Im done, Im done - I really dont have any emotional or physical attractions to Xs. Once done, its all gone. Done. In a situation like this, I would out of respect for the new guy leave it alone however.

 

Indeed,

Anything is possible. I mean we did put a man on the moon. But reality is quite another animal. And I would say most people keep Xs around as a feel good stand-in. There are few relationships were people wake up and realize "Hey we are not good together" but most relationships end because of breach of trust, lack of motivation, or a whole slew of adjectives. So it puzzles me that people would look at a mate and say "I don't want you in my life.........sort of, but I'll be your friend" And then to keep that man/or woman around you have had inside your body and shared your spirit with.

...generally speaking women keep these men around as sort of comfort food and men stick around because, well...there is ALWAYS that chance we could "taste" it again. Married, Single, (etc). Really irrelevant.

Nothing may happen, ever......but the differences between men and women and how we handle emotions is the reason its hard for us to interact on a platonic level and not have there be other feelings.

 

but only if both have no mental, emotional and physical connection and attraction- I agree that is why I intially said I would go to lunch with him, as for me those fellings are gone, not sure if they are with him, so that is why I was heisitatant on the invite.
if the break-up was uneventful and no bad feelings linger and you allow a time to pass by - its very possible. Again I agree, has we came to an impass and knew it would not chnage, but we still like and respect each other as people.
Granted, it may not be possible for other reasons such as new bfs and gfs etc but that is another story- That is one reaons for now we will not be anymore than talk one the phone once in a while type friends because my new guy asked me not to see the ex as friends until a good deal more time has passed and I will honor that wish

 

I dont understand why its puzzling that you can love people of the opposite sex in other ways than romantic. It takes a while to get to know eachother and during that process you may come to realize that this is a relationship that will not work. Not because there as been any deceit etc but simply because there is large differences of what you want in life or you simply realize there is no romantic feelings there...

I think both men and women have a tendency to keep an x around if there are no new prospects around, its an ego boost. Like I said, I find it unhealthy and have never done that, Im done and find no interest to keep them around. A friendship can only happen once that phase is done with. down the road.

I know what you are saying about men and the platonic thing.. Im not naive, but I do know its possible... but there has to be a reason for men and women to look past that. Sometimes people really are that valuable to you that your want to have them in your life. Is it the norm? No, but it is possible.

 

I agree with everything you wrote above.

 

[QUOTE=FG;425733]I dont understand why its puzzling that you can love people of the opposite sex in other ways than romantic. It takes a while to get to know eachother and during that process you may come to realize that this is a relationship that will not work. Not because there as been any deceit etc but simply because there is large differences of what you want in life or you simply realize there is no romantic feelings there...

I think both men and women have a tendency to keep an x around if there are no new prospects around, its an ego boost. Like I said, I find it unhealthy and have never done that, Im done and find no interest to keep them around. A friendship can only happen once that phase is done with. down the road.

I know what you are saying about men and the platonic thing.. Im not naive, but I do know its possible... but there has to be a reason for men and women to look past that. Sometimes people really are that valuable to you that your want to have them in your life. Is it the norm? No, but it is possible.[/QUOTE]

Women can do that easily but for a man if you are very attractive as a female you need extreme self control not to wish you were inside the pants of your hot female friend don't get me wrong men can have attractive single female friends but at least one time they would think of hitting it, its just how we are wired. So basically the dude wants to have sex with that lady period.

 

I wanted to REP you but I need to spread around, so I'll say it here. How can you be some awesomely smart? :smt055

 

I'm wondering what made you think he would have been ok with it in the first place though? Would you be ok with him being friends with an ex?

 

Oh... I missed this one... but DAMN, Fresh Bad, bad, bad boy. You deserve some dirty talk in italian, lol.

P.S. sounds like did that with your EXs a lot, lol.

 

MAMA MIA! there is nothing hotter than a hot chick talking dirty in a foreign language, you don't understand it but it still makes you horny as hell

 

depends on the people if they can stay friends after a relationship also why they broke up, im still very good friends with my last ex, others i would be just hi and watever, can be too awkward with some exs, but its easy to tell if a ex is wanting to meet up for sex, i can normally tell when their thirsty haha

 

To be honest, yes I would. He had a life before me and should continue to have a life independently.

 

explain this to me.

 

Yeah but a recent can't really be your friend. I guess for me I would wonder why do you need to keep this person in your life if you aren't with them anymore because someone you freshly break up with can't really be your friend right away.

 

This I agree with, and more to the point after a recent break the emotional connection is still there and is probably pretty strong.

...those are the people I mentioned before that keep Xs around as comfort fool. But there is something else I meant to mention as well. From some reason everyone wants to be FRIENDS (in the loosest sense of the word) and we can't be friends to everyone. We can't even like everyone. Sometimes you jsut gotta say...

...FUCK HIM/HER and keep it movin'

 

I agree with you and witht he ex and I it is a matter of timing. I think we will probably be talk once in a while on the phone friends for the time being and perhaps with time and space and when he has a new significant other we can be better friends. I was just grateful that the first intial contact when he did run into my new guy and I was not horrible and the next time, I'm sure it will be easier. Like i previously stated running into each other is bound to happen due to the small size of the community, so it is what it is and it is better to exchange pleasantries rather than fists.