18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating That You Have To Deal With

The Dark King said:
Like how you think
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Yeah well it's kinda ironic cause I kinda got dumped this weekend. Wasn't bothered about losing the guy so much as how he handled it ... and also there was a little "put up or shut up" with respect to my earlier comment about "It's not easy, but I try not to indulge in that ego ... try to accept that he's just not that into me." haha. We weren't at all serious and certainly not in a committed relationship, but he was "all up in my world like hip hop" and then while I was home replying to this thread ("Not entitled to exclusivity, blah blah blah") he was out with a new girl. :smt024 . Too funny. When he didn't contact me for days I knew he had to have met someone, which hurt my confidence just a little, but what was harder to accept was that he was just going to leap off the Satchmo Shanghai Maglev train while I wasn't looking, never to be seen or heard from again. He finally texted me today saying he'd met someone and was too afraid (or something) to tell me. Again, while I liked him we weren't serious and I know it was for the best. Once I heard from him I was over it, it was the common decency to tell me what was up that mattered. So yeah, there are ugly truths about that "American construct" we call dating; you're a good journalist. You won't catch me again putting on airs like I'm immune from it. LOL
 
Satchmo said:
Yeah well it's kinda ironic cause I kinda got dumped this weekend. Wasn't bothered about losing the guy so much as how he handled it ... and also there was a little "put up or shut up" with respect to my earlier comment about "It's not easy, but I try not to indulge in that ego ... try to accept that he's just not that into me." haha. We weren't at all serious and certainly not in a committed relationship, but he was "all up in my world like hip hop" and then while I was home replying to this thread ("Not entitled to exclusivity, blah blah blah") he was out with a new girl. :smt024 . Too funny. When he didn't contact me for days I knew he had to have met someone, which hurt my confidence just a little, but what was harder to accept was that he was just going to leap off the Satchmo Shanghai Maglev train while I wasn't looking, never to be seen or heard from again. He finally texted me today saying he'd met someone and was too afraid (or something) to tell me. Again, while I liked him we weren't serious and I know it was for the best. Once I heard from him I was over it, it was the common decency to tell me what was up that mattered. So yeah, there are ugly truths about that "American construct" we call dating; you're a good journalist. You won't catch me again putting on airs like I'm immune from it. LOL
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Sorry about what happened. I am sure that you will bounce back.
 
Satchmo said:
Yeah well it's kinda ironic cause I kinda got dumped this weekend. Wasn't bothered about losing the guy so much as how he handled it ... and also there was a little "put up or shut up" with respect to my earlier comment about "It's not easy, but I try not to indulge in that ego ... try to accept that he's just not that into me." haha. We weren't at all serious and certainly not in a committed relationship, but he was "all up in my world like hip hop" and then while I was home replying to this thread ("Not entitled to exclusivity, blah blah blah") he was out with a new girl. :smt024 . Too funny. When he didn't contact me for days I knew he had to have met someone, which hurt my confidence just a little, but what was harder to accept was that he was just going to leap off the Satchmo Shanghai Maglev train while I wasn't looking, never to be seen or heard from again. He finally texted me today saying he'd met someone and was too afraid (or something) to tell me. Again, while I liked him we weren't serious and I know it was for the best. Once I heard from him I was over it, it was the common decency to tell me what was up that mattered. So yeah, there are ugly truths about that "American construct" we call dating; you're a good journalist. You won't catch me again putting on airs like I'm immune from it. LOL
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This would of never of happened if you didn't play our date "by ear" months ago.

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Satchmo said:
Yeah well it's kinda ironic cause I kinda got dumped this weekend. Wasn't bothered about losing the guy so much as how he handled it ... and also there was a little "put up or shut up" with respect to my earlier comment about "It's not easy, but I try not to indulge in that ego ... try to accept that he's just not that into me." haha. We weren't at all serious and certainly not in a committed relationship, but he was "all up in my world like hip hop" and then while I was home replying to this thread ("Not entitled to exclusivity, blah blah blah") he was out with a new girl. :smt024 . Too funny. When he didn't contact me for days I knew he had to have met someone, which hurt my confidence just a little, but what was harder to accept was that he was just going to leap off the Satchmo Shanghai Maglev train while I wasn't looking, never to be seen or heard from again. He finally texted me today saying he'd met someone and was too afraid (or something) to tell me. Again, while I liked him we weren't serious and I know it was for the best. Once I heard from him I was over it, it was the common decency to tell me what was up that mattered. So yeah, there are ugly truths about that "American construct" we call dating; you're a good journalist. You won't catch me again putting on airs like I'm immune from it. LOL
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It happens and letting go of ego is so difficult since its associated with nearly all parts of our lives. Dating is really tough, at times I wish I was in an arranged marriage lol
 
#17 with a bullet. For me, this is the one that makes me the most worried about dating what I want without fear. There are black women who, I really fear, will try to snatch me away from whomever or whatever I'm dating because they just don't care. I've experienced some inklings of this and can real inflections too well.

A lot of the others to me are par for the course, especially how committment issues are being pushed to the side. But for me, the lack of an over-arching man code REALLY pisses me off because the equal lack of a woman code means it's all up for grabs. And that's not safe for ANYONE.
 
TigerMonarchy said:
#17 with a bullet. For me, this is the one that makes me the most worried about dating what I want without fear. There are black women who, I really fear, will try to snatch me away from whomever or whatever I'm dating because they just don't care. I've experienced some inklings of this and can real inflections too well.

A lot of the others to me are par for the course, especially how committment issues are being pushed to the side. But for me, the lack of an over-arching man code REALLY pisses me off because the equal lack of a woman code means it's all up for grabs. And that's not safe for ANYONE.
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How can a woman "snatch you up" from your girlfriend? Are you the type who gives in to temptation that easily? Does the woman doing the accosting hold a gun to your head in order for you to comply? Some women might attempt that at their own peril(if the girlfriend finds out). But most will not.
 
Gorath said:
How can a woman "snatch you up" from your girlfriend? Are you the type who gives in to temptation that easily? Does the woman doing the accosting hold a gun to your head in order for you to comply? Some women might attempt that at their own peril(if the girlfriend finds out). But most will not.
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Poor choice of words, and I cringe as I read this. You're right to take me to task here.

I ment, I feel like black women would be more prone to make a pass when my girlfriend/friend/lover isn't looking just because of us being the same race and any entitlement baggage therin. I just feel like going forward, it's going to be much more vocal and open warfare between ladies in pursuit of ANY partner they might fancy just because things are lacking honor amongst thieves.
 
TigerMonarchy said:
Poor choice of words, and I cringe as I read this. You're right to take me to task here.

I ment, I feel like black women would be more prone to make a pass when my girlfriend/friend/lover isn't looking just because of us being the same race and any entitlement baggage therin. I just feel like going forward, it's going to be much more vocal and open warfare between ladies in pursuit of ANY partner they might fancy just because things are lacking honor amongst thieves.
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How would my post be a poor choice of words when that is what you are implying? One of the questions was if this hypothetical black woman saw you with your girlfriend and attempted to chat you up, would you go along? If being with your girlfriend in the presence of black women makes you uncomfortable, all you have to do if that happens is leave. I believe that you must do that in order to move forward. And don't worry about what someone says to you. Ignore them. You don't have to go out with a bang or fanfare. You don't need to be vocal. Be the better man and walk away. No one gets hurt.
 
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Gorath said:
How would my post be a poor choice of words when that is what you are implying? One of the questions was if this hypothetical black woman saw you with your girlfriend and attempted to chat you up, would you go along? If being with your girlfriend in the presence of black women makes you uncomfortable, all you have to do if that happens is leave. I believe that you must do that in order to move forward. And don't worry about what someone says to you. Ignore them. You don't have to go out with a bang or fanfare. You don't need to be vocal. Be the better man and walk away. No one gets hurt.
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No, I meant MY choice of words was poor. You were and are spot on in all your assessments.
 
Gorath said:
How would my post be a poor choice of words when that is what you are implying? One of the questions was if this hypothetical black woman saw you with your girlfriend and attempted to chat you up, would you go along? If being with your girlfriend in the presence of black women makes you uncomfortable, all you have to do if that happens is leave. I believe that you must do that in order to move forward. And don't worry about what someone says to you. Ignore them. You don't have to go out with a bang or fanfare. You don't need to be vocal. Be the better man and walk away. No one gets hurt.
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well stated....keep ur cool
 
TigerMonarchy said:
Poor choice of words, and I cringe as I read this. You're right to take me to task here.

I ment, I feel like black women would be more prone to make a pass when my girlfriend/friend/lover isn't looking just because of us being the same race and any entitlement baggage therin. I just feel like going forward, it's going to be much more vocal and open warfare between ladies in pursuit of ANY partner they might fancy just because things are lacking honor amongst thieves.
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So you perceive women fighting over you and you are anxious about it. Or women are engaging in "open warfare" over "any partner" they want because they lack honor and are thieves. Hilarious :smt043
 
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