Going White

[Apollonia]

complained when actor Robert DeNiro dated, married and had children with black women. Actor Sean Penn, after his divorce from Madonna, dated a black woman(it was brief but it caused quite a stir). Again, nobody complained. My cousin on my father's side of the family is married to a white man. I'm not complaining and so far, none of my relatives are complaining, either.

But, if a BM(celebrity or not) was seen with a WW, you can bet there will be stares and whispered comments. And if they are bold enough, some man or woman would voice their opinion because they were shocked by what they saw and it challenged their world view. I remember I had drove a woman her daughter and her boyfriend to a hospital in another town. When the young mother was called in to see the doctor, she and her boyfriend went in, leaving me to look after her daughter. I did everything I could to keep her entertain(like using my hat as a toy, or my car keys). Everyone in the waiting room(all white) watched me and my handling of the little girl's care. After a while, a man came over and sat down with us and said hello. I explained that I was looking after the little girl for her mother. The man said that he was curious and that he understood that me and the little girl got along fine. But he used "we" in that sentence. I wasn't sure if he meant him and his wife or the collective view of the other people in the waiting room. It felt very awkward. But, the little girl and I waited until her mother and boyfriend were finished with the doctor. No problems that day, thank God.

I don't like using celebs for examples but it is incorrect to state that WM who are celebs do not face a backlash for dating/LTR/marriage to BW.

Michael Fassbender received backlash from some white female fans when he stated in a few interview that he prefers darker skinned women. His fans created a tumblr page called "Gorilla Hunter" when he was dating black actress Nicole Beharie and have made derogatory remarks regarding his preference for BW.

Chris Noth (Big from Sex in the City) has stated in interviews that he received hate mail from some fans when he married and had a child with his wife (black/Asian). Tamera Mowry (one of the twins of Sister, Sister) has revealed in a recent interview how she has received backlash (called white man's whore among other things) for being married to a WM.

WM/BW interracial couples have also been subjected to threats, physical attacks and even murder. The murder of the Marine sergeant and the rape/murder of his wife was determined to be racially motivated. WM/BW couple and their friend was physically assaulted in Long Island City. A WM was attacked and severely beaten in Savannah, GA for dating a black girl.

 

[Apollonia]

What an idiot. I don't know what makes some guys think that if a woman turns you down, the proper response is to get threatening and loud. Like you were going to say: "oh, thanks for insulting and berating me...now, how about that date?" Lol. Makes me want to ask "How's that working for you?" Pisses me off. Wish you had been sitting there on the white guy's lap, lol. That's what he needed to see. What a tool.

It was an extremely terrifying experience and I would have hated to have provoked any further rage on top of what was already happening. It happened in a classroom, an assistant professor and another student had to literally pull him off of me. And I never told the guy that I was dating at the time (or my parents and brother) what happened.

He went on to date another girl in my dorm and he sexually assaulted her (date rape). She was too scared to call the campus security or go to the police. It was sad. He was expelled from school the following year (although I don't know the real reason why) but considering that he was a star athlete it must have been a significant reason.

 

[orejon4]

I don't like using celebs for examples but it is incorrect to state that WM who are celebs do not face a backlash for dating/LTR/marriage to BW.

Michael Fassbender received backlash from some white female fans when he stated in a few interview that he prefers darker skinned women. His fans created a tumblr page called "Gorilla Hunter" when he was dating black actress Nicole Beharie and have made derogatory remarks regarding his preference for BW.

Chris Noth (Big from Sex in the City) has stated in interviews that he received hate mail from some fans when he married and had a child with his wife (black/Asian). Tamera Mowry (one of the twins of Sister, Sister) has revealed in a recent interview how she has received backlash (called white man's whore among other things) for being married to a WM.

WM/BW interracial couples have also been subjected to threats, physical attacks and even murder. The murder of the Marine sergeant and the rape/murder of his wife was determined to be racially motivated. WM/BW couple and their friend was physically assaulted in Long Island City. A WM was attacked and severely beaten in Savannah, GA for dating a black girl.

I think that the posters emphasizing the differential treatment of wm/bw vs. bm/ww couples are not trying to say that wm/bw couples are universally accepted and loved, but that racism and sexism combine to produce a sexual environment in which, of all the people in society, white men enjoy the highest degree of sexual prerogative and, by sitting atop the apex of sociopolitical power, have few others in society as peers capable of criticizing their choices in a meaningful way that causes them any real repercussions that limit their personal safety and economic power. There are aberrations, but I think that is generally true. The dominant actor in society is generally FREER, (emphasis added) than others - not necessarily 'free' in absolute - to determine for himself what he chooses to do.

Using celebrities might not be a good yardstick to measure how average people would be / are treated, but these are some interesting examples. The first thing I would say is if these idiots did that to these stars, then they definitely weren't 'fans'. That being said, I don't doubt that there is a sick segment of society out there capable of all of those horrible things. It makes me sick just to hear about it.

It was an extremely terrifying experience and I would have hated to have provoked any further rage on top of what was already happening. It happened in a classroom, an assistant professor and another student had to literally pull him off of me. And I never told the guy that I was dating at the time (or my parents and brother) what happened.

He went on to date another girl in my dorm and he sexually assaulted her (date rape). She was too scared to call the campus security or go to the police. It was sad. He was expelled from school the following year (although I don't know the real reason why) but considering that he was a star athlete it must have been a significant reason.

Sorry you had to go through this.

 

[Apollonia]

I think that the posters emphasizing the differential treatment of wm/bw vs. bm/ww couples are not trying to say that wm/bw couples are universally accepted and loved, but that racism and sexism combine to produce a sexual environment in which, of all the people in society, white men enjoy the highest degree of sexual prerogative and, by sitting atop the apex of sociopolitical power, have few others in society as peers capable of criticizing their choices in a meaningful way that causes them any real repercussions that limit their personal safety and economic power. There are aberrations, but I think that is generally true. The dominant actor in society is generally FREER, (emphasis added) than others - not necessarily 'free' in absolute - to determine for himself what he chooses to do.

Using celebrities might not be a good yardstick to measure how average people would be / are treated, but these are some interesting examples. The first thing I would say is if these idiots did that to these stars, then they definitely weren't 'fans'. That being said, I don't doubt that there is a sick segment of society out there capable of all of those horrible things. It makes me sick just to hear about it.

Very true. The depth of the issues facing BM/WW couples was not on my radar until I started reading some of the posts on this site. I am a firm believer that ALL combinations of IR couples should be a united front to overcome the societal challenges.

Sorry you had to go through this.

Thank you

 

[The Dark King]

Very true. The depth of the issues facing BM/WW couples was not on my radar until I started reading some of the posts on this site. I am a firm believer that ALL combinations of IR couples should be a united front to overcome the societal challenges.





Thank you

That's a good joke tell another. There are little to no societal challenges for wm/bw relationships the fake koombiyah we're in it together shit is really patronizing.

 

[FG]

That's a good joke tell another. There are little to no societal challenges for wm/bw relationships the fake koombiyah we're in it together shit is really patronizing.

I disagree. Not patronizing. I think that's the way it should be. It won't, but it should.

 

[The Dark King]

I disagree. Not patronizing. I think that's the way it should be. It won't, but it should.

Its patronizing because we won't ever be that way and most of all I didn't join white women black men to constantly hear of the anecdotal plight of wm/bw couples. We don't face the same challenges nor are we in it together. It would be nice if were but we're not. If the experiences of dating interacially weren't so different depending on race then so many of us wouldn't be drawn to this site

 

[RicardoCooper]

Its patronizing because we won't ever be that way and most of all I didn't join white women black men to constantly hear of the anecdotal plight of wm/bw couples. We don't face the same challenges nor are we in it together. It would be nice if were but we're not. If the experiences of dating interacially weren't so different depending on race then so many of us wouldn't be drawn to this site

*Ding* we have a winner

 

[Bug]

Its patronizing because we won't ever be that way and most of all I didn't join white women black men to constantly hear of the anecdotal plight of wm/bw couples. We don't face the same challenges nor are we in it together. It would be nice if were but we're not. If the experiences of dating interacially weren't so different depending on race then so many of us wouldn't be drawn to this site

Same here.

I truly do not understand the reasoning why Bw enter the forum in the first place (We've had a few) I wouldn't go over to BW- WM .com and make a debut over there.

Not that this particular woman bothers me, but the clue is in the sites name as to why I'm confused she's here.

 

[RicardoCooper]

Same here.

I truly do not understand the reasoning why Bw enter the forum in the first place (We've had a few) I wouldn't go over to BW- WM .com and make a debut over there.

Not that this particular woman bothers me, but the clue is in the sites name as to why I'm confused she's here.

Because American BW's egos cannot abide a space where they are not part of the conversation, or more to the point cannot monitor or control BM's conversation, even as they publically praise the joys of WM and sometimes actively denigrate BM on their own sites (the hater site I like to whine about, beyond black and white, etc.) and in media, and would not welcome the presence BM or WW on those sites

 

[FG]

Its patronizing because we won't ever be that way and most of all I didn't join white women black men to constantly hear of the anecdotal plight of wm/bw couples. We don't face the same challenges nor are we in it together. It would be nice if were but we're not. If the experiences of dating interacially weren't so different depending on race then so many of us wouldn't be drawn to this site

I simply don't understand how that is patronizing. It makes no sense at all. It not patronizing in any way shape, or form. I have no clue why you think it's patronizing. I think that is more on you than her.
You and I have discussed stuff since 09 and I mean this with no judgement. You like to tell people to ignore threads and posters they don't like, its your mantra. Why don't you ignore appolonia then?


Yes, this is wwbm, but she has had nothing to add but thoughtful posts and we have had a gazillion people with an ulterior motive on here being accepted and they show their colors. Averynd once we have someone on here that so far seems real, you all are ready to rake her over the coals.
I find it distasteful and hypocritical.
As long as she is not a troll and don't cross the limit, let her be. If you don't like it, ignore her. Please don't let this place be another shallow place where we judge. So far, she has had a lot of thoughtfulminput and I find it small minded that people have an issue with her here as she is dating IR and could add to the diicussion.


If you don't like her, ignore her, and let the rest of us discuss issues. We have had 100% bad experience in this but let's give her a chance.

If your all about ww/bm with no flexibility ( i.e., hypocritical ) like the new guy., and some otherd.... Just ignore her and let the rest of us communicate if we want to. If we are wrong, time will tell.

 

[The Dark King]

I simply don't understand how that is patronizing. It makes no sense at all. It not patronizing in any way shape, or form. I have no clue why you think it's patronizing. I think that is more on you than her.
You and I have discussed stuff since 09 and I mean this with no judgement. You like to tell people to ignore threads and posters they don't like, its your mantra. Why don't you ignore appolonia then?


Yes, this is wwbm, but she has had nothing to add but thoughtful posts and we have had a gazillion people with an ulterior motive on here being accepted and they show their colors. Averynd once we have someone on here that so far seems real, you all are ready to rake her over the coals.
I find it distasteful and hypocritical.
As long as she is not a troll and don't cross the limit, let her be. If you don't like it, ignore her. Please don't let this place be another shallow place where we judge. So far, she has had a lot of thoughtfulminput and I find it small minded that people have an issue with her here as she is dating IR and could add to the diicussion.


If you don't like her, ignore her, and let the rest of us discuss issues. We have had 100% bad experience in this but let's give her a chance.

If your all about ww/bm with no flexibility ( i.e., hypocritical ) like the new guy., and some otherd.... Just ignore her and let the rest of us communicate if we want to. If we are wrong, time will tell.

You just said a whole bunch of nothing. I didn't tell her to leave or insult I don't agree with her. Is that still allowed or are you only happy when all disingenuously kiss each other's asses. She can have whatever opinion she wants but like in any other thread if someone doesn't agree we debate. You added absolutely nothing to this conversation. Thanks for another useless rant.

 

[goodlove]

I simply don't understand how that is patronizing. It makes no sense at all. It not patronizing in any way shape, or form. I have no clue why you think it's patronizing. I think that is more on you than her.
You and I have discussed stuff since 09 and I mean this with no judgement. You like to tell people to ignore threads and posters they don't like, its your mantra. Why don't you ignore appolonia then?


Yes, this is wwbm, but she has had nothing to add but thoughtful posts and we have had a gazillion people with an ulterior motive on here being accepted and they show their colors. Averynd once we have someone on here that so far seems real, you all are ready to rake her over the coals.
I find it distasteful and hypocritical.
As long as she is not a troll and don't cross the limit, let her be. If you don't like it, ignore her. Please don't let this place be another shallow place where we judge. So far, she has had a lot of thoughtfulminput and I find it small minded that people have an issue with her here as she is dating IR and could add to the diicussion.


If you don't like her, ignore her, and let the rest of us discuss issues. We have had 100% bad experience in this but let's give her a chance.

If your all about ww/bm with no flexibility ( i.e., hypocritical ) like the new guy., and some otherd.... Just ignore her and let the rest of us communicate if we want to. If we are wrong, time will tell.

yeah, not everyone we disagree w/ or like is a troll.

 

[goodlove]

You just said a whole bunch of nothing. I didn't tell her to leave or insult I don't agree with her. Is that still allowed or are you only happy when all disingenuously kiss each other's asses. She can have whatever opinion she wants but like in any other thread if someone doesn't agree we debate. You added absolutely nothing to this conversation. Thanks for another useless rant.

oh my....getting thick in this mofo. betta get my popcorn.....i see a cage match coming

 

[The Dark King]

yeah, not everyone we disagree w/ or like is a troll.

thank you sir

 

[goodlove]

thank you sir

hope u wearong a cup.... FG gonna kick u in the nuts

 

[The Dark King]

hope u wearong a cup.... FG gonna kick u in the nuts

Her tiger claw kung fu is no match for my iron fist

 

[goodlove]

I simply don't understand how that is patronizing. It makes no sense at all. It not patronizing in any way shape, or form. I have no clue why you think it's patronizing. I think that is more on you than her.
You and I have discussed stuff since 09 and I mean this with no judgement. You like to tell people to ignore threads and posters they don't like, its your mantra. Why don't you ignore appolonia then?


Yes, this is wwbm, but she has had nothing to add but thoughtful posts and we have had a gazillion people with an ulterior motive on here being accepted and they show their colors. Averynd once we have someone on here that so far seems real, you all are ready to rake her over the coals.
I find it distasteful and hypocritical.
As long as she is not a troll and don't cross the limit, let her be. If you don't like it, ignore her. Please don't let this place be another shallow place where we judge. So far, she has had a lot of thoughtfulminput and I find it small minded that people have an issue with her here as she is dating IR and could add to the diicussion.


If you don't like her, ignore her, and let the rest of us discuss issues. We have had 100% bad experience in this but let's give her a chance.

If your all about ww/bm with no flexibility ( i.e., hypocritical ) like the new guy., and some otherd.... Just ignore her and let the rest of us communicate if we want to. If we are wrong, time will tell.

awwww shit. TDK talking wreckless....whatcha gonna do?

 

[Ches]

I simply don't understand how that is patronizing. It makes no sense at all. It not patronizing in any way shape, or form. I have no clue why you think it's patronizing. I think that is more on you than her.
You and I have discussed stuff since 09 and I mean this with no judgement. You like to tell people to ignore threads and posters they don't like, its your mantra. Why don't you ignore appolonia then?


Yes, this is wwbm, but she has had nothing to add but thoughtful posts and we have had a gazillion people with an ulterior motive on here being accepted and they show their colors. Averynd once we have someone on here that so far seems real, you all are ready to rake her over the coals.
I find it distasteful and hypocritical.
As long as she is not a troll and don't cross the limit, let her be. If you don't like it, ignore her. Please don't let this place be another shallow place where we judge. So far, she has had a lot of thoughtfulminput and I find it small minded that people have an issue with her here as she is dating IR and could add to the diicussion.


If you don't like her, ignore her, and let the rest of us discuss issues. We have had 100% bad experience in this but let's give her a chance.

If your all about ww/bm with no flexibility ( i.e., hypocritical ) like the new guy., and some otherd.... Just ignore her and let the rest of us communicate if we want to. If we are wrong, time will tell.

Great post, FG. I cant rep on my phone, but consider yourself repped.

 

[Ches]

Its patronizing because we won't ever be that way and most of all I didn't join white women black men to constantly hear of the anecdotal plight of wm/bw couples. We don't face the same challenges nor are we in it together. It would be nice if were but we're not. If the experiences of dating interacially weren't so different depending on race then so many of us wouldn't be drawn to this site

Exaggerate, much?