what do white women love about black men?

karmacoma. said:
I guess at least if you claim Indian you can get a pass on taxes and open up a casino. There's no money in being black. LOL
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LOL. My stupid relatives can't claim anything. The ones still living are too stupid to even know what tribe we're decended from. The only one who knew much about any of it was my granny (great grandmother), but according to her last husband it made no difference; since she wasn't white that meant she was just a n------.
 
Tamstrong said:
LOL. My stupid relatives can't claim anything. The ones still living are too stupid to even know what tribe we're decended from. The only one who knew much about any of it was my granny (great grandmother), but according to her last husband it made no difference; since she wasn't white that meant she was just a n------.
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This *is* rural TX we're talking about.
 
Tamstrong said:
LOL. My stupid relatives can't claim anything. The ones still living are too stupid to even know what tribe we're decended from. The only one who knew much about any of it was my granny (great grandmother), but according to her last husband it made no difference; since she wasn't white that meant she was just a n------.
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You have an Indian grandmother?
 
karmacoma. said:
This *is* rural TX we're talking about.
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Sadly at the time it was the city of Fort Worth, TX. It was back when I was little, & he was a hateful bastard. He used to call her that all the time & tell her she was his slave & shit like that...it was pretty ugly. I was glad for her when his ass dropped dead. Sometimes she'd say she was lucky to have him, because her first husband died in the late 1920's & she met & married that bastard in the mid 1930's, so until she met him she was selling herself to feed her kids. My granny did not believe in divorce, but even if she had, back then it was a lot tougher to be a single woman/mother.
 
Tamstrong said:
LOL. My stupid relatives can't claim anything. The ones still living are too stupid to even know what tribe we're decended from. The only one who knew much about any of it was my granny (great grandmother), but according to her last husband it made no difference; since she wasn't white that meant she was just a n------.
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Just a question. how did you fight off all the prejudice you faced? Do you still deal with family? How about your child. Were you able to protect him/her from all the ugliness?

It seems like you have had to single handedly fight your family and angry black women as well. Have your had friends that helped you thru the tough times?

When i hear stories like this, it makes me feel bad for the daughter/mother in the scenario because she (you) has to fight for her right to CHOOSE and always EXPLAIN herself when she shouldn't have to.

Its not right.

Truth be told, for many of us there's typically something else floating around in the gene pool.
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As for white ancestry thing. Its amazing the arrogance that alots of people have towards race mixes and so on.

have you ever heard of the "white studies"

http://whitepriv.blogspot.com/2006/10/critical-white-studies.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiteness_studies

its 90% non-sense to me be at the end of the day - its all about an IMAGE of what whiteness is suppoesed to be. WHITE LOOKS.

and i guess your family is hypocritical about it but that they are angry because you have introduced a new race into the family. african-american. And they are not emotionally mature enough to look an their own ancestral race mirror.

this documentary here comes to mind

http://www.myspace.com/video/vid/1280600317

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBkzaMOz87E

if you were in certain euro countries, i don't think anybody would care abotu the race side of things.
 
Bhayes said:
Just a question. how did you fight off all the prejudice you faced? Do you still deal with family? How about your child. Were you able to protect him/her from all the ugliness?

It seems like you have had to single handedly fight your family and angry black women as well. Have your had friends that helped you thru the tough times?

When i hear stories like this, it makes me feel bad for the daughter/mother in the scenario because she (you) has to fight for her right to CHOOSE and always EXPLAIN herself when she shouldn't have to.

Its not right.



As for white ancestry thing. Its amazing the arrogance that alots of people have towards race mixes and so on.

have you ever heard of the "white studies"

http://whitepriv.blogspot.com/2006/10/critical-white-studies.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiteness_studies

its 90% non-sense to me be at the end of the day - its all about an IMAGE of what whiteness is suppoesed to be. LOOKS.

and i guess your family is hypocritical about it but that they are angry because you have introduced a new race into the family. And they are not emotionally mature enough to look an their own mirror.

this documentary here comes to mind

http://www.myspace.com/video/vid/1280600317

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBkzaMOz87E
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I basically had to develop a tough skin. Growing up as the eldest child in the family I had to deal with an overbearing mother who depended on me far too much (my dad was on the road working so he was seldom there). I tried like hell to please my mama, but she was miserable so nothing I did ever made her happy, but that didn't stop me from trying. When I was old enough to leave home for school (she tried to stop me from leaving), I finally felt like I was free to be me. Once I had that freedom, I flourished. For the first time in my life I felt like I was worth something, & I had the confidence to do what I wanted to do without dealing with the negativity & judgement I dealt with at home.

Growing up I did have black friends, but I was not allowed to date black guys...my parents would have killed my ass if I'd tried. I was even afraid to tell them that some of those black friends were male, because I knew I'd be in trouble. It was ridiculous. Surprisingly once they did allow me to date a mexican guy who was the son of a friend of my daddy's. If my daddy didn't know his dad, most likely it wouldn't have happened. I dated very little until I left home to go to school. It may seem weird to most folks, but I seldom was attracted to white guys...I was always attracted to black guys. I've gone on only 3 dates with 3 different white guys in my entire life...all in high school.

My parents weren't too crazy about my new environment. I even moved into a campus apartment with three black roommates & they just about shit on themselves. When I left home, I dated who I wanted to date; I didn't give a shit anymore who liked & who didn't. Basically I had a 'fuck you' attitude & it helped me a lot. After what I'd already been through & finally getting my freedom, I decided I was done letting people make my decisions for me. It wasn't easy though, & sometimes it was downright painful, BUT I refused to give in. Every shitty thing...even when I didn't realize it at the time...made me a stronger person. I also had some great friends who helped me through everything; they knew what it was like to be judged & hated & they had my back.

My son has had some issues, but he has a strong enough spirit not to allow things to phase him. He basically has the same attitude I do when it comes to worrying about what others think. He's still had to deal with quite a bit of ugliness (& still does on occasion), but he doesn't let it get the best of him. He doesn't really understand yet, just how ugly it can be, but as he ventures further out into the world of adults, he's got some tough lessons coming (not that he belives me when I tell him so).

My family still has idiot moments, but they have come a long way. They still have a ways to go though.
 
Tamstrong said:
I basically had to develop a tough skin. Growing up as the eldest child in the family I had to deal with an overbearing mother who depended on me far too much (my dad was on the road working so he was seldom there). I tried like hell to please my mama, but she was miserable so nothing I did ever made her happy, but that didn't stop me from trying. When I was old enough to leave home for school (she tried to stop me from leaving), I finally felt like I was free to be me. Once I had that freedom, I flourished. For the first time in my life I felt like I was worth something, & I had the confidence to do what I wanted to do without dealing with the negativity & judgement I dealt with at home.

Growing up I did have black friends, but I was not allowed to date black guys...my parents would have killed my ass if I'd tried. I was even afraid to tell them that some of those black friends were male, because I knew I'd be in trouble. It was ridiculous. Surprisingly once they did allow me to date a mexican guy who was the son of a friend of my daddy's. If my daddy didn't know his dad, most likely it wouldn't have happened. I dated very little until I left home to go to school. It may seem weird to most folks, but I seldom was attracted to white guys...I was always attracted to black guys. I've gone on only 3 dates with 3 different white guys in my entire life...all in high school.

My parents weren't too crazy about my new environment. I even moved into a campus apartment with three black roommates & they just about shit on themselves. When I left home, I dated who I wanted to date; I didn't give a shit anymore who liked & who didn't. Basically I had a 'fuck you' attitude & it helped me a lot. After what I'd already been through & finally getting my freedom, I decided I was done letting people make my decisions for me. It wasn't easy though, & sometimes it was downright painful, BUT I refused to give in. Every shitty thing...even when I didn't realize it at the time...made me a stronger person. I also had some great friends who helped me through everything; they knew what it was like to be judged & hated & they had my back.

My son has had some issues, but he has a strong enough spirit not to allow things to phase him. He basically has the same attitude I do when it comes to worrying about what others think. He's still had to deal with quite a bit of ugliness (& still does on occasion), but he doesn't let it get the best of him. He doesn't really understand yet, just how ugly it can be, but as he ventures further out into the world of adults, he's got some tough lessons coming (not that he belives me when I tell him so).

My family still has idiot moments, but they have come a long way. They still have a ways to go though.
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This is a perfect example of what we had our little discussion about and why you should post. :smt038
 
Tamstrong said:
I basically had to develop a tough skin. Growing up as the eldest child in the family I had to deal with an overbearing mother who depended on me far too much (my dad was on the road working so he was seldom there). I tried like hell to please my mama, but she was miserable so nothing I did ever made her happy, but that didn't stop me from trying. When I was old enough to leave home for school (she tried to stop me from leaving), I finally felt like I was free to be me. Once I had that freedom, I flourished. For the first time in my life I felt like I was worth something, & I had the confidence to do what I wanted to do without dealing with the negativity & judgement I dealt with at home.

Growing up I did have black friends, but I was not allowed to date black guys...my parents would have killed my ass if I'd tried. I was even afraid to tell them that some of those black friends were male, because I knew I'd be in trouble. It was ridiculous. Surprisingly once they did allow me to date a mexican guy who was the son of a friend of my daddy's. If my daddy didn't know his dad, most likely it wouldn't have happened. I dated very little until I left home to go to school. It may seem weird to most folks, but I seldom was attracted to white guys...I was always attracted to black guys. I've gone on only 3 dates with 3 different white guys in my entire life...all in high school.

My parents weren't too crazy about my new environment. I even moved into a campus apartment with three black roommates & they just about shit on themselves. When I left home, I dated who I wanted to date; I didn't give a shit anymore who liked & who didn't. Basically I had a 'fuck you' attitude & it helped me a lot. After what I'd already been through & finally getting my freedom, I decided I was done letting people make my decisions for me. It wasn't easy though, & sometimes it was downright painful, BUT I refused to give in. Every shitty thing...even when I didn't realize it at the time...made me a stronger person. I also had some great friends who helped me through everything; they knew what it was like to be judged & hated & they had my back.

My son has had some issues, but he has a strong enough spirit not to allow things to phase him. He basically has the same attitude I do when it comes to worrying about what others think. He's still had to deal with quite a bit of ugliness (& still does on occasion), but he doesn't let it get the best of him. He doesn't really understand yet, just how ugly it can be, but as he ventures further out into the world of adults, he's got some tough lessons coming (not that he belives me when I tell him so).

My family still has idiot moments, but they have come a long way. They still have a ways to go though.
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It seems like you have come full circle. Its a shame that you had to fight so much racism/prejudice from family.

awareness and knowledge is key. and just try to remember to do things that will attract the right kind of people into your life. I have learned that sometimes, in order to get love your have to give love.

Some people are fortunately blessed with talent, looks and family/friends and they don't have to work hard to be loved and appreciated.

have you ever thought about doing charity work as a hobby and getting your son involved in it? Finding a worthy cause to give to can really motivate a person in positive ways.

Do you like to exercise? I find that exercise helps me release lots of tension as well, when things get under my skin.

What about the father of your child. Was he supportive? Did he help make it alittle easier?
 
Bhayes said:
It seems like you have come full circle. Its a shame that you had to fight so much racism/prejudice from family.

awareness and knowledge is key. and just try to remember to do things that will attract the right kind of people into your life. I have learned that sometimes, in order to get love your have to give love.

have you ever thought about doing charity work as a hobby and getting your son involved in it? Finding a worthy cause to give to can really motivate a person.

What about the father of your child. Was he supportive? Did he help make it alittle easier?
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I could look at it as being a shame that I had to fight so hard, but I try to focus on the good that came of it all. As I said, it made me stronger & it helped me to learn & grow as a person. It was also worth it to be able to get through to my parents...their attitudes are completely different now & still improving. Even my brothers, although they still don't like it & at times are too vocal about it, have gained some understanding.

I am particular about who I allow in my life; I won't abide with the negativity or hatred anymore. I don't hate anyone & I don't waste time with anyone who hates me. I intend to be happy in my life & I do my best no allow anyone to interfere with that. Now that my son is grown, I hope he can find that for himself as well.

My son has never met his "father". He chose not to be a part of my son's life for several selfish reasons. He did intermittently pay child support...I got into his wallet while he was sleeping right after I told him I was pregnant & wrote down his ss#, dl# & any other personal info I could & turned it in to the state, & they made him pay. My gut told me he was going to leave me hanging, so I did what I had to do. What bothers me is that my son doesn't know the black side of his family & I think it would be better for him if he did. However, I think his "dad" did him a favor by staying away...he's NOT a real man, so he couldn't have taught my son how to be one.
 
Tamstrong said:
My son has never met his "father". He chose not to be a part of my son's life for several selfish reasons. He did intermittently pay child support...I got into his wallet while he was sleeping right after I told him I was pregnant & wrote down his ss#, dl# & any other personal info I could & turned it in to the state, & they made him pay. My gut told me he was going to leave me hanging, so I did what I had to do. What bothers me is that my son doesn't know the black side of his family & I think it would be better for him if he did. However, I think his "dad" did him a favor by staying away...he's NOT a real man, so he couldn't have taught my son how to be one.
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I found that highlighted part interesting, smart move you made. You must have been determined and also self assured to have your wits together to be able to do what you mentioned.

As weird at it seems, I am glad you charted your own course and walked the path. Your story is one filled with high sense of moral values. Interestingly, those that worked against you would have thought to themselves that they had a higher sense of moral values. Yet, anyone that reads your story can clearly see who was more humane.

Cheers to how far you have come and many more successes in your life.
 
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Tamstrong said:
I basically had to develop a tough skin. Growing up as the eldest child in the family I had to deal with an overbearing mother who depended on me far too much (my dad was on the road working so he was seldom there). I tried like hell to please my mama, but she was miserable so nothing I did ever made her happy, but that didn't stop me from trying. When I was old enough to leave home for school (she tried to stop me from leaving), I finally felt like I was free to be me. Once I had that freedom, I flourished. For the first time in my life I felt like I was worth something, & I had the confidence to do what I wanted to do without dealing with the negativity & judgement I dealt with at home.

Growing up I did have black friends, but I was not allowed to date black guys...my parents would have killed my ass if I'd tried. I was even afraid to tell them that some of those black friends were male, because I knew I'd be in trouble. It was ridiculous. Surprisingly once they did allow me to date a mexican guy who was the son of a friend of my daddy's. If my daddy didn't know his dad, most likely it wouldn't have happened. I dated very little until I left home to go to school. It may seem weird to most folks, but I seldom was attracted to white guys...I was always attracted to black guys. I've gone on only 3 dates with 3 different white guys in my entire life...all in high school.

My parents weren't too crazy about my new environment. I even moved into a campus apartment with three black roommates & they just about shit on themselves. When I left home, I dated who I wanted to date; I didn't give a shit anymore who liked & who didn't. Basically I had a 'fuck you' attitude & it helped me a lot. After what I'd already been through & finally getting my freedom, I decided I was done letting people make my decisions for me. It wasn't easy though, & sometimes it was downright painful, BUT I refused to give in. Every shitty thing...even when I didn't realize it at the time...made me a stronger person. I also had some great friends who helped me through everything; they knew what it was like to be judged & hated & they had my back.

My son has had some issues, but he has a strong enough spirit not to allow things to phase him. He basically has the same attitude I do when it comes to worrying about what others think. He's still had to deal with quite a bit of ugliness (& still does on occasion), but he doesn't let it get the best of him. He doesn't really understand yet, just how ugly it can be, but as he ventures further out into the world of adults, he's got some tough lessons coming (not that he belives me when I tell him so).

My family still has idiot moments, but they have come a long way. They still have a ways to go though.
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Very insightful stuff Tam. Can definitely see how you developed a strong personality. :)
 
naija4real said:
I found that highlighted part interesting, smart move you made. You must have determined and self assured of the to have your wits together to do what you mentioned.

As weird at it seems, I am glad you charted your own course and walked the path. Your story is one filled with higher sense of moral values. Interestingly, those that worked against you would have thought to themselves that they had a higher sense of moral values. Yet, anyone that reads your story can clearly see who was more humane.

Cheers to how far you have come and many more successes in your life.
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Thanks, Naija. What was most interesting to me about what I did was that I was running on instinct. Sometimes I make the mistake of not listening to my gut, & it always comes back & bites me. I was hoping I was wrong about him, but deep down I knew I wasn't. The only times I've seen him over the years since he left the summer I got pregnant was when my son was 15 months old in court & when my son was 8 in court. His visitation schedule was set up the first time we went to court...of course, he never bothered to visit my son.

I'm glad I went through what I did too. It made me strong enough (with God's help) to deal with life, and it made me a better person.


GQ Brotha said:
Very insightful stuff Tam. Can definitely see how you developed a strong personality. :)
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Thanks, GQ...I'll take that as a compliment; hopefully that's not your way of telling me I'm a head-strong pain in the ass. lol ;)
 
Ginger said:
I know why I love BM, but why do BM love WW?:smt051
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In case you missed it just a couple of posts why.

I'm attracted to their femininity, that soft, creamy skin, beautiful eyes, long flowing hair.

I love the way they talk, Southern accents, valley girl accents, foreign accents, etc, etc. Because I love different cultures that just appeals to me.

I like them very intelligent and worldly, to me that is so intense and stimulating in a relationship, to have someone you can share knowledge with and learn from one another across a varying spectrum of interests.

Of all the women I find white women to be the sexiest, some men love black women, latina women, Asian women, Indian women, or some combination, for me its white women with a sexy style and substance to them.

The physical interaction is much more passionate, because of the black/white contrast and black masculinity/white femininity.

Because of historical conditions, the Black Male - White Female interracial relationship is without a doubt the most powerful at evoking scrutiny. It testifies to the dynamics at work in these relationships. It garners the attention of others for numerous reasons.

The bottom line is I find white women to be sexy, beautiful and sharing many of my personal interests, so I am attracted to them because of those things coming together.

chocolatecream4u said:
my attraction to the white woman is her soft eloquent speech open mind and intelligence, her easy going attitude,softness of her the skin,gracefulness of her walk and her ability to be sweet kind and loyal to the man she's with and open to doing any and everything at her man's request within reason,i love a girly girl that's into sexy dressing,manicures and pedicures i love it..:heart:and definately like a woman that is sexually engergized at sight of her black man.:smt054
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