A complaint from alot of black men in IR is that white women do not understand prejudice and when something happens,it divides the 2,being she cant relate. Alot of brothas say they'd date a WW but wouldn't marry them for the simple fact she cant relate to certain things. It would be wonderful if we could reach a mutual point and aid Bm/Ww couples in this area so we could see more serious Bm/Ww relationships.
I see alot of blogs about Bm/Ww but this subject is is almost always avoided. What can be done to bring Bm and Ww closer when prejudice is present?
Dealing with prejudice is the biggest challenge in IR. Like in all significant relationships you have attraction, chemistry, love, commitment & trust. It's the level of love, commitment, communication & trust by both people that determines the strength & success of the relationship.
All relationships require hard work and a willingness to be there for each other no matter what. Ww & bm have to work even harder than everyone else, but in my opinion, it's worth it if you're with the right person for the right reasons.
With strong communication & without judgement IR couples have to form a united front. This is always important but more so when one is going through something the other cannot completely understand not having been in their shoes. I can't say that I know first hand what it's like to be a bm any more than a bm knows exactly what it's like to be a ww BUT it doesn't have to be our own personal experience for us to be supportive & be able to stand united.
When you truly love someone, you put every effort into understanding and supporting what your partner is going through. When I love a man, I hurt when he hurts; I cry when he cries; I laugh when he laughs; when he's happy & content so am I. When it's the type of love it should be to spend your life with someone, it's truly like the Bible says, the two become one.
I think the men spoken of in this thread aren't talking about the kind of prejudice directed at the IR couple; they're talking about their own personal attacks. I've seen bm I love suffer through some ugly things due to prejudice, & this includes my son. Although I've dealt with prejudice directed at myself for being a woman (as most women can identify with) and for racial reasons, I know it's not the same thing that bm go through. We may not be able to empathize but we can sympathize, support and love our men when they need us most & vice versa. We should always have each other's backs.
Sometimes I believe that what hinders the success of IR (& other relationships) is the lack of love, lack of trust, lack of commitment, poor communication, selfishness (the Bible also tells us to esteem others better than ourselves), lack of patience & fear. The biggest issue, in my opinion, is fear. Fear that you won't be loved & valued for who you are or that the one who claims to love you won't be there with you for better or worse as they promise to be. When we allow fear to take hold, it can destroy everything we've built & prevents us from having what we want & need. The Bible (again) tells us that there is no fear in love; perfect (or complete) love casts out fear.
So ww & bm, we should always be willing to take a chance & put ourselves out there with each other. Otherwise we might miss out on something beautiful.
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