Never Satisfied why Nerdy black men can't find happiness

Inner Beauty said:
It's a shame some people wouldn't want a man who's well-rounded, cultured and most importantly, intelligent.
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I agree IB. But then I'm not one to label anyone a nerd based upon academics, intellect, or personal interests. I don't think I've ever looked at someone and thought 'what a nerd'. Not to mention I worked with physicians and the Electrophysiologists in particular were considered really geeky by most people, and man they were a sexy bunch of a boys!
 
EspyInHeels said:
I agree IB. But then I'm not one to label anyone a nerd based upon academics, intellect, or personal interests. I don't think I've ever looked at someone and thought 'what a nerd'. Not to mention I worked with physicians and the Electrophysiologists in particular were considered really geeky by most people, and man they were a sexy bunch of a boys!
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LOL!

I'm into looks in so far as I like to be physically attracted to a guy, but yes, a man with a brain (and one who can teach you things), is definitely a beautiful thing.
 
Inner Beauty said:
LOL!

I'm into looks in so far as I like to be physically attracted to a guy, but yes, a man with a brain (and one who can teach you things), is definitely a beautiful thing.
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Seriously, IB, I notice details more than the overall picture so I don't think of people in terms of labels I guess. People are individuals, and therefore unique, which makes applying 'one-size fits most' labels to them impossible. Of course I'm sure a lot of people would think I likely fit the nerd/geek persona myself. So be it, beats simple, dull, and ignorant all to hell IMO.
 
EspyInHeels said:
Seriously, IB, I notice details more than the overall picture so I don't think of people in terms of labels I guess. People are individuals, and therefore unique, which makes applying 'one-size fits most' labels to them impossible. Of course I'm sure a lot of people would think I likely fit the nerd/geek persona myself. So be it, beats simple, dull, and ignorant all to hell IMO.
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It surely does!

You make the nerd/geek look good. So keep reppin' sista!
 
xoxo said:
Don't be fooled, she is not talking about Black male "nerds", or a Black version of what a White nerd is a la Steve Urkel.

She's conflating "swagerless" Black men who don't behave like thugs and masking them as nerds merely to find a parallel to the numerous Black women who say they can't find happiness.

What passes as a "Black nerd" is merely the norm for other groups of men who see intelligence and the pursuit thereof as merely an extension of themselves, not some separate path outside the realm of their culture merely pursued for a paycheck.

Black men who have voiced these issues are self assured enough to have tried with these Black women; real Black nerds never bothered to, due to their lack of social interaction/skills with women, thus one of the reason they are considered nerds.

As Nikon so brilliantly stated, if these Black nerds were to date their so-called social equivalents it would be these slovenly, rotundess, "fried or fake" Black women, but unfortunately these women, "body confidence and all" are trying to net Reggie Bush or some "baller" way out of their league. They don't want "swagerless" Black men either, and for the so called Black female "nerds" (those who don't buy that swagger crap either) many of them want White men (See Karma's statements).
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You make a very good point friend.
 
bonsaiiKITTEN said:
That's a shame because you have about 50 more years on the planet! ;) No use feeling old.



I wonder (and I know white girls like this, primarily southern girls) what these women actually want. They claim they don't want "nerds," but balk they don't want redneck idiots/thugs. I guess it's the ol' dichotomy you hear men talking about with women: Not wanting a "brain," but not wanting a ho.
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Yep LOL
 
xoxo said:
Don't be fooled, she is not talking about Black male "nerds", or a Black version of what a White nerd is a la Steve Urkel.

She's conflating "swagerless" Black men who don't behave like thugs and masking them as nerds merely to find a parallel to the numerous Black women who say they can't find happiness.

What passes as a "Black nerd" is merely the norm for other groups of men who see intelligence and the pursuit thereof as merely an extension of themselves, not some separate path outside the realm of their culture merely pursued for a paycheck.

Black men who have voiced these issues are self assured enough to have tried with these Black women; real Black nerds never bothered to, due to their lack of social interaction/skills with women, thus one of the reason they are considered nerds.

As Nikon so brilliantly stated, if these Black nerds were to date their so-called social equivalents it would be these slovenly, rotundess, "fried or fake" Black women, but unfortunately these women, "body confidence and all" are trying to net Reggie Bush or some "baller" way out of their league. They don't want "swagerless" Black men either, and for the so called Black female "nerds" (those who don't buy that swagger crap either) many of them want White men (See Karma's statements).
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erictbrown1 said:
You make a very good point friend.
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Again, my point that many of them only want Tupac clones.
 
SmoothDaddy101 said:
Again, my point that many of them only want Tupac clones.
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Get the movie dairy of a tired black man, it points out the problems of these women.

And why are a lot of them so damn angery all the time? This woman sounds like she is pissed off at the world. I get it you don't want me but why do you keep talking about me? Why don't you want me to be happy, if I such a loser you would not have made this lost winded blog about me. Get some help from a doctor trust me I'm bipolar it helps to talk to somoene. Smoothdady this woman is about to have a heart attack about us poor little black nerds AHHAHHAHAH
 
erictbrown1 said:
Get the movie dairy of a tired black man, it points out the problems of these women.

And why are a lot of them so damn angery all the time? This woman sounds like she is pissed off at the world. I get it you don't want me but why do you keep talking about me? Why don't you want me to be happy, if I such a loser you would not have made this lost winded blog about me. Get some help from a doctor trust me I'm bipolar it helps to talk to somoene. Smoothdady this woman is about to have a heart attack about us poor little black nerds AHHAHHAHAH
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I get it, her man was on the down-low.
 
erictbrown1 said:
Get the movie dairy of a tired black man, it points out the problems of these women.

And why are a lot of them so damn angery all the time? This woman sounds like she is pissed off at the world. I get it you don't want me but why do you keep talking about me? Why don't you want me to be happy, if I such a loser you would not have made this lost winded blog about me. Get some help from a doctor trust me I'm bipolar it helps to talk to somoene. Smoothdady this woman is about to have a heart attack about us poor little black nerds AHHAHHAHAH
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Eric, looking at those guns, while I hate to hurt your feelings, you're not little or petite. :p

I'm unsure why this woman who seems so tired of BM isn't dating men of other races. Maybe it is harder for black women, but I guarantee, at least in America, if a woman takes care of her hair, makeup, dresses neatly, and doesn't have a completely disagreeable personality, she'll have her pick of a few decent guys, and the same is true of men.
 
bonsaiiKITTEN said:
Eric, looking at those guns, while I hate to hurt your feelings, you're not little or petite. :p

I'm unsure why this woman who seems so tired of BM isn't dating men of other races. Maybe it is harder for black women, but I guarantee, at least in America, if a woman takes care of her hair, makeup, dresses neatly, and doesn't have a completely disagreeable personality, she'll have her pick of a few decent guys, and the same is true of men.
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AHHA thank you I work out hard for my body. I think this womans problem is that she dissed all the good brothers now they don't want her and she is mad about it. She had a lot of bitterness in her and I feel kind of sorry for her. She made a lot of bad choices in men now she want to blame us for it.

I used to be bitter at one point of my life because I was never able to date a lot of sisters growing up. I hit the books hard, started working out learned to be very out going and now I am dating all races of women. I don't hate black women that would mean that I hated my Mother and my aunts etc. I just am tired of them bashing black men evertime I turn around. I am not the man that hurt you and left you with those 4 childern treat me like you want me to treat you with respect.
 
erictbrown1 said:
AHHA thank you I work out hard for my body. I think this womans problem is that she dissed all the good brothers now they don't want her and she is mad about it. She had a lot of bitterness in her and I feel kind of sorry for her. She made a lot of bad choices in men now she want to blame us for it.

I used to be bitter at one point of my life because I was never able to date a lot of sisters growing up. I hit the books hard, started working out learned to be very out going and now I am dating all races of women. I don't hate black women that would mean that I hated my Mother and my aunts etc. I just am tired of them bashing black men evertime I turn around. I am not the man that hurt you and left you with those 4 childern treat me like you want me to treat you with respect.
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Sadly this is a concept that appears to be foreign to an awful lot of people. I'm not sure it's solely a result of being burned in the past, I think it may be the way people are raised as well? Children have to be taught to respect others when they're growing up, and it seems a lot aren't getting that message. I've always told my kids what my family taught me, you give everyone respect until they give you a reason not to. I also don't believe in holding anyone responsible for the bad experiences I've had with someone else. That's just ridiculous, no two people are identical and it is simply inappropriate to hold someone accountable for the mistakes of others. If I did that, based upon the people I've known in my life, I wouldn't talk to anyone, and that would be tragic because there are some really great people out there.
 
EspyInHeels said:
Sadly this is a concept that appears to be foreign to an awful lot of people. I'm not sure it's solely a result of being burned in the past, I think it may be the way people are raised as well? Children have to be taught to respect others when they're growing up, and it seems a lot aren't getting that message. I've always told my kids what my family taught me, you give everyone respect until they give you a reason not to. I also don't believe in holding anyone responsible for the bad experiences I've had with someone else. That's just ridiculous, no two people are identical and it is simply inappropriate to hold someone accountable for the mistakes of others. If I did that, based upon the people I've known in my life, I wouldn't talk to anyone, and that would be tragic because there are some really great people out there.
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Exactly. Some people have it backwards thinking that, "you have to earn my respect". Why not start on equal ground and go from there? Bah, I feel the same way about trust but I'm naive.
 
erictbrown1 said:
AHHA thank you I work out hard for my body. I think this womans problem is that she dissed all the good brothers now they don't want her and she is mad about it. She had a lot of bitterness in her and I feel kind of sorry for her. She made a lot of bad choices in men now she want to blame us for it.

I used to be bitter at one point of my life because I was never able to date a lot of sisters growing up. I hit the books hard, started working out learned to be very out going and now I am dating all races of women. I don't hate black women that would mean that I hated my Mother and my aunts etc. I just am tired of them bashing black men evertime I turn around. I am not the man that hurt you and left you with those 4 childern treat me like you want me to treat you with respect.
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it's true tho, i've seen too many who want a man who's educated. But not a nerd. ? How does that make sense? There are some that are, and there are some that aren't!! Everyone's definition of 'nerd' is different so who is she to say?
I read one or two of her others posts and I agree, she is a VERY bitter woman. I have been there myself but I have never let it stop me and I continue to be with someone I love.
But you hit it right there, with your statement about loving BW. You love people for who they ARE not their skin colour. As far as I'm concerned, if you don't like someone due to skin colour, that's racist. Plain and simple. She has a lot of hatred against white women on there I have noticed, and a lot of hatred against BM even tho she is with one herself. And if you didn't love your momma or your aunts, or nieces because they were BW you have some issues but I find that most BM don't. Most BM still like their momma's and female members of family. It's just certain BW that leave an bitter taste in their mouth.

THank goodness not every BW is like this or we'd have some major issues! My bestie is mixed herself, and has NONE of this hatred in her! I think a lot of it has to do with the backgrounds that most of these women have grown up in - the BM are dogs, they treat women like crap, they abandoned their children, etc and therefore - she writes like that, that's my theory.

Which is stupid, cuz I know lots of white families like that too, and we WW just tend to move on instead of getting angry at WM for not being with us in the end. I could care less who ends up with who. Maybe that's the difference between us and BW. I can be bitter when I want but I'm bitter at people, not a WHOLE gender/ethnicity!
 
It looks good for all your work, Eric. :)

I think a lot of people here are in your boat, although I can only speak for myself: I don't date BM because I hate WM, but I'm tired of the power struggles that seem too common with Anglo Saxon men. There's no "need" for a man. It's purely a want, and I think a lot of WM are intimidated by that in the same way BW are intimidated by that. I feel like if I'm interested in being in a relationship with someone, it's kind of up to me to "market" myself. I think people as a whole would be better off if they thought that way. Then again, I'm selfishly focusing on myself at the moment and rather than putting my foot forward into the dating pool, focusing on school, getting in shape, and taking my down time to shop, watch movies, read, etc.

I understand the bashing - I hear it from WM that WW are too stubborn and selfish, yet they complain when women aren't compliant we're gold diggers. Hilariously, the guys crying about gold diggers often aren't making that much.
 
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