Another cover "controversy":Essence Takes Heat For Reggie Bush Cover

xoxo said:
So Jill is saying that when Black women see us in public, their silent winces and composed recriminatory non-stares are not jealousy or a more base emotion, but these women are somehow conjuring up Jim Crow.

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Black women that “wince” are not thinking about Jim Crow. Most likely these women with this mentality were not even around at that time or have any real knowledge of that period. I haven't been in a relationship with a WW for a few years, but I surely get the daggers when I'm with my White female friends in public...so children don't have to be involved.



Jill is elevating the status of a Black man because he is with a White woman. She doesn't know if they are happily married, wealthy, poor or unhappy. She doesn't know if the White woman is a with a “together” Brother or not. He's only seemingly together because he is with a White Woman. A good man will take care of his family no matter the color of his wife. A good man who is smart will pick the best partner he can find. Many of these Black men that weren't good enough for certain Black women come to find out that they are more than good enough for the White women they are with now.



The bed wasn't empty when you were making those kids with that no good Brother. How about working out the issues with him instead of getting in to whatever issues BM and WW might have?



Yes, talk about the historical psychological damage to Black women and then top it off by mentioning empty beds. Obvious pandering to the most insecure Black women. Any secure, thoughtful Black woman reading Essence should have stopped right here....because that woman has a man or if she doesn't, she's not pining over BM with WW because she knows there are many good Black men out there. She's not stuck in the negative mentality White society placed Black women in from slavery times.



I'm happy that she "digs" us (I'm sure she would find a stronger verb for Black people exercising the option to be with each other), but Jill totally negates her "understanding" of IR love with



I'm just Sayin'????

This is a lame cop out similar to those made by the recently banned blacgrl. Start of saying something potentially upsetting, highlight your misfortune claiming its the reason for your outlook, and then conclude by stating that it was just a harmless opinion.

How about saying the wince and the sting is a wrong feeling and that your rational understanding of Black people being open and free to be with who they want to is the culminating of our collective struggle to regain our humanity these last 400+ years.

Essence readers don't seem to put out when they see Black women with White men.... Her spirit should feel joy when shes men who would have been lynched with White Women.. Okay, that would be extremely far fetched, but at least she could have ended the article by giving a boost to these Black women who wince. She offers no solution to them, in fact she states: no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning.

That has yet to stop burning. You would think that she would come up with a solution to stop the burning. This is suppose to be a magazine that empowers Black women, remember!!!

There are no solutions to Black people stuck with this mentality. Black people, if we don't love ourselves, we will never find ourselves worthy to be loved by anyone else, even our own people. A Black person being with another “race” should be seen as an even exchange. Stop selling ourselves short in the exchange by elevating our partners, or finding value in us after the exchange has happened. An IR relationship built on self-hate is doomed from the start, it needs no input from anyone else.

Unfortunately, too many Black men attracted to White women feel the need to defend themselves against this scorn a la Toure. Why two consenting adults get together is their own business. That's all that needs to be said concerning BM/WW. Anymore is giving much attention to those who want to think we are focusing on them, when they are focusing on us.

This is not even about Jill, when I see the beauty in her smile I feel that her soul is credible and that she doesn't hold real hatred for the BM/WW union. I know that she really wrote what she felt, even though I think it's coming from a psychologically damaging place that she seemingly doesn't want to heal.

Time Warner Inc/Essence magazine for two months in a row have successfully stirred up controversy. My time should have been focused on them, they would never print White Men and Asian Women: Faith Hill on Why it Hurts on any of there non Black female magazines. Even if they wanted to, good luck finding a White female celebrity to do so.

Jill Scott did though, and her thoughts are only hurtful in that they show some Black women are still in enough pain that they are willing to do “Massa Time Warner's" work for them.
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Excellent post.
 
Whoa XOXO you really wrote a very insightful post. I know I'm late to this discussion but I can understand why some BW feel the way Jill feels. I don't think BW would really care if it was some rare thing that a BM is dating or married to a white women, but I think its more of the accumulation over the years of successful black men marrying white and non-black women. I get it that there are people out there that will naturally be more attracted to different type of people I but I think its hard to argue that its more than a coincidence that when BM get some paper they either get with a white, hispanic, or some biracial or light skinned black women.

If BW demostrated the same dating patterns as BM then I would tell Jill that you have no room to talk, but thats not obviously the case. I also think if BW were desired more by other races then I think black women would not care. But when you look at the fact that there are more BW than BM, there are millions of BM behind bars, the guys that are gay, and on top of all that black men date and marrying out of their race in greater numbers that the BW then I can understand their bitterness to a degree.
 
reggie2k8 said:
Whoa XOXO you really wrote a very insightful post. I know I'm late to this discussion but I can understand why some BW feel the way Jill feels. I don't think BW would really care if it was some rare thing that a BM is dating or married to a white women, but I think its more of the accumulation over the years of successful black men marrying white and non-black women. I get it that there are people out there that will naturally be more attracted to different type of people I but I think its hard to argue that its more than a coincidence that when BM get some paper they either get with a white, hispanic, or some biracial or light skinned black women.

If BW demostrated the same dating patterns as BM then I would tell Jill that you have no room to talk, but thats not obviously the case. I also think if BW were desired more by other races then I think black women would not care. But when you look at the fact that there are more BW than BM, there are millions of BM behind bars, the guys that are gay, and on top of all that black men date and marrying out of their race in greater numbers that the BW then I can understand their bitterness to a degree.
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Reggie your dead wrong on so many fronts my friend.
1. Many successful bw date wm garcel, hallie, iman,sinya, kerry washington, and those are the ones I know off the top of my head. She is like many Americans who feel entitled to what they want without working for it. If it were a young black girl she would say men only want young hot things. She's hating pure and simple.

2. Most black men date and marry bw despite income. The ones who date ww are highlighted more so we the public get this perception that as soon as a bm gets money he runs from all things black to lily white town.

3. As xo pointed out who a grown person dates is their own business period the end. If you want a certain person go for them but don't hate on a person for finding what makes them happy.
I'm just saying...
 
andrae09 said:
Reggie your dead wrong on so many fronts my friend.
1. Many successful bw date wm garcel, hallie, iman,sinya, kerry washington, and those are the ones I know off the top of my head. She is like many Americans who feel entitled to what they want without working for it. If it were a young black girl she would say men only want young hot things. She's hating pure and simple.

2. Most black men date and marry bw despite income. The ones who date ww are highlighted more so we the public get this perception that as soon as a bm gets money he runs from all things black to lily white town.

3. As xo pointed out who a grown person dates is their own business period the end. If you want a certain person go for them but don't hate on a person for finding what makes them happy.
I'm just saying...
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Dead wrong??? I like Jill Scott and I don't get the impression that she is the type of women that goes around hating on everyone. I know that there are many bw with or married to white men in hollywood but I guarantee that they are dwarfed by the number of BM with WW or non-black women. On top of that those are only marriages, there are even more BM in relationships(but not married) with WW, which statistics have no way of counting. I guess I'm hating to because I can understand where she is coming from, but I'm one of those people that can always understand someone's point of view. I'm not saying that BW have any right to get mad, but I can understand why they do.

I agree that who a person dates should not matter to other people, but when I see BM celebrities, entertainers, and athletes only marrying and dating hispanic, biracial, light skinned, and white women it makes me think that something is off with the American black male standard of beauty. I understand that people have a preferences, I know this one white girl that has a thing for mexican guys which to me is somewhat odd. Not the Mark Sanchez Mexican guys but the negative stereotypical Mexican. Short, Chubby, and greasy looking Mexican. So I get people having preferences but when successful BM primarily only date "paper bag brown" women or lighter I find that troubling.

I think there is some tension in the black community between BW and BM, and both sides see what they want to see when it comes to each other, epsecially when it involves interracial relationships. I hear alot black guys on here say BW always complain about BM being with non-black women but never say anything about BW and WM. But I have been on sites like Sara Interracial Spice blog and they claim that black men get mad at them when they see them with white men while they have a white girl on their arm. I see sin from the men and the women, but both sides are still casting stones.

Oh and didn't XOXO say samething about people ending their post with the phrase "I'm just saying"?
 
andrae09 said:
Reggie your dead wrong on so many fronts my friend.
1. Many successful bw date wm garcel, hallie, iman,sinya, kerry washington, and those are the ones I know off the top of my head. She is like many Americans who feel entitled to what they want without working for it. If it were a young black girl she would say men only want young hot things. She's hating pure and simple.

2. Most black men date and marry bw despite income. The ones who date ww are highlighted more so we the public get this perception that as soon as a bm gets money he runs from all things black to lily white town.

3. As xo pointed out who a grown person dates is their own business period the end. If you want a certain person go for them but don't hate on a person for finding what makes them happy.
I'm just saying...
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Glad you responded first, Andrae. You saved me some typing.

I was about to go :smt068through that post. LoL
 
reggie2k8 said:
I agree that who a person dates should not matter to other people, but when I see BM celebrities, entertainers, and athletes only marrying and dating hispanic, biracial, light skinned, and white women it makes me think that something is off with the American black male standard of beauty.
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Well, if you think this is true then why don't BW make more of an issue regarding black guys who date light skinned girls and biracial girls? The last time I checked they save the vast majority of their whining for when black men marry/date white women. And this is despite they date/marry white women FAR FAR FAR less tha they date/marry lightskinned black women and biracial women.
 
JamalSpunky said:
Well, if you think this is true then why don't BW make more of an issue regarding black guys who date light skinned girls and biracial girls? The last time I checked they save the vast majority of their whining for when black men marry/date white women. And this is despite they date/marry white women FAR FAR FAR less tha they date/marry lightskinned black women and biracial women.
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Well I actually do hear black women complain about them only dating women lighter than a brown paper bag. The reason why some black women don't complain about the men dating the biracial or light skinned BW is because there are many BW out there that are light skin. But I believe the reason BM/WW relationships garner so much attention from BW is because no black women can identify with a white woman.
 
reggie2k8 said:
So I get people having preferences but when successful BM primarily only date "paper bag brown" women or lighter I find that troubling.
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So just because someone (a BM) manages to succeed on a financial level in life that gives others a right to judge him and his decisions?

Should Black men who don't have financial success and want BW find it troubling that BW do a lot of complaining about IR when it involves a BM with financial success?

What exactly should a financially successful BM who likes WW or likes having choices among all races of women do? Think to themselves "oh I am going to make 6 figures this year so lets not talk to a WW and get me a sista because not enough sistas are marrying men who make bank?"

Some people act as if successful BM are not people with thoughts, feelings, ideas and emotions of their own, but are things that can be put on reserve like a hotel reservation or an airline ticket waiting to be picked up and used by its "rightful owner" (BW).
 
awall1 said:
^^^^ what they should do is not HATE black women once they get money. Its not about having choices..a lot of these cats totally write off their own race once they get money. reggie bush hates black women.

Think about it, its not a white famous male who writes off their entire race, hell 95& of them only date white. There has never been a white athlete that has never been known to not date his race at all like reggie and other black dudes. Why don't they take advantage of their option of getting with other races?

And yeah the black ones who might like black women say she has to be light skinned. From chris brown, omarion, yung berg, t.i. and a lot of cats i cant even remember have been cases of them saying they only date light skinned black women. If you look at the rap/ r n b videos the main girl is always light skinned/spanish girls. This is on purpose. 99% of the time when a black famous male is with a black woman, shes light skinned mixed. When they are doing photo shoots, they request light skinned. A mexican model even told me this. The slave mentality of these brothas is sad, that light/dark stuff shouldn't matter. They claim light skinned and spanish women are more "exotic"
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When did he ever publicly come out and state that?

A lot of White dudes date exclusively Asian...
 
awall1 said:
^^^^ what they should do is not HATE black women once they get money. Its not about having choices..a lot of these cats totally write off their own race once they get money. reggie bush hates black women.
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I don't think Reggie Bush has ever said anything derogatory about BW. He may not date them, but that is his choice (I am not even fully aware of his entire dating history and if he ever dates them).

Think about it, its not a white famous male who writes off their entire race, hell 95& of them only date white. There has never been a white athlete that has never been known to not date his race at all like reggie and other black dudes. Why don't they take advantage of their option of getting with other races?
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So what? When did White men/White Athletes become the barometer for what Black men/Athletes should do? Maybe the White athletes and Black Athletes both like WW for the same reasons. And athlete or not, there are more White men with Asian women than any other pairing. White men are taking full advantage.

And yeah the black ones who might like black women say she has to be light skinned. From chris brown, omarion, yung berg, t.i. and a lot of cats i cant even remember have been cases of them saying they only date light skinned black women. If you look at the rap/ r n b videos the main girl is always light skinned/spanish girls. This is on purpose. 99% of the time when a black famous male is with a black woman, shes light skinned mixed. When they are doing photo shoots, they request light skinned. A mexican model even told me this. The slave mentality of these brothas is sad, that light/dark stuff shouldn't matter. They claim light skinned and spanish women are more "exotic"
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Once again, back to my questions which you did not answer: What should a financially successful Black man who likes WW or a particular WW do? Pretend that he doesn't and get with a sista out of pity?
 
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reggie2k8 said:
Well I actually do hear black women complain about them only dating women lighter than a brown paper bag. The reason why some black women don't complain about the men dating the biracial or light skinned BW is because there are many BW out there that are light skin. But I believe the reason BM/WW relationships garner so much attention from BW is because no black women can identify with a white woman.
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Your last statement makes no sense. So I being a black male can't identify with a wm?
Holy shit I thought we were all human I guess I stand corrected. Smh
 
Inner Beauty said:
When did he ever publicly come out and state that?

A lot of White dudes date exclusively Asian...
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He's a hypocrite...as are MANY Black people on this issue.

NOBODY said shit about Kerry Washington(never dates BM) being on the cover of JET or Paula Patton being on the cover of Ebony..pregnant by a white man.

If they were BM the magazines would get slammed by hate mail.
 
flaminghetero said:
He's a hypocrite...as are MANY Black people on this issue.

NOBODY said shit about Kerry Washington(never dates BM) being on the cover of JET or Paula Patton being on the cover of Ebony..pregnant by a white man.

If they were BM the magazines would get slammed by hate mail.
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Very true. I even remember Paula Abdul saying that at one point in the 90s and no one said a thing about it.
 
andrae09 said:
Very true. I even remember Paula Abdul saying that at one point in the 90s and no one said a thing about it.
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I've noticed that races of people with land and resources care more about who their women date.

People that don't have shit care more about who their men date.
 
flaminghetero said:
He's a hypocrite...as are MANY Black people on this issue.

NOBODY said shit about Kerry Washington(never dates BM) being on the cover of JET or Paula Patton being on the cover of Ebony..pregnant by a white man.

If they were BM the magazines would get slammed by hate mail.
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That is true....

flaminghetero said:
I've noticed that races of people with land and resources care more about who their women date.

People that don't have shit care more about who their men date.
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Interesting theory....
 
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