Why men aren't pandering to women anymore.

paniro187 said:
I also believe that alot of the women out here saying "there are no good men" or "I can't find a good man" aren't emotionally available for those good men anyway. most are carrying so much emotional baggage that they pass on good men all the time and don't even know it. this goes for men too of course
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Yo I might have to change my mind about you fam. You're on point like Derrek Rose right now damn.
 
Wow, so many thoughts on this...where to start?;)

Personally, i definitely think its a regional thing. I live in one of the worst cities in the world for dating (NYC) and i've always joked for years that shows like Sex and The City screwed up New York women for a good generation or two. Every professional woman here thinks they are SJP and looking for their own Mr.Big. Except, they're not. New York has the largest collection of 5's and 6's who think they're deserving of 10's than anywhere else in the world. That in itself makes dating hard here. Their neurotic-ness has put some unbelievable expectations on men. A blue collar guy isn't considered attractive to them even though he has a steady job and benefits. I remember a buddy of mine was telling a story the other day about some women he overheard the other day at lunch joking about how they only date men who have an IRA or at least a six digit salary. All i could do was shake my head.

You know why marriage is so fucked in this country? Because no one is willing to work together to make anything anymore. It has to come ready made and ready to ship out. I'm not absolving men at all as to why the state of most relationships today is a tragedy of super selfish proportions but women who "refuse to settle" are gonna keep waiting for that Mr. America float to show up and find that the whole parade has passed them by.
 
Preach Motherfucka Preach

Damn I just caught the spirit on this post lol

Esoterik Dreadz said:
Wow, so many thoughts on this...where to start?;)

Personally, i definitely think its a regional thing. I live in one of the worst cities in the world for dating (NYC) and i've always joked for years that shows like Sex and The City screwed up New York women for a good generation or two. Every professional woman here thinks they are SJP and looking for their own Mr.Big. Except, they're not. New York has the largest collection of 5's and 6's who think they're deserving of 10's than anywhere else in the world. That in itself makes dating hard here. Their neurotic-ness has put some unbelievable expectations on men. A blue collar guy isn't considered attractive to them even though he has a steady job and benefits. I remember a buddy of mine was telling a story the other day about some women he overheard the other day at lunch joking about how they only date men who have an IRA or at least a six digit salary. All i could do was shake my head.

You know why marriage is so fucked in this country? Because no one is willing to work together to make anything anymore. It has to come ready made and ready to ship out. I'm not absolving men at all as to why the state of most relationships today is a tragedy of super selfish proportions but women who "refuse to settle" are gonna keep waiting for that Mr. America float to show up and find that the whole parade has passed them by.
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DP1Preach.gif
 
paniro187 said:
and usually women like that stay alone or get fucked and ducked. and a few of them finally get knocked off their high horse and chill out on that pipe dream.
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Truthfully in this area it happens a lot the only draw back is you have a bunch of women bitter because a friend they deem lesser than them gets a "Mr. Big" type(some dude on Wall St or who comes from money). They spend a lot of time wondering why they can't go on really nice vacations to places like Dubai or Turks and Cacos on some one elses dime even though many of them can afford to pay for themselves.
Its a city wide epidemic. Dude was not lying when he said Sex and The City really fucked up the game for a generation or two.
Not to mention the part about a bunch of 5s and 6s who think they're 10s, couldn't have phrased it better myself.
The problem with places like NY is that there is an unbelievably large number of good looking people the bigger problem is:
1. Finding people with options who are truly willing to commit (a lot of cheating)
2. People who greatly over estimate their value. Its like going to an Ivy League school and being around a bunch of rich kids. Hanging out with them and having access to their lifestyle might delude you into believing that its your lifestyle too. You forget you have to work up to that level because you weren't born into that shit like they were.

Let me also add I have to disagree on one thing. NY is great for dating but horrible for anything long term. Love rarely if ever exists in a place that's mostly about money and entertainment.
 
The Dark Knight said:
Totally appreciate your honesty and I agree that men are full of shit too.
But the one thing I give them a pass on is they go for the short term hook up instead of the life long commitment which in my experience actually has a greater chance of happening.
A funny guy willing to buy a shit ton of drinks can actually go from Uncle Phil to Will Smith for a night if the woman is drunk and lonely enough lol.
These same guys aren't holding out Angelina like a lot of women are holding out for Brad.
Truthfully I think we all benefit from being the best we can be before dating (increase your chances) and then maintain it as much as you can while in the relationship. The way I look at fitness in both physical and financial health is its a gift to me and its a gift I want to share with my girl because we both deserve it. I want to travel and live well and because she's willing to love me and stand by me when I'm not at my absolute best I want to share it with her. She could easily do better than me physically and financially if she wanted to but she was dumb enough to let me charm her so I want to honor that lol.
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You just supported my whole point with that last sentence. You are not where you want to be or think you should be physically and/or financially, yet your girl finds you desirable in spite of that. Your physical appearance and the size of your bank account are not her only priorities. A rarity in NY, perhaps, but you now know firsthand that we look for a man that we connect with on more than one or two levels. And men, if they're honest, will say the same thing. If a man wants a serious relationship, I have to think he will want more than someone whose beauty only goes skin deep.
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
You just supported my whole point with that last sentence. You are not where you want to be or think you should be physically and/or financially, yet your girl finds you desirable in spite of that. Your physical appearance and the size of your bank account are not her only priorities. A rarity in NY, perhaps, but you now know firsthand that we look for a man that we connect with on more than one or two levels. And men, if they're honest, will say the same thing. If a man wants a serious relationship, I have to think he will want more than someone whose beauty only goes skin deep.
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Ches while I appreciate your sentiment a single instance not a trend does it make.
Am I grateful and happy? Yes but I recognize this is far from the norm. Also I think we clatified earlier that the YT posters theories were more about single younger without kids. Women of ypur experience tend not to think that way.
 
The Dark Knight said:
Then post a thread about women not pandering to men if you feel it goes both way.
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I believe that post should be addressed to Panino, since he "insists" it does. (but never typed it in his posts). My 'yeah I noticed" and sarcasm smiley was, well sarcasm.

Now why pray-tell would I want to make a thread like this one? I feel?? If you notice, we women have NOT been saying we pander to men - what I KEEP seeing from YOU however, is MEN PANDER to women. See the difference? Of course not.
 
Bliss said:
I believe that post should be addressed to Panino, since he "insists" it does. (but never typed it in his posts). My 'yeah I noticed" and sarcasm smiley was, well sarcasm.

Now why pray-tell would I want to make a thread like this one? I feel?? If you notice, we women have NOT been saying we pander to men - what I KEEP seeing from YOU however, is MEN PANDER to women. See the difference? Of course not.
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Lol ok
 
The Dark Knight said:
Truthfully in this area it happens a lot the only draw back is you have a bunch of women bitter because a friend they deem lesser than them gets a "Mr. Big" type(some dude on Wall St or who comes from money). They spend a lot of time wondering why they can't go on really nice vacations to places like Dubai or Turks and Cacos on some one elses dime even though many of them can afford to pay for themselves.
Its a city wide epidemic. Dude was not lying when he said Sex and The City really fucked up the game for a generation or two.
Not to mention the part about a bunch of 5s and 6s who think they're 10s, couldn't have phrased it better myself.
The problem with places like NY is that there is an unbelievably large number of good looking people the bigger problem is:
1. Finding people with options who are truly willing to commit (a lot of cheating)
2. People who greatly over estimate their value. Its like going to an Ivy League school and being around a bunch of rich kids. Hanging out with them and having access to their lifestyle might delude you into believing that its your lifestyle too. You forget you have to work up to that level because you weren't born into that shit like they were.

Let me also add I have to disagree on one thing. NY is great for dating but horrible for anything long term. Love rarely if ever exists in a place that's mostly about money and entertainment.
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LOL. classic
 
paniro187 said:
Special note though it seems that is not the common consesus here though. I think offends here to posts like this cause you women are not like this and if most women thought like y'all did there wouldn't be such a rift growing between women and men ......Im sure I didn't type that the way its in my head....
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u are rite on point. a lot of females have taken on that TV shit and believed it....a lot of men have gone way to0 far on the ends of the spectrum with that metrosexual bullshit or being a gangster rapper shit
 
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paniro187 said:
Special note though it seems that is not the common consesus here though. I think offends here to posts like this cause you women are not like this and if most women thought like y'all did there wouldn't be such a rift growing between women and men ......Im sure I didn't type that the way its in my head....
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Correct. And you know what else? Our girlfriends too. If you knew the heartache I and my girls have gone through for/over men, you wouldn't type what you all have been. And I know I don't speak alone.

We don't expect our men to be these knights on horses. We meet our men halfway when we can, we have their backs, we love them and want to be loved by them. Don't let SITC or sitcoms fool you.
That's NOT real life.
 
Bliss said:
Correct. And you know what else? Our girlfriends too. If you knew the heartache I and my girls have gone through for/over men, you wouldn't type what you all have been. And I know I don't speak alone.

We don't expect our men to be these knights on horses. We meet our men halfway when we can, we have their backs, we love them and want to be loved by them. Don't let SITC or sitcoms fool you. That's NOT real life.
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Co-sign.
 
Is this about weight and looks again and about how average looking women say they are not picky yet want tall men but get mad when average men say they want women who have tight bodies? OH SNAP!!:cool:
 
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