what will you teach your kid?

That's what I was thinking.


MrFantastic was probably raised like that....which would explain alot.

 

The best amongst us usually are. What would you rather have them learn DB? That romance is real? It's more of a fairy tale than the tooth fairy. To trust others when most will stab you in the back the minute they feel threatened. I know it comes across as negative but to say Florida is prone to hurricanes isn't negative it's to help prepare for the storm. Life more often than not is harsh and very cruel and the few moments we find happiness are remarkable miracles but it doesn't take away from the fact that it's dog eat dog out. Only the strong can truly survive and more accurately thrive. The meek shall inherit nothing other than pain and suffering as the strong step on their backs to indulge in absolute power. Would it be better if we all recognized that we are in this together? Yes. Do I want a world where people will help instead of hurt empathize instead of turning an indifferent shoulder? Yes. But what I want and what is are two totally different things. I'd rather prepare my children and instill good life values rather than fill their heads with unprovable unfounded fairytales. It's unfair and even worst it's discipable to inflict what we hope onto them since we haven't it ourselves. It's like sending a soldier into battle without a gun or armor. It's a parents job to prepare us for the storms that lie ahead no matter how arduous the task.

 

I wish I had been

 

I'd rather have them learn how to love and how to trust.

That familial love thing is a fallacy. You think it's the be all and end all? Tell that to the little girl who's parents forced her to live in a cage. To the Child Called "It", and to the countless nameless children who are living in homes where parents burn them with cigarettes and beat them.

I'd want my children to know that they pick who they surround themselves with- that love is thicker than blood, and you have to know when to make the distinction.

I'd want my children to know that weakness is power- because when you understand your limitations, you know best how to stretch them.

As an individual, you can do many things, but as a couple, and as a team, you can do so much more. I'd like to have seen the revolt in Egypt rely on one man. It wouldn't happen. One person can say something in a crowd, but when it's taken up by the chorus, it's heard.

In order to really love someone, you have to trust them. That means trusting them with your heart, with your tears, and with the deepest fears you have. If you cannot trust, then you cannot love. Sure, you might get hurt. Sure, things might not work out, but it's in the journey- not the destination.

I would want my kids to know that heartbreak is part of life- it's painful, gut-wrenching, and miserable. But, when you find the person who wipes away your tears, holds you and tells you it's going to be OK in the end, and who would rather be with you when you're sick, or miserable than anywhere else in the world- it's all worth it. But you can't get there unless you let someone in. Show your weakness and your strength and learn to work together.

 

Thanks, Tam.

 

This is just so sad. Dre.. I think the best thing a parent can do is to avoid, at all cost to instill beliefs such as what was highlighted by DB (among many other things) and allow a child to develop their views on this on their own. You are robbing your future children of something that you don't have a right to do.
Most people will tell you that these highlighted beliefs are not healthy but of course you have a right to have them, but for Gods sake, don't spoon feed your future children that sad sad sad message, you might mess them up for life.

 

Boy do you have some problems.


Are you also gonna tell your kids from the start that Santa Claus isn't real? Hey while you're at it, why don't you tell them that dreams rarely come true that way they don't bother to have any.


lol at teaching your sons not to show any emotion or fears. I'm sure they'll make great husbands and fathers....

"Something filled up
My heart with nothing
Someone told me not to cry

But now that I'm older
My heart's colder
And I can see that it's a lie"

-Win Butler



Also I'm sure your daughters would greatly appreciate you telling them that real romance is a fantasy, but instead they'll probably be too busy trying to figure out why you also told them to "find a man that loves them".


On 2nd thought you shouldn't even worry about that. They'll probably have their hand full trying to solve the puzzle of how someone can have "true divinity" and at the same time put themselves ahead of others. Well, I suppose that'll only be a problem if they decide to open The Bible and find one of the many verses that says to put others in front of yourself.



I hope for your kids sake that one day the common sense stick will strike you one good time in the head. Well.....maybe we should make that 3 or 4 strikes just to be safe.

 

Have any of you ever gone hiking or hunting or gone on safari? This world is very cruel. From the moment most things are born its a never ending unrelenting fight not to die. You may see it as sad but I see truth. We need to stop lying about what is in hope of what might be. The problems we face will never be changed otherwise.

 

Everything I said had nothing to do with common sense just my philosophy on life as I've seen it up to this point.

 

We all have long roads ahead of us and even if we walk along side others our paths are our own and we walk them alone because life strips everything away. All our loved ones all those we care about through one way or another and we are always left with just ourselves in the end. It may seem unpleasant but it doesn't make it less true. We can take all we learn from our time with our loved ones to enrich our lives and those around us but its important to remember what is. Its the only way to change the things we don't like. The bs fairytales we falsely represent as truth may assuage our discomforts from time to time but only serves to make us weak for coming times when we'll need to be our strongest.

 

Your "philosophy" is barbaric and hardly belongs in this society.


Dreaming Blue said you had a recipe for raising a lonely adult and you said "The best amongst us usually are". How dumb is that?
If you think the best people are lonely souls who trust nobody then you're sadly mistaken. You have a skewed perception of what makes someone a good person.


Only a foolish man walks around keeping all his sorrows, fears, and pains to himself. Doing that has eaten even the strongest men alive.

It's called life....
No matter how much you prepare your kids they're gonna eventually walk into a battle without guns or amour.

You don't have to believe in romance to have your heart broken.
You don't have to trust people to get screwed over.
With a little abstract thinking and awareness you can gain the knowledge that comes with "singularity" while with a group of people

It's sad that at your age you don't know these things.

 

Making copies of some of the inputs to this thread which are excellent points. One of the best threads on this site for those who want their children to be better than themselves. Language study will be a part of my son's home learning program outside of the private school I will someday place him. The primary five languages he will study young in his life will be Spanish, Chinese, Arabic, Japanese and Korean. These will be the languages that will shape the 21st century.

 

Perhaps a better title for this thread is "How will you train and condition your kid?"

 

Your views are bitter and defeatist.. not anything you should ever pack onto your kids, let them develop their views on this on their own and not be colored by your defeatist and bitter attitude. You could severely inhibit them.
The world is cruel, yes, doesn't mean you should sit down, give up and shy away from interactions and be a one man island, not showing emotions and not be able to trust. Lots of very beautiful things around .
Some of the stuff you mention is down right horrifying things to teach a kid. Are we having a bad day hun? Sending you hugs!
XOX

 

I never said life couldn't be enjoyed but it must be approached with managed expectations. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst kind of thing. The one thing I notice with the people of my generation is everyone thought they'd have big houses with beautiful husbands and wives with perfect kids with minor to no problems. Now that we're all adults and most don't have those things they're fucking depressed. Everyone is on Xanax prescription from either killing themselves or killing their coworkers. We were promised a future that never exisited and I think all of this heartache could have been avoided if we were told the truth. That life ain't puppies and rainbows. Often times it great and often times it sucks but mostly it's just blah.
Everyday is a bad lol

 

I get it, I know you are a glass half empty dude, you always look at the grim side and forget the rest - black or white for you, you go to extremes, you forget everything in-between. Its not your view or unrealistic puppies and rainbows - there is a whoooole spectrum in-between
I still send you hugs because your my baby brother

 

Daaaayyyyyyuuuuuummmm.... This thread brought out some heart held beliefs, some wisdom and some introspection...

Deciding to take on the responsibility of parenthood is without a doubt, one of the most important, intensive, and time consuming responsibilities any man or woman can undertake.

There are no perfect manuals, no perfect role models and nothing perfect in this world to use as a rule and guide when laying down the blueprint for how to get there, wherever "there" is.

I don't think I'd be too far outside the box if I said that most of us would want our child or children to have it better than we did. And I believe that many of us would be willing to sacrifice for the sake of our children.

As much as I would love to believe that I am Superman and have an "S" emblazoned on my chest, I could not protect my child from everything and would be wrong to try to do so, if I wanted him/her/them to develop the survival skills so necessary in this ever changing world.

What we teach is what they'll learn but there are several other dynamics happening at the same time. They will test the lesson. If you teach by example, the dividing line is often easy to discern. The "Do As I Say" method will most often find rebellion on their part and a retraction on yours if you don't live the lesson, because we want to believe that everything is ideal and perfect for our children, but they see beyond your rose colored lenses...

What would I teach?

At the basis of everything... Love, Truth, Knowledge, and Respect

The definitions are endless... the examples are few....

Love is not a possession... Is not conditional, taken and withdrawn for cause...

Truth.... to one's self.... and to everyone that should ever know you...

Knowledge.... is power... when welded wisely, brings peace and prosperity...

Respect... A kind (but wise) word even in the worse of situations, diffuses most every crises....

From a parent's side... Your word - a promise....

If you give it, keep it... The measure of everything you do and say may be judged on the one time you fail to follow-thru....

Just my take on a hot topic... I could go on, but we all have opinions, and while we're stuck trying to find ideal solutions, they grow up anyway...

 

Thanks so much bro, I enjoyed your take. I love the way your words sing.