Why is it so hard for me to meet a black man?

tuckerreed said:
Sugah, there are many decent, open minded, intelligent, educated, working with careers, black men to be found all over America--look on any IR dating site, like this one in PERSONALS or www.interracialmatcher.com and find a whole host of men all over the country and world.

the question is where are you looking? Decent, good men, whatever you define that as--but as it is really defined are found at bookstores like B&N, or cafes like Starbucks or locally owned ones, church, libraries, the parks, at lectures, reading groups, different activity clubs and groups. '''

I am always curious when i here someone say they cant find a DECENT Brotha, I always say Where are you looking. Often times the WW assume brothas are only at the club, always acting stereotypical. I always have to ask, did you just go to your towns DECENT places and look for a good man, dressed decently, walking by himself or siting in a cafe drinking coffee reading a book?

I live in a Big American City, at each day at 10 can find me on my break reading the NY Times, drinking coffee at Starbucks. I see plenty of black men in there, hardly any black women and Tons of WW. most of theWW dont even look me in the eye, so perhaps most are not interested in making a friend.

So the point is, we are everywhere and WW just have to open their eyes, smile and say hi or be receptive to us saying HI to them
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Wow, this post hits a home run out of the ball park. Hopefully, more white women will read it, and let it sink in.

These have been my experiences too.
 
Re: Decent black guy???

Bryant said:
I may be mistaken, but your profile says that you live in Indiana??? I'm not real close, but fairly close..... I live in Illinois. And i'm as decent as they come. I haven't been with any women sexually. I'm still really young though. I'm in college right now, and the opportunities are endless, but i've been able to hold off for that special "one." Believe me, i could have many women because i'm very handsome (not to sound vain or anything) but i only want to be with one girl... I'm a simple person i guess.
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Why are you "holding out for that special someone"..?..

Hell

When you do find that special woman she's gonna want some DICK...and if you don't have any experience you best believe she'll find a mofo that does..and it won't take her long either cap'm..

Yeah..

You are setting yourself up to be a PREMATURE EJACULATOR and a CUCKHOLD...If you don't develope the CONCENTRATION and ability to FIGHT OFF THAT NUT you never will...if so..not in time to keep your woman around...

YOU BETTER GET TO FUCKIN' SONNY.. :lol:

A dick is not something to save..it's something SLANG..and you might as well learn how to NOW...

Whoever gets involved with you is in for a big dissapointment..She'll want a man that knows what he's doing,with the ability to make her feel good like a woman should..not some bashful moron fumblin with his dick, bussin' nuts after the first hump..That's right where you're headed..

Having sex does not make you a bad person..no more than holding out for marraige makes you any better than the next mofo..
 
Soul Thinker, can you please tell me where you live in teh US and perhaps I can help you find a nice woman to date. Where I live it is not that hard at all to find a nice white woman to date(from how many dating sites????? on computer--you do have a computer dont you???) to speeddating, going to lectures, bookstores, sports activities, going to yoga and pilates, going to church, synagogue, concerts, museums, etc.
 
The South

Well T. I live in North Carolina it is still the South no matter what the appearances of liberal thought there. Which is why I love Europe because of the dearth of dating WW in the US.
 
Re: The South

Soulthinker said:
Well T. I live in North Carolina it is still the South no matter what the appearances of liberal thought there. Which is why I love Europe because of the dearth of dating WW in the US.
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Whatever you do, stay away from the Internet dating sites.
 
Soulthinker: why dont you use your computer and look at the dating sites, they are free to just browse.

There are lots of women from Germany, Australia, Scandanavia, England, italy Canada and lots of American women.

why are you saying you hope there are women of other countries, just go look. how do you hope to find a woman if you dont try? Yes, I am from South Carolina so I know it is hard down south to find women, but if you click on www.interracialmatcher.com and look at North Carolina, Virginia and Georgia and Florida, you will find tons of women in your age range.

you will also find women from other countries as well, but you have to look
 
Re: The South

SardonicGenie said:
Soulthinker said:
Well T. I live in North Carolina it is still the South no matter what the appearances of liberal thought there. Which is why I love Europe because of the dearth of dating WW in the US.
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Whatever you do, stay away from the Internet dating sites.
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I've actually found success on a particular site that tuckerreed often speaks of. You just have to keep things in perspective and understand the pitfalls of meeting someone on-line. I definitely prefer not to date too long-distance.
 
Re: The South

graphicsRat said:
SardonicGenie said:
Whatever you do, stay away from the Internet dating sites.
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Whoa! This one included? Why?
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I am mainly speaking of ones without forums...

and, you never know who you'll run into, and most people online aren't necessarily looking for what you are, even if they claim they are, and most of the time, those folks don't advertise themselves honestly.

Maybe there is one of a million, like the one tuckerreed mentioned, but still take caution to the wind. Yes, it's a good idea to browse them (in fact, I recommend that) but, keep in mind the nature of online dating while you do it.
 
I just realized why so many black men can't meet a white woman they like: Because so many white women can't meet or find a 'good and decent' black man they like.
 
Dangerous: where are you looking? If you are not looking then you wont see them and if you are looking are you looking in the right places?

to find quality people and not just black men , start looking in quality places. Ask yourself, what would Ft Wayne Indiana offer a decent black man? are there good, professional jobs, good churches, lots of Interracial couples, good restaurant, arts scene, entertainment in the city?

there is where you will find brothas like that
 
I'm quite new around here though I happen to have met this very sweet man and his name is Frank and he's close to my age. I've met him a few weeks ago from an online dating site called mate 1 and i managed to talk to him for awhile and got his msn and yahoo email address and we've happen to communicate most of the time. I would say that I really have found the right man and he currently lives in Roxboro, NC. I'm really happy that I've found the right guy.
 
How To Meet."Decent" Black Men......

:) At the risk of shameless self promotion, I can say that I'm a "decent" black man.I reside here in North Carolina, the triangle area.Sometimes in a community like this we'll find that we're spread out all over the world.
I just think that we as black men and white women seeking each other have to recognize that it's the same all over the world, and human nature is human nature.It just takes time, and I'll echo that to the white women who frequent clubs and etc......you're missing out on an entire segment of black men who go to work everyday, pay their own bills, and live as decent human beings.That segment gets overlooked at times in my view.
I don't drive an expensive car, nor am I a flashy type of person.But you can see me in your everyday life just doing what I do, plus a few creative endeavours that are now starting to come together. :D
 
I have a feeling you're just looking for any black guy. No, you need to look for someone you're attracted to mentally and physically. Otherwise you will run into people like that. Who want to hit it and then ditch it. I guarantee you if you look for someone based on what you like your result will be a wonderful gorgeous intelligent black man. I used to do that when I started to give up hope on my dream guy. I used to scope at black guys simply because they're black. But that's completely wrong. You have to look for A GUY not just "some black guy". It'll come to you don't worry.

Can I boast for a second here? I'm sorry. My Spidey (that's my nickname for him lol) seemed to me at first, out of my leauge. He was/is so clever, funny, sweet, kind, modest, gentleman-like that he almost seemed to perfect. I thought he was perfect actually. His sinful looks we're just a plus. But seeing as how I went from his little sister's best friend to a girl he likes basically opened a door for me. And it seems like when people meet each other they get sexual a little to quickly. I had always been just a friend but we got really close but stayed as friends for about a year or two. Until he finally asked me out and I screamed like a schoolgirl. And the first time he kissed me I thought I died, met God, and came back to life. My gosh those lips. THOSE LIPS! sorry, I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

Point I'm trying to make is, start as friends, make sure he has characteristics you like, that you're attracted to and something you can deal with. It's not hard to meet a decent black guy. There's tons of them out there.

and I feel like I seriously didn't answer your question I'm so sorry. New York is SWARMING with gorgeous black men. Don't look for the P DIDDY types. no offense P Diddy fans. look for the LL Cool J types. like in that movie Deliver Us from Eva. humble, kind, and funny. New York City to be precise. Even the suburbs.
 
How To Meet....Small World.

:D
Wedlock it is a small world. I live in the Triangle as well. The weather is all good.
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-Soul Thinker.

Hey there! I won't say the weather is exactly "all good," because I despise hot weather, but I definitely have to say it's great to see a local person on a forum like this! So, what do you say to us grabbing a couple of hot white women and hitting the town around here?!LOL
Anyway, it's good to say "hello" to someone local!

:D :D Blue Starlight, I am glad you stayed.Please continue posting, both your charm and your wit are lovely.
 
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