The Negative Thread

[TreePixie]

I never tried to tell YOU what YOU like I just talk about what I see in general and what I see on dating websites and in clubs and on college campuses and what I hear women at work talk about and what I see in media. I quite possibly could be a regional thing but then I see European studies done on the subject. It could also be that I am in my prime and only notice things relating to women in their prime this could be something that changes for people once they are beyond child rearing or already had children but my dating pool of women(20s to very early 30s) seem to be attracted to the same things. Maybe with slight variations but all in all a females instincts, as I've seen in studies, is to find a mate who can help produce the healthiest offspring and then later help raise that offspring and protect that offspring.
This may not be true of you FG, Bookie, or some of the other women on this board but most of you are beyond your prime so why would it be a concern of yours. Once you've passed that part of your life I would imagine happiness would be all that matters but at my age my instincts and the instincts of many of my peers is to find someone to procreate with and raise the survival of your genes. Would you disagree?

I've always been this way, DK. I made more than my ex husband when we started dating. My last serious BF made slightly more than I did, but he had child care payments to make, so more often than not if we wanted to do something pricey, I paid. Normally we split costs on things like dinner out, unless it was a birthday or something like that.

But it sees my experiences are invalid because my experience is just that, experience. And your's being highly driven by your resentment in dealing with low class (not speaking economic class here) women who are weak-willed, weak physically and in search of a rich wallet with big biceps is clearly much more accurate, and the women here are all either fibbing, or delusional about their own lives. Regardless of what evo psych studies you've read (apparently without understanding how the methodolog used to find "conclusions" they went into the study assuming were true somehow totally invalidate how we have lived our lives.

As I said before, I can, and always could, make my own money. I can't make my own dick.

 

[The Dark King]

I've always been this way, DK. I made more than my ex husband when we started dating. My last serious BF made slightly more than I did, but he had child care payments to make, so more often than not if we wanted to do something pricey, I paid. Normally we split costs on things like dinner out, unless it was a birthday or something like that.

But it sees my experiences are invalid because my experience is just that, experience. And your's being highly driven by your resentment in dealing with low class (not speaking economic class here) women who are weak-willed, weak physically and in search of a rich wallet with big biceps is clearly much more accurate, and the women here are all either fibbing, or delusional about their own lives. Regardless of what evo psych studies you've read (apparently without understanding how the methodolog used to find "conclusions" they went into the study assuming were true somehow totally invalidate how we have lived our lives.

As I said before, I can, and always could, make my own money. I can't make my own dick.

I never said your experience were invalid but aren't representative of the norm. I don't think them wanting to survive is weak willed. They're just optimizing their chances. You should read some publications on marriage and family. The biggest trend amongst those of my generation are women who do get an education and who do work but want to stay home and raise their kids. Who do you think is going to pay for that? They have to find a man who earns at least enough for two people.

I took a marriage and the family course in undergrad and one thing that always stuck out to me was the human market place test. We socially put more value on certain traits. Like more often than not women want a taller man. Men of average height or taller have better "luck" with women than men who are shorter. Men who have strong jaw lines do better than men who don't. Women with long hair do better than women with short hair. These aren't absolutes but it holds generally true just as certain professions are more attractive to most women based on the lives they want to live. I get that not everyone lives that way but it doesn't mean that many wouldn't if they could.

 

[Archman]

You should delineate evolutionary biology and genetics, both of which are demonstrably true, from the background assumptions of evolutionary psychology. In addition I would be careful about the wholesale dismissal of any approach to human psychology, as one may lose sight of truths in the midst of questionable methodologies and conclusions.

That said, one need not even reference the human experience to witness the importance of fitness in other species. One of the more prominent examples being the tail of the peacock, an existential liability as it prevents flight from predators but a vital sexual characteristic. The young and supple body of a female between 18 and 25 rarely plays any differently in the male heterosexual mind.



Not necessarily "Rolexes and big wallets" (straw man), but definitely resources that ensure shelter and steady meals.

Son,
You might have missed your calling and subsequently your entitlement for nicer things in life....in any case, I can have a publisher ready should you change your mind.......the eloquence is unsurpassed......the message deep....

 

[Persephone]

I never said your experience were invalid but aren't representative of the norm.

There are women from varying economic and age levels, and a multitude of locations, all reporting similar responses. Often.

The only two things in common with the sample are race, and a racial sexual preference.

If we ignore the racial commonalities the rest of the factors are pretty random, except the basic theme of responses.

Obviously, an extensive survey representative of other racial demographics would paint a broader picture, and more respondents would also be optimal, but logic would indicate one would be better to stop focusing on the forest so one would not slam into trees all the time.

People don't generally like being pushed into negative boxes all the time, irregardless of it supposedly being the "majority". Especially when the immediate majority are of another school of thought.

I'm pretty sure if I were to walk into a room full of educated, intellectual black men and started talking about how the majority of black men in my social sphere were just criminals and deadbeats, and while it may not be their own personal experiences it's all I've ever seen, and there are many surveys out there supporting that the majority of black men are indeed acting in such reprehensible ways that they might not like it.

ESPECIALLY if I hang around them all the time and keep talking about it. And throw in some condescending "pet" terms and sometimes just simply start insulting them because they disagree with what I've seen.

...just sayin'

 

[FG]

Damn. I must be reading that shit wrong. The women pretend that "their" world view ist the majority??? No. That would be you homeboy. That's why you are always having "miscommunications" getting your point across. Because you are always trying to force everyone to accept the world from your point of reality. Which is why you love to "debate" the same dumb ass topics that have been discussed over & over & over & over & over again. SMDH

Pretty much, women here are simply trying to make him see that his view is not the encompassing truth and give him other views that exists and other experiences... and he takes it as we think our view is the encompassing truth. We are not, we never have thought that - and I am glad you see that.

Lovely Drae is guilty of what he is accusing us of. We are merely trying to give him bits and pieces of other peoples reality and trying to make him realize that his view is not the encompassing truth. I think if he would be open to really listening, he would benefit from that by opening his heart to other possibilities as the world is not as grim and black and white as he sees it.

 

[FG]

FG I wasn't talking about your desirability prime I'm not blind woman. I'm talking about prime age to give birth and raise a family.
Well I guess in bigger city areas like LA or NY romance comes with a lot more conditions and is a lot more expensive not to mention I'll admit that the east coast is pretty snobby. So its hard to imagine something else I guess. But like i said before I've seen a lot of studies that mirror my thinking. Like I said I posted a well studied documentary that got written off because some didn't agree but push away the concept because they themselves don't think that way.
I can also admit that living in this part of the country is expensive and you have to earn a pretty good living just to have a place to live so maybe it starts from there. Btw feel free to come to NY anytime you want to chill. That would be epic

You realize that for any study you can find that back up your sad view, there is an equal amount of studies that negate that. You only choose to listen to the ones that back you up. Your view is not the norm actually. Your at the end of one spectrum. That is fine, but in the end, it only limits yourself. I think the rest of us women are simply trying to rescue you, typical female behavior. LOL. But, you my stubborn friend is not having it, you wanna stay in your bitter world.
I honestly wish I could talk to you outside this forum because I think this passed my prime woman could be of help. I know, silly me

 

[The Dark King]

There are women from varying economic and age levels, and a multitude of locations, all reporting similar responses. Often.

The only two things in common with the sample are race, and a racial sexual preference.

If we ignore the racial commonalities the rest of the factors are pretty random, except the basic theme of responses.

Obviously, an extensive survey representative of other racial demographics would paint a broader picture, and more respondents would also be optimal, but logic would indicate one would be better to stop focusing on the forest so one would not slam into trees all the time.

People don't generally like being pushed into negative boxes all the time, irregardless of it supposedly being the "majority". Especially when the immediate majority are of another school of thought.

I'm pretty sure if I were to walk into a room full of educated, intellectual black men and started talking about how the majority of black men in my social sphere were just criminals and deadbeats, and while it may not be their own personal experiences it's all I've ever seen, and there are many surveys out there supporting that the majority of black men are indeed acting in such reprehensible ways that they might not like it.

ESPECIALLY if I hang around them all the time and keep talking about it. And throw in some condescending "pet" terms and sometimes just simply start insulting them because they disagree with what I've seen.

...just sayin'

I didn't insult anyone and because YOU don't like the term sweetheart doesn't mean its not endearing to others. I get along with Trix. And your example of coloring black men with the criminal brush isn't the same thing as pointing out something that our culture seems to push in every way since we were children. What people end up with and what they are attracted are two different things sometimes. And don't think its a negative thing to admit a lot of women are attracted to success and power. A lot of women are attracted to the prospect of security and knowing their financials needs can be met by the person they are attracted to physically and emotionally.
Damn you started this post out a little hostile so I'm sure we won't have any meaningful dialogue so thanks for your participation.

 

[The Dark King]

You realize that for any study you can find that back up your sad view, there is an equal amount of studies that negate that. You only choose to listen to the ones that back you up. Your view is not the norm actually. Your at the end of one spectrum. That is fine, but in the end, it only limits yourself. I think the rest of us women are simply trying to rescue you, typical female behavior. LOL. But, you my stubborn friend is not having it, you wanna stay in your bitter world.
I honestly wish I could talk to you outside this forum because I think this passed my prime woman could be of help. I know, silly me

I've yet to see the opposing study that shows that women of this era could care less about profession. The numbers haven't shown that but I am open to reading any study like that if you know of any my friend. I don't think I'm at particular end of the spectrum I'm just more vocal than most. Like I said I am willing to admit it may be my area but I can't leave it for now so this is my reality. Lifestyle is tremendously important in NY and the girls that attract me physically and mentally are not gonna be down with 20 dollar dinners and netflix weekends every single weekend. It is what it is.

 

[FG]

I've yet to see the opposing study that shows that women of this era could care less about profession. The numbers haven't shown that but I am open to reading any study like that if you know of any my friend. I don't think I'm at particular end of the spectrum I'm just more vocal than most. Like I said I am willing to admit it may be my area but I can't leave it for now so this is my reality. Lifestyle is tremendously important in NY and the girls that attract me physically and mentally are not gonna be down with 20 dollar dinners and netflix weekends every single weekend. It is what it is.

I think looking at the average marriage should tell you plenty. They are in general just plain simple working people w meager income. Pleas take a look at statistics of marriage on what they earn individually in that marriage, It does not support your view.
Women, i general are more romantic and are looking for that pretty love story, not money.
Women are marrying men of no particular income to talk of. That is the general truth.

Yes, there is a difference between some big cities and the rest of the US.

However, talking about passed the prime. That goes both ways.. if you are dating women 10 years your junior or more, you betcha you are going to limit your dating pool.
They are in general not interested in a 10+ year older man...looking at the 10 year older man as passed their prime and the younger you go, the higher is your likelihood that you run in to females that will give you a go, thinking you are passed you prime but will accept it IF you have other means to make up for it, like money and a great career.
That's on "you", "you" just made that your reality dating pool and is in no way, shape or form reflective of the general woman.

Its sorta an equal opportunity deal - the man goes for a younger woman because of her looks, ignoring the rest.. the woman ignores that the man is not as sexy as a man 10 years younger would be, but accept it if you have stacks to make up for it. The way I see that is both get what they want, the man is not better than the woman in those cases, they are both looking for superficial stuff.

People that do want to settle down (NOT settle) actually find people closer to their age, that's where they realize they have more in common and marriage stats prove that. Once men are done w the superficial stuff, most men actually marry within their age group no matter what age you are talking about.
If you just want to fuck, and do that w someone significantly younger than you, be prepared to deal with the superficial bunch that will give your old ass a go IF you have money.
I think its hilarious when men going for way younger women, cry foul on these women when they are doing they are doing the exact same thing. Choosing the superficial.

 

[The Dark King]

I think looking at the average marriage should tell you plenty. They are in general just plain simple working people w meager income. Pleas take a look at statistics of marriage on what they earn individually in that marriage, It does not support your view.
Women, i general are more romantic and are looking for that pretty love story, not money.
Women are marrying men of no particular income to talk of. That is the general truth.

Yes, there is a difference between some big cities and the rest of the US.

However, talking about passed the prime. That goes both ways.. if you are dating women 10 years your junior or more, you betcha you are going to limit your dating pool.
They are in general not interested in a 10+ year older man...looking at the 10 year older man as passed their prime and the younger you go, the higher is your likelihood that you run in to females that will give you a go, thinking you are passed you prime but will accept it IF you have other means to make up for it, like money and a great career.
That's on "you", "you" just made that your reality dating pool and is in no way, shape or form reflective of the general woman.

Its sorta an equal opportunity deal - the man goes for a younger woman because of her looks, ignoring the rest.. the woman ignores that the man is not as sexy as a man 10 years younger would be, but accept it if you have stacks to make up for it. The way I see that is both get what they want, the man is not better than the woman in those cases, they are both looking for superficial stuff.
People that do want to settle down (NOT settle) actually find people closer to their age, that's where they realize they have more in common and marriage stats prove that. Once men are done w the superficial stuff, most men actually marry within their age group no matter what age you are talking about.
If you just want to fuck, and do that w someone significantly younger than you, be prepared to deal with the superficial bunch that will give your old ass a go IF you have money.
I think its hilarious when men going for way younger women, cry foul on these women when they are doing they are doing the exact same thing. Choosing the superficial.

FG how old do you think I am lol. Me dating a girl 5 or 6 years younger than me isn't too far fetched is it? My parents are six years apart

 

[FG]

FG how old do you think I am lol. Me dating a girl 5 or 6 years younger than me isn't too far fetched is it? My parents are six years apart

That is why I say you as in "you".... not referring to you in particular.
However, dating women 5-6 years younger at your age is a huger gap than when you get older. Women in their early 20s may see you as old.

 

[The Dark King]

Unfortunately women closer to my age are usually so marriage and baby conscious they just aren't fun. Some may be but the vast majority here that clock ticking.

That is why I say you as in "you".... not referring to you in particular.
However, dating women 5-6 years younger at your age is a huger gap than when you get older. Women in their early 20s may see you as old.

 

[LA]

However, dating women 5-6 years younger at your age of [30] is a huger gap than when you get older. Women in their early 20s may see you as old.

Ain't that some shit.

Looks like I'll have to wait until my mid thirties to start dating younger women.

 

[FG]

Unfortunately women closer to my age are usually so marriage and baby conscious they just aren't fun. Some may be but the vast majority here that clock ticking.

In this day and age?? Nah.... I say you are missing out on a lot.

 

[FG]

Ain't that some shit.

Looks like I'll have to wait until my mid thirties to start dating younger women.

LOL Doesn't change then unless you are dating women in their early 30s/late 20s. If you want women in their early 20 when you are mid thirties, you back in the "your old, but I date you if you have money" and get the superficial lot. Why is dating your own age range such a problem? Plenty of hot women to choose from in that category (mid 30s).

Now, I'm not the one saying that early 20s women in generally are not hotter than women in their mid 30s, of course in general they are. That is a fact, but there are still at that age, plenty to choose from. Plenty. You will never lack my dear.
and once a hot body is not the end all be all, but someone compatible is more important, you look for more than just looks and that may just be someone - gasp - your own age!! Shudder the thought. LOL

 

[LA]

LOL Doesn't change then unless you are dating women in their early 30s/late 20s. If you want women in their early 20 when you are mid thirties, you back in the "your old, but I date you if you have money" and get the superficial lot. Why is dating your own age range such a problem? Plenty of hot women to choose from in that category (mid 30s).

I was referring to dating women in their late twenties when I'm in my early-mid thirties.

As in, the 5-6 year age gap DK was referring to.


And dating women my age is always an option.... maybe.





j/k. :grin:

 

[FG]

I was referring to dating women in their late twenties when I'm in my early-mid thirties.

As in, the 5-6 year age gap DK was referring to.


And dating women my age is always an option. Maybe.





j/k. :grin:

My bad. LOL How about above your age,,, say JC>>

 

[LA]

and once a hot body is not the end all be all, but someone compatible is more important, you look for more than just looks

Absolutely.

 

[LA]

My bad. LOL How about above your age,,, say JC>>

:smt111 I like how you think.

 

[FG]

:smt111 I like how you think.