'Why I Prefer Black Men': A White Woman's Story

[lainarain]

If she doesn't go for black men because white men are rejecting her, why does she make such a big deal of white men rejecting her?

I'm not an ally of the journalist, but she doesn't say she is rejected by bm. She DOES say that bm will take what they can get...but not with her. Wm are not rejecting her, according to her.

...Black men are happy to get the babe they couldn't have when she was twentysomething and fertile. The laws of the marketplace do prevail. It's not me, it's them—them being the white guys who weren't after me anymore, or so I claimed.

That's a lie. The truth is, I attract about the same percentage of available white men my age (and far younger!) now as I did when I was thirty—and that's not including the unavailable white men who want to play around anyway.

Enough white men want me that I was hardly facing enforced celibacy, but I don't want them.

 

[Kid Rasta]

The dictionary definiton of fetish --

fetish: an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion.

That obsessive devotion could very well be a particular race (ie Black men).

The Kid Rasta 8)

 

[Sabinne]

The dictionary definiton of fetish --

Fetish: an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion.

That obsessive devotion could very well be a particular race (ie Black men).

The Kid Rasta 8)

Good call. Thank you for correcting me.

 

[amy]

ok, ok kids.... I think that we might be getting off topic here.....


Back to this article....

I can understand that overall, it might not please everyone... but I have to be completely honest and say that there are some things that she says that I agree with. Now, of course, most of what she says are sweeping generalizations and I might likely react in a similar way (as some of the men here) if a guy wrote an article like this in regards to women... HOWEVER... I am attracted to black men, so some of the things that she says do ring true for me:

I want black men. They want me. We look at one another and exchange a visible frisson of sexual energy in the lingering glances.

This is her experience.... but it is mine as well. I have not felt the intensity that she speaks of with men of any other race. Is it wrong to admit that?

Black men have more energy, style and edge than white men. They know how to flirt, a nearly lost art among the rest of us. A black man is so damned sexy because he knows how to make a woman feel sexy.

Black men have something white guys don't have anymore: confidence in their masculinity, their sexuality. They clearly know they're men. White men appear to be waiting for the latest sociological research study to let them know if they are men or not. Yet black men are gentlemen, something else white men no longer are. They make me feel like a woman, both respected and desired. I can let go of my inhibitions, my need to control, when I am with them. How many white men can treat a woman like a lady and ravish her too?

I tend to agree with most of this too.... HOWEVER, I would have worded it with more "the black men that I have known" or more "In my experience"-type of statements. Would that have made it more acceptable? And I would have left out the comparison to white men... There is no need to put down one group to elevate another!

I am sure there must be some black men who aren't good in bed. Personally, I have not experienced one who isn't. (True, I am not dating down the socioeconomic ladder, but I didn't do that when I dated white either, so the racial comparisons seem valid and fair.)

hahaha... I have experienced at least one BM who was bad, bad, bad in bed! However... what the heck does "dating down the socioeconomic ladder" have to do with being good in bed?? (I for one, am SURE that Donald Trump must suck in bed! :lol: :lol: )

Analyze the roots of attractions all you want—like scientists have done—and you won't come up with a perfect explanation for why we crave what we do. Desire rises from our depths and is gloriously oblivious to the good opinion of others. Yet until recently, I pretended that my lust was an equal-opportunity craving, because that seemed like the right thing to do.

This rings completely true to me. I have had a hard time coming to terms with my "preference" because of the negative stereotypes associated to women who mainly date black men... to the point where I also have gone on a few dates with a "token white boy"... to prove (to myself? to my friends? to my mother?) that I'm not just a "black-cock-hoe"...

That was my last token white guy. I recently came out of my racial-preference closet and told my friends, "I love black men."
(...)
Nobody was surprised. ...

Well, that's that. I can't fake it or hide it. It has nothing to do with not liking any other men... but generally speaking, it's BM that I like - AND definitely not JUST for the sex... I hope to one day find a nice, kind loving BM who will want me for life and will give lots of beautiful little mixed babies!

Overall, I can understand why this article may be offensive to some... but I have to admit, that I kinda see her point...

I read what she wrote and I can see why some guys might think she's just out for sex, but she does make some good points.

The thing she said about black men making her feel sexy rings true with me. They have a totally different way about themselves which is great cause they are flirtatious and yet gentlemen when they need to be. This is what I can relate to and black men just seem to have this more than the white guys I've dated.

They just make me feel more like a woman when I'm with them.

 

[7Seven]

The dictionary definiton of fetish --

fetish: an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion.

That obsessive devotion could very well be a particular race (ie Black men).

The Kid Rasta 8)

There is a point when being "obsessive" becomes compulsive - that is what we have with WW who seek out black males for sex. It is no longer an obsession because they are now acting on their obsessive thoughts - so detestable, in such an oppressive way it becomes racist. It is an natural thought like all racism. Like they have some privilege, some right that has been bestowed on them because of their skin. THE POLITICS OF SKIN. It is a bloody fuckin curse.

People do not see racism or a racist when it throwing shit right in their faces. I guess being a racist can only have negative connotations!?!? All for what!? Shaming WM for no longer being Men!? Where does a women come off telling MEN HOW TO BE MEN!? She would not know a REAL MAN if he came in bitch slap her.

Still, no white women have answered. What if you run into a black male who is not any of those things!? How do you know it is not just some facade, some fake whim he is putting on just to get in your pants!? Or are white women just as easy as they say?

 

[LaydeezmanCris]

The dictionary definiton of fetish --

fetish: an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion.

That obsessive devotion could very well be a particular race (ie Black men).

The Kid Rasta 8)

There is a point when being "obsessive" becomes compulsive - that is what we have with WW who seek out black males for sex. It is no longer an obsession because they are now acting on their obsessive thoughts - so detestable, in such an oppressive way it becomes racist. It is an natural thought like all racism. Like they have some privilege, some right that has been bestowed on them because of their skin. THE POLITICS OF SKIN. It is a bloody fuckin curse.

People do not see racism or a racist when it throwing shit right in their faces. I guess being a racist can only have negative connotations!?!? All for what!? Shaming WM for no longer being Men!? Where does a women come off telling MEN HOW TO BE MEN!? She would not know a REAL MAN if he came in bitch slap her.

Still, no white women have answered. What if you run into a black male who is not any of those things!? How do you know it is not just some facade, some fake whim he is putting on just to get in your pants!? Or are white women just as easy as they say?

thats the whole point i've been trying to get through. Its a shame that people see fellow individuals as inanimate objects.

 

[Sabinne]

It sounds like all the WW here are hypocrites. Most definitely abnormal deep psychological chemical imbalances. But I am glad you two faced hypocrites showed and deposed yourselves. It seems all of you do have even have the gall to impose your idiosyncrasies upon white men, because more or less they will not stand for it. You find it much easier to mentally control black men whom will most likely have an "colour complex." It is just another twist of racism spit out from the Ether. What pisses me off some of these black men who "exclusively" date WW can not even see it - can not see past the light of day and accept that fact that they are only for the enjoyment and entertainment for WW. That is pathetic! It is pathetic because women like Sabinne and the like are less then desirable, and do not offer much. Nothing much more then a nut on the face. Definitely NOT the hot chick - more or less like the average looking business executive chick whom could be most likely a piggy, that has an token self-righteous attitude.

But oh! What if you meet a black male whom does not satisfy your idea of what is to be sexual? What if you meet many black males whom does not satisfy your racist dogma!? Then what!? You spit him back into the Ether and go about back to Fortress Caucasia. But please keep exposing your drivel, maybe it may be a wake up call for black men whom are incumbent with stupidity.

Shut the fuck up, you useless ignorant piece of trash. My cousins are black and I was raised with them, so you pull your racist bullshit on someone who'll actually take it. You're a pathetic self righteous piece of shit that needs to get an exterminator to remove the giant bug from your ass. Fuck you.

 

[LaydeezmanCris]

Erm Sabinne, did you actually have to post some profane stuff like a 4 year old? What the other guy said might have offended you but your response wasnt better. As you know, not a lot of people on this site use such bad language despite when they're provoked so if you could act a little bit more mature next time, you point might be more validated.

 

[Sabinne]

Erm Sabinne, did you actually have to post some profane stuff like a 4 year old? What the other guy said might have offended you but your response wasnt better. As you know, not a lot of people on this site use such bad language despite when they're provoked so if you could act a little bit more mature next time, you point might be more validated.

Oh, get off your soapbox and save the admonitions for someone else. If anyone needs to be chastised, it's not me, I'm not the one accusing other people of being racist. I could care less whether or not you like my response, that's what I thought when I read that bullshit and I still think it. To be honest, I was much nicer than he deserved. If I think I need help with my communications skills, I'll go back to Vanderbilt to get my master's in communication instead of just a BA--I really doubt I'll come to you for advice on the matter.

 

[7Seven]

It sounds like all the WW here are hypocrites. Most definitely abnormal deep psychological chemical imbalances. But I am glad you two faced hypocrites showed and deposed yourselves. It seems all of you do have even have the gall to impose your idiosyncrasies upon white men, because more or less they will not stand for it. You find it much easier to mentally control black men whom will most likely have an "colour complex." It is just another twist of racism spit out from the Ether. What pisses me off some of these black men who "exclusively" date WW can not even see it - can not see past the light of day and accept that fact that they are only for the enjoyment and entertainment for WW. That is pathetic! It is pathetic because women like Sabinne and the like are less then desirable, and do not offer much. Nothing much more then a nut on the face. Definitely NOT the hot chick - more or less like the average looking business executive chick whom could be most likely a piggy, that has an token self-righteous attitude.

But oh! What if you meet a black male whom does not satisfy your idea of what is to be sexual? What if you meet many black males whom does not satisfy your racist dogma!? Then what!? You spit him back into the Ether and go about back to Fortress Caucasia. But please keep exposing your drivel, maybe it may be a wake up call for black men whom are incumbent with stupidity.

Shut the fuck up, you useless ignorant piece of trash. My cousins are black and I was raised with them, so you pull your racist bullshit on someone who'll actually take it. You're a pathetic self righteous piece of shit that needs to get an exterminator to remove the giant bug from your ass. Fuck you.

Oh! Did I strike a cord Miss Piggy!? I call shit when I see, and your shit smells funny. Judging the by the use of poor English vernacular which is spewing through your babble; perhaps you do not know what an racist is - also, just because you have cousins that are black, does not mean absolutely nothing because you ARE NOT BLACK. Also, try to come up with something original, instead of repeating back what I said about you.

 

[Sabinne]

It sounds like all the WW here are hypocrites. Most definitely abnormal deep psychological chemical imbalances. But I am glad you two faced hypocrites showed and deposed yourselves. It seems all of you do have even have the gall to impose your idiosyncrasies upon white men, because more or less they will not stand for it. You find it much easier to mentally control black men whom will most likely have an "colour complex." It is just another twist of racism spit out from the Ether. What pisses me off some of these black men who "exclusively" date WW can not even see it - can not see past the light of day and accept that fact that they are only for the enjoyment and entertainment for WW. That is pathetic! It is pathetic because women like Sabinne and the like are less then desirable, and do not offer much. Nothing much more then a nut on the face. Definitely NOT the hot chick - more or less like the average looking business executive chick whom could be most likely a piggy, that has an token self-righteous attitude.

But oh! What if you meet a black male whom does not satisfy your idea of what is to be sexual? What if you meet many black males whom does not satisfy your racist dogma!? Then what!? You spit him back into the Ether and go about back to Fortress Caucasia. But please keep exposing your drivel, maybe it may be a wake up call for black men whom are incumbent with stupidity.

Shut the fuck up, you useless ignorant piece of trash. My cousins are black and I was raised with them, so you pull your racist bullshit on someone who'll actually take it. You're a pathetic self righteous piece of shit that needs to get an exterminator to remove the giant bug from your ass. Fuck you.

Oh! Did I strike a cord Miss Piggy!? I call shit when I see, and your shit smells funny. Judging the by the use of poor English vernacular which is spewing through your babble; perhaps you do not know what an racist is - also, just because you have cousins that are black, does not mean absolutely nothing because you ARE NOT BLACK. Also, try to come up with something original, instead of repeating back what I said about you.

Strike a chord? Because you think I'm racist for defending a woman's right to find someone's skin attractive? You're a moron and you prove it with every word you say.

You think I have to be black to know whether or not I'm racist? I didn't even know that people could think differently of black skin until I was in junior high, it never even occured to me. In fact, I asked my cousin if he would be offended if a woman thought he was sexy because of his skin color. He asked me if I'd lost my mind. He said he wouldn't care one damn bit because he knew he was sexy. I told him about you folks losing your minds because I said it was okay to find black skin sexy. He said you were just making a show for everyone and it was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. He said you should be angry for folks dragging black people to prison for the color of their skin; not for finding black skin sexy.

 

[LaydeezmanCris]

Erm Sabinne, did you actually have to post some profane stuff like a 4 year old? What the other guy said might have offended you but your response wasnt better. As you know, not a lot of people on this site use such bad language despite when they're provoked so if you could act a little bit more mature next time, you point might be more validated.

Oh, get off your soapbox and save the admonitions for someone else. If anyone needs to be chastised, it's not me, I'm not the one accusing other people of being racist. I could care less whether or not you like my response, that's what I thought when I read that bullshit and I still think it. To be honest, I was much nicer than he deserved. If I think I need help with my communications skills, I'll go back to Vanderbilt to get my master's in communication instead of just a BA--I really doubt I'll come to you for advice on the matter.

Adonitions??? Now you're just being plain hysterical and ridiculous at the same time. Chastising you???? What are you on? Of course i have no responsibility to tell you how to speak but the usage of profane and silly language does not validate a point any more or less. You're only proving to people that you have nothing intelligent to come up with.
For the record, i doubt you'd actually get anything good in communication studies with such immature language. From this and previous posts, you seem a little bit bitter about so many things but thats your issue.
I never said you needed my help but what makes you think you'd even be successful in Communications with such immature language? You not coming to me for assistance is of no detriment at all. i already have much to do in my life. I even wish that i didnt have to do some things so where you come up with that from surprises me. Relax!!!!!!! No one is after you!!!!!!

 

[Sabinne]

Erm Sabinne, did you actually have to post some profane stuff like a 4 year old? What the other guy said might have offended you but your response wasnt better. As you know, not a lot of people on this site use such bad language despite when they're provoked so if you could act a little bit more mature next time, you point might be more validated.

Oh, get off your soapbox and save the admonitions for someone else. If anyone needs to be chastised, it's not me, I'm not the one accusing other people of being racist. I could care less whether or not you like my response, that's what I thought when I read that bullshit and I still think it. To be honest, I was much nicer than he deserved. If I think I need help with my communications skills, I'll go back to Vanderbilt to get my master's in communication instead of just a BA--I really doubt I'll come to you for advice on the matter.

Adonitions??? Now you're just being plain hysterical and ridiculous at the same time. Chastising you???? What are you on? Of course i have no responsibility to tell you how to speak but the usage of profane and silly language does not validate a point any more or less. You're only proving to people that you have nothing intelligent to come up with.
For the record, i doubt you'd actually get anything good in communication studies with such immature language. From this and previous posts, you seem a little bit bitter about so many things but thats your issue.
I never said you needed my help but what makes you think you'd even be successful in Communications with such immature language? You not coming to me for assistance is of no detriment at all. i already have much to do in my life. I even wish that i didnt have to do some things so where you come up with that from surprises me. Relax!!!!!!! No one is after you!!!!!!

Honey, I am relaxed. I just think that the only person who needs to advise me on language would be my mommy and since she's dead, I guess it's up to me. My bachelor's is in Communications. My master's is in Art History, so no worries. That...thing...just really hurt my feelings by saying those awful things to me. I said what I thought and I think "Fuck you." is really quite succinct.

 

[LaydeezmanCris]

Honey, I am relaxed. I just think that the only person who needs to advise me on language would be my mommy and since she's dead, I guess it's up to me. My bachelor's is in Communications. My master's is in Art History, so no worries. That...thing...just really hurt my feelings by saying those awful things to me. I said what I thought and I think "Fuck you." is really quite succinct.

You're on another random thing so i'd end it here. No one here is telling you how to speak, im pretty sure thats self-explanantory. Neither is anyone asking what you've studied. thats beside the point. Dont get me wrong, im not underminding it but its nothing to do with this :roll:

 

[7Seven]

It sounds like all the WW here are hypocrites. Most definitely abnormal deep psychological chemical imbalances. But I am glad you two faced hypocrites showed and deposed yourselves. It seems all of you do have even have the gall to impose your idiosyncrasies upon white men, because more or less they will not stand for it. You find it much easier to mentally control black men whom will most likely have an "colour complex." It is just another twist of racism spit out from the Ether. What pisses me off some of these black men who "exclusively" date WW can not even see it - can not see past the light of day and accept that fact that they are only for the enjoyment and entertainment for WW. That is pathetic! It is pathetic because women like Sabinne and the like are less then desirable, and do not offer much. Nothing much more then a nut on the face. Definitely NOT the hot chick - more or less like the average looking business executive chick whom could be most likely a piggy, that has an token self-righteous attitude.

But oh! What if you meet a black male whom does not satisfy your idea of what is to be sexual? What if you meet many black males whom does not satisfy your racist dogma!? Then what!? You spit him back into the Ether and go about back to Fortress Caucasia. But please keep exposing your drivel, maybe it may be a wake up call for black men whom are incumbent with stupidity.

Shut the fuck up, you useless ignorant piece of trash. My cousins are black and I was raised with them, so you pull your racist bullshit on someone who'll actually take it. You're a pathetic self righteous piece of shit that needs to get an exterminator to remove the giant bug from your ass. Fuck you.

Oh! Did I strike a cord Miss Piggy!? I call shit when I see, and your shit smells funny. Judging the by the use of poor English vernacular which is spewing through your babble; perhaps you do not know what an racist is - also, just because you have cousins that are black, does not mean absolutely nothing because you ARE NOT BLACK. Also, try to come up with something original, instead of repeating back what I said about you.

Strike a chord? Because you think I'm racist for defending a woman's right to find someone's skin attractive? You're a moron and you prove it with every word you say.

You think I have to be black to know whether or not I'm racist? I didn't even know that people could think differently of black skin until I was in junior high, it never even occured to me. In fact, I asked my cousin if he would be offended if a woman thought he was sexy because of his skin color. He asked me if I'd lost my mind. He said he wouldn't care one damn bit because he knew he was sexy. I told him about you folks losing your minds because I said it was okay to find black skin sexy. He said you were just making a show for everyone and it was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. He said you should be angry for folks dragging black people to prison for the color of their skin; not for finding black skin sexy.

Just maybe that is because he has nothing else to offer but his black skin and his larger then life member - and needs some kind of validation from white women; so the only way he can achieve this is by accepting racist overtone spewed by ugly white chicks. The only person going mad and loosing their minds are black men like him and white women like you. Perhaps he is still young and never entered the real world, like you, his expectation of the world will be shattered when reality hits.

 

[Sabinne]

Honey, I am relaxed. I just think that the only person who needs to advise me on language would be my mommy and since she's dead, I guess it's up to me. My bachelor's is in Communications. My master's is in Art History, so no worries. That...thing...just really hurt my feelings by saying those awful things to me. I said what I thought and I think "Fuck you." is really quite succinct.

You're on another random thing so i'd end it here. No one here is telling you how to speak, im pretty sure thats self-explanantory. Neither is anyone asking what you've studied. thats beside the point. Dont get me wrong, im not underminding it but its nothing to do with this :roll:

You questioned my success in my chosen field, madam. I was only trying to put your mind at ease. I'm pretty sure that when you said,

Erm Sabinne, did you actually have to post some profane stuff like a 4 year old? ...if you could act a little bit more mature next time, you point might be more validated.

you were trying to tell me how to speak to others. Yep, I'm pretty sure you're telling me the way you think I should speak and offering me pointers so that my points could be validated. Thank you, really. I appreciate the advice.

 

[Sabinne]

Just maybe that is because he has nothing else to offer but his black skin and his larger then life member - and needs some kind of validation from white women; so the only way he can achieve this is by accepting racist overtone spewed by ugly white chicks. The only person going mad and loosing their minds are black men like him and white women like you. Perhaps he is still young and never entered the real world, like you, his expectation of the world will be shattered when reality hits.

My cousin is a bright and handsome man. In fact, he's beautiful. He needs no validation from white women--you missed the part where I said we were raised together. He's been around white girls and white women his entire life. He married a white woman. You obviously are trying to transfer your own self doubts onto him, but it simply won't work. You're just going to have to find another way to deal with your own lack of self confidence.

As for me being ugly, well, beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder. I find you to be uglier than I could ever be and I don't even need to see you.

 

[7Seven]

Just maybe that is because he has nothing else to offer but his black skin and his larger then life member - and needs some kind of validation from white women; so the only way he can achieve this is by accepting racist overtone spewed by ugly white chicks. The only person going mad and loosing their minds are black men like him and white women like you. Perhaps he is still young and never entered the real world, like you, his expectation of the world will be shattered when reality hits.

My cousin is a bright and handsome man. In fact, he's beautiful. He needs no validation from white women--you missed the part where I said we were raised together. He's been around white girls and white women his entire life. He married a white woman. You obviously are trying to transfer your own self doubts onto him, but it simply won't work. You're just going to have to find another way to deal with your own lack of self confidence.

As for me being ugly, well, beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder. I find you to be uglier than I could ever be and I don't even need to see you.

The dashing attempt to berate my character on your part is pathetic at best. I grew up upper-middle class in southside London. Spare me you pity diatribes - they lack any substance and meaning what so ever. Lack of confidence!? I am often shunned for being too arrogant and eccentric. I hardly lack confidence, I will call shit when it is funky!

I also love the use of another cliche going old, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Tell me, what does that mean exactly!? You use as if it is some kind of a punch line and probably do not even know its original meaning. You can hardly read my Soul in a few words - stifling as it may seem, you just will not get your arse kissed by me. I am just telling you like it is. It is, what it is. Maybe you should get out of your pitiful small town and do some traveling in Europe, Eastern Asia or some place - save yourself from your ignorance; because any black male.....no.....I should say any superlative black male will never accept being some play toy or even be referred to something dealing with the politics of his skin. Increase your intelligible level a bit and come up with some more witty insults.

 

[Sabinne]

I never once suggested any man, black or white should be a play-toy. I'm not sure that you've actually read what I've said. I think that people are attracted to different things and skin color can be a part of their attraction. I don't see what's so wrong about that; a great many white women acquire tans to make themselves more attractive and that's just a skin color.

You're angry with someone, but I don't think it's me. I think perhaps you must have viewed yourself as some woman's play-toy at one point or another or you wouldn't be so upset. I can't see why else you'd have such a great need to feel superior to me, as if where you live would play any part in that. It hasn't helped you in the least bit and where you grew up hasn't either.

In my opinion, it's not so much where you come from in life that makes a difference, but where you go from there. I'm happy with my life. I came from nothing and managed to attend a wonderful university, eat dinner with Presidents, and see quite a few little parts of the world. Perhaps that's not good enough for you, but I don't live my life for you or anyone else. My life is my own.

Oh, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I study art extensively and one only needs to see some of the shat that people pay millions to own to come to that conclusion, cliche or not.

 

[LaydeezmanCris]

any black male.....no.....I should say any superlative black male will never accept being some play toy or even be referred to something dealing with the politics of his skin.

thats very true. Any black male who thinks his skin is all there is to about him is without a doubt a pretentious, insignificant, worthless nonentity.