Who do you miss..

I think it's funny how people talk about the job moderators do without having any actual idea what moderators do and which mods are most active etc... :rolleyes:
 
The constant thing in life is change. A community would reflect how tastes and values change in society. Once, you start to notice you feel uncomfortable on a site, it either means you time is over, and the better thing to do is move on. It does not necessarily mean there is lesser intellectual content, but rather that the demography that values such endeavours are becoming extinct, or need another market to cater to their activities.

A good illustration is working at Macdonalds. At a certain point in history, many Nigerians university students, especially those born in the UK, and of middle class parentage, traveled there during the summer, worked their butts of, and the money earned was used to buy designer clothes and a used car from Belgium to ship home to use in school. MacDonalds provided enough income to bump their social standing on a university campus. I

Now that was then. Ticket money was cheap. Macdonald can't fund such endeavours. And the era, and its economic season allowed such strategic planning and budget decisions. Now the season is different, and most in Nigerian university use other methods to earn extra income.Some are abandoning schools and opening record labels to get through school.

Coming down to how it affects this community, I think what we the old timers are experiencing is a changing world, where they either adapt with the times , or die off in the creative destruction of human life and communities.

Macdonalds does that with its premium coffee that sort of pitches it in the market with Starbucks, and also positions it with new menus that reflect a healthier lifestyle, and the new obsession with health in the western world.

If some here sometimes get a sense of nostalgia , it is because it is what it is nostalgia.Times are changing and the world is expanding and global culture is evolving. This is underscored by the actions of the racists that want to defend the white race from gene pollution, and the lack of understanding amongst native Americans of the dating preferences in Europe.

My argument is if you are arguing for old times, it won't come back, it is gone. It is either you have grown old and you might just be just be waiting for retirement and you are too rigid to adapt, or lack the skills to participate. In a society that has no market for intellectual concerns, most of the time demand (in this case internet traffic on topics) would regulate that.

I have gone through some of the concerns espoused, some are genuine, some of the yearnings also seem out of touch with modern reality. I have read the webmasters position on his/her constant upgrade to the site. And, I think he has a grasp of reality and has adequate statistics to support his decision making. Emotional longings are just want they are, they are a few concerns of a few.

Now on reputation, and clique formation, or clannishness . I think it is human, ad humans are political animals. If you can't get along with people, it just shows you lack social skills, and society can do without you. If somehow some have become popular along the line, or stay, it is the feedback in the human enterprise that rewards what community desires.

Seasons change my friends, people have to learn to adapt just like they do during seasonal changes. Maybe what seems more realistic is for the webmaster to let one know the trend statistics of the site since inception. If I observe a while longer, I think I might have suggestions on how he can pitch his market.

Please enjoy those bouts of nostalgia when they come, and also realise that those times, and those folks, most are gone forever, You can live with the memories, and also allow the world and its communities to evolve. The only certain in life is death and taxes. But seasons change, they come to an end, and a new seasons are born, and the institutions should nurture change, not obstruct it.


Naija4real approves this message. :D
 
Inner Beauty said:
You should go into the Steve Nash thread and drop your 2 cents in....:)
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I'll pass, for now at least. I deal too much in the real world. I'm not much into pseudo -intellectual logic like some people who get into discussions are and tend to loss my patience & cool very quickly sometimes in those situations with those types of people. :cool:
 
i share this view.

im happy to receive a human being talking so.
but it is this the reality?
look at the war in libya.africa is known as a poor continent and the poor is ...bombed! everything which was already small is destroyed. ah! if they were informed about your message:peace!
 
Eye of Ra said:
Just my two cents here but, there in lies the problem and the root to some of negative tension and infighting, Tam : We are not all in the same boat here when it comes to the issues of WW/BM relationships. The current majority of people here, all in all my participate and support WW/BM relationships, but do not have a strong invested interest overall in WW/BM relationships such as the minority of people like you or I because we deal with the ups and downs of WW/BM as part of our everyday lives and they more or less don't. The current negative vibe that seems to be hanging over the forum along with some of the normal personality clashes that have been going on here over the last couple of months are indirectly because of this fact. There can’t be nor will there probably ever be any sort of united front on this forum because everyone here is not on the same page when it comes to how we view and participate in WW/BM relationships.
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What do you mean by strong invested interest?
 
orejon4 said:
I don't mind the presence of people with different opinions about things, as long as they're here to be supportive of WWBM. Full stop. Beyond that, we can go back and forth, provided it's respectful. It is hard, however, to see why you would want to participate here if you're not in a WWBM relationship or at least want to be in one. I just had an interminable debate with a guy (I think) who objected to Mariah Carey being called 'black' because she wasn't solely black. I have had these kinds of arguments applied to my son because my ex and I were a WWBM Spanish/PR/African-American couple and it touched a raw nerve and I just got into it. After a few condescending comments I began to wonder why I would even continue, but I was pretty heated by that point.
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Great statement, but we still aren't immune from problems with other members. They could fit one of the two requirements and a lot of members here could still have problems with that particular poster. The reasons for why that is is beyond our control.
 
mikesandy said:
Great statement, but we still aren't immune from problems with other members. They could fit one of the two requirements and a lot of members here could still have problems with that particular poster. The reasons for why that is is beyond our control.
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the flip side of that is people who do not fit any requirement but landed here and somehow managed to fit in...win some friends...show a few pics...gain some rep...and then stayed...you have people here with very large rep totals that would not fit under your guidelines...there is no way to fact check some of the posters...some have never posted a picture...they may tell you what you want to hear just to fit in and that may not be their real life outside of the forum...

most of the women i know personally that date black men have looked at this site and have said no way...i have no idea why you even participate in that forum...i have dated black men since high school...i have also dated other races but my attraction is primarily to bm...

ideally this would be fun if we had actual couples that participated on the forum but usually we only get one of the two and not both...
 
mikesandy said:
Great statement, but we still aren't immune from problems with other members. They could fit one of the two requirements and a lot of members here could still have problems with that particular poster. The reasons for why that is is beyond our control.
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True. Totally beyond our control.
 
lipstick said:
the flip side of that is people who do not fit any requirement but landed here and somehow managed to fit in...win some friends...show a few pics...gain some rep...and then stayed...you have people here with very large rep totals that would not fit under your guidelines...there is no way to fact check some of the posters...some have never posted a picture...they may tell you what you want to hear just to fit in and that may not be their real life outside of the forum...

most of the women i know personally that date black men have looked at this site and have said no way...i have no idea why you even participate in that forum...i have dated black men since high school...i have also dated other races but my attraction is primarily to bm...

ideally this would be fun if we had actual couples that participated on the forum but usually we only get one of the two and not both...
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Seems like you're right. We need some kind of overhaul and perhaps a new system with the way the community works, beyond just the forum.

Some of the posters that have posted (the spammers and trolls) have been removed in an attempt to keep the community a decent, prosperous place. However, I can already think of several active people that can be deemed as being "problematic", such as Ymra, Andre, and goodlove (although we can keep him here for the humor), there are a few more, but a more serious issue is when people like this are still on the forum.

http://whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showpost.php?p=477455&postcount=373

She has proven nothing about herself, yet insists that she's a WW. I know her blood pressure has been increasing recently from being on here and I think it's best if I try not to stoop down to her level.
 
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MrFantastic said:
What do you mean by strong invested interest?
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Just my observation but it seems that some people are down with the idea of getting some white pussy or black dick, but don't really care about the overall building of strong and positive black male and white female relationships and maintaining them if they do become involved in one. It's just "whatever". Since I'm married to a white woman and have children with this woman I have an interest in putting forth and maintaining a strong positive image of a BM/WW couple/parents. I've been fortunate for the most part to know other BM/WW couples who have provided support and strength against most of the negative shit that comes from our relationships. I've also seen BM/WW couples who didn't have others to help support or show them what a positive thing the type of relationship they had could be and fell apart because they couldn't deal with all the negative shit that was thrown at them by ignorant people. Simply put I'm for putting forth the best and positive face on BM/WW relationships and for supporting any other like couples who may not have anyone they can turn to for inspiration in helping them maintain a strong and positive relationship. I can't speak for Tam or IB or others here who are exclusively interested in WW/BM relationships, but I'm pretty sure they have similar aspirations and outlooks when it comes to black male/ white female relationships, whether it be their own or others.
 
orejon4 said:
My ex is from Spain and I'm African-American and Puerto Rican. We saw no problem but there were always racial absolutists (on both sides) trying to force the issue, from people calling my son 'white' for being pale and having wavy hair (as a child, which he isn't anymore) like this cat, to others trying to exclude him because he's half-black, which means, in the US...black. It got to the point where my ex would be telling people about the Moors in Spain to get them out of her face. Ridiculous to have a white woman having to give a history lesson to prove that she's got .000001% black blood somewhere along the way to not have to defend our wwbm relationship & marriage. That's why we packed it in and moved to Florida, where a wwbm relationship for us and being black and Spanish-speaking for my son is not some sort of contradiction.
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This is the kind of thing I was talking about in my response to Mr. F's question. You and your family shouldn't have to explain or be made to feel uncomfortable about any aspects of your relationship by anyone outside of it. Having someone that is or has been in your situation to support and have you back against that type of bullshit would have been a big help. How are thing for you and your family now after you've moved? Any people that can relate and help you feel less stress around?
 
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FG said:
I miss me, can I have me back?
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i miss you tooooo...!!! i'm feeling neglected, unwanted & unloved what with all your 'i'm too busy & important' rubbish lately...!!! :smt088

whikle said:
I think it's funny how people talk about the job moderators do without having any actual idea what moderators do and which mods are most active etc... :rolleyes:
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don't we all sit round in a mod circle drinking coffee and gossiping...???

Eye of Ra said:
You do know I put "sometimes" because I didn't want you getting a big head. :cool:
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you offering your big head...???
 
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